


DAY6 DREAMS

by dayswithyou



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Mild Smut, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 10:06:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 109,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19148869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayswithyou/pseuds/dayswithyou
Summary: A collection of short stories featuring DAY6's:Park Jaehyung / JaePark Sungjin / SungjinKang Younghyun / Young K / Brian KangKim Wonpil / WonpilYoon Dowoon / Dowoonand you.From sweet fluff to heartbreaking angst, you'll find them all here.





	1. Chapter 1

Hello My Days!

Starting my ao3 account with a series of stories featuring our precious OT5!

Warnings will appear at the beginning of every chapter should there be triggering content written.

Thoughts in _italics_.

Flashbacks in **bold**.

It's my 1st time posting my work here so I hope you'll enjoy reading them :)

Comments and feedback are very much appreciated! They will help me to grow as a writer ^^

Without further ado, let's begin! 


	2. It's You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: DAY6 Sungjin x OC
> 
> Words: 2.7k
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life
> 
> Description: I knew what it was from that first moment we met. It was…not love at first sight exactly, but – familiarity. Like: Oh, hello. It’s you. It’s going to be you.

**#1**

 

The first time you'd met him, you weren't exactly in a very glamorous position. You were struggling to get your luggage into the overhead compartment. Except that it was too heavy, and your lesser than average height wasn't helping. You were already standing on your tiptoe pushing with all your might but it simply refused to budge. Just as you were about to lose your grip on the object, a strong hand prevented it from cracking your skull open. Those were strong, sturdy hands with big knuckles and a web of veins that stood out from his relatively pale skin. A smooth tenor voice reached your ears, concern lacing his words.

 

“Woah, be careful! Are you ok? Let me help you with that.”

 

You don’t know what it was, but there was a certain quality to his voice that gave you the chills. Not the invasive kind that caused fear to lodge into your heart, but it was… you couldn’t place an exact word to his voice but you found yourself catching onto the last wisps of his words as they got drowned out by the murmur of hundreds of other passengers.

 

But what really sealed the deal were his eyes. Turning back to thank your saviour, you expected to find warm brown eyes but instead, eyes the colour of onyx found yours. They sparkled brightly in the dim light of the aircraft cabin on a midnight flight and staring into them, you felt certain that this is what it would be like the see the galaxies up close. You don’t think anyone could ever forget eyes like that.

 

Passengers behind him were now growing impatient at both of you for causing a bottleneck and before you could properly thank him, he quickly moved forward and disappeared in the sea of people.

 

_Great, now I don’t even know where he is sitting and I can’t even find him later to say thank you even if I wanted. Unless I walk down row by row and risk looking like a creep._

Shaking your head, you expelled that thought from your mind and quickly settled down into your window seat. After all, it was going to be a long haul flight and you wanted to be as comfortable as possible. 

 

That night, the pain in your shoulder woke you up and you decided to stretch a little. Without much thought, you pushed up the plastic curtain & the view outside your window took your breath away. For miles and miles away, stars twinkle softly against the midnight blue sky, the occasional cloud zooming past your sight. The stars formed a beautiful tapestry and some part of you thought this is what heaven must look like. But what shocked you the most was who these stars reminded you of. Immediately, your mind shot back that kind stranger from hours ago and you found yourself smiling slightly at the embarrassing memory. Somewhere in your hazy mind, you decided that it would be nice to have known his name. 

 

But later on as the plane landed in LAX airport, you tried finding him but to no avail. Perhaps if fate would allow it you might get the chance to see him again. 

 

**#2**

 

Taking a trip round Los Angeles yourself with no destination in mind, you wound up outside a park. Walking past the freshly painted green wrought gates, you silently admired the coloured daisies that were springing up from the ground beside you as you walked along the designated pavement. Ivy plant tendrils curled gracefully along the brown bark of big trees, weaving a beautiful pattern along the plain tree barks. You were too busy admiring the sights of spring; you didn't even notice a ginger cat sneaking up to you before brushing past your ankle. Overcoming your initial surprise, you reached down to scratch the ginger behind its ear and got a personal sense of satisfaction out of it when you felt him or her lean into your touch. Just as you wanted to tickle the ginger under its belly, it perked up its ears and took off without warning to a person directly in front of you. Sensing that your time with the ginger was up, you stood to continue your journey but the new person playing with the ginger caused you to stop right in your tracks.

 

_It’s him. It’s that guy from the plane._

 

You didn’t know how you were so sure, but somewhere in your heart, you knew you were absolutely right. It was like seeing a good friend that you haven’t seen in a long time, a sight for sore eyes but the unmistaken feeling of familiarity hanging in the air between the two of you. As if he could hear you calling out to him in your mind, he looked up to meet your eyes. Under the warm orange glow of the evening sun, his eyes shone golden brown. The sunlight reflecting off his golden locks made him look like a prince. Lost in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed that he had approached until he was right in front of you.

 

“Hello, fancy meeting you here again!”

 

“Hello and yes, what a coincidence isn’t it?”

 

He chuckled, causing the side of his eyes to crinkle, lips pulled back to reveal neat rows of white teeth.

 

“It is. What brings you here? Also, is this your cat? She looks gorgeous.” He looked down to stroke the ginger that was tucked safely in his arms.

 

“Oh I was just wandering around until I stumbled upon this place and no, she isn’t mine, though I wish she was.”

 

“Ah what a pity…”

 

By now, the cat was squirming in his arms and said male bent down to let the cat go and both of you watched as she bounded back amongst the bushes.

 

Turning back to face him, the dots finally connected in your brain and you quickly blurted out what you wanted to say to him.

 

“Oh right! I didn’t get to tell you this before but thank you so much for helping me that night. I’m sorry that this word of gratitude came so late; I couldn’t find you afterwards anymore. But I’m so glad that we’ve met again, I’ve wanted to say thank you to you since that night…”

 

You wanted to say his name, only to realise that you didn’t know his name. As if he could read your thoughts, this was his reply:

 

“My name is Sungjin and you’re welcome. I’m just glad that you’re safe. Now that you know my name, am I allowed to know yours?”

 

“Oh my name is Soojung. And once again, thank you Sungjin.”

 

He dipped his head towards you in a small bow and you smiled at the cute gesture. Both of you continued staring at one another for a short while until his phone rang. Giving his text a quick check, he turned towards you again.

 

“I would love to talk to you more but I got to go now. See you around?”

 

You nodded your head, before a soft “See you around” left your lips.

 

Turning, you watched him as he ran in the opposite direction, knowing that this is where your meeting with him ends. Suddenly, he abruptly stops before turning to face you again.

 

“Hey Soojung! If I get to see you again for the third time, am I allowed to bring you out for coffee?”

 

Chuckling slightly at his request, you flashed him a thumbs up sign and even from metres away, you could see his wide smile before he took off down again in the opposite direction.

 

On the way home, Sungjin was all you could think about and the thought of meeting him again made your insides feel warm and against your wishes, your lips curved into a wide smile. The three simple words “See you around” held so much promise for you.

 

**#3**

Of all places, you had least expected to see him at your cousin’s wedding.

 

You had come back from Korea to be her bridesmaid on her special day and you were in charge of reception Keeping your eyes glued to the clipboard in front of you, you didn’t even look up before saying your line.

 

“Hello, welcome to Lisa and Mark’s wedding! May I have your name please?”

 

“You know what my name is.”

 

_Of course, how could I ever forget?_

Looking up, for the third time in your life, you met the twinkling eyes of Sungjin, whom you now also knew as Park Sungjin, thanks to the guest list.

 

“Hello Sungjin, fancy seeing you for the third time.”

 

“I would say the same.”

 

He then opened his mouth to say something more to you but instead, you left you dangling with hope again.

 

“You seem really busy now so I’ll catch you later instead.”

 

Stepping aside to let the next guest come forward, you watched his back view for a little while before your job demanded for your attention once more, and all thoughts about Sungjin were set aside for now.

 

For the entire night, you didn’t manage to see Sungjin at all but little did you know, he always kept you in sight. The bride is supposedly the most beautiful lady tonight, but to Sungjin, you outshone her. To him, you looked absolutely lovely in that mint green lace dress and the flower crown made of white baby breaths made you look like a sweet fairy. Never has he ever, laid eyes on such beauty before.

 

When the time for slow dancing came, he seized the opportunity.

 

Walking up to you, he extended his hand to you before asking you politely,

 

“May I have this dance?”

 

**Soojung POV**

After Sungjin asked me to dance, it took me a few seconds to register his words before I actually placed my hand in his whilst nodding my head. Pulling me up gently from my seat, he led me to a quieter spot on the dance floor. Watching the other couples, I realised that the other girls had locked their hands around the male’s neck and so, I decided to copy but instead,  I placed my hands on his broad shoulders instead, placing it on his neck so quickly would be a little too much.

 

I’d expected him to place his hands on my hips immediately but he was such a gentlemen for asking first.

 

“May I?”

 

I nodded and he held onto the sides of my hips, placing almost no pressure there, indicating a light touch only.

 

_He’s being really gentle with me._

We swayed around for a little before he broke the silence first.

 

“So… now that I’m seeing you for the third time, am I allowed to take you out for coffee some time?”

 

“Why only after the third time?”

 

“Because the third time’s the charm. So, am I allowed to?”

 

“Yes, but what date do you have in mind?”

 

“Tomorrow?”

 

“I can’t… I’m heading back to Korea tomorrow.”

 

“Me too! I was actually going to ask you for coffee in the morning before my afternoon flight.”

 

“Oh I’m taking an afternoon flight too! Another coincidence oh gosh I can’t believe our luck…”

 

“You know Soojung, there’s a real possibility that we might be taking the same flight.”

 

“On the count of 3, we say the flight number together. 1, 2, 3!”

 

And “KE103!” left our lips in unison, causing the other couples on the dance floor to stare at us before they resumed their dances.

 

This time, I was the first to speak.

 

“This is unbelievable. There’s too many coincidences to be true.”

 

“It’s almost as if fate wants us to be together.”

 

Upon hearing his words, I became too shy to look him in the eye and my eyes naturally found the ground and I just kept staring at my white pumps and his shiny black shoes.

To make the blush on my cheeks even worse, Sungjin let his lips dropped to my ears before he said,

 

“In case no one has told you yet, you look really lovely tonight. Even prettier than the bride I might say.”

 

“Sungjin that is absolutely not something you should say tonight.”

 

“Only stating facts from my point of view~”

 

I narrowed my eyes at him as he feigned a look of innocence on his face, looking left and right before finding my eyes again as he smiled. Catching his infectious smile, I found myself smiling along with him.

 

In that moment, I felt like the beginnings of a strong bond had already formed and I knew I would fight with my life to keep it going.

 

**Epilogue**

 

Closing the door of the music studio softly, I tiptoed over to the hardworking figure still strumming his guitar, oblivious that his girlfriend has already arrived. Giving my favourite teddy bear a back hug, I placed a quick kiss on his cheek before placing my head on his shoulder to watch his reaction.

 

His eyes grew wide, shocked to see me.

 

“How did you know I was here?”

 

“If you aren’t home with me nor are you with the boys, you must be here. I know you too well Park Sungjin. Besides, it’s 1am, you love writing songs at this timing.”

 

“Sorry for staying up so late honey.” Sungjin then gave me a quick peck on my lips.

 

“It’s ok, I know you write songs best now but I just wanted to make sure my boyfriend is alright too.”

 

The harsh studio lights illuminated the thin sheen of sweat lining his forehead and you pulled down the sleeves of your sweater to wipe away the sweat. You noticed his eyes watching you as his hands naturally found their way around your waist.

 

“You’re tired Sungjin, do you wanna take a short break?”

 

“I would if you’ll stay with me.”

 

“Why do you always have to be this cheesy?”

 

Despite your protests, you acceded to his request and you snuggled close to him on the black leather sofa leaning against the wall in the studio. You listened to his steady breathing and strong heartbeat before slowly slipping into sleep.

Becoming sentimental at 1am was also your kind of thing so you turned to look at Sungjin before asking a question that’s always been on your mind.

 

“Sungjin?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“How did you know I was the one?”

 

His eyes shot open before looking down at you.

 

“You really want to know? It’s quite crazy to me too, sometimes when I think back about it.”

 

“Tell me about it.”

 

“When I first saw you on the plane, I already knew somewhere in my heart then that it was going to be you whose going to be the one to mean the world to me. It wasn’t love at first sight per say… but rather, you gave me a sense of comfort and familiarity when I first saw you. I could easily envision having easy conversations with you, chilling on dates out and becoming your best friend as you became mine. Everything with you was just so wonderful and sweet… it was as though I’ve known you for years somehow. A tiny part of my soul just kept whispering to me, it’s you, it’s always been you…”

 

His eyes trailed off before that sparkle came to his eyes, that sparkle that indicated that he has gotten inspiration.

 

“That’s it, that’s what the next song is going to be about. Thanks baby you’re an absolute genius!”

 

He gave you another quick peck before picking up his guitar and heading back to the work desk, tentatively strumming a few strings to get the tune.

 

Rather than being annoyed at him abandoning you for work, you watched with admiration as he went about executing his craft, soaking in the sight of your favourite man doing what he loves, like how a best friends would support one another in chasing their dreams.

 

Months later, their newest single “It’s You” came out and that was also the day Sungjin proposed to you.

 

Your favourite DAY6 song playing in the background as your favourite man got on his knees to ask you to be his forever.

 

“Soojung, will you marry me?”

 

Of course I would, it’s you Park Sungjin, it’s always been you.”  


	3. Sweetheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters:Young K x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life
> 
> Words: 2.3k
> 
> Description: When an encounter turns into a habit, brought upon by a little ray of joy

 

 Stepping out of your quaint little apartment and onto the pavement, you loved the crunchy sounds of the leaves under your boots and you found yourself staring at the ground as you walked, admiring the brown and orange leaves that were a gift from autumn itself. The chilly October breeze that circled you whipped up your long tresses and caused you to wrap your red plaid scarf a little tighter around your neck.

Since the festive season was around the corner, you wanted to switch up your interior décor a little and you decided that candles would be a good start. Stepping into a shop that glowed warm orange, you greeted the familiar lady behind the counter and she smiled widely upon seeing her regular customer here. Walking down the aisles you knew so well, you began picking out the scented candles that you wanted. None of them really stuck to you except for a caramel brown one. It reminded you a warm hearth and sweet treats, giving you a sense of comfort. Just as you were about to turn around, a little girl came burst out of nowhere and had your legs trapped in her tiny hold as she embraced you with a hug. She had her faced buried in the fabric of your jeans but you could make out her next word clearly.

“Mummy!”

Instead of being flustered, warmth filled your heart at her cute mistake. Your maternal instincts kicked in and you gently stroked her silky brown hair but before you could say something to her, a man burst out from one of the aisle, apologising to you as he gently extricated the young girl from you.

“Sophia, that’s not mummy… let go of her now…”

Once he had gotten her in his arms again, he turned to you to apologise.

“Miss I’m really sorry about that, I’ll keep a better eye on this little one in future.”

“Oh no it’s alright! No harm done.”

You gave him a tiny smile to show your sincerity and he followed suit, giving you a shy, sweet smile as further apology. As you walked down the aisle towards the cashier, you decided that it was alright to say goodbye to Sophia and you bopped her nose, causing her to erupt in bubbly giggles.

Stepping out of the store, you didn’t manage to get far before the familiar weight crashed into you. Peering down, you found Sophia clinging on your legs like a koala and the same man from before ran up to you and simply looked upon the situation with a sign of defeat.

“She really likes you… so may I have the honour of bringing you out for some hot chocolate?”

You had opened your mouth to reply him but someone else had beaten you to it instead.

A muffled “Yesss~” came from Sophia, whom still had her face buried in your jeans.

-

Watching Sophia as she bounded towards the play area with the other kids, you focused your attention on the man in front of you. Dressed smartly in a maroon turtleneck and dark grey winter coat with his forehead exposed, he looked like he had just stepped out of the cover page of some business magazine but yet he exuded a family guy kind of vibe. Just based on his appearance, he was a man with dual charms and you were sure he had more charms to show. The more you looked at him, the more Sophia showed resemblance to him. They had almost the same facial feature, especially the smile. The only thing that was different was the eyes: she had bright, doe eyes but he had sharp, feline eyes. You assumed the young gentleman was Sophia’s father, which begs the next question – where is her mother?

Turning his attention back to you, he lapsed into an easy conversation with you.

“I apologise for her repeated actions. I can’t figure out why she thinks you are her mother.”

“It’s alright; sometimes there are just some things that children can see that we as adults can’t you know?”

“Perhaps you’re right. Despite caring for her for 3 years, I can’t seem to figure out how she works.”

“It must be a very happy 3 years for you and your wife. She’s such a lovely girl.”

Now, it was his turn to turn bright red.

“You’re mistaken… she’s not my daughter and I don’t have a wife. Sophia’s my sister’s little daughter.”

As the cogs in your brain slowly turned, you realised your grave mistake. Sophia was his niece, _not his daughter._

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. She looks so much like you I just made assumptions…”

“It’s fine, happens all the time. You get used to it.” He chuckled afterwards, making your embarrassment melt away a little. Sticking out his hand, he decided to introduce himself.

“Hi my name’s Brian.”

“Y/N. It was nice to meet you Brian”

-

After that fateful day, you had the entire weekend to yourself before your first day of work started at the day-care centre and for the third time in your life, the same familiar weight crashed into your feet.

 Little Sophia was hugging your legs again and you looked up to see Brian looking upon the cute sight with surprise.

“Wow what a coincidence. Who’d have expected to see you here again?”

“I agree. But it’s good to see the both of you again.”

“Take care of her for me? I’ll be here to pick her up at 6pm. Bye Sophia!” But poor Brian got ignored by the little girl whom was still snuggling against your legs.

“She has abandoned me, whom cared for her for 3 years, for you, which she knew 3 days ago. Am I allowed to feel offended Y/N?”

He faked a look of mock hurt as he backed away from both of you and by now, you could hardly stifle your laughter at his poor attempt to be jealous. Before leaving, he waved goodbye, walking away with an air of purpose and disappearing swiftly from your sight.

-

Such daily occurrences would become a thing. It didn’t take long for you to officially become Sophia’s favourite teacher and very soon, you became her third favourite person right after her mom and Brian. The pair of them was gradually growing fond of you and Brain began finding more ways to ask you to spend time with them. He was glad to have Sophia as a cover; else his affection for you would have been too obvious. On working days, he would linger too long at the day-care centre to stall time in hope of getting to talk to you for that extra minute or two. So much so to the point that the kids were soon shipping the both of you; everytime you were talking to Brain, the kids will always peek out from behind the cupboards to catch a glimpse of their fairytale couple. The cheekier ones would give you drawings of you and Brian together. On weekends, he would ask you out by saying that Sophia wants to see you and you would gladly accept, thinking that it was only for Sophia and being completely oblivious to his affection. Yet each time he saw you with her, his love for you would only grow. You were so good with kids, and it was easy seeing how you would become a good mother in future. He wasn’t even going to lie: he wanted someone like you to be the mother of his kids. It’ll be even better if it was you. But he was an absolutely idiot when it comes to things like these, and he needed help desperately.

-

Meeting DAY6 was no coincidence, Brian had it all planned out. Whilst you were looking after Sophia in your house, Brian came over to pick the both of you before heading back to his place to meet them. Through the night, the boys did their best to find out more about you and by the end of it, you had gotten the seal of approval from all 4 of them. Jae, in particular, was getting extremely frustrated at Brian. It was so obvious that Brian wanted to make a move but he was still stalling. It was taking all of Jae’s willpower to not scream at the both of you to just get together already.

Pulling Brain to the kitchen, he launched a full blown lecture on him.

“Brian my man, just do it already!”

“Do what?”

“Confess! Ask her out! Actually do something except stare at her! Girls like her don’t lack admirers you know, don’t act fast and POOF the next thing you know she’s going to be taken.”

The thought of losing you to another man terrified Brian but he was still unsure about this whole thing.

“She might not see me that way Jae, and I don’t want to risk it all.”

“Oh come on! Don’t be a fool! She likes you too alright? Just take that leap of faith! Watching the two of you tonight is so suffocating, I need some real action! But whatever the case is, I know you wanted us to see her tonight to get to know her and I can safely say she’s the one. If it feels right now, go for it.”

After his last piece of solid advice, Jae left Brain with his own thoughts.

-

The ride back home that night was silent as always, both of you sitting comfortably in the silence. You had expected the same goodbye from Brian tonight but he decided to spice things up a little. Before you could step into your apartment, he stopped you.

“Y/N wait.”

“Hmm?”

Stepping up till your eye level, Brian searched your face a little before leaning forward to press his lips against your forehead.

“Good night Y/N. Sweet dreams.”

Afraid of your reaction, Brian quickly fled the scene, leaving you dumbfounded but feeling warm inside. The pressure of his lips lingered on your forehead the entire night, the sweet memory instantly bringing a smile to your lips.

 

Back in his own home, someone else was a nervous wreck. He needed to talk to someone and he decided to call the most dependable person on earth. Dialling that foreign number, he waited for the call to connect across borders before he could hear his sister’s voice over the phone.

“Younghyun? What made you call?”

“An emergency.”

“From your tone, that sounds about right. What happened?”

“I think I’m in love.”

“Oh, Y/N right? I’d have to say I saw that coming.”

“Wait, was I that obvious?”

“Little brother, I was once married. I know how to tell when someone is in love. Judging from the millions of photos and videos combined that you sent me, I can tell from your beaming face that you’re in love with her.”

“Ok geez you didn’t have to spell it out for me; but yes I do love her. Tell me what I should do; I am absolutely clueless in this department.”

“Think simple. Just go for it.”

“Wow thank you sister that was the most useful piece of advice I have ever heard.”

“Excuse you, how rude. But I’m serious. I haven’t even met her yet but I’m getting extremely good vibes from her. From what I can see, she is gentle and sweet, just like you are. If you really think she’s the one, go for it. How long are you planning to make her wait, a few more years? I hope not. Also, I’m fairly certain she has good feelings for you so drop the fear and just ask her to be yours for real. Besides, if Sophia likes her this much, she must be truly lovely. I trust my baby girl’s sense of judgement.”

“You really think so?”

“Absolutely sure. Younghyun, don’t overthink it. Be you and ask her in the most natural way possibly. Have faith and trust that she’ll say yes. I got to go for my meeting now so goodbye!”

He was left listening to the dial tone as he flopped onto his bed; battling with his feelings for a long time until courage finally won over. He then announced to no one in particular.

“I’ll ask her tomorrow.”

-

You thought it was just another normal movie night with Brian and Sophia when he called you over. Letting her indulge in her favourite Disney princesses, Brain led you out the balcony whilst clasping both your hands tightly in his.

“Y/N… I got to tell you something…”

You could tell that he was nervous, but you decided to not point that out. Instead, you tried to make him comfortable by using a gentle tone.

“Sure, I’m going to listen to what you have to say.”

Staring into your eyes with sincerity, he began his speech.

“Y/N, I’ve actually liked you for a long time now, a lot. Seeing you was like seeing my future. It was easy envisioning you with your own kids and it struck me then how much I wished your kids were mine too. It was then I knew that I loved you and it just kept deepening. You’ve seen all my sides, as raw and as honest as they can be. From here on I have nothing to hide from you and I’m certain that I want you to play a bigger role in my life. So what I’m saying is… will you be mine?”

“Of course, I’m actually glad you asked.”

Wrapping your arms around his neck as he breathed a sigh of relief, his hands found his way around your waist and you both embraced to the happy cheering of Sophia in the background.


	4. Goodbye Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Young K x You
> 
> Genre: Warning: angst, mentions of death and blood, slight fluff (please read at your own risk)
> 
> Words: 5.4k 
> 
> Description: How am I supposed to live when I had my heart ripped out?

No words were exchanged when she got into the car. Both of them simply leaned forward until their lips connected in a smooth dance.  If there was anyone there to witness the moment, no one would doubt their love for one another. Adoration shone out of his face as he displayed that special smile for her; a smile only reserved for her.

“Brian what are you staring at? Start the car!”

“Sorry. But you know how you can’t take your eyes off something so exquisitely beautiful? That’s what happening right now.” He then picked up her left hand and kissed her fingers, smiling even wider when his lips came into contact with the silver band, the one that indicated that they were each other’s for all eternity. She, on the other hand, blushed furiously at her fiancé. He made her feel this special all the time but she could still never get used to it.

“Get ready, tonight’s going to be really special.”

“I don’t know if I should be surprised or afraid of your surprises.”

“What? Come on, they’re not that bad.”

“In my opinion honey, they can be pretty bad sometimes.”

As he drove, they playfully bantered back and forth, sometimes about their past, sometimes about their future.

No one saw it coming.

Neither of them saw it coming.

By the time he noticed, the headlights of the car in front was already blinding him and then the sickening impact came. The quiet surrounding erupted into a deafening cacophony all around him.

The sound of glass breaking,

The horrible screech of metal colliding against metal,

But worst of all,

The sickening thud of a body hitting the hard gravel below.

When the sounds faded away and all that was left was the hydraulic hiss of the machines beneath his and the ticking of the car that was in sync with the flashing of the car headlights, that’s when the smell hit.

The thick coppery smell of blood that was rapidly flowing down his face assaulted his senses and from where his eyes were positioned, he could see a steady pool forming around his face. Lifting his eyes up, realisation hit him that the seat beside him was empty. Before the highly vicious liquid threatened to glue his eyes shut, he lifted his eyes with much difficulty, spotting the figure lying on the floor metres away from him, her limbs sticking out in an unnatural fashion, the blood pooling around her getting larger and larger as the seconds pass.

_Save her… please…_

Stretching his arm out, he tried to reach out to her, to hold onto her. His dying wish was simply to keep her alive, and that was the last thought on his mind before he was dragged into darkness.

-

_This is wrong, why can I feel? Why can I hear? Why I can see…?_

His senses slowly come back to him. First, he could feel the soft linen of the sheet underneath his palms. They feel rougher, not like what he had back home. Next, he could hear the high-pitched beeping of the monitors next to him that seemed to be in sync with his breathing and heartbeat. Lastly, the moment he cracked his eyes open, the bright fluorescent lights piercing his sensitive eyes. Letting out a low groan, he managed to stir someone sitting by his bed and he briefly caught a glimpse of blonde hair before that person was out of the door.

For the next 20 minutes, he was prodded and thoroughly checked by a team of doctors. As his mind became capable of thinking once more, questions began to form and one thing led to another.

_Why am I in a hospital? Car crash… I think… Who was I with when that happened?_

Then, the flashbacks happened so quickly he was nearly knocked out from the intensity of them. He remembered the blinding white lights, all the blood and seeing her lie on the ground. Catching onto the head doctor’s wrist like a madman, he demanded answers from all of them.

“Where’s Grace?”

Their silence made his voice die in his throat but it was the look on their faces that made him wish that someone would hand him a gun so that he could die instead. He knew that look. It was the same look the doctors gave him so many years ago. He was 14, a sick and pale boy sitting outside the surgery room when the doctors came out, gave him that pained expression and told him that both his parents were gone.  The last he saw of them was when they lowered the twin black caskets into the cold, hard ground and forever they disappeared from his life. He looked at Jae for confirmation, but even his best friend couldn’t look him in the eyes. He released the doctor’s wrist from his grip and when the pain hit, that’s when he went into hysteria, ripping tubes out of him and screaming his head off. Before he could cause further damage, they knocked him out and he was once again consumed by the deep darkness.

-

Brian was the perfect example of a man whom has lost his will to live. He was trapped in his own self-destructive thinking, responding to no one at all. The pain cut even deeper into his soul when her parents blamed him for killing her.

“You killed her, leave!”

“Murderer, we don’t need you here.”

“Why did you take her away from us?”

Even though he was still half-covered in bandages, they showed him no mercy, hurling accusations at him, pounding their fists into his body and filling his ears with their horrible wails of sorrow when his inner demons already tortured him enough daily. Jae had to physically drag him away from them before he would leave. Ever since that day, he has not contacted with her family at all. They won’t even let him know where they laid her to rest.

As for his own well-being, he could care less. He stopped taking his medication and didn’t turn up for a single therapy session. Eventually, the hospital stopped calling and for good measure, he plugged out his landline so no one could ever bother him again. He let his hair grow long and steady stubbles began to form on his face. He let his house fall into dilapidation, the abandoned exterior a reflection of its owner whom has already abandoned himself. He also lost his job after punching a superior. Not like he cared anyways, what’s the use of living when the world has already taken all that he loved from him? The only reason he was kept alive was because of Jae. Everyday, Jae would come over to drop off food for Brian and cook a meal sometimes but the next day when he came back, the food would go untouched, an ants infestation happening in the kitchen. Brian was his best friend yes, and it hurt him to see him in such a state but Jae was only human, a human with his limits.

Seeing Brian staring at his food again, Jae couldn’t stop the rage bursting out of him. Throwing the cloth into the sink, he finally lashed out.

“That’s it Brian, you’re getting out of the house.”

Dragging him by the collar, Jae dragged him out of the house before hurling him down onto the carpet of grass that was now strewn with years of decayed leaves.

“Tell me Brian, what’s going to make you pick up your life again? I can’t keep babysitting you! We’ve had this talk before; I’ll let you grieve but I think it’s enough. It’s been over a year, can you at least make an effort to live again?”

All Brian did was stare at Jae’s basketball shoes.

“Fine. Have fun living like this. Until you’re ready to face the world again, don’t contact me.” This time, there was no hint of joke in his voice. Turning on his heels, Jae left and that was the last Brian saw of him. When he finally stood up from the ground, that’s when he first saw you. Hair done up in a messy bun, snuggly wrapped in a sweater and comfy track pants. Your cheeks were dusted light pink from all the hauling you had to do. Judging by the number of large cartons stacked outside your house, you were going to be his new neighbour for a long time.  Even as he slammed the door shut, you were still staring at him, wondering what your new neighbour’s deal.

-

The orange hues of autumn slowly gave way to the icy blue winter and with the electricity supply cut off, Brian was freezing off in his house and the primal instinct to keep oneself alive began to kick in. For the rest of the day, his body moved on its own, hitting the barber, grocery store and town council to get his house running again. By the time he winded up right outside your house ready to cross the street to reach his own, he was thoroughly exhausted. A year of neglect has obviously left his body in a terrible state. So of course, when the first snowball hits him, it takes him awhile to register the cold seeping through this shirt. When he turns, ready to growl at that idiot that had the audacity to bother him, he was clearly surprised when he saw you still smiling, clearly unfazed by the hostile look on his face.

“Hey neighbour! Lighten up a little! Join me for a snowball fight?”

When he stares at you from his spot unmoving, you literally run to drag him onto your lawn, before placing a snowball in his head.

“Now you can throw it!” You beamed at him even though he was staring at you with the most incredulous look.

_I don’t even know her, why should I play along with her games?_

In an attempt to scare you off, he decided to be as heartless as he can be. Staring at you dead in the eye, he dropped the snowball you passed him to the ground before swiftly turning on his heels. That’s when the second one hits him square on the back of his head. As though someone had lit up the match of competitiveness in him, he decided to launch an attack on you and this fight went on for hours outside your house before both of you collapsed onto the thick carpet of snow, making snow angels on the ground.

“That wasn’t so bad was it Mr Neighbour?”

“No, that wasn’t bad at all.”

“See, that’s why you should leave your house a little more. You’re bound to find a little surprise in each day.”

Staring at one another, laughter erupted from the both of you and Brian began to fill a little warmth spread through his body.

-

Ever since that day, Brian began to be nicer to you. Both of you would greet one another from across the lawn and soon enough, that simple greeting transformed into conversations. Brian found talking to you very interesting, you had so much passion about everything and hearing you talk entranced him. You had huge hand gestures and quirky expression and those made him laugh all the time. Sitting down on your respective front yards to yell at one another across the street would become your way of communicating and that was the norm until you boldly crossed the road one day to lie down on the grass next to him. You didn’t even ask for permission; simply plopped down and stretched out your body across his lawn, the sweet scent of the grass filling your nose now that winter was over.

“What are you doing?”

“Lying down on your grass patch, anything wrong?”

“No but…”

“If there isn’t an issue, lie down next to me!” You patted the patch right next to you, smiling at him as you did.

“Ok…” Despite his sceptic tone in his voice, he did as you said, his shoulder just lightly brushing against yours.

“This is a much better way to have a conversation. I was going hoarse trying to yell at you across the street just now.”

“You’re so weak Y/N.”

“Try having 3 lectures back to back, I’ll see how you survive.” You were an assistant professor at a local university, a great achievement for someone your age and your brilliant mind was just one of the things he adored about you.

Both of you continued talking about previous topic of music for a little while before silence blanketed the both of you.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yea?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Have I ever said no Brian? Ask away!”

“Why’d you approach me that day? The day we had that snowball fight?”

“The reason is really simple: I wanted to know you better. And I also knew that to know someone better, I need to approach them and so I did. It’s kind of like dealing with life you know? In order to face whatever life has in store for you, you got to make the effort to meet life first. You have to look up and say, ‘Yes, I’m ready to tackle the day again.’ before anything is going to happen. It’s all about putting your foot out first and having that conviction to move forward. You can’t stand still and hope for progress, life doesn’t work that way. And I’m glad I launched that snowball at you, because now I’ve gained another friend.”

Suddenly, it became clear what he had to do to move away from the ghosts of his past.

_I have to make the first move. I have to put in that effort to move forward. I have to let go._

“Y/N, you’re a real genius.”

“Wow, Brain pays me a compliment for the first time in my life. I got to note this day down in history.”

“Now you’re just being silly.”

“Aw come on, life wouldn’t be fun if we’re always so serious!”

-

_Is he moving away?_

That was the first thing on your mind when you noticed stacks of boxes outside his house, with some furniture lying in an abandoned pile by the side. You didn’t think twice before entering his house.

“Hey Y/N, what brings you here?”

“Are you moving away?”

“No, just clearing some stuff out.”

“You call that some? Your house is almost stripped bare.”

“Ok maybe broken might be a better word to describe the things I’m throwing out.”

“Do you need any help?”

“I could use an extra pair of hands around here. Mind starting with those boxes by the door? Help me transport them to the huge bin outside.”

Picking up the one closest to you, the first image shocked you. It was a frame of Brian and a girl in a wedding shoot. Both of them were looking into each other’s eyes lovingly and the whole moment just looked perfect. You found it very hard to reconcile the happy man in the picture with the Brian you knew whose eyes had a duller sparkle to them now. It is even harder to imagine him as the man you first saw on the lawn fighting with his friend. Come to think of it, you don’t ever recall seeing a ring on his finger so who is this mystery lady? Something must have gone wrong between the two of them.

“Brain… where’s your wife?” You held up the photo for him to see, waiting for him to yell at you for invading his privacy. Instead, a look on extreme pain was painted across his face and tears began to well up in his eyes. Tearing his gaze away from the photo to not let you see his tears drop, his answer came out as a whisper.

“She was my fiancée to be exact. She died in a car crash before we could get married.”

“Oh… I’m so sorry to hear about that…” You gently set the picture down, the contents of the box weighing a ton heavier now. How could you possibly throw away something so dear to him?

“Are you sure you want to throw these away? They seem dear to you.”

“Perhaps if I tell you my story you’ll see why I have to throw it away.”

And so he did. For the entire afternoon, he related the entire incident to you and graphic images of that day stood out so prominently it felt like someone had seared a brand into his brain and he would never be allowed to forget any of that. By the end of it, he was a sobbing wreck.

“I killed her with my own hands Y/N… it was so hard to move on from that fact… for a year I was stuck in a place neither here nor there… it was so dark and confusing and I was angry at myself…”

“Hey it’s ok…” Gently, you drew him into your arms, allowing him to sob in your embrace as your hands enveloped him. To calm him down, you kept talking.

“You got to stop blaming yourself for this. It was an accident and no one could have reacted in time to stop it from happening. Brian, it really isn’t your fault and you need to break out of this mindset. You’re alive now and honestly, I’m so proud of you for moving forward and I’m sure she would be too. Besides, you got me and that blonde friend of yours, we’ll help you get through this.”

Before he could do anything else, those bringing in the new furniture were knocking on his door and you have never seen a person pull himself together this quickly.

-

Once his house was liveable again, you became a regular guest at his house. He got back his finance job which gave him more purpose. Brian also established contact with Jae again and sometimes the 3 of you would have game nights together. But most of the time, it was just you and him. Movie nights, dinner night, deep talk nights and more. Playing his guitar for you also happened sometimes. If Brian was feeling a little fancier that day, he would suggest that both of you head out to town for some fun. At carnivals, he proved to be a rather sharp shooter, shooting down bottles and winning those giant plush toys for you. By now, you had about 7 of them lying in all corners of your room. But no matter what the both of you did, Brian could easily find more things to love about you. It wasn’t the big things you did for him that meant the most, but rather it was the small habits of yours that made you find your way into his heart even more.

The way strands of hair would escape your hairband and fall in a neat curtain around your face.

The way you always matched your clothes in sets: sometimes they’re of the same material, other times they’re of the same colour.

The way you’d sing softly unconsciously as you strum his guitar.

There were so many little things that you did that tugged at his heart strings. He thought he was incapable of love after what happened with Grace but this feeling he felt with you; it was stronger than what he had with her. Looking at you now as you fell asleep in his couch, he spoke his mind, the evening sky the only one listening to him.

“What is this weird feeling stirring in me? You truly are amazing Y/N, I haven’t managed to feel this thing called love in such a long time until you came whisking into my life. You’re bubbling with so much passion all the time, sometimes bordering on crazy. Other times, you look so pretty I want to capture every look you give and frame it up for all eternity. When you’re quiet, I want to just sit and watch you as you enter your own space and at times, I wonder what goes on in that gifted mind of yours. I want to proudly say you’re mine but… I’m also worried. I seem to lose everyone I love, I can’t lose you too. What if you don’t see me the way I do? There’s just so many ‘What If’ that could happen. Most importantly, do you love me?”

On cue, as though you had heard his question, the 3 magic words slipped past your lips.

“I love you Brian.”

Initially, he thought you had been awake all the while listening to him and that he had finally messed up big time but turns out, you were just mumbling in your sleep like you do occasionally. Draping a blanket around you, he laid down on the hard floor next to you before drifting off the sleep, holding onto your hand still.

-

“Hey Jae hang on.”

Stepping into the store with Brian, Jae obviously raised his eyebrows.

“Dude what are we doing here?”

“I’m going to get her something.”

“What’s the special occasion?”

“I… I… I’m going to tell her tonight.”

“Tell her what?”

“Jae don’t be an ass, you know the answer.”

“Fair enough I do know the answer but I am going to be an ass. I want to hear you say it before I believe you.”

“I’m going to tell her I like her tonight alright? Are you happy now?”

“Are you sure about this? What about Grace?”

Jae knew that he could get punched in the face by Brian at any point now but he had to do it to see if he was ready to confess his love for you. If he had any outburst after hearing about Grace, he definitely is not ready to handle you.

He waited,

and waited,

and waited.

“I threw out all our items.”

With that simple line, Brian walked further into the shop and Jae gladly followed.

 

As you were doing the dishes, Brian silently crept up behind you before pressing his lips against your hair, talking to you softly from his position behind you.

“I got something for you Y/N.”

“Oh, why? There’s no special occasion. What is it?”

“You got to turn around first.”

Drying your hands against the towel, you turned around to meet his eyes and you were startled when you saw that they had a different light to them this time round. It reminded you slightly of how he looked in that wedding shoot but it left as soon as it came.

_I must be hallucinating._

Gently taking your wrist, he clasped the bracelet before giving you a few moments to study it. The symbolism of the bracelet was not missed by you. The gems he had chosen were the rose quartz, which is widely associated with love. The charms were a classic – a lock and key – which definitely meant that you held the key to his heart. This was a love confession. You looked up from the bracelet to look into his eyes before smiling – this was your way of saying yes. No words were needed; he immediately dipped his head down and his lips found yours quickly. At first you could barely feel a thing, he was simply brushing his lips across yours but it escalated to a heated one. His hands were on your hips and lower back and he was pressing you close to him; he needed to feel you to know that this was all real. Your hands were locked tightly behind his neck, pulling him closer to you. All space was eliminated; all either of you could register was the feeling of the other’s body and the pair of lips that were attached to yours.

This was the greatest risk he had taken in his entire life and he was glad that he did. For once, his bravery was rewarded greatly.

 

It was not official yet, but you might as well have announced it to the world. You were practically living in his house at this point in time. You slept in his bed more than you slept in your own and his room was filling up with more of your items: clothes, bathroom essentials, accessories. Waking up next to him was very normal now and he hated it when you had to leave early just so that you can go back to your house to prepare for work. Other than work, both of you practically spent each waking moment with one another. Brian had also become more open with his displays of affection: sudden kisses that catch you off guard, dinner all ready by the time you’re home and new items that you need but you never asked from him laid out on your bed. He was doing his best to spoil you and you hate it admit it, but it is working. Every single day for the next 2 years was always a joy with him by your side. There was never a dull moment and he would always do his best to treat you right. But what he doesn’t know is this:

He doesn’t know about the wicked headaches that hit you when you were at work.

He doesn’t know about the nose bleeds.

He doesn’t know that sometimes when you wake up at night, it’s not because you simply cannot sleep, but it’s because of the pain that sets your whole body on fire.

And you don’t tell him, because even you don’t know what’s wrong with you. You simply wrote them off, blaming it on stress. Not until one day as you were lecturing when you heard your students gasping and pointing to you. Bright red dots were dripping onto the floor of the lecture theatre and before you could do anything else, the pain hit and you went out.

-

“Y/N? How are you doing?”

_That’s Jae’s voice._

“Hello Jae. I’m good. I passed out while lecturing and then what happened?”

“The university staff brought you in and you’ve been here for a day.” He then paused, unsure of how to continue.

“What is it Jae?”

“I… think that there’s something you ought to hear. I’m going to call the doctors in.”

The delivery of the news was swift and precise, just like how you wanted it too.

Cancer. Already spread to the rest of the body. Stage 4. A month left to live.

That, was your diagnosis. After thanking the doctors, you were left alone with Jae, whom was fighting very hard to hold back his tears.

“Jae, don’t cry please. Also, please tell me you didn’t tell Brian about this.”

“No I didn’t. I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”

“Thank you, because I don’t want him to know about it.”

“Y/N… what if he doesn’t make it back in time? He’s going to be away from a month on that business trip. That’s as long as you have.”

“Then he doesn’t. I don’t want this to affect him Jae. It’s his big break and especially not after what happened with his fiancée before. It will crush him to watch me waste away. I don’t want to put him through that pain.”

“I understand…so what do we do now?”

“First of all, it’s definitely to get me discharged. I don’t want treatment, there’s no point. I want to live the remainder of my days outside, not travelling to hospital for chemo. Secondly, legal matters. Thirdly, I might need to rely on you a lot during this one month, I hope you don’t mind.”

 -

The doctor was being overly optimistic when he said one month. Due to your adamant refusal towards treatment, your condition became worse and each wave that hit sucked the life out of you. By the end of two weeks, you took your last breath. As per your instructions, your funeral was a simple one and you would not wait for Brian to be back. Jae was at a complete loss; he didn’t know how he could possibly tell Brian the truth. But thankfully, you saved him the trouble of it.

“Jae, where’s Y/N?”

“She’s a little busy. She told me to come get you so let’s go.”

Buckling up in the passenger seat, he exclaimed.

“Man I hope you’re bringing me for food. I’m starving!”

All Jae could do was give a fake smile. As both of them drove further and further from Seoul, Brian knew something was wrong.

“Where are we going?”

“It’ll all make sense later I promise.”

When they ended up outside the cemetery, Brian felt like someone had stabbed him with a knife.

“What are we doing here?”

Jae simply passed him a white envelope before casting his eye downwards and Brian tore it open before reading the contents written in your neat penmanship.

 

_“Brian:_

_I know you must have tons of questions now. Why was I not at the airport? Why are you at a cemetery? It will all make sense once you get to the end of this letter but first, you have to know that this is all my doing. Whatever you feel, do not take your anger out on Jae because he has done nothing wrong. Silently promise me this in your heart. Done? Ok now here’s the real deal. For a long time I haven’t been feeling well. I get these crazy headaches and nose bleeds easily and those time when I’m not in bed beside you in the middle of the night. I wake up from the pain all over the body because they hurt so much. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know what was happening – I wrote it all off as stress which was not uncommon for me as a child growing up before I met you. It wasn’t until I collapsed while lecturing did I find out the truth – I had stage 4 cancer with 1 month left. And if you’re reading this, I’m no longer here on this earth. Which is why you’re at this cemetery now; it’s because I’m here now –_

At this point in time, he couldn’t read on anymore. With shaky breath, all he had was one last request for Jae.

“Where is she?”

“4th one down this row. I’ll be in the car.”

Jae silently exited the scene, giving his friend enough time to compose himself. Walking down, he knew what was coming but nothing could prepare him for the excruciating pain he felt when he saw your picture and name engraved in stone. Sinking to his knees, he let a cry of agony tear from his throat and he just kept doing this until the sun was going to set. He wasn’t even in control anymore; he just let his body do what it wants. Until he’s screamed his throat raw and no more tears could flow, he slumped down beside you to continue reading you letter.

 

_“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t want to ruin your chances and I didn’t want to come back only to see me suffer in pain. Please don’t blame yourself for this. There was nothing that anyone could do for me and I’m happy leaving the way I did. But even if I’m gone now, continue living ok? Don’t grieve for too long. Remember what I told you that spring night? About how in order to move forward you need to be brave and put yourself out there? I want you to do that. No matter what happens, life goes on. It will not be difficult to get your life on track. Trust me one last time, just be bold and keep greeting life. You’ll be able to let go eventually, because I taught you how. There is still so much out there to see and discover and we’ll both be watching over you always._

_Love,_

_Y/N.”_

-

Initially, it was hard to get over you. The first night he came back, it was like you had never meant to leave at all. Articles of your clothing were still strewn all over his place and his sheets still had your scent. It took him some time before he could bear to clear away your items but he did eventually. As the snow began to melt away, Brian felt brave enough to step out of his to face the world again.

_Goodbye winter, and hello spring._


	5. Hot and Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Dowoon x OC
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life
> 
> Words: 3k
> 
> Description: What is likely to happen when the hot and cold fall into a tumbling mess.

 

The big metal doors clanged shut with a large bang behind, making you wince in pain at the loud noise assaulting your sensitive nerves. The disgruntled sigh that came from your school’s security guard made you shrink, guilt crawling its way into your heart. You felt bad that you stayed so late in school and delayed the closing of the school for the school but there was some urgent student council matters to handle and being it’s president, you had no choice but to stay back and plough through the thick stack of paperwork.

_I bet the school security guard hates me now…_

As you muttered a mental apology to the school security guard, you noticed your bus zoom past your sight and that’s when the urgency of the situation hit you.

The next bus stop was 5 minutes away by foot,

The bus would reach in 2 minutes,

And that was the last bus of the night.

To make the situation worse, the rain was pounding onto the pavements mercilessly, the impact of the rain onto the ground making the small droplets rising up to your knee level. The first thought on your mind was simply to run, and that’s exactly what you did. Holding onto the contents of your backpack to make sure that they don’t fall out, you ran after the bus frantically, taking in mouthfuls of rain as you gasped for breath. Thankfully, you managed to catch the bus in time but by that time, you were soaking wet. Water droplets was literally dripping from your clothing, your hair was stuck in your face and you were coughing rather violently in an attempt to rid all that extra water from your body system. As you got onto the bus, the first sensation you were aware of was the cold. The air conditioning was on and coupled with your wet self, the entire bus felt like Antarctica to you. As the passengers threw dirty stares your way, you tried to hurry along the aisle to find a seat at the back and eventually, you slumped into the seat and curled your body, trying to conserve as much body heat as possible. As a pool of water began to form steadily around you, no one was within a three seat radius of you and you didn’t even have the energy to feel hurt or guilty anymore. All you could think of is how terribly cold you are and how much you wished you had a jacket with you now.

So of course, when someone sits down beside you, it caught your attention. Looking up, you see a familiar face. Squishy cheeks, curly dark hair and contrasting deep set eyes that always make him seem more mature than his actual years. Yoon Dowoon, the basketball star of your school, was sitting right next to you.

But that isn’t the most shocking thing.

Him giving you his jacket is.

But when he drapes his black basketball jacket over you, you don’t protest. Instead, you snuggle deeper into the warm jacket, extremely grateful for the residual heat left behind. You mumble out a weak “Thank you”, your teeth chattering so much it’s making it hard for you to speak coherently. When he shifts closer towards you, you naturally scoot away, afraid that your backpack and you are taking up too much space. But when you feel him scoot closer the second time, you start to wonder why.

_What is he doing? Is he going to try something funny? But he isn’t that type of guy right? It also doesn’t make sense for him to be nice to me and then try to harm me later._

That’s when realisation hit you.

_Oh… he’s trying to keep me warm with his body heat…_

At this point, you let your guard down, close your eyes and drift off to sleep for a little while. The next time you awake, he was gone and you had reached your stop. Your hand instinctively curled around the jacket and you held onto it tightly until you got home. That’s when you were stripped bare of all your possessions including his jacket before being sent into the hot shower by your concerned mother. You hadn’t even noticed you had brought him his jacket until your mother questioned you about it.

“Y/N are you dating?”

“What’s with that weird question? Of course not. I don’t even have time to sleep, how on earth am I supposed to find time to date?”

“Then whose jacket is this?”

“Mum what are you talking about? That is clearly mi – oh.”

The name “Y.DOWOON” and number “25” was stencilled in big white fonts at the back of his jacket.

“Who’s Dowoon, and why do you have his jacket?”

“He’s my school’s star basketball player. I was soaked just now so he lent me jacket to keep me warm. I didn’t even notice that I had brought it home. But don’t worry Mum, I swear I’m not lying and that I’m not dating him, or anyone.”

“Don’t get yourself into a twist honey. I believe you if you say so. Just got some rest now.”

You nodded your head as she left your room, the lights outside dimming as she retires for the night. As for you, you absentmindedly admire his jacket, running your hands across his name and feeling the soft fabric under your skin.

_I should probably wash this; it must be dirty from all that rain water. Let’s check if he has anything in the pockets._

Turning the pockets inside out, your fingers came into contact with the rougher surface of a piece of paper and you smoothened it out before reading the small, neat font which you assumed was Dowoon’s penmanship.

 

_I didn’t take the jacket back because you looked like you needed it more than I did. You can return it to me whenever you see me in school. Take care._

You smiled at the sweet gesture and placed it neatly on your table before proceeding to wash the jacket.

 

-

The next day in school, with the jacket in hand, you walked up to your friend whom was a fan of the school basketball team on Dowoon’s whereabouts.

“Hey Emma, do you know where the basketball team is?”

“Yea. What’s the matter though? Are you going there to cheer on a special someone?” She then wiggled her eyebrows at you before snatching the jacket out of your hands to reveal Dowoon’s jacket in front of the whole school.

“HOW DO YOU HAVE HIS JACKET? TELL ME THE TRUTH – WHAT IS GOING ON?”

You took back the jacket defensively before folding it neatly in your arms.

“Goodness Emma that was uncalled for! Can you just tell me where they are if you know? I’ll explain later.”

“Ok you better! They’re in the basketball court now playing a match. It starts at 10.10am.”

You quickly worked out the timings in your brain.

_It’s 10am now and the match starts in 10 minutes. I won’t have time to make it there in time. Should I just return it to him after the match?_

But then, you realised that was not an option. Their basketball coach focuses a lot on unity right down to their attire. It’s a school tradition for the whole school team to appear on court with their jackets on and you’ve seen what happened when someone doesn’t: they don’t get to play for the whole game. It is unreasonable, yes, but an issue that is out of your control as well.

_I can’t make him lose his opportunity to play; I got to get this to him now!_

Without thinking much, you pushed past students to reach the basketball court before you missed your window of opportunity. When you got the basketball court, the team was just making their way onto court and you could easily spot Dowoon amongst the crowd, he was the only one without his jacket. Even down sweat was dripping down your back and every muscle on your body was on fire due to your sudden outburst of running, you simply charged forward whilst calling out his name.

“Dowoon! Wait!”

The male snapped his head to look at you and you tried to stop yourself before reaching him but as luck would have it, the floor was too slippery and you ended up colliding into him before both of you collapsed onto the floor. He broke your fall and his back took most of the impact, which means that you were now lying directly on top of him.

In front of a crowd of thousands of students and teachers.

Your day had quickly gone from hero to zero as the entire court hushed, all pairs of eyes on the both of you.

The predicament caused you to freeze in place; you had never been this physically close to a male before and you didn’t know what to do. For a brief moment, you were aware of his gaze upon your eyes, his breath fanning across your lips and his strong arms on your back.

“Are you ok?”

“Yea I’m fine! Oh gosh I’m so sorry Dowoon, are you hurt?”

“No I’m fine.”

You quickly got off him and helped him up before actually doing what you came to do.

“Here, your jacket. Thank you for last night and eh… good luck for the match!”

“Thank you.” He took the jacket and slipped it on and once you were satisfied with what you were seeing, you dashed out of the basketball court, semi hiding your face in your hands as you did. Dowoon watched you as you left the place, shaking his head a little at how goofy you were before taking his place amongst his teammates

-

In the locker room, his teammates began to question him about that little incident.

“Hey Dowoon, what’s up with you and the Council President?”

Wanting to let these events remain private to only you and him, he merely shook his head before pulling the hood over his head. Realising that the jacket smelled like you, he smiled a little to himself picturing your flustered look just now. Plus point: You smell like peaches, which also happened to be his favourite fruit.

\---

You paced outside the basketball court nervously, rehearsing your apology to Dowoon over and over in your head. Just then, you could the gym doors swing open as hollering of the basketball team became louder. Not wanting to seem too obvious, you pretended to look at some posters but judging from the snickering and chorus of 'Dowoon~' coming from the boys, your presence had not gone unnoticed by the basketballers. Finally, the person you had been waiting for finally appeared from the gym room.

"Hey Dowoon."

"Oh? Hello President, what brings you here?"

"Oh please don't call me that. Just Y/N will do."

I know your name Y/N, I just wanted to mess with you.

"Alright then. But what brings you here?"

"I came to apologise. I'm sorry about the whole jacket incident, I hope you didn't get scolded too badly by your coach for that."

"No worries about that. He wasn't here today anyways."

Upon hearing that piece of news, you breathed a visible sigh of relief, glad that he didn't have to pay because of you.

"But I appreciate that you rushed to give it back. Thank you."

You don't know why, but his sweet words caused your cheeks to become warmer and you wanted to get away before the whole situation became more embarrassing.

"Let's get back to class before we're late. Shall we?"

He nodded his head and you were about to open your mouth to congratulate him on winning the game when you heard him grunt behind you. Turning back, his face had morphed into one of grimace and he was supporting his lower back.

"Dowoon? What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Keep walking."

But it was evident that he had problems walking and that he needed to pay a visit to the infirmary. Placing his arms over your shoulders and supporting his waist with your other hand, both of you took baby steps till you reached the infirmary.  Taking a look at both of you, the nurse said something about how his regular customer was back and Dowoon simply smiled sheepishly. You watched silently as he worked on Dowoon's back until he lifted up his shirt to get a better view of his back. Shocked at the huge amount of skin exposure, you averted your virgin eyes and hid behind the curtain so that you wouldn't have to see anything that was happening. But even from behind the curtains, you could hear their conversation.

"This is a really bad back injury Dowoon, what did you do?"

"Eh... I fell before the game just now and then played the full game. There was no pain until after the game so it wasn't like I internationally made the injury worse."

"Well, I got to keep you here all day. Don't think you should be sitting in a chair for hours straight with your back in this state."

You could hear a chair being pushed back before the curtains were pushed back to reveal a topless Dowoon. You rushed to avert your eyes; you were not used to seeing so much skin from a guy. Noticing your embarrassment, he quickly laid his jacket over himself before deciding to tease you more.

“First time seeing a guy topless?”

“No…but first time seeing one so up close, yes…”

“What an innocent Council President.”

“Geez, stop rubbing it in! And for the last time, it’s Y/N, not Council President.”

You then picked at your fingernails nervously, mentally building up your apology to him once again. But he vocalised your thoughts for you.

“Are you thinking about how to apologise for hurting my back?”

A nod.

“Just come watch me at the basketball finals.”

That was quite a simple request so you readily agreed.

When it happened, it caused your breath to catch in your throat. For the first time in history, Yoon Dowoon was smiling. And he was smiling for you.

-

From that day onwards, you hung out more with Dowoon. Rooftop lunches became a thing and on days that he didn’t have training, he’ll stay back in school with you to study. Initially, he was rather hopeless at being studious but with your encouragement, he gradually got better at it. You liked Dowoon better during these times when he was alone with you. He was less serious and always had a smile or some cute antics ready for you. He looked more carefree, without seeming like he had the burden of the world crushing him. You also discovered his secret talent: Drums! Soon, Dowoon became your friend and he also found that he had a great supporter.

Occasionally, you’ll drop in on basketball trainings and watch him play, tolerating even the worst of teases from the rest of the basketball team. When his coach wasn’t paying attention to the senior team, he’ll sit down beside on the benches to talk to you.

Tossing  his water bottle to him, he caught it with an expert hand before jogging his way up the benches to sit down beside you.

“That was a really good attack just now.”

“Thanks, I’ve been trying to master that move for some time now.”

“I would confidently say that you’ve gotten it.”

Upon hearing your compliment, he blushed, making his cheeks turn even redder than they already were from before. That was also one of the things that only you can do: make the almighty school star Yoon Dowoon blush.

“Thanks…”

“Oh I think you better get back. Your coach is walking back.”

“Yup gotta go. See you soon!”

It happened so quickly you didn’t even fully register the situation until he was back on court. All you remember was feeling something soft press against your left cheek. You only made the grand realisation a few minutes later.

_He just kissed me on the cheek._

-

The grand day finally came. Stepping on court, the deafening roars of the crowd surrounded you from all corners and you had to keep your head low to be physically away from the noise. Squeezing your way through the crowd of excited and wild schoolmates, you finally found your seat in the first way, sitting there as Dowoon had requested for you to. From behind you, the cheers got so much louder you thought the glass was going to break. Turning in front, you found the main source of affection. Your school’s basketball team had finally stepped on court and you waved to catch Dowoon’s attention before flashing him a thumbs up sign. Ever so slightly, he smiled, but only for you.

The horn blaring signalled the start of the game and from the very beginning, the game heated up so much. Throughout the entire game, both teams refused to budge and the lasers shooting out of their eyes suggested a vicious will to kill just to win the game. Very soon, Dowoon was singled out as the star player and every opponent had set their eyes on him but that was also the exact trap they fell into. By choosing to disregard the rest, the rest of the basketball team was open and shoots were very easily made.

By the end of the game, Dowoon was battered and bruised but very happy indeed. Running up to you, you expected to greet him with a smile and hug but instead, he went straight for your lips and when the crowd finally noticed, the entire place fell into a hushed silence until he pulled away to whisper to you the three precious words.

“I love you Y/N.”

“I love you too Dowoon… and good game just now.”

Needless to say, the Council President and star basketball player became the most talked-about couple in the entire school for a long time.


	6. Slowly, Quietly, Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jae x You
> 
> Genre: 50% fluff, 29% slice of life, 10% romance, 10% humour (or so I hope), 1% angst
> 
> Words: 4.1k
> 
> Description: roommate!jae AU

 

The first thing you noticed was the shoes. There was not a single pair that was matched – the most intriguing one had to be the pair of flip flops, one black and one white.

_This shoe size is really big; it’s almost twice of mine._

Closely the door silently behind you, you observed the space quietly. To your left, there was a kitchen with an island counter top. It looked clean, but you suspect it’s because nothing ever been done in that space. The space right in front of you was the living room and by a corner of the wall, you found an electric and acoustic guitar, the earth tones of both complementing one another. Down the hallway on your right, you found two rooms on the left, the first was occupied and the second was not, automatically making that your room. The space was clean and cosy; just like how you liked it. You decided that the first order of matters would be to unpack. Heading to the bathroom with your toiletries in hand, you found male cleaning products lining the entire place from shampoos to shaving cream.

_Calm down Y/N, don’t be silly. You can’t possibly be rooming with a male. Maybe she just has a preference for male products? Anything’s possible right?_

And yes indeed, anything was possible.

Before you could do anything else, a voice came from behind you.

“Excuse me, who are you?”

“Hi, I’m – ”

You didn’t manage to complete your sentence, simply because your suspicions have been confirmed.

You were staring back at a topless male with a sleepy look on his face that suggested you were conversing with someone that was not fully functional yet. Reality had just slapped you in the face. Your roommate was really going to be a male. That was when you let a scream tear from your throat and all hell had broken loose. 

-

After much screaming back and forth, here you were seated on the couch in the living room with said male sitting on the floor in front of you with some clothes on. Even then, he was almost at your eye level. 

_He's so ridiculously tall it's unfair._

After an intense staring game, he finally broke the silence. 

"I'm Jae what's good?" He then stuck out his hand, which you took. 

"Y/N"

"So tell me what you're doing in my apartment again?" 

"You mean OUR apartment. As I have so kindly mentioned 10 times before, I am your new roommate." 

He then let out a scoff, which you took to great offense. 

"I must be dreaming." Jae then closed his eyes, pinched his arms before opening his eyes again.

"Surprise Jae! I'm not gone yet and you're not dreaming."

You then crossed your arms as you watched him groan. 

"There must be some mistake!"

"I would like to think so too, but unfortunately no."

"I'm going to be stuck with you? Lord have mercy." 

"I think I should be the one saying that. Let's just strike a deal ok? It's really simple: just keep this place liveable and I'll leave you alone. Deal?" 

"Deal."

But of course, you can't trust the devil when you make a deal with him.

 

Jae was an absolute pain to live with. It was almost as if he made it his personal life goal to make your life a living nightmare. There was not a single day when you could be spared from his teasing or torture.

 

“Jae, where's the coffee sachets?”

"On the top shelf."

“Goddamnit.”

"Good luck reaching it shortie."

 

“Stop walking around the apartment topless!”

“Why? Can’t deal with a little hotness sweetie?”

“Don’t make me stab you with my fork.”

“Feisty~” He then threw you a wink, causing you to lose all your appetite.

 

“You used all my soap.”

“Of course I did, they smelled so good.”

“I just bought this huge bottle last week and it’s all gone now!”

“That cannot be helped; taller people naturally have bigger bodies that require more soap. Besides, sharing is caring.”

 

“What is that sack that you’re wearing? You look like a grandma from the 50s!”

“It’s just an oversized shirt! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH IT?”

 

“CASTLE ON THE HILL!” Shouts of pop lyrics would be followed by the aggressive strumming of Jae’s guitar next door, causing you to slam your pillow over your ears in a futile attempt to block out his singing. It was taking you all your willpower to not go over and strangle him.

 

No matter what you did, Jae would always have a sarcastic, unsolicited comment hanging on his lips to be hurtled at you later. He was out for blood and you were wearing thin.

 

Today had been a terrible day. First of all, your alarm didn’t go off, causing you to be late for your lecture. By the time you got there, it was over, causing you to get an earful from your lecturer. In the next class, you found out that you got a failing grade on an important assessment for the most ridiculous reason: your lecturer didn’t like what you had written. You were, of course, frustrated but you knew better than to argue with her. You had also gotten a call from your mother saying that your grandfather had a really bad fall and was now in the hospital. And for the last cherry on top, someone had to spill coffee over your new white shirt. The series of misfortune that continuously wrecked your day finally spilled out and you had spent a good half an hour stuck in the washroom trying to wash off the stains before breaking down into tears.

_Why do I always have such bad luck? First I get a shitty roommate and then now I also have to deal with this nonsense!_

Another half an hour was then spent crying. By the time you were done, you dragged your tired body back to the apartment, praying with all your might that Jae would not be there so that you could be spared. Of course, no such luck. He was sitting on the couch strumming his guitar when he caught sight of you, launching into another verbal assault.

“Gosh you look horrible, like some ugly fish.”

And, _that_ was the end of your fuse.

“Yea I get it Jae, I GET IT! I’m ugly, short, incompetent! I am a mixture of all these undesirable things in the world… but I…” By now you were choking on your words from all the tears threatening to spill over and behind that blurry screen you could see Jae’s shocked face; he had finally realised the severity of the situation. The last part of your sentence came out as a whisper, your vulnerability showing through the crack.

“But I don’t need to be reminded of it daily, it hurts, it really hurts”

Turning around, you slammed the door on your way out and for the rest of the night, you spent it at a 24 hour café where Brian had found you.

“Oh Y/N? What are you doing here so late at night?”

Sweet Brian. You knew him from business lessons and he was an absolute joy to be around. Both of you had quickly became friends and you also found out that he was the bassist for the band DAY6 which Jae was also a part of.

“Hi Brian. I’m working on some urgent assignment.”

“Is Jae being too noisy again?”

“No, I just wanted a new place to work on things to think better.”

“Ah~ We’re actually having a gig at Evening Luna tomorrow, do you want to come and hear us play? He’s actually a pretty decent guy when he plays the guitar; I don’t know why he’s such a prick to you.”

_I would love to hear you guys play but I don’t want to face Jae so soon…_

“I can’t… I’m really sorry Brian.”

“Oh… it’s alright then, there’s always another time! Also, are you ok? Did Jae upset you very badly?”

“It’s... I had a really terrible day. Both academic and family problems are coming at me from both sides and I just need some time away from that apartment and our school grounds in general. But, I’ll be fine I guarantee.”

“Ok, I respect your space. Well, you have my number; call me if you ever need someone to talk to. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

You waved as he left the café, wondering why Jae can’t be half as nice as Brian is.

 

The next day before the gig, Brian confronted Jae about you.

“What did you do to Y/N Jae? She looked really miserable last night you know?”

“I didn’t do anything to her!”

“Well then, I guess she finally snapped. I don’t know what you’ve been doing to her, but I don’t think she deserves that sort of treatment from you. You should apologise if you know you’ve done something wrong.”

That night, Jae left you your favourite strawberry cheesecake in the fridge (courtesy to Brian) with a note saying “I’m sorry – Jae” attached to it.

The next day, the cake was gone and so was the note, and Jae knew he had been forgiven.

-

Since then, your relationship with Jae has significantly improved. He stopped annoying you and sometimes you’ll have breakfast together. It was during these moments where you began to unravel the real Jae; the one that had brilliant thoughts to share and a cute infectious laugh. The first time you asked him to play a song for you, he seemed rather unwilling but after much spurring from you, he had finally agreed.

“What song do you want me to play?”

“Better Man.”

“Why do you want to hear that song?”

“Just because… it’s something coming from you, it’s your own story. I want to hear that.”

“Ok then. Be honoured because I’m playing this for the first time live, and it’s for you only.”

“Ok Jae.”

Testing out the strings first, he then started singing and you watched him with a smile of your face. He does this thing where he enters this special zone when he’s performing and you like watching him when he does it. He becomes a different man entirely – a little softer around the edges and his voice seems so much more soulful as compared to his peals of laughter.

“Stop staring at me and focus on the song instead Y/N.”

“I like watching you sing, it’s really nice… and thank you Jae.”

Jae’s singing would soon become the remedy for your sadness or stress. It had gotten to a point where you didn’t even have to ask; the moment he saw your deflated shoulders, he would play till he saw a smile on your face. Dropping by on their band practises became common too and you’ve never missed a single gig of theirs. Once, on his birthday, you were challenged to make a board for him to show your support for him. Jae was sure that you were never going to do that but you really did and as embarrassing as it was, Jae was smiling a little wider throughout that night as they rocked out at the gig. Taking a little tour around the city on foot with him later, he’d let his true feelings show.

“I didn’t actually think you’ll do it.”

“Why would I not? Besides, it was a challenge and I’m never one to lose.”

“But seriously though, thank you for doing it.”

“You’re welcome roommie.”

“Tonight’s a good night isn’t it?”

“Hmmm?”

“The gig. The ice cream we’re having now. Me and you talking normally without trying to kill one another. This is all a nice change.”

“It is. Let’s keep it up?” You held out your fist and he gladly fistbumped you. Under the cool summer night, Jae finally saw the beauty behind you.

Was it just his imagination, or does his heart speed up a little whenever he sees you now?

-

“Jae? What are you doing here?”

“Hi Y/N.”

His voice came out as a croak and the next second he was a coughing mess.

“Looks like someone is not going to be singing anytime soon~”

“Shut up, you’re not making me feel better.”

“Just kidding, do you need anything?”

“Maybe some hot water.”

“Coming right up!”

For the entire weekend, Jae was stuck in bed with a fever, leaving you to upkeep the entire apartment on top of rushing out assignments. You were worried about both and you kept muttering under your breath about deadlines. You rushed around the house so much that it was making Jae dizzy and finally on Sunday evening, he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Y/N stop worrying! Not doing the laundry today wouldn’t matter.”

“Ok…and erm…what are you doing?”

In his hazy mind that was still clouded by the medication, he didn’t understand the purpose of your question until he realised what he was doing. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder and his head was directly beside yours as he pulled you into his chest to restrain your arms. He was, essentially, backhugging you.

“Oh I’m sorry… ahem…”

“It’s ok…”

“I’ll go back to my room.”

“Ok.”

He then made a dash for his room as you turned as red as a tomato.

-

Winter break came by but neither of you were going home. So this holiday, it was just you and Jae. Everything was going fine until the heating went off in your apartment.

“Work.You.Cranky.Machine!” With every word, you slammed your palm onto the heater. It whirred for a little while before sending a puff of dust into your face, as though it was mocking you.

“Just leave it Y/N, it’s not going to work.”

“Can’t we call services?”

“Not gonna happen, you require school approval but the student services centre is closed on weekends.”

“Great, now we will freeze to death over the next 2 days with this thick snow falling outside.”

“We won’t, relax. Let’s just bundle up more.”

 

Bundling up that night like he said, you snuggled into the warm duvets until you felt your bed dip beside you. Turning around, you found that a certain someone had gotten into bed with you.

“Jae what are you doing?”

“Getting more heat.”

“What?”

“Look Y/N, it’s cold, really cold. I don’t think I can sleep without any extra warmth. Let’s just share the bed to keep warm for tonight ok? I’ll put a pillow between the both of us for your protection.”

A pillow was then wedged between the both of you and with your backs facing one another, you drifted off to sleep.

 

The next morning, for some odd reason, the pillow was gone and when Jae woke up, he was facing you instead. The first thing that came to his mind was:

_Wow she’s really adorable when she sleeps. And she frowns even in her sleep? Cute._

Jae watched for a few moments in silence at how you’ve squeezed your eyes shut and the way lines formed on your forehead before he smoothed his thumb over the lines and your eyes. Responding to his touches, you relaxed your facial features in your sleep and he chucked a little at your reaction. In the spur of the moment, he leaned forward to kiss your temple and when he pulled back, he found that you were now wide awake.

“Morning.”

“Morning Jae.”

By now, he was furiously wishing that you hadn’t noticed what he had done but it was too late, you were well aware of it even though you didn’t voice it out.

“I’m going to wash up first so that we don’t have to argue over the washroom later.” Throwing the covers over yourself, you bolted from your room and for the rest of the day, you tried to expel conspiracy theories of what his actions meant from your head. You were sure he didn’t see you in _that_ way.

-

Things returned to normal the next few days with the heater finally working again and both of you were thinking about what to do for Christmas when you pitched your idea to him.

“Hey, ever been to an orphanage before?”

“Nope. Why’d do you ask?”

“I volunteer at one regularly and we could go down on Christmas Day to do something for the kids. You know, since we’ve got nothing to do on that day either. You can bring your guitar and play for the kids, I’m sure they’ll love it.”

“I’m in, let’s get it!”

That Christmas night, both of you spent time interacting with the kids and all of them immediately fell for Jae. They were all ears when he started playing and when he was done playing; they all erupted into cheers and called for an encore, which he gladly gave. For the next 2 hours, he had a karaoke session with the kids and even you sang during the last 30 minutes. Your initial fears of him not liking the kids were immediately dispelled when you saw how gentle he was with them.

 

One particular incident stood out to you. 2 year old Ella had crept up on Jae and began pulling on Jae’s face to vie for his attention. You were about to run over to pull her off him when he beat you to it. From a few feet away, you could see him gently picking her up with a smile on his face and when she began to make bubbly faces at him, he returned the favour by pulling silly faces and tickling her by her sides. The sight was shocking to you nonetheless. She was notorious for having a temper: she wouldn’t let anyone else hold her except you and some other staff members. The fact that she readily went up to Jae for his affection left you staring at the sight in awe and the beams shining off Jae’s face really made your heart swell. He was putting in so much effort to make the kids happy and you were genuinely touched.

 

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For making the kids happy. I haven’t seen them so happy in the long time and I think the credit has to go to you.”

“Nah the kids were the real gems. Bring me over more next time; I’ll love to see them again.”

“Sure thing.”

Smiling, you began to think about what a great dad he would make.

_I just found another reason to love this man; I’m sinking deeper and deeper, Lord help…_

-

Jae wasn’t looking for trouble at all, trouble found him instead. Over the past few months, he had become fiercely protective of you anything or anyone else that said otherwise didn’t sit well with him. So of course, when he heard someone making rude comments about you, it got him all riled up.

“What did you say about her?”

“You have a problem with it Jae?”

“Yea I have a big problem with it, lay off her.”

“How about you mind your own business instead?” That’s when the first punch landed on his stomach and all hell broke loose.

 

“Y/N! Help me out here!” The frantic tone in Brian’s voice caused you to rush out of your room and the sight of all of them bruised and battered made you gasp. Jae was looking the worst with blood seeping out of little cuts in his face and hands.

“What happened?”

“He got into a fight with someone then the punches began to fly.”

“Getting into a fight? He’ll never do that unless he’s been provoked.”

“Yea he was. Someone made some rude comment about you and then he just got so mad.”

“Why would he do that?”

“You can interrogate him when he’s conscious. I think I better get some ice on my cheek before it swells more.”

“Thank you for bringing him back.”

“Don’t worry; we’re not going to let him die.”

With that, the other four left the apartment, leaving you to deal with Jae.

“Jae can you hear me?”

“Yea.”

“Where are you hurt that I can’t see?”

“My stomach.”

“Ok, can you get out of that shirt on your own? I’ll go get the first aid kit.”

By the time you came back, Jae was leaning back against the sofa topless, revealing the huge ugly bruise on the left side of his stomach. Standing on the ground between his legs, you began to clean his facial wounds.

“You idiot, why did you get into a fight?”

“Do you want to know why?” He was now staring at you with a giddy smile on his face, the alcohol making its appearance.

“I know why you idiot, because of me. I’m asking you why you couldn’t have just walked away; you didn’t have to fight them.”

“Can I ask you a question Y/N?”

“Go ahead.”

“Have you ever seen a man that didn’t protect the girl he loves?”

“No.”

“Then there’s your answer. I love you Y/N, that’s why I fought for you.” Your hands stilled in their ministrations, your ears not believing what they were hearing.

“What?”

“I said I love you Y/N.”

“You’re drunk Jae, you don’t understand what you’re saying now.”

“I’m not.”

“Just hold still and let me finish this ok?”

“Ok.” True to his word, he lay still as you picked up from where you left off, trying to forget what he just said to you and ignoring the close proximity between you and him. You then sent him off to bed as you entered a sleepless night, his words playing over, and over, and over again in your mind.

 

When you woke up the next morning, you were surprised that he was up. He was leaning against the counter sipping on some coffee when you saw him.

“Oh you’re awake. I thought you’d be resting.”

“The ache woke me up.”

“We’ve got some painkillers.”

“I already took them.”

“Ok.” You then walked around the entire kitchen making your own cup of coffee, refusing to look at him and trying not to squirm under his watchful eye. Cup in hand, you were about to make your way to your room before his words stopped you.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said those words to you last night.”

“I…I didn’t think you’d remember.” You absent-mindedly stirred your coffee as you looked him in the eye properly. When you didn’t see that glint of mischief, you knew he was being real.

“I do remember Y/N, and I did mean what I said.” Crossing the space between the both of you, he removed the cup from your hands before replacing the warmth of the coffee with his own hands.

“Over time you had silently crept into my heart and before I knew it you were already living there. Being mean to you before was me trying to block out my feelings for you but ultimately it didn’t work. I might have been drunk last night, sure, but I clearly remember looking up into your face as you patched me up when I said those words. In case you still don’t believe me I’ll say it one more time: I love you Y/N, I really do.”

Very slowly, he brought his lips down to meet yours and that’s when you closed your eyes and surrendered your heart to him. Apart from the coolness of the stainless steel fridge on your back, all you could register was the feeling of his lips on yours. They were soft, sweet and perfect for you. Everything was going fine until you placed a hand on his face.

“Ouch Y/N! That was a bruise!” Even though he was in pain, he was still laughing and that’s when you laughed along with him.

“I’m so sorry Jae oh my – ”

Catching you off guard, he gave you a quick peck on your lips before pulling back.

“Thank goodness my lips aren’t bruised, if not I won’t be able to kiss you even if I wanted to.”

“Stop it geez!”

“What? Am I not allowed to kiss my girl?”

“Excuse me Mister; I’m sure I haven’t said yes yet.”

“Judging by the way you were so hungry for my lips just now, I’d take that as a yes.”

“Just shut up and kiss me already.”

Bringing his lips to yours once again, both of you indulged in the moment. Just you and him, raw and in love with one another.


	7. Box Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Dowoon x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, romance
> 
> Words: 2.2k
> 
> Description: boxer!dowoon AU

 

Stepping into the huge warehouse, Dowoon took in time to absorb his surroundings. Fighting equipment of all sorts filled the entire place. To his immediate right and left, sandbags lined the entire area and every sandbag was occupied by someone that was currently punching each punching bag left, right, front centre. In left corner by the back, there was a huge area for hand to hand sparring. Grunts of frustration and pain can be heard from that area as people got thrown around like rag dolls. In the right corner by the back, there was an area cordoned off for martial arts training. People can been seen jumping around holding sticks and dressed in traditional martial arts combat attire. Right in the centre, there was a large boxing circle. Currently there were 3 males and 1 female getting ready to enter the ring; what the female was doing there remained a mystery to Dowoon. Boxing was definitely separated by gender and weight class. She was easily 2 to 3 times lighter than them.

_Good luck fighting them, I hope she’s doesn’t pass out._

Just as the fight was about to begin, Dowoon was called away by someone.

 “I’m assuming you’re Dowoon.” A middle-aged man with a bald shaven head stuck out his hand which Dowoon took. He gave a very strong and firm handshake and Dowoon knew right there and then that he was someone that should not be messed with.

“Yes sir, I’m Yoon Dowoon.”

“Good to finally see you; heard a lot about you and your achievements. Runner up in light weight boxing, black belt in all forms of martial arts and the list goes on. All you’re missing is being World Champion in light weight boxing.”

“Yes, that’s why I’m here to train.”

 “Let’s put you to the test then. See that lady in the ring? You’ll be fighting her later.”

“I don’t fight girls.”

“She’s no ordinary girl, believe me.  Watch and see for yourself.”

Turning his attention to the boxing ring, Dowoon began to focus his attention on you. He watched at first to figure out your fighting style but eventually gave up because you didn’t stick to one – what he saw was a mixture of tactics, making it nearly impossible for him to predict your next move. You were fast and sparing with your energy – you successfully avoided all their punches and you took down all of them easily by targeting vital points that brought the most pain to them.  At the end of it, you were the last one standing victorious as the other 3 lay groaning in pain around you. You locked eyes with Dowoon and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t intimidated by you. You were the exact definition of ‘looks could kill’.

“Her name is Y/N. Best fighter I ever had.”

“She’s really good I admit but how come I’ve never seen her at championships before?”

“She doesn’t want to fight competitively – she trains out of passion and she prefers to coach instead. All my medallists have been under her wing before.”

“I can see why.”

“Come with me.” The man then guided Dowoon towards the ring before asking him to get ready.

“We’ll decide how your training should proceed after fighting her. Good luck.”

“Thanks, I probably need it.”

Bouncing lightly on his feet to get the blood flowing in his limbs, Dowoon watched as you sized him up and immediately felt that small fire of anger burning in him.

“Any last words from the competitors?”

“I never thought I’d be seeing the legendary Yoon Dowoon here. Don’t go easy on me.”

“Sure thing Y/N.”

The whistle beeped and Dowoon wasted no time in attempting to land the first punch, which was his first mistake. Leaning towards the left, you easily dodged his punch and instead ducked low to land a strong one on his stomach. It was so strong that it knocked the wind out of him but thank goodness he wasn’t knocked to the ground. You were still poised and ready to attack. Charging forward with fury, Dowoon tricked you into thinking that he was aiming for your stomach so when you stooped low once again, he rose to land a hard punch on your right shoulder. You could feel the pain and you were sure that it would leave a nasty bruise later on. You staggered forward but even the immense pain could not stop your drive to destroy him. He had broken your clean record of not having let someone ever landing a punch on you – and you were going to kill him for that. Whipping around, you stuck your leg out to trip him and he landed face first with a loud thud on the floor. Taking advantage of his open position, you used your leg to immobilise his lower body before using your body weight to pin his upper body to the ground before holding him in the chokehold. After 5 seconds, you were announced the winner without a doubt. Dowoon was still coughing and massaging his throat after your strong chokehold; he was also in utter disbelief at your strength and skill – never has he ever, been defeated by a female, and so badly at that. All he managed to get was one punch in when usually he’ll be leaving his opponents completely crumpled and defeated. But out the corner of his eye, he could see you standing tall and proud, looking ready to take on another 10 more men.

“Excellent job. Now both of you should get some ice on these bruises.”

Nodding both of you exited the ring before you took Dowoon to the second level where fighters get treated for injuries.

“Here. Ice the one on the stomach.”

“Thanks.” He caught as you tossed him the ice pack before he gingerly placed the ice pack on the bruise, letting out a small sigh as the coolness of the pack eased the burning pain.

“That was a really good fight just now – I look forward to training with you.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic now.”

“I’m serious! Besides, I don’t praise people often so I mean it when I say you’re good.”

“Thanks. You’re good too – don’t think I’ve ever seen a female fighter this strong. It’s a pity you don’t compete competitively.”

“I don’t like the blood thirst that goes on there. I’m quite content staying like this.”

“Well, you do have a point.”

Before you could reply, the door then burst open before revealing the man from before.

“Dowoon from now on you’ll be training with her.”

-

Training has never been this tough for Dowoon. You had put him under a strict regimen with the championships only 3 months away. You had imposed a diet on him to ensure that he maintains his weight in order for him to qualify for that weight class. Every morning started with jogs around the compound and weights training, afternoons were reserved for teaching advanced techniques and night was one-on-one sparring. In the beginning you had gotten your best fighters to spar with him but he proved that they were no match for him. Eventually, nights had become one-on-one sparring with you only. Dowoon enjoyed the night sessions the most – that was when the entire place was quiet and he could focus solely on training. But gradually, Dowoon found that he had something else to focus on: you. Spending so much time with you daily, it was impossible for him to deny that pull towards you that was only getting stronger and stronger with each passing day. You were a very admirable lady with certain qualities that he really liked but now was certainly not the time to be infatuated with you.

Before he even knew what was happening, he had landed on his back and you were directly on top of him now. You weren’t smiling though, in fact, you were snarling at him.

“FOCUS Dowoon! What wrong with you these days? You’re such easy prey – you’d be gone by now if this was the real thing!”

His next words came out as a whisper, so soft that if you weren’t paying attention to him you wouldn’t have caught them at all.

“You’re beautiful Y/N.”

Thrown off by his words, you’d let your attention slip and by the time you noticed the shift in the glint in his eyes, he had already changed your position – now you were hopelessly pinned to the ground as he stared at you from his position above. You fought to push him off, assuming that he was back in the game now.

“Stop fighting me Y/N, I’ve stopped fighting you a long ago.”

You stilled your hands – it was clear that this session had taken a different purpose now.

“What are you doing now?”

“I’m sorry for being so distracted these days Y/N but my heart just races when I see you and I can’t seem to focus on anything except you. I guess this is what people call love huh?”

“Yoon Dowoon, are you confessing to me right now?”

“I suppose you could put it that way… I love you Y/N, I really do.”

By now, you were in absolute disbelief. Was someone actually reciprocating your feelings now? You have a love-hate relationship with Dowoon since the very beginning. You hated him for obvious reasons: he was good at what he does and he proved to be real competition to you. And you hated that about him – you just couldn’t stop the competitive streak in you. But it took you some time before you realised you loved him. You admired his determination – despite getting bruised all over from the day before, he still showed up and gave his best. In his downtime, instead of resting, he’ll help out other fighters. Slowly, he crept into your heart. Was it actually possible that the person you loved felt the same as you did?

His next action confirmed your thoughts. Lowering his head, your lips connected softly. He was unexpectedly gentle for such a fierce fighter and you found another part to love about him. When he pulled away, you were left breathless.

For the first time in your life, you gave up something without a fight.

Your heart.

-

On the day of the championships, you were seated at the back row with your hood drawn up so that Dowoon wouldn’t see you. He had easily cleared the preliminaries and semi-finals and was once again, one of the crowd favourites to win the championships.

_Go Dowoon, you can do it._

They started the match with the crowd’s cheering and the blow of the whistle. His opponent had the tendency to strike first and Dowoon was doing well avoiding him like you taught him. But you realised that it wasn’t working and that was his opponent’s tactic – wearing Dowoon down slowly before making the real strike. By the time you realised this, his opponent had landed a punch on Dowoon’s ribs and judging by the sound, you suspect something had cracked. Thrown off by the pain, he lost focus and that’s when his opponent successfully rained punches on him until he was beaten to the ground, effectively losing the first round out of three. Running forward, you caught Dowoon as he exited the ring.

“Dowoon! Can you still fight?”

“Yes.”

“Good, put a patch over your ribs first. Listen, I’ve figured out his tactics. He’s distracting you to wear you down so don’t fall for it later. Go for the first strike and aim for vital points. Conserve your energy. Do not let him get above you – you might not be able to throw him off. Lastly, stay unpredictable and throw in every style you know. You got this ok?”

“Got it Y/N, thanks.”

“Dowoon wait.”

Bravely, you stepped forward to give him a kiss on the cheek before sending him off the ring and heading back to your seat.

_I hope I did the right thing – that should fuel him._

It did indeed. Dowoon did as you said and won the next two rounds with ease. He got a few nasty punches in but that didn’t matter with his opponent lying on the ground next to him by the end of it all.

Yoon Dowoon was officially the newest champion of the World Championship for Lightweight boxing.

-

A week later, once he had healed fully from his injuries, Dowoon and you took a slow walk around the Christmas market, admiring the sights and food. Fairy lights decorated each stall and with the snow falling to give the entire place a dreamy feel, Dowoon felt certain tonight was the night.

“Hey Y/N, let’s get a log cake for dessert?”

“Sure.”

“Sit here, I’ll be right back.”

You nodded as he dashed off. Watching him, you saw him whisper into the ears of the cashier before running back to join you.

“What did you tell him?”

“You’ll see later.”

“Ok then.”

Moments later, the log cake was presented to you and that’s when you noticed the words on it: “ **Y/N, will you be my girl?”**

“So this was that it was all about.”

“Yup. And your answer is?”

With lightning speed, you leaned forward to peck him on the lips before digging into the cake. He broke out into a shy grin at your response, positive that that meant ‘yes’.

Tonight, he was feeling extremely accomplished – a world champion and your boyfriend.


	8. When You're Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Wonpil x You
> 
> Genre: angst, slice of life
> 
> Words: 1.9k
> 
> Description: Based off and ‘I Would’ and ‘Goodbye Winter’ with a hint of ‘I Smile’

 

Even after so many years, you still leave him breathless when he sees you. Even after so many years, every meeting felt like seeing you for the first time, the wild emotion called joy thundering madly in his chest. Even after so many years, he still loves you and he will till eternity.

You were stunning as always, but even more so today in the white get-up. He thought you looked like a princess – your big skirt was styled in tiers and your halter bodice was intricately designed with lace, making you look soft and royal at the same time. He remembered the times when you used to tell him about your dream wedding dress and today, you were wearing the one that both you and he had envisioned. He’d always known that you would look perfect – and you did.

“Hi Wonpil, thanks for coming today. I didn’t know if you would actually come…”

“You called me first after so long and I don’t think I could ever say no to that.”

He then tore his gaze from your eyes, worried that you’ll see that he still misses you. As much as he does, he will continue to smile for you today. Attempting his best, he schooled his features and looked you in the eye again. Mustering his courage again, he said the simple words that he hadn’t had the chances to say in such a long time.

“You looked gorgeous tonight Y/N.”

“Thank you.”

You then smiled at him, letting your eyes drop a little out of shyness. He recognises the curve of your lips very well – they were the ones that used to touch his own.

_You still have the same pretty smile. You’re still the same._

He smiles back at you but behind that loving smile he was hiding something – he was hiding a whole sea of regret and sorrow. Tonight, you won’t be walking down the aisle towards him. Tonight, he will watch as you marry someone else, someone that wasn’t him. Tonight, he will lose you forever. How did this even all happen? That stabbing pain in his chest refused to be ignored and memories of your time together washed over him like a tidal wave.

-

_“Hey babe.”_

_You wrapped your arms around Wonpil’s neck but he was unresponsive. His eyes were glued to the piece of paper in front of him as he scratched out words – lyrics that were absolutely unsatisfactory to him. You hung onto him for a few more minutes, hoping he would say something to acknowledge your presence._

_But nothing came. All you could hear was his ragged breathing and furious scratching._

_“Wonpil, aren’t you going to… at least say something? I’ve been standing here for so long.”_

_He didn’t even bother looking at you before his hot words hit you._

_“Look Y/N I’m busy now. You don’t have to bother about me. Just go do your things.”_

_“Ok then, could you at least tell me what you want for dinner? I’ll make it for you.”_

_“Anything is fine.”_

_You then backed away silently to the kitchen, busying yourself by preparing dinner for both of you._

_“Wonpil, food’s ready. Do you want to come and eat?”_

_“Just place it next to me.”_

_You then did as he said, and he merely nodded at you before focusing back on his work. You ate your dinner alone in silence before retiring to your room silently. You decided that you would let it go this time round – you didn’t have the heart to argue with him seeing how hard he was working._

_When you woke up in the middle of the night to find the spot beside you void of his warmth, you walked out to see if he was still working. You found him missing but everything else was untouched – including his dinner. In a sudden surge of anger, you dumped his dinner into the trash bin without hesitation and that was when the first tears began to sting your eyes._

_Over time, this sort of behaviour became a habit. When you came home, he would either be buried in his work or the house would be empty. Any attempts for him to spend time with you would be turned down and eventually, you stopped asking. Yet, you never stopped caring for him. You made sure he didn’t skip meals, you kept his things in place when he was too tired to clean up after working and so much more. Despite all your effort, he never once showed gratitude in any form - not even a simple thank you. He was simply too absorbed into his own work to notice anything that you did for him._

_But tomorrow was going to be different._

_“Wonpil, come back home early tomorrow.”_

_“Ok.”_

_Satisfied that you at least got some response from him, you left him to do his own things before you prepared for the special day tomorrow._

_You waited, and waited, and waited. The clock read 1am and you clutched onto your phone tightly, squeezing it so hard the screen looked like it might just crack at any moment. By now, the dinner had gone cold and the candles were all burnt out. Your eyes were stinging red from all that crying earlier and you could only stare desolately at your phone screen, hoping a certain someone’s name would light up on the screen._

_Your train of thoughts were broken by the loud slamming of the door and the moment Wonpil saw you, he had begun to yell._

_“Why did you have to call me so many times? I was in a meeting with JYP and did you know how annoying it was to have my phone screen light up so many times! I couldn’t even take notes without you notifications popping up every few minutes! Do you even think that I might be busy? Do you even care for me!”_

_“Do I ever care for you? Yes I do Kim Wonpil, I DO ALOT! I CARE FOR YOU SO MUCH THAT I’VE LOST MYSELF IN THE PROCESS!”_

_His accusations against you had made you fuming mad and for the first time, you raised your voice at him, finally letting all your frustrations show._

_“Tell me Wonpil, do you even remember what day it is today?”_

_His silence and furrowed eyebrows indicated that he had no clue._

_“I should have guessed as much. You can’t even remember our anniversary Wonpil. Did you ever wonder I asked you to come home early tonight? Why didn’t ask you to go out with me instead? Because I care for you Wonpil! I’m doing all this with you in mind! I know you’ve been working hard and that you’re tired so I wanted us to stay home instead, just you and I. When was the last time we spent time together. When...when...when was the last time ‘we’ existed?”_

_That sudden outburst of anger left you gasping for breath and you pushed past him without waiting for a reply that would never come and you left._

_Just like that._

_He didn’t call out to you._

_He didn’t chase after you._

_He just watched as you walked away._

_Just like that._

_The next day when he got back home, he found the apartment stripped bare of all your belongings with a white letter bearing his name placed on his work desk. Tearing the flap open, the contents of the letter crushed him into a million pieces._

**_“Hi Wonpil. I’ll just keep this simple so that I don’t take up too much of your time. Time and emotional distance has kept us away from one another for too long and I think that spark of love isn’t there anymore, both for you and me. Staying in this relationship will only result in bitterness for the both of us so let’s just end things here. You’ll find all your gifts in a box on the bed but I did take some personal favourites along with me. Forgive me for having to do this; I don’t think I could see you in person and tell you this without having a full mental breakdown. Thank you for all the good memories and take care of your health._ **

**_PS: I restocked on some honey for you - winter is dry and you need to take care of your throat._ **

**_Love,_ **

**_Y/N”_ **

****

_Walking towards the kitchen, he found 4 bottles of honey placed in a row on the kitchen counter. Even till the end, you still cared for him unconditionally. But he was a fool that only realised what he lost too late._

-

_Why was it so hard to say thank you back then?_

_Why was it so hard to say I’m sorry?_

_Why didn’t I chase after you and hold onto you tightly?_

 

The image of you kissing your husband last night seared in his mind like a brand - a mocking brand that marked him as the world’s biggest fool for giving you up. Still, he smiled for you till the end last night, putting up a good show and pretending that he was totally alright losing you when he was crippling with hurt inside.

 

Wonpil had too many regrets but nothing would ever change the fact that you’re no longer his, and nothing would change the fact that he’ll never ever be able to have you back. Letting the snow fall all around him as the snowflakes clung to his hair, he walked for a long time without a destination in mind. Unbeknownst to him, he had wandered into a familiar neighbourhood and right at that moment when he chose to look up, he recognised the house in front of him as the one that both of you used to own together. He remembered putting it up for sale after both of you broke up but it has yet to find a new owner. He glanced over the house carefully before his gaze fell on the bench right outside the house. That particular bench brought back so many memories of you – that was your favourite spot to stargaze and he remembers singing for you as you rest your head on the crook between his neck. Playful kisses were stolen as he wrapped your hands in his bigger hands, whispering promises to you with only the night sky as a witness. Promises of how much he’ll treasure you forever, and promises of your future together.

But those were no longer to be – but who could be blamed for all this happening except him?

Easing himself into the seat, he closes his eyes and tries to remember what it was like to have you sitting beside him and for a brief moment, he feels your warmth in the seat beside him and it feels as though he was clasping onto your warm hands once again. But when he opens his eyes to find the spot beside him empty, all that warmth disappears slowly and he is left to the deal with the desolate loneliness that he has brought upon himself.

It was winter when you left and for so many years he had lived in that cold season, letting his heart turn to ice with regret and sorrow. He knew then that it was all over but he still couldn’t move on from the ghost of you. But now, with only the cold and empty space to accompany him, it was clear to him on what must be done.

The winter of you is passing, and so must he.


	9. Life's a surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jae x You
> 
> Genre: slice of life, humour, romance, fluff
> 
> Words: 2.7k
> 
> Description: When you’re sick and tired of the single life and life decides to surprise you a little

 

"Hey Y/N... I'm really sorry... I can't go out tonight, its date night with Sungjin." 

_Not again._

Masking your disappointment, you quickly chirped out a response to your friend on the other end. 

"It's alright then, you have fun with Sungjin. I'll see you another time."

You then ended the call before tossing your phone onto your bed and flopping down on it yourself afterward. 

You've wanted to catch up with your family or friends but everyone was rejecting you for the same reason: date nights. You've called at least 3 friends and your cousin but everyone seemed to have a significant other to spend time with. Even your parents were going out to catch a musical together. Literally everyone was having something going on for them - except you. 

 

You've never had a love life since young and growing up, you've never had a problem with that. You've always thought that boyfriends were a waste of time and money - which was probably true for a student. But as you gradually blossomed into a beautiful young lady and all your peers began to have a significant other, you found yourself spending more time by yourself and it does get lonely, like now. Recently, you've even been entertaining thoughts about being left on the shelf - something completely out of character to you. As much as you hate to admit it, the thought of growing old alone does scare you terribly, as it does to many other people. All you wanted was to spend some time with family and friends (and maybe find a boyfriend), was that too much to ask for?

 

After moping around on your bed for a few minutes, you decided that you would not waste away a good night just because you had no one by your side. 

 

_Well, a girl's gotta learn how to have fun by herself._

-

The moment you exited your car, all you could see were couples everywhere. Kissing, holding hands as they walked, coming together in the same colour scheme etc. Everything around you screamed 'couples!' and 'pairs!' and you stood like a sore thumb amongst the sea of lovers. However, you refused to let this deter you from achieving your purpose tonight. Lifting your chin up high and straightening your back, you walked tall and proud into the bar, your purposeful steps announcing your entrance. Choosing an outdoor seat facing the harbour to get a clear view of the evening sky, you declined the waiter’s offer of food and instead opted for a bottle of red wine instead. When the wine came, you took your time savouring the sweet alcohol in small sips. From the corner of your eye, you could make out a couple holding hands and giving one another kisses on the cheek. Was it so hard for a girl to not have to be reminded of her lack of a love life? Well, apparently not. Attempting to quench your frustration, you downed the next cup in one mouthful.

And then another,

And another,

And another.

By the time you got the end of the bottle, you were positively drunk. Having no rational control over your body, you walked out of the restaurant and onto the wharf without paying and when the waiter tried to chase after you, you pushed him away with an unusually good amount of force, leaving the waiter dumbfounded at your diminishing figure. That was when the waiter felt a firm hand being placed onto his shoulder, before a towering figure with spectacles turning out to be his saviour.

“I’ll pay for her bill – keep the change as a tip.”

Pressing a hundred dollar bill into his hand, Jae took after you.

-

Sashaying along the wharf in the cooling summer night, you began to let out a string of colour profanities from your lips, cursing the world and your terrible luck for leaving you without a boyfriend. When you finally got exhausted, you collapsed onto the ground in a heap, taking off your red heels and flinging them far, far away before curling up into a foetal position to bawl your eyes out.

“Hey, are you ok?”

Sniffling, you lifted your head from your arms, making eye contact with someone wearing thin, golden glasses and somewhere in your mind, you decided that the person in front of you was Harry Potter.

Letting a gasp escape your pink lips, you exclaimed this piece of information out loud to no one in particular.

“Harry Potter! I like your glasses!”

Reaching out, you pulled Jae’s glasses off his face before placing them on your own. The glasses were too big for the bridge of your nose and they kept slipping off but that did not deter you from looking up at Jae and giggling to him.

Shaking his head in disbelief as his lips cracked to form a smile, Jae could not believe what he was seeing right now. Were you even real? How could someone go from vulgar, sobbing mess to a giggling high school girl now? Jae could not believe the duality that existed within you and he blamed it on the alcohol as the cause of your haywire cognitive functions. Even with the smudged makeup and glasses that were too big for your face, he actually thought that you looked cute. But no matter how cute you looked, Jae knew that getting you home was of utmost importance.

“Hey erm… are you sober enough to tell me where you stay? I’m going to send you home – I can’t possibly leave you here.”

Alas, his words were clearly not registered and now, you were beginning to fiddle around with his glasses, muttering in broken sentences about how much you adore them.

“Never mind, I’ll help myself.”

Opening up your purse, he dug around for your identity card and finally got your address as well as your name.

_Y/N huh? An interesting name for such an interesting character._

“Well, Y/N, let’s get you home now.”

Turning to face you, he realised that you were already asleep, your head leaning against the cool metal railing of the wharf. Letting out a deep sigh and light chuckle afterwards, Jae gently picked you up bridal style before retrieving your heels and purse, carrying you all the way into the passenger seat of your car as he took the wheel.

-

When your parents opened the door that night, to say they got a shock of their lives was an understatement. Never would they have expected a man to show up at the door step at midnight, much less one that was carrying their daughter. Being the dramatic person that she is, your mum had to say the most inappropriate thing in the world.

“Oh my god is she dead?”

Blinking rapidly, Jae licked his lips before replying.

“Eh, no she isn’t, she just had too much to drink. I know this looks really inappropriate and very misleading but may I?”

Opening the door a little wider, your dad led the way to your room and stayed in there till your mother chased him out and closed the door.

“What are you doing leaving them alone inside!”

“Letting them do their things of course!”

“What, are you insane?”

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to see her appear home with a man in tow! Now would you just shush!”

Pressing her ear against the door, she listened like a bat to find out what was happening in your room.

-

Back in your room, Jae had taken a wet towel to help you wipe your face whilst leaving your clothes intact. Placing the duvets over your figure, he then gently removed the glasses from your face and placed them by your bedside. With the illumination from the moon, Jae finally found a spare paper and pen.

When he exited the room, he found your parents staring back at him with hopeful expressions and he felt pressured to say something.

“Erm, I’ve put her in bed but she’s drank a lot so you might want to place some water and hangover medicine by her bedside. I’ll get going now.”

Jae then respectfully bowed before leaving your house, taking a taxi back to the restaurant to retrieve his car that he left behind.

-

The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache and you groaned out loud, earning more protests from your parched throat. Drinking the water slowly, the cool liquid brought your throat immense relief and you let out a sigh of relief. When the hydration slowly eased the pain in your head, you opened up your eyes and found out that you were in your room.

_Wait, how did I get here? Wasn’t I at a restaurant last night? And whose glasses are these?_

Carefully running your fingers across the thin rim of the glasses, you then picked up the note and read it carefully.

**“Since you like my glasses so much, you can have them.** **-Jae Potter”**

War flashbacks of last night raced through your mind – getting drunk at the bar, running off without paying but more prominently, of a certain blonde hair male whom you now knew as Jae. Taking your pillow, you let out a muffled scream into it but of course, that did not go unnoticed to your mother.

Bursting into your room with her heavy ensemble of jewellery swaying around her, your mother stared at your wide-eyed before hurrying to your side.

“What’s wrong Y/N?”

“All I want to do is shrink into some corner right now…” You then proceeded to shake your head violently into your pillow, before your mum ripped it away from you.

“I’m proud of you last night honey.”

“What for?”

“For getting yourself a man!”

“Excuse me? How did you –”

“Do you really have no idea? A young man drove you home last night!”

“He has blonde hair.”

A nod.

“He was also really tall.”

Another nod.

It was confirmed: This person called Jae had drove you home last night and you had embarrassed yourself in front of him horribly. Throwing the covers over your face, you lay down on bed and pretended to sink into oblivion. Your mother then patted your stomach one last time before exiting your room, closing the door softly after her.

-

For the rest of the day, you stayed home, trying to recover from the hangover until your phone rang in the evening.

“Hey Y/N~”

“Finally you found enough time to call me.”

“Hey I was out with Sungjin~ but aren’t I calling you now?”

Accepting her cuteness that was her measly attempt to appease you, you got straight down to business.

“What is this about Emily?”

“I’ve prepared a double date for us tonight?”

“What? You know I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Yes I do, which is why I’m setting you up with one right now! I’ll text you the location and timing, see you tonight!”

Before you even had time to say anything, the line went dead and her messages came in instantly.

A map of a fancy Italian restaurant popped up with her message that read: **See you tonight at 7pm! PS: I’m sure you’ll love him! ;)**

It was already 5pm, and you knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer so you picked yourself off the couch to begin looking presentable. For some reason, you took the glasses along with you, your intuition telling you that you’ll need it later.

-

At 7pm on the dot, you walked into the restaurant in your red velvet dress before being waved over by Emily. From the corner of your eye, you could see someone else approaching your table – your supposed “date” for tonight.

“Y/N, I want you to meet –”

“Jae.”

In the background, you could hear her asking “How do you know his name?” but you were too lost in your own world to reply her. You caught Jae’s eye contact – his eyes seemed clearer now without his glasses. He then smiled, and you swallowed thickly, certain that he remembered every single detail from last night. By now, your cheeks were bright red and no amount of foundation would be able to mask your great embarrassment. Before you could flee the scene, you were brought back to reality by Emily shaking of your arm.

“You know Jae?”

Before you could explain the situation, Jae intervened in your behalf.

“Y/N and I are, in fact, pretty well-acquainted. Well, we’ll leave you and Sungjin to enjoy your time.”

Placing a gentle hand on your waist, Jae steered you out of the restaurant before letting go of you.

“Ladies first.”

Looking back at him, you then took a step forward and Jae then fell into tandem beside you as both of you walked further and further away from the restaurant. Silence enveloped the both of you for some time before you finally broke the ice.

“Here, your glasses.”

“Oh thank you.”

His long slender fingers came into contact with yours at that moment, sending sparks of electricity through your arm and causing you to shiver. Jae mistook that and thought that you were cold.

“Are you cold? Here, have this.”

Shedding his jacket, Jae carefully draped it over your shoulders, revealing a handsome maroon turtleneck beneath. You noted how both of you were wearing matching colours now, and you blushed a little at that thought.

“Thank you… and about last night, I’m terribly sorry. I had too much to drink and one thing led to the next. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s alright; I couldn’t possibly leave you so vulnerable out there. But I must admit, that was the most extensive vocabulary of curse words I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“That was…ah forget it.” You didn’t know how to explain your behaviour without revealing your desperation and you decided to just laugh it off with Jae, which, thankfully he did.

“Can I confirm something Y/N?”

“Sure.”

“You were feeling lousy about being single, right?”

“I have no defence against that – so yes.”

“I’ve got something that can work in both our favour.”

“What is it?”

“Go out for dinner with me one night? You can say it’s a date.”

You nodded your head ever so faintly, and Jae has never smiled so brightly in his entire life before.

One date turned into many more.

By the end of 1 year, you were officially no longer single.

By the end of the 3rd year, you were officially a married woman.

-

**Epilogue**

A ball bounced off your back and you turned over with your heavy belly, all ready to admonish your son for throwing things at you but when you finally saw the culprit, you rolled your eyes and let out a sigh of resignation.

Your husband Jae was holding brightly coloured balls from the play pen, a huge child-like grin spread out across his face. He was supposed to be playing with his son Adrian but 3 year old Adrian was now exhausted and sleeping on the couch, leaving his father to entertain himself in the play pen.

“I never knew these balls were so fun to play with Y/N! Can we get more of them?”

His loud voice had caused Adrian to fidget in his sleep and you immediately shot Jae a glare that effectively made him shut up. Walking over to you, you began chiding Jae.

“Really Jae, I don’t know who’s the kid sometimes – Adrian or you.”

“Aw come on honey, why do you have to be so mean?”

“Because you deserve it.”

Pregnancy hormones were at their peak now that you were near your due date, leaving you with a short fuse and Jae had to put up with your sharp tongue a lot these past few months.

But now, verbal abuse wasn’t enough – he even had to suffer physical abuse. You had gripped onto his forearm with such force that he howled in pain, causing Adrian to wake up.

Jae then had to bring both a crying son and mother in pain to the hospital where you gifted him with another precious child: a girl.

When he first got to hold her days later, he burst out sobbing in tears upon looking at the little bundle and you had to comfort your husband despite still being weak.

You never understood how you managed to fall for such a man but life always surprises you doesn’t it?


	10. Heartbeats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Sungjin x You
> 
> Genre: Warning: angst, character death
> 
> Words: 3.4k
> 
> Description: When loving means living hard for the next moment

When it first happened, you were beaten to the floor by the extreme pain. You could feel yourself gasping for breath, but no oxygen was circulating around your body. You remember the room shifting in and out of focus, watching as the expression on your classmates change to horror, concern and disbelief. The thundering of the footsteps sounded muffled, almost as though you were submerged deep down within the ocean, the pressure blocking out every sound. But nothing could compare to the piercing pain coming from your chest: it felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing your heart – each pierce through your heart more painful than the next. You squeezed hard onto the area outside your heart – you wanted to rip your heart out just so that you could be free from the pain. Then all at once, your world faded into blackness – and you could feel nothing at all.

When you finally came round, you noticed the immediate difference. It was much harder to breathe and speak, your breath came out in short wheezes and your speech was much softer and less sustained. However, that was not the oddest thing to you – it was your mother. Clutching onto your hand tightly, all she could tell was that everything would be alright but the truth did not escape your eyes – she had been crying. Being the strong fort that he was, your father explained everything calmly to you. He explained what happened, about how you could no longer do sports, about how you’ll have to be careful from now on.

About how you have a heart disease.

 

At that moment, it seems as though your entire world had shifted. The ground-breaking revelation slammed into your being like a truck and slowly a list of all the things you could no longer do began to form in your mind. Questions also fought for dominance, stuff like: "what does this mean for Mum and Dad?", "will I be able to go to school?" and so on. The unknown future shook you a little inside and you could feel the fear thundering within your chest. 

"Y/N the doctors will explain everything now so listen carefully. Mum and I will be waiting outside."

So for the next hour, you sat down with your doctor and got to know more about your condition and her. After all, you knew that you'll have to be well-acquainted with her eventually.

-

Years went on without a hitch. You were basically a model patient – no relapses and medication always seemed to work on you. Regular check-ups showed that you were in a best state that you could ever be in and some doctors even expressed optimism at your condition. As for yourself, you grew accustomed to the lifestyle filled with trips to the hospital, constant consumption of medication and a lifestyle of being sheltered. There was only one thing you really missed – basketball. You watched them have fun on court and you missed being part of all that excitement. Yet, there was nothing you could to change your condition – you could only grow to accept it and hope for the best.

So when the pain struck you again years later as an adult, you thought you were going to die.

-

When you came round, the image of your parents crumpled with defeat broke you. Both of them were crying their eyes out and neither of them could look at you in the eye to tell you what was going on – even your dad avoided your eyes. You knew that look – it was the look he gave when there were certain things he did not want to face. You knew immediately then what this meant for you, you didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure that out. You were still fixated on your parents until a strong voice brought you back to reality.

“Hi Y/N. Let’s check your vitals first.”

There it was – straightforward and direct. No words of concern came from this doctor – no typical stuff like “how are you feeling?” or “everything is going to be fine.” You knew there and then that he was going to be all about business. You only managed to catch a glimpse of this nametag which read “Park Sungjin” before he took a seat directly opposite you. He looked very young, easily around your age and already a cardiovascular specialist. It hasn’t even been two minutes since you met this man and he was already surprising you in many ways.

“Let me introduce myself first Y/N. My name is Park Sungjin. I’ll be your doctor from now on as your previous specialist has already gone into retirement. Since you’re no stranger to such situations, I shall go straight to the point, is that alright?”

“Sure. Let’s just get this over and done with.” _Besides, I’m already prepared for the worst._

His single raised eyebrow indicated that your response was unexpected to him – he did not expect you to have taken this calmly.

“You suffered from heart failure during a lecture and we managed to restart the heart again – which is why you’re still here. Tests show that the disease is spreading and has begun to attack major muscles in your heart and at the rate that it’s going; you have about a year left to live unless a suitable donor comes along – which you already know.”

Donor – a word that gave you hope and despair at the same time. For years you have waited for one but no suitable match came along and so you just kept waiting. In recent years you seem to have given up on the idea completely and your imminent death did not spark off a new fight for survival in trying to find a donor. Instead, you let your pragmatic side take over. After all, donors do not drop from the sky as and when you wished them to.

 “Is there any other treatment option available?”

“Tests have shown that your body cells have grown resistant to the medication that you are currently taking and a change is required. However, there is no new medication as of now – the best we can do it put you on antibiotics.”

He then stared at you dead in the eyes with the deep black orbs awaiting your reaction.

_The verdict is set for me then – no donor and no medication. Looks like I’ll be meeting my maker sooner than I expected._

“Anything else I should know?”

“We will keep searching a donor and you’ve been given priority if one comes along. I’ll leave you to your parents now.”

He then bowed and stood to leave before ushering your parents in. That night, you had to deal with a waterfall of tears but you had none to shed for yourself.

-

Despite the horrible diagnosis that you were given, you tried to live life as you did before. It was just the kind of mentality that you've been trained into since you discovered your condition years ago - to just take things as they come. You've learnt that worrying too much does you no good and the same logic applies for everything else in life. You went back to school as much as you could and you visited the hospital twice as much. Meaning to say that Sungjin's face soon became the face you saw the most in your waking hours. But you and him maintained a professional relationship: simply because both of you kept your silence. Spending so much time in the hospital, you didn’t want to waste the time away so in between test results and checks, you could always be seen studying; either doing pre-lecture readings or writing a paper furiously on your laptop. If you were going to have so little time left in this world, you would want to at least get a degree before dying. Such a sight fascinated Sungjin and even he couldn’t deny that your tenacity was tugging at his heartstrings. Once or twice you had caught him staring and when you gave him a little smile to ask if anything was alright, the tip of his ears would burn red before he averted his eyes from you. You fought hard with every breath that was given to you but fate seems to hate you and once again, you collapsed. The last thing you saw was his worried expression and his lips as he said “Stay with me” 

-

The room was dark when you woke up, and only the low beeping of the machines could be heard. When you tried to move your hand, you couldn't. For a moment you panicked, worried that the heart failure had caused you to be paralysed. But when the weight was magically lifted and replaced with Sungjin's voice, you breathed a sigh of relief but instantly missed the warmth he gave you.

"Hey you're awake. Lie here for a moment ok? I'll give a phone call to your parents and be right back."

But you refused to let him go, instead clutching onto his hand tightly, asking him to stay without words. You didn't want to be left alone in the dark that you had been dropped into every time your heart failed you and besides, you didn't want your parents to know. But he was as firm as a rock and gently extricated his hand from yours before smoothing your hair back.

"I promise I'll be right back Y/N. I'm not leaving your side."

You could hear him walk away and you simply shut your eyes and waited till he was back. You hadn't noticed yourself but his safety was the one you sought first when you were afraid.

-

Since that time, you've been permanently hospitalised where you were basically confined to your private room and transported between rooms to have multiple tests done on you. You were not allowed to do anything that could potentially give you stress, which meant that school work was out of the question. With nothing else to do, you simply spent your days watching the shows switch on the small television that you have in your room. You were slowly growing frustrated until one day you just snapped.

“Sungjin get me out of this place.”

He pretended not to hear, but you know fully well that he could.

“Sungjin look at me and stop ignoring me.” You had clenched your fingers around his wrist and only then did he finally stop toggling with your machines to look at you.

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Says the one that broke the rules for staying overnight with your patient that time.”

He opened his mouth to protest but then closed it before he could say anything.

“Tell me what you want to do.”

“Basketball.”

“I’ll come get you at 10pm tonight. Be ready once lights are out.”

With that, he briskly walked away, leaving you alone with your excitement.

At 10pm sharp, Sungjin came dressed in full black. You hadn’t managed to figure out that it was him until he pulled down the black mask that was covering his face. He then threw you a set of black clothes and muttered something about getting changed while he waited outside. You did as he said and on the way out of the hospital, he grabbed your hand in his and you couldn’t stop the smile that was making its way onto your face.

-

“Catch.”

You caught the ball he threw with ease – you still had it in you after all these years. You bounced the ball lightly a few times, relishing in the feeling of being to hold the ball once again. It had been so long, too long and the thrill you were feeling right now was making you giddy. Unbeknownst to you, Sungjin, whom was watching as the bliss showed on your face, cracked a smile for the first time. You were about to shoot a 3 pointer until Sungjin came up from behind to knock the ball out of your hand.

“Foul!”

“I never said I was playing by the rules.”

You narrowed your eyes at his smirking figure before letting the games begin.

By the end of it, you were tired, dirty and smelly but absolutely satisfied. Falling onto the ground beside Sungjin, you let your chest rise and fall in rhythm next to his, listening to your heart thunder in your chest, feeling it work like how it should. Turning to face him, you said, “Thank you for doing for me.”

“You’re welcome.” He then smiled and you took in the pretty sight.

“You know, this is the first time that I’ve seen you smile.”

“I don’t like smiling randomly.”

But you knew that meant this instead: _I keep this smile only for you._

-

Since that day, Sungjin’s attitude towards you had changed. He was more open and carefree with you and he’ll joke with you in between your tests just to calm you down. He’ll also entertain you with voice impersonations and he was comfortable using his dialect around you – which you absolutely adored. As time went on, you noticed a definite shift in his feelings for you. How his hands would always be a little reluctant to leave yours, how his gaze always lingered on you a little longer, how he would smile a little brighter for you. He was in love with you – and that was something both of you knew very well.

So one night when the last chords faded out and the knowledge that his time with you was up for the night, you shifted his guitar to the side and boldly closed the space between the both of you. He gladly let his walls fall, surrendering himself to you fully, expressing what words could not with his lips. When both of you finally pulled away gasping for air like fish out of water, the adrenaline still buzzing in your veins, he teased you for your flushed cheeks before bringing his lips to meet yours

Again,

And again,

And again.

That night, he had set his mind firmly on keeping you alive.

-

“I’m going to need another shot.”

“2 draws of blood? What for?”

“There are 2 sets of tests that I need to run today so just bear with me a little.”

You felt the thin needle finally slide out of your forearm and his soft lips soon descended upon your forehead next. That was his way of saying _I love you_.

Back at the lab, Sungjin passed 2 vials of blood to Wonpil. Upon seeing the names on the vials, Wonpil furrowed his eyebrows – he could not understand why Sungjin would do such a thing. It must look like some sick joke but Sungjin wasn’t playing around.

“Are you sure about this Sungjin?”

“Absolutely. You know how I am Wonpil, it would be much better for her this way too. Tell me if there’s a match.”

Wonpil simply nodded before placing the vials to run in the machine.

 

That night as he left your room, Sungjin received a message from Wonpil.

**From: Wonpil**

**Positive match.**

 

Pocketing the phone, he marched off to his office instead of home to settle the necessary work.

-

Lying in the hospital bed with you pressed up against him that night, Sungjin finally broke the news to you.

“We got you a donor.”

You sat up straight in disbelief, searching his eyes for a hint of mischief that you’ve grown accustomed to by now.

“Relax, I’m not lying to you Y/N. It’s true; we really found one for you.”

At an absolute loss for words, you begun to sob and Sungjin had to wipe away some tears from your eyes.

“Silly girl don’t cry. With this you’re going to have a new lease of life, why are you sad?”

“I’m not sad… I’m just overwhelmed with emotions; I’ve been waiting for one for so long and now this? It’s so unbelievable.”

“Well, you better believe it because I’ve scheduled you for surgery tomorrow.”

You simply leaned down to kiss him and you feel him smile into the kiss as his hands made their way into your hair – bringing you closer to him. Laying your head on his chest again, you listened to the strong, steady heartbeat of his as you traced your fingers across his collarbones. He then broke the silence, “Don’t worry about a thing Y/N, as long as my heart is still beating, it will fight to keep you alive.”

This time round, you didn’t have to look into his eyes to know that he meant what he said.

-

You woke up to the sound of your heartbeat – it was strong and steady and to be able to hear that sound made you tear up. If Sungjin was here he would have teased you for being such a weakling but you really couldn’t help the enormous surge of emotions right now. Speaking of which, where was he? Just then, Wonpil walked into the room and you greeted him.

“Hi Wonpil! Do you know where Sungjin is?”

The poor boy couldn’t lie and it showed on his face. You knew something was wrong but you couldn’t tell what it was. Before you could interrogate the boy further, he simply passed you a tablet before saying, “Sungjin has something to say to you.” Sungjin appeared in the video looking like he had aged a thousand years. What happened to him?

 

**_“Hey Y/N. It’s me. You know I’m bad with words so I’m not going to write letters or anything because it’ll come out awkwardly. I’m filming this so that I can pretend that I am talking to you – this way it’ll turn out more genuine. First of all, I’m sorry that I lied. I acted all happy and fine but I think at this point in time you do deserve the truth from me. I’ve been battling liver failure since I was a child and like you, it worsened recently. You and I both know the pain of having to go in and out of the hospital just for checks, not being able to live life like normal human beings and constantly shackled by our conditions. It’s tiring to live like that, isn’t it? Secondly, you have to know that I love you with all my heart. In all my years I have never met someone as strong-willed as you are, insisting on living life like a normal human being. I fell in love with that tenacity, with you as a wonderful human being. You were the only one that could break down my walls slowly with your softness and I guess at some point I had just stopped resisting and let myself fall with you. I love you baby, forever and always. You have to know that. Lastly…”_ **

There was a long pause and you could hear him picking at his fingernails before he finally looked at the camera again.

**_“I am your donor. That heart that’s beating inside of you now belongs to me. Remember how I once told you that as long as that heart beats it will fight to keep you alive? I wasn’t lying back then – I meant it and now, it will beat for you for as long as it can. Now you can play basketball – go back and do all the things you’ve missed out on in your teenage years. If my heart couldn’t serve my body well, I would want it to serve you well. I will always be with you wherever you go so don’t cry; I know you’re probably crying buckets of tears now. You and I are both in a happier place now so rejoice in that. Once again, I love you and don’t miss me too much.”_ **

The next noise that came from you was one so inconsolable and full of sorrow that whoever heard you must have cried along with you. For a long while, you simply clutched onto your heart, wailing and screaming until exhaustion took over. Even now, when you wished for your heart to stop, you could still hear it beating defiantly, refusing to let anything take you away from this world.

-

“Hey Sungjin. Hope life’s good up there.”

Placing a bunch of fresh flowers next to his tombstone, you looked at his portrait for a little while before placing your medal next to him.

“Thanks to you, I’ve managed to win the Open Basketball Championships this year so I’m giving you my medal because this belongs to you, not me.”

You paused for a little while, willing yourself not to cry but when you spoke again, your voice still cracked.

“You know, I still resent you for leaving me here alone without even telling me first… I’m learning to live each day without you but it hasn’t been easy…”

Despite the bitter edge in your voice, you knew you still loved him very much.

“But I’m continuing to live well because this life is a gift and it would be a disrespect to you if I had just wasted my life. I’m going to keep winning medals and come back to annoy you so even if you’re up there, don’t think that you can be free from me.”

Letting your voice drop to a whisper, you said,

“I love you, and I miss you so much.”

Giving his portrait one last caress, you then stood to face the sun, your heart beating fast to carry you forward into the new day.


	11. How to say I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: DAY6 Wonpil x You  
> Genre: fluff, slice of life, romance   
> Words: 1.5k  
> Description: tough man!wonpil   
> Warnings: slight cursing

You remembered the first time that you met Wonpil. Well, technically speaking, you didn't meet him. More like heard him play. You were 17 and it was your first piano competition where you had to compete against overseas competitors. You've been in numerous competition before but the thought of this one had you trembling in fear. Oh, how much you wished you could just slink back into the shadows and not do this but standing behind the curtains now, you knew that was not an option. All you could do right now is pray that you don't screw up later on stage. The boy in front of you was obviously from a foreign land; you could tell from the way he introduced himself to the audience in your mother tongue. It wasn't perfect but you'll give him credit for trying.

The boy then settled himself in front of the grand piano and when he started playing, you knew it was game over for the rest of you. How on earth could anyone in this hall best that? The answer was none. His fingers glided across the keys gracefully, as if the keys were made specially for him. He was in complete control of the piece, bending and shaping it to his will. It was still a classical piece nonetheless but if you listened closely you would be able to hear a set rhythm layered underneath all the changing dynamics his piece required. You could clearly imagine a guitar accompanying this piece; like he would sound great if he was placed into a rock band. It was marvelous how he managed to blend the modern with classic - retaining the original flavor of the piece but still managing to make it his own. When he ended, the entire hall waited in bated breath before erupting into a standing ovation for him. He bowed multiple times to the adoring crowd and his ears grew redder by the second. Said boy half ran off the stage out of embarrassment and when he finally came backstage standing right in front of you, you swore you've never seen such a good-looking person before. His angular features transformed into a sweet smile before he showed you two thumbs ups, silently cheering you on. You smiled back, his encouragement giving you that little extra boost that you needed.

When he stepped down from the podium later on to walk towards you, you remembered his first words to you.

"Hi hello."

And that was how it all started.

-

Turning the tables around, it was now your turn to visit Wonpil's home - Korea, for an competition. Over the years you've become close friends with Wonpil, video-calling one another and sharing clips of one another playing with each other. You tried learning Korean for his sake but you were pretty hopeless at it. Whenever he tried to teach you over the screen, he would always end up laughing at your horrible pronunciation and broken sentences than actually teaching you. Eventually you threw your books down and decided to learn from Korean dramas instead but that wasn't particularly helpful - now all you knew were a 100 ways to profess your love for someone in Korean. Now that you were here, of course he had offered to bring you around.

When he first saw you at the airport, he let out the widest smile and squealed a little before running to engulf you in a giant teddy bear hug. You squeezed him back hard, showing how glad you were to see him with your actions instead of words. After letting you go, he went on rapidly about all the amazing places he had planned out for the both of you. You caught on some words such as 'Myeongdong', 'Gangnam' and 'Insadong' and it immediately got you pumped up.

"Y/N let's go!"

Wonpil then took off and you nearly had to run in order to catch up with him.

-

The night market in Myeongdong was alive. It was like a heart and it pulsed energetically with bright colors and pounding music. The latest Korean pop songs played from each shop, the trinkets and food surrounding you all vying for your attention. Wonpil brought you around from shop to shop, hoping that you'll be able to hit every stall and get the full Seoul experience. But all of a sudden, he slowed to a stop. He seemed to be looking at a cart engulfed by a crowd, rendering the cart invisible from your point of view. Turning back to you, Wonpil told you to stay put.

"That cart sells really great Korean pancakes but it's too crowded. I'll go get them for us so just stay put here ok?"

You replied him with a soft smile and he hurried off, the crowd immediately swallowing his smaller frame. You were doing fine on your own admiring some pretty rings until you felt yourself being surrounded. Turning your attention away from the rings, you found a group of boys looking down at you with jeering faces, looking like a bunch of predators that have just found fresh meat. Words spilled forth from their lips as they watched you intently but you couldn't understand a single word due to your poor Korean. What's worse is that they were speaking in a dialect, making it even harder for you to try to decipher what they said. You didn't have to understand Korean to know that what they said wasn't anything nice because you felt violated under their sharp gazes. Just as one of them reached out to grab you, their hand was smacked out of the way by someone and your view of them was immediately replaced by the backview of Wonpil, whom was now acting as your human shield. He had a firm grip on your wrists as he pulled you closer towards him and you dare not pull away, or do anything against his wishes.

You have seen Wonpil look so livid before.  His eyes were piercing and unforgiving, sending them a clear message to back away from you. His eyebrows were furrowed and his jaw clenched tight in fury.

In a low, threatening tone, Wonpil literally growled at them.

"Get the hell away from her before I rip your mouths from your face."

"Oh? What are you going to do against me lover boy? It's 5 against 1, how are you going to protect her?" They then advanced against the pair of you before Wonpil grabbed a fistful of his shirt and physically shoved him away.

"I said LEAVE!" For the first time in his life, Wonpil raised his voice but these guys had thick skulls and didn't seem to know when to stop.

Well, suffice to say that they paid dearly for it.

With his smaller than average frame, Wonpil could easily dodge all their punches and you had good sense to lie low but you did managed to knee one in the nuts, earning yourself a sound pf pure agony that was music to your ears. Punches were flying all around and it looked like an action scene that could come out from the next movie blockbuster. At the end of it all, all 5 guys were lying flat on the ground, nursing bruises from various parts of their body and forming a cacophony of grunts and cries of pain.

But your joy was short-lived. A shrill whistle broke the suspense of the moment, and officers in navy blue came chasing after the both of you.

"Run!"

Closing his fingers around your wrist, he pulled you into a run as both of you evaded the police. Pulling you into a back alley, he placed your body between the wall and him as he turned his face towards you to prevent the police from recogonising him. Once their shouts and footsteps faded down another road, you then took the risk to turn your head to check the coast. But what you found instead was his face mere inches from yours, close enough for you to see that single droplet of sweat slipping down into his brow, close enough for you to feel his sweet breath fanning over your lips.

The most obvious thing to do was to try to normalize the situation and you started by asking the most neutral question you knew.

"Where did you learn how to do all that martial arts?"

"I...eh...took up some classes in recent years and I'm quite fast at learning so..."

"Oh."

A few moments of silence passed but Wonpil seemed to have no intention of moving away so you stayed put in your spot and tried to focus less on how kissable his lips looked at the moment.

"Thank you for doing all that for me just now."

"You're welcome... I just couldn't stand all those comments that they were making at you. I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

"A little but it's ok, you're still Kim Wonpil to me. Thank you and..."

Half way through your sentence, your brain decided: fuck it.

Leaning forward, you pressed your lips lightly to his, putting into action #1 of how to say I love you.

_Well, guess those Korean dramas were useful in some way at least._


	12. With love,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: DAY6 Jae x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life, romance
> 
> Words: 2.6k
> 
> Description: penpal!jae – when the flame of love rekindles

"From: Jae."

You raised a single eyebrow at the letter, surprised that this even appeared in your mailbox. You definitely weren't expecting him to write to you so soon, if not at all. But you couldn't deny that a small part of you was excited to see what he had written - he was a rather funny character. Tearing the slit open, you were greeted by a whole bunch of capital letters and haphazard punctuation - he clearly wrote this in a rather unclear (and possibly drunk) state of mind. You tried your best to decipher his scrawly handwriting (which was rather hard in all honesty) but by the end of the letter, you were laughing to yourself, the little drawing of Chicken Little at the end as he signed off tickling your funny bone. You immediately flashed back to how you met Jae on a school exchange program, the first moment you met him already proving to be rather diabolical. 

-

"Y/N your partner is..." 

The teacher scanned the classroom for a certain someone before heaving a deep sigh. 

"Jae, who's late."

Right at the moment, the door burst open, revealing a geeky boy with a sharp Mohawk hairstyle and brown glassed hanging a skewed off the bridge of his nose.

"Jae, you are exceptionally early today." The teacher's voice dripped with sarcasm before fixing an admonishing look upon his student. But the cheeky youth was clearly unfazed by the scolding (or the attention) and instead merely shoot his teacher a wide grin before defending himself. 

"Sorry Mr Franklin I had to take time to look extra good today for the exchange students." He then winked at his teacher whom simply turned back to address the class; it was quite obvious that he was rather used to such situations from the boy. Jae then turned to you, finally aware of your presence.

"Hi are you my partner?"

"Yes."

"Hi my name is Jae. Sorry for being late, I actually overslept."

"It's alright, my name is Y/N."

"Yea I know."

You found out later from him that he had chosen you as his partner because of your interesting name, which he had described as 'pretty like you', causing you to turn into a tongue-tied mess. He didn't say that to flirt, he had meant that a genuine comment. 

For the rest of the day, Jae led the pack, a natural orator that had managed to captivate all the students as he went on raptly about your school. You spent the next five days getting to know Jae very well, especially during lunch break where he led you away from the crazy lunch crowd towards the band room where both of you talked endlessly about everything ranging from America's history to embarrassing childhood stories. Time flew fast when you were having fun and before you knew it Jae was sending you off at the airport. You had just said goodbye to him and had just only turned towards the transit area when he called you again. 

"Y/N wait! Could you...give me your address? I'll like be...erm...penpals ya know?"

He then passed you a marker but no paper. 

"Jae do you have paper now?"

"No?"

"Give me your hand." 

He stuck out his arm and you quickly wrote your address on his palm.

"I'll write back. Bye Jae!"

You then took off past the gates but little did you know that Jae's skin was still tingling from your touch.

-

You kept your promise and continuously wrote back and forth to him, both of you sharing your troubles and successes with one another. But the most memorable one had to be the one with the ring, the one where he suggested flying to meet you.

"Since you've been to California before, I thought I'd use the summer break to visit you in New York. The ring is for us to identify one another just in case our looks have changed too much since the last time we met HAHA. Let me know what you think about it?"

Of course you were ecstatic. You couldn't wait to see Jae again and you drove out to mail your letter even though it was 12am at night.

But a letter never came back.

You tried writing many more letters to him but you never got one back. It was as if he had dropped off the face of the earth. After a year, you simply stopped hoping for a reply and soon Jae slowly faded to the back of your memory as you got busy with being an adult.

But somehow, you still kept the ring, wearing it faithfully each day.

-

"Go to this concert with me?" Your childhood friend, Janice, that was currently living in Korea had pleaded with you using her famous puppy eyes, anticipating your rejection. 

"Ok. But who are they? And what kind of group are they?"

"They're a band so they play their own instruments. And the name's DAY6!"

"I've never heard of them before so I'll give it a go."

"Yay! I'll pay for your ticket!"

"Really? How much must you like them to want to pay for me? "

"You'll see."

Indeed you will.

-

That night, you wore the ring on your middle finger as usual. When you entered, the hall was already crowded with fans, the excited buzzing had already began. Fans were wearing white wristbands as you were and they were also holding cute handmade banners filled with words of encouragement. You smiled at the adorable sight and felt this small bubble of joy growing within you - so this was an inkling of what it felt like to be able to see a band that you loved so much. You spotted six different instruments on stage: someone was on the rhythm guitar and another on the bass guitar. Someone would be playing both the synths and keyboard, an interesting combination for a band. The drums look majestic sitting at a spot higher than the rest, granting the drummer a greater view of the adoring crowd. Last but not least, the electric guitar. War flashbacks of Jae playing the electric guitar in the band raced through your mind and for a moment you could hear his laugh and see his infectious smile again. He quizzed you on the different instruments and you got most of them correct as you did now.

;Jae would be proud of me I suppose;

Before you had time to think further, the lights around the hall dimmed as the stage lights illuminated the 5 different spots on the stage. The members filed out one by one and Janice squeezed your hand particularly hard by the drummer came out. Manly body with boyish features: a man with dual charms; clearly he was her style. But when the electric guitarist came out, you felt your heart stop beating as the world came down to just you and him. 

Jae was standing on stage right in front of you. He still had that same wide smile with straight teeth and he still wore his glasses wherever he went. The only difference was the blonde hair and weight loss; his baby fats in the cheeks were gone, giving his face a much more angular look. 

Different look, but definitely still the same person. 

His eyes scanned the crowd quickly as Sungjin did the opening mention. When he reached your area, you swore his gaze lingered on you a little longer, the gears in his head rapidly doing the math to calculate the probability of that being you.  But before he could make up his mind, Dowoon's drums started off 'How can I say', giving him no time at all before he had to rock out on his own. For the rest of the night, Jae belted out song after song effortlessly but whenever they had breaks in between songs or special interaction with fans, he would always try to search for you among the thousands of people but his eyes showed that he wasn't sure. As for yourself, the same could be said. You weren't sure if you'd want to reveal yourself to Jae. But perhaps you were afraid of his reaction. Would he hate to see you? Would he remember you? But worst of all, would he pretend that he didn't know you when you knew he could? A million thoughts ate away at your mind throughout the concert, and you couldn't focus on anything much except for Jae. When the concert ended, you decided to flee before you did something stupid or had your heart broken by Jae.

"Y/N where are you going? There's still the fansign."

Oh right, she got VIP tickets for me too.

That means you'll have to face the inevitable: Jae. As the line in front of you got shorter and shorter, your face got redder and redder from many illogical things at once: embarrassment, anticipation, awkwardness. You thought of the worst case scenario that could happen later when you got to Jae, whom just had to be the last in the row. First was the bassist that looked ridiculously cute followed by the leader that spoke with a thick accent. The shy drummer could barely hold your eye he signed your poster for you and the adorable pianist gave you the sweetest, widest smile. 

When you finally got to Jae, you said the lamest thing off the top of your head. 

"Hi Jae. It's been a long time."

"Hi Y/N I've missed you."

I swore I almost cried there. 

-

Jae POV

It's her. I swore it was her. I could recognize her from a million miles away. I rushed off stage once the concert was over to find her but Sungjin pulled me back before I could even take a step off stage. Then that's when I see her towards the end of the snaking line, her hands trembling slightly as she chewed on her nails, and that's why they say old habits die hard.

When her name fell past my lips now after so many years, she almost cried, her eyes turning red instantly. The staff was rushing her and I hastily signed her poster (across my face by accident) but before she could leave, I had to do something. Grabbing her arm like she did to me, I quickly wrote a message to her before letting her go.

-

"Meet me backstage later."

What do I do now? What's he going to say?  

"So how was it? Were they fantastic?"

"Absolutely."

"So who's your bias?"

"Jae."

"No wonder you lingered so long at his spot."

"Yea haha, hey would you mind waiting for me a little? I need to use the washroom."

"Sure. I'll wait for you at the entrance."

Once you were safely out of her sight, you took off in the backstage direction and before you could locate him, you felt a hand reach out to pull you into a storage closet. 

There, surrounded by floor cleaners and mops, you met Jae again after so many years.

"Y/N there's so much to say to you but there's so little time...how do I even..."

"Slow down Jae. I'm going to stay in Korea for some time, we can always meet again to talk. It's just so good to see you again."

"It is. I'm sorry for disappearing so many years ago, I tried so hard so find you after that-"

To prevent him for rattling on, you grabbed his hand lightly.

"It's alright Jae, you can tell me all about it in future. For now...I'm just glad to see you again, that's all I can say."

You felt him twisting the ring and when you looked down, you found him wearing the same ring on the exact same finger. 

"I can't believe you wear it after so long..."

"I could say the same."

"I wear it as a reminder to fulfill my promise to you."

"Well, I guess fate has given us a little push now."

"And I love it. Oh and sorry about the poster, I signed on my face in a hurry."

"Well, I won't be needing the poster much since I'll be seeing the man himself soon."

Jae smiled widely at your statement, holding onto your hand tighter so that we won't lose you again. 

-

Epilogue

It was Christmas season but here you were hunched over your laptop, typing out the last few segments of your report for submission in 2 hours time. You were shivering badly in the cold; today was unnaturally cold with heavy snowfall and the heater was broken. You tried to ignore the biting cold and focus on the task at hand. Right at the moment, Jae walked over with a snuggie and draped it over your shoulder.

"Stay warm baby."

"Thanks Jae." You kissed the back of his hand before letting him go. Despite the additional layer, you were still shivering and you had to breathe some heat into your palms every few minutes to prevent your fingers from going numb. 

"Here baby." Before you could register what was happening in your slow mind, a weight was lifted off your shoulders. Jae now had a regular blanket wrapped over himself as he wriggled his awkward body into the space between you and the couch. Spreading his legs out, he pulled you into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around your frame. The finishing touch was his head upon your shoulder as he stared ahead at your laptop screen. He was essentially koala-hugging you. 

"Jae?"

"I'll keep you warm as you finish the report. Just write." He then kissed your temple before closing his eyes to rest whilst squeezing you slightly. Finding your way out of the thick blanket and his long arms, you rapidly typed out the last few segments and managed to hand in the report an hour early.

Closing your laptop softly, you turned back to Jae to slowly rouse him. Rubbing your thumb along his cheek, you mumbled against the side of his lips. 

"Babe I'm done. You can wake up now."

"So fast?"

"Hmmm"

"That's great..." The end of his words dragged out as he let out a yawn, rubbing his eyes and stretched his hands above his head.

Taking advantage of his unguarded position, you decided to have some fun after a long day. Spotting the thin strip of his soft belly that was peeking out from underneath his blue stripped pajamas, you launched a tickle attack, successfully catching him off guard. Jae yelped before bursting into laughter, completely unable to defend himself as he slowly deflated from laughing too much. Your mistake came when you decided to be nice; Jae immediately attacked from the sides and this went on till both of you somehow ended up on the couch with you on top of him. Once the giggles faded away, you looked down at the beautiful man that was now yours and some wire in your brain decided that now would be a good time to kiss him. Leaning down, you placed your lips on his and it made you giddy with happiness when you felt him smile into the kiss. 

Breaking away, your hands went to play with soft hair, running your fingers through them. All this while appreciating the beauty of this man that you can now call yours. 

"You should probably get some sleep, it's late."

And so you did. You fell asleep that night with your head tucked under his chin, your arms wrapped tightly around his torso. 


	13. Burning Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Sungjin x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life, romance
> 
> Words: 1.5k
> 
> Description: When the stars burn bright but right

 

When Sungjin first saw you by the river, he nearly fell off his bike. It swerved left and right but thankfully his reflexes were fast enough. Sticking a leg out, he managed to stop his bike before he could fall over.

Sungjin never believed in love at first sight but even he couldn't deny that what he was feeling at the moment was something like that. You were like a shining star among the rocks. Despite the people rushing along the Han River, you seemed perfectly contented in your own little bubble. You sat with your canvas and palettes spread out in front of you painting the night sky, the image coming to life under your hands. Sungjin has never saw anything quite like that before - the stars were drawn big with white flames around them, the surrounding sky a deep midnight blue. It's as if your eyes could see things a million miles away for what they are. He stood mesmerised, watching as your hands created magic across the canvas. But when you turned to look at him, that's when he felt like a criminal caught red-handed. You tilted your head as if you were asking him a question but he quickly pulled up his black mask and rode off towards the JYP building, totally forgetting about the music sourcing that he had came to do in the first place. Needless to say, he got an earful from Brian when he got back to the dorm. 

-

He wasn't expecting to see you so soon. Of course he did think: what if you were at the same spot tonight? He couldn't risk being seen by you so he steered clear from that area where he last saw you. Despite being at the opposite end of the river now, he still caught sight of you.

Same person, same canvas.

You were doing the finishing touches tonight, your skillful hand leaving fairy-like touches along the blue canvas. Sungjin didn't know how, didn't know why. It was as if some invisible hand that was pushing him forward and he went without resistance.

"Hi can I sit here?"

"Sure." You patted the seat next to you and he gladly slid in, settling next to you with your kneecaps barely touching.

"That's a really nice painting that you have there."

"Thank you. Do you know what they are?"

"Stars. Up close."

"I'm surprised, not many people know that."

"Well, then I'm glad to be one of them."

You smiled back and he gave you an awkward smile while scratching the back of his nape. He was racking his brain for something to say before a string in him snapped. 

_Stop being so shy Sungjin! Man up a little! Girls don't like guys that are not confident about themselves._

Letting that thought lead him forward in his pursuit of you, that night he spoke a little louder, smiled wider and made big hand gestures as he carried on a conversation with you. 

-

Since that day onward, Sungjin and you had an unspoken agreement to meet along the river every night. You'll paint and he'll write lyrics to his songs. Even though it drained him immensely, he'll always do his best to talk a little louder and act like a tough man. He practiced everything in the textbook; from being confident to acting tough but Sungjin no longer saw the spark in your eyes. Nothing he did could bring back the sparkle he saw when his awkward self sat down next to you on that October night. He was at a complete loss, his frustration mounting as the days passed.

-

It was 1am and all Sungjin could write was sad lyrics, which was not what Brian wanted. Angry at himself, he balled up the piece of paper before launching it, their innocent drummer taking the brunt of his fury.

"Fallen out of love hyung?"

Rising his head from his hands, the leader fixed the younger with a loathsome stare that only the devil could muster. Taking that as a positive response, Dowoon went on.

"What happened?"

"She just doesn't seem interested but I swore I did everything right."

"What did you do?"

"I tried to be more confident. I talked louder, laughed more-"

"That's where you went wrong."

Sungjin felt like he had just been slapped across the face.

"What do you mean I was wrong?"

"Acting like someone you're not. "

Was Dowoon insinuating the fact that he was being pretentious? Sungjin immediately snapped back in an attempt to defend the last bit of his pride. 

"I'm not pretentious."

"I don't mean that, I mean the fact that you try too hard to be confident."

"Don't all girls like that?" 

"Who said that your girl is like any other girl? Sometimes girls like guys that are different, guys that aren't confident."

Sungjin stared at Dowoon like he had just spoken in alien language and Dowoon merely sighed before leaving his lovesick leader with one last piece of golden advice. 

"Just ask her what she likes about you. Then you'll see what I mean."

Sungjin hates to admit it, but there's a reason why their youngest is the hidden gem in their team.

-

When he met you again the next night, that was the first thing he asked you.

"Hey Y/N can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What do you like me about me?"

You blinked hard while looking at him, that question catching you off guard. There were so many things you liked about him but so little words to express it. Sungjin was an exquisite man, to water down your explanation would be doing him a great injustice.

_When words can't express it fully, use your actions._

There was your answer. 

"Give me a week Sungjin. I'll call you a week later to give you your answer."

He nodded, his heart thumping wildly in his chest.

That entire week, you locked yourself in your studio, sketching the man that held the galaxy in his eyes.

-

"Hi."

"Hello Sungjin. As promised, I'll give you your answer today."

He stood outside the threshold of your apartment, unsure of what to do next. 

"Sungjin what are you waiting for? Come in!"

His lips then formed an O shape before he quickly bent down to undo his shoelaces. You watched as he fumbled with his shoelaces, a sheepish smile forming on his face. You smiled at the sight, deciding that clumsy Sungjin was your favorite kind of Sungjin. When he finally stepped into your house, you led him to your studio.

"This is what I love about you."

Every inch of your studio was filled with portraits of Sungjin in all shapes and sizes. You stood at the doorway as he wandered around your studio, soaking in the sight of his facial expressions.

What Sungjin saw was the ordinary moments that would pass the normal human eye if they weren't paying attention.

There was the drawing of him with that sheepish smile and sparkling eyes when he first asked to sit beside you. Another one was him picking at his nails in nervousness. Another was him being focused on writing song lyrics, his eyebrows furrowed as he thought hard about the right words. But his favorite was the one right in the middle where you drew the galaxy in his eyes. Flipping the canvas over, he read your little message for him. 

"Sungjin-ah, I can see you for who you are. That boy that hold the galaxies in his eyes and the universe in his heart. You don't have to be loud or confident all the time. Remember, stars that burn too brightly lose their spark quickly too. It's ok to be yourself, people will love you for it. I already have."

In that moment, Sungjin knew Dowoon was right. You didn't love him for his confidence, you loved him for his quiet determination, his awkward smiles and clumsy self. You loved the parts of him that were rough at the edges, imperfect at the seams. You loved him because he was a genuine work in the making, not because he was perfect. Sungjin could finally see it now, and he was ecstatic to find someone that could love him for who he was. 

Walking over to stand in front of you, Sungjin said, 

"So this clumsy, socially awkward bean is who you love."

"Yes, finally you've realised that."

"Thank you for showing me that my imperfections are worth loving as well."

His eyes dropped to the floor and he asked in a rather shy voice, 

"Y/N...can I kiss you now?"

"Are you seriously asking me that question after I've showed you how much I love you? You're unbelievable." 

Tilting his face up, you pressed your lips against his and when he kissed back, you finally knew how it felt like when stars were made. 


	14. (You)th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jae x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life, romance
> 
> Words: 2k
> 
> Description: What better time to live and discover than now?
> 
> -

Title: (You)th

Characters: DAY6 Jae x OC

Genre: fluff, slice of life, romance

Words: 2k

Description: What better time to live and discover than now?

-

Youth.

The most confusing yet thrilling time of your lives. It's that time where you're neither here nor there. You're too big for the children clothes but too small for the adult ones. It's the time when you try to do adult things and get away with it. It's that time where everyone starts to ask you what you want to be in future, what are your plans for marriage and university when you can't even decide what you want to eat for breakfast. It's the time when you resent the world for the littlest of troubles, feeling like it owns you something.

And to Jae: what better time than now to live life to the fullest even with all this hatred against the world?

So this is how you ended up in the passenger seat in Jae's truck, embarking on a road trip to God-knows-where.

"ARE YOU READY FOR IT Y/N?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"Let's get it!"

Jae then raved the engine before taking off towards the highway at high-speed

 

**12am;**

On the way to the highway, the music from the pubs and clubs surrounding the both of you competed with the music coming from Jae's stereo, his head bobbing wildly to the beat. You couldn't stop the infectious fun from affecting you too, and you bobbed your head to the music as well, although less violently than Jae. When the light turned green, Jae sped off and the orange tunnel was 500 meters away. Anticipation built inside of you as both of you approached the tunnel; you especially loved the part when you zoomed into the tunnel, and in that instant everything hollowed out around you. That moment came as soon as you thought of it, and you let of a howl of joy when it happened.

Over the roar of the tunnel, Jae yelled something out.

"Get up!"

"What?"

"I said get up!"

He then tapped the glass hatch above both of you before sliding it open. You finally understood what he meant but you were a little afraid to stand out on top. What if you got blown off the truck? Jae clearly saw your hesitation and placing his hand on the small of the back, he pushed upwards and when the first blast of air hit your face, it felt like you were born again. It was scary at first, but slowly, as you got used to the cold air whipping at your face, you spread your arms out like wings and let out a yelp of joy, feeling the pure excitement vibrating deep within your bones.

_Life’s a little like that isn’t it? Everything is a little scary at first, but once you learn how to enjoy it, it becomes the best ride of your lives._

**1am;**

Jae then pulled up outside a 24 hour pizza joint and quickly ordered smoothies and pepperoni pizza for the both of you.

“How was the ride just now?”

“Absolutely thrilling, though I thought I was about to die.”

“Relax girl! You’re fine now!” Jae then shot you a wink, to which your response was rolled eyes. When the food came, both of you tucked in heartily and Jae was literally stuffing his face full with pepperoni and chocolate milkshake. You laughed at the sight – Jae looked like a literal hamster now. All was good until Jae decided to steal your cheese fries from under your nose – and no one ever stole your babies.

“JAE!” Without hesitation, you launched a pepperoni across the table, landing squarely on his glasses. Jae shot you a look from beneath his glasses and in a slow, low tone, he announced:

“This means war Y/N.”

“Fight me.”

And so he did. For the next few minutes, both of you had a food fight, throwing fries, pizza and sauces, despite the disapproving looks from the few lone customers in the place. You swore you saw someone taking a photo of the both of you, that is probably going onto some gossip site with the headline **“PESKY TEENAGERS”** but honestly both of you could care less. Both of you were in a fit of giggles, too focused on getting the other to admit defeat. Finally, Jae raised the white tissue and you sat there with a smug smile on your face, basking in the glory of your small victory.

_Such was life – you have every right to celebrate the victories no matter how small, even the nonsensical, crazy ones._

**2am;**

Once both of you had managed to calm down from the food fight, Jae had magically materialized some mix-tapes and was like an eager puppy for you to hear them.

“Quick, quick put them in!”

“Alright Jae I’m getting there!”

Nodding at him once the headphones were slotted comfortably around your ears, he punched the play button and listened to Jae’s honey voice float out from the little mp3 player he had. As always, Jae had you floored. He sang effortlessly about the stage and music, asking the crowds to never forget him even years down the road.

**“Don’t ever forget me,**

**Cherish me so that you can feel me,**

**Call me,**

**Remember me,**

**So that I can be forever.”**

To someone that didn’t know Jae, he might seem like a self-obsessed man that simply wants the fame and undying attention that comes from adoring fans.

But you knew better. You knew what Jae was really trying to say. He was asking the crowd to enjoy the music together, a silent promise that he will stay with them forever, and continue to repay them with good music each day.

_To understand someone, you simply have to find the language they speak and understand that._

“That was breathtakingly beautiful Jae, your fans would be happy to have you.”

**3am;**

“Where to next Jae?”

“It’s a secret.”

“Oh come on! You know I can’t stand the suspense!”

“Nope. Not telling. Just sit back and relax, I promise fun and non-stop cuteness.”

“Wait did you just say cuteness?”

“You bet a million dollars I just did.”

You spent the whole ride coming up for theories and launching them at Jae, your never-ending endeavor in hopes of getting him to reveal the answer. Jae simply smiled in disbelief at your perseverance, but his lips were kept firmly shut. (though not in a literal sense)

“Ok we’re here now.”

“A dark alley? What are you trying to do, get away with murdering your best friend?”

“Geez no! Just step out and you’ll see what I mean.”

Leaving his headlights on, he stepped out and you decided to follow, afraid of being left alone in the dark. The moment you got out, you were assaulted by kittens. Heaps and heaps and heaps of kitten. Kitten of all shapes and fur coats lined the entire alley and you had to clap your hands over your mouth to prevent your squealing from reaching the rest of the sleeping neighborhood. In hushed tone, you screamed to Jae.

“THIS IS GREAT OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOU THANK YOUUU!” You nearly pushed Jae off his feet when you jumped into his arms to give him a bone-crushing hug. When you bolted off to play with the kittens, Jae was left dumbfounded, his heart thumping wildly in his chest, his cheeks bright red. You however, were too engrossed with playing with the kittens that you failed to notice the boy’s bright cheeks.

For the next hour, Jae became your personal photographer, capturing photos and candids of you as you befriended as many kittens as you could, the graffiti filled walls serving as a nice backdrop. You even asked to take photos with the occasional dog that strayed past and Jae loved watching as happiness radiated off your face.

_After all, people capture shots of those they fear losing the most._

**4am;**

“Are we finally getting a break now?”

“You can say so… though not quite what I had in mind.”

You raised your brows at the paradox – how can something be yet not be?

You found yourself standing atop of a hill with a big willow tree right in the middle. Clear stars shine overhead, the night blue skies making them seem even brighter.

“May I have this dance?”

“Hmm?” Turning to face Jae, you found his hand extended towards you as slow jazz music played from his CD player. Placing your hands gently in his, you let Jae draw you into his arms as he swayed the both of you gently to the beat.

“This feels like some scene from a Disney movie.”

“It does. Except that I’m no princess.”

“We can be the prince and princess just for tonight.”

“Alright.”

Jae was an absolute gentlemen, although he doesn’t look the part in his over sized jeans and sweater and battered sneakers. That night both of you danced till your legs ached, the echoes of your laughter rolling down the hill as Jae soaked up every bit of it. He wished he could store your laughter forever; such a pure sound warming up his heart.

_It’s these simple little things that make life worth living for._

 

**5am;**

After that little dancing session, Jae promised some rest and drove both of you down to the beach where both of you sat at the back of his truck.

“Tadah~!” Jae whipped out a carton of beer and held them up high, looking at a proud kid that had just shown his mother his first drawing in school. However, you were unimpressed.

“Really Jae, beer at 5am in the morning?”

“Treat it as an early morning breakfast.”

“This is hardly nutritious.”

“No matter, cheers!”

Despite your initial disapproval, you clinked your can against his, sipping on the bitter but later on sweet beverage.

“You’ve got a beer mustache haha.”

Swapping the pad of his thumb across your upper lip, Jae got rid of it, leaving you wide-eyed in the aftermath of it. Sure, he was your best friend, but he had never dared do this sort of things with you. Why the sudden change of heart? You continued to stare at Jae as he plucked the strings to Maroon 5 “Sunday Morning”, his velvet voice warming up your heart. After a few more sips of the beer, the alcohol buzzing in you happily, you shouted out the lyrics as Jae strummed his guitar next to you. You didn’t care if you woke up the whole world – you just did as you wished, taking another chug of your beer.

_Sometimes, you just got to forget the rules and live life a little on the wild side._

**6am;**

Tired from the impromptu singing session, you lay your head on Jae’s shoulder, listening to his steady breathing and the gentle waves lapping against the shore. Slowly, the sun rises from the horizon and both of you watch in awe as the golden lights spreads over the landscape, gently waking up the world. That’s what you love so much about the sunrise – _they teach you that each day is a new beginning, a new day to make a new change in your life. However you like, whenever you like it._

And it seems like Jae was thinking the same thing.

“Y/N…”

You looked up and found Jae looking at your lips with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Yes?”

“I’m…” He swallowed thickly, and you dared him to kiss you with your eyes.

“I’m going to do something really reckless Y/N forgive me.”

Placing a hand on your cheek, Jae locked lips with you, staying still then moving them slowly, taking his time. You felt it all at once, the thrill of this all. Here was young, reckless Jae kissing you senseless and you let yourself be carried by him, doing your best to remember all these experiences forever. After all, isn’t this what youth is all about?

**_It's that time when you try to figure who you want to be in this confusing world when everyone tells you what you should be._ **


	15. Learning in progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Dowoon x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life, romance
> 
> Words: 2.6k
> 
> Description: What happens when you try to teach Dowoon how to stop blushing?
> 
> \---

Title: Learning in progress

Characters: DAY6 Dowoon x OC

Genre: fluff, slice of life, romance

Words: 2.6k

Description: What happens when you try to teach Dowoon how to stop blushing?

\---

When your brother is part of DAY6, there is no escaping having to meet them. Your parents had the biggest house and they converted the basement into Jae's personal studio and every now and then, the band would come over to rehearse for the next festival. With the school festival coming up, today was no exception.

"What's up little one?" Your brother, Jae ruffled your hair as he walked into the house and you scowled at him.

"Stop calling me that Jae, I'm not little anymore."

"Still little to me. Also Dowoon might need some help with the drums so give him a hand? I'm a little busy now." To prove his point, he held up his arm, revealing bags of takeaway food. God forbid that Jae ever had a family, he'd spend all his pay on his own food and actually forget to feed his own kids.

However, you kept that thought to yourself and simply nod was your reply and you stepped out of the house to see a struggling Dowoon.

Yoon Dowoon. That mysterious guy that you still couldn't figure out.

You've gotten pretty well-acquainted with the rest of the band, even elusive Sungjin. But whenever you talked to Dowoon, you could never get past single word replies or shifty eyes. Today was no different.

"Hi Dowoon, do you need help with the drums?"

"Yes, no...it's ok."

"Oh ok..."

Standing to the side, you saw Dowoon hastily pick up the different pieces of his drum before scuttling into the house, nervously casting a backward glance at you.

-

That evening, Jae got you to sit in for their band practice but it was getting nowhere because Dowoon was messing up. He kept starting too early or hitting the wrong drum, leaving the rest of the team in shambles. With each mistake, his ears got redder and redder, and you suspected that it wasn't simply because of his mistakes. Sungjin then called for a break, declaring that "everyone needed some time off". The rest of them left the room, leaving Dowoon and you in the room alone. He clutched his drumsticks tightly in anger, gaze fixed on the ground in guilt. Walking up to him, you sat down in front of him to pry the truth out of him.

"What's making you so nervous right now?"

"I...you."

"Because of me?"

A nod.

"Why?"

"I...get more self-conscious when a girl is around. I'm shy."

"But you've played in front of many girls before at all your club gigs."

"Not many that I know."

"So the fact that someone you know is watching you makes you nervous?"

"Yes."

You knew this wouldn't do. Many girls that know him will be watching him play on the day of the school festival. He needed to learn how to be comfortable around girls.

"I'll help you."

"How?"

"I'll teach you how to less nervous around girls. This way you'll be able to play the drums comfortably during the school festival.”

Dowoon nodded, looking into your eyes for the first time.

-

**Step 1:**

"Today's going to be really simple, we just have to stay in the same room."

Dowoon's eyes grew as large as saucers and you laughed at his comical facial expression, wondering what on earth was he thinking about.

"Don't worry I won't pressure you to do anything, all you have to do is stay in the same room with me in comfortable silence, or well, as comfortable as it can be. Just slowly helping you get used to the presence of a female that you know ok?"

Dowoon finally understood and nodded. You chose the basement and whilst you plopped down on the beanbag at the corner of the room immediately, you could see Dowoon standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do.

"You can just practice the drums or watch some movies. No pressure of social interaction."

Dowoon then chose to sit behind the drums and you allowed yourself to be absorbed into the world of romance and self-discovery expertly crafted by Jojo Moyes. In the background, you could hear the drums starting out soft but as the sun dipped over the horizon, it got louder. For the last piece, you requested a piece.

“Play You were Beautiful for me.”

Dowoon looked at you briefly before starting to play. You listened to the drum solo of your favourite song in rapt attention, smiling wider each time a new part passed without a mistake from him. When the last bang faded out into the night, you proudly announced:

“No mistakes at all Dowoon, You did great!”

Upon hearing your compliment, the poor boy blushed a deep shade of red but he gave you a small smile nonetheless.

“But we still need to work on helping you loosen up, the tension is still there.”

He deflated a little, a grimace on his face.

Despite that, Dowoon learnt something new today: he could now play the drums in front of someone he knew comfortably and sitting with you in silence was actually really comforting.

**Step 2:**

Dowoon got there 30 minutes earlier. You had said to meet at Piccolo at 7pm but being worried that he was going to be late, he left his house earlier than he should. He played with the leaves of the flowers that he got you – he had stopped by his grandmother’s flower shop earlier on and seeing him all dressed up nicely for a girl, she had insisted on sending him off with flowers in hand for you. The bouquet he picked out for you had  a nice mixture of peonies, lilies and dandelions all arranged nicely in different shades of pink and white and he smile a little at the thought of you receiving it.

At 7pm sharp, the chorus of staff greetings announced your arrival and you smiled widely when he waved you over. Tonight you chose to wear a soft pink dress that matched the flowers that he had picked out for you – he couldn’t be happier at his choice.

“A dinner jacket and polished shoes? You’ve outdone yourself Dowoon, I look so under-dressed next to you gosh!”

Your statement sent Dowoon into a fluster and he immediately waved his hands.

“Nono! You look great tonight Y/N!” Upon hearing those words leave his lips, he turned into a deep shade of pink and so did you – he was not used to giving compliments to girls and you were not used to receiving them.

To clear the awkwardness that was lingering, Dowoon spoke up first.

“I actually got you something…”

“Oh you didn’t have to! Why did you – ”

But when he presented you with the flowers, you couldn’t finish your sentence anymore.

“YOU GOT ME FLOWERS EEPPP!!!” You took over the flowers gratefully and admired each one of them, love shining out of your eyes.

“Thank you so much Dowoon, they’re absolutely lovely.”

“Do you…like them?”

“I love them. You know, this is the first time that someone has gotten me flowers.”

Dowoon had turned from pink to red now but he was glad that he could be the first to present such a lovely lady like you with flowers.

“Now let’s move on to the real thing Dowoon. You know how they say when people eat we can look ungraceful right?”

“Right.”

“So today, we’re going to learn how to be comfortable showing that ugly side of ours to one another. I’m in this with you ok? I’m also really nervous about showing off that ugly side – what if I scare you away?”

 _You’ll still look pretty even when you think you’re ugly Y/N._ – but of course he kept that thought to himself.

That evening, both of you ate and laughed to your hearts content and by the end of the night, Dowoon no longer cared if he talked with his mouth full of food or spilled sauce all over the table. He was now completely carefree about showing off that ugly side to you. You talked with an excited voice and wild hand gestures as you narrated interesting stories or funny jokes and to his surprise, Dowoon learnt that he loved seeing this side of you – raw, and completely honest.

At the end of the night once he had dropped you off outside your house (under Jae’s watchful eye), Dowoon had already learnt how to not care about his image in front of others and just be himself freely, but he also learnt that he liked the sound of your laughter very much.

**Step 3:**

“Movie-time! Pick one!”

You handed Dowoon a bunch of discs and he chose the romantic comedy “200 Pounds Beauty”

“Good choice – I love that movie!”

“It’s my favourite.”

“Mine too!”

You started the movie as Dowoon offered to grab the snacks and he walked in as the opening credits started to play.

“Hurry Dowoon! It’s starting now!”

Hurrying over to you, Dowoon plopped down on the seat next of you without hesitation, kneecaps and elbows brushing. Both of you munched on chocolate and popcorn together, the loud crunching sounds filling the space between both of you. He watched in amusement as you laughed and belted out hit songs from the movie, slapping your palm against his kneecap each time as you howled from the laughter – but not like he minded anyways. In between, Dowoon would comment on something regarding the movie and his facial expressions change drastically, sending you into further fits of laughter. He would laugh along with you, happy to see that you were enjoying yourself.

But at the end when waterfalls were leaking from your eyes as the ending credits rolled on the screen, Dowoon carefully put his arm over your shoulders and pulled you into his chest, stroking your hair softly as you let out all the emotions from the movie. He chuckled a little at your reaction, which earned him an angry retort from you.

“Don’t laugh at me Yoon Dowoon! This movie is touching alright…”

“I know.”

“But you weren’t even paying attention to the movie!”

_Because I was paying more attention to you Y/N-ah._

Dowoon learnt the art of physical comfort with someone of the opposite gender that day but he also learnt one other thing: romantic comedies were the way to make you cry and laugh at the same time.

**Step 4:**

It was finally the end of finals and Dowoon had suggested bringing you to the amusement park today. You agreed but you face fell when you saw the long snaking queue in front of the cashier. Dowoon watched as your crestfallen face changed as he showed you two pre-booked tickets.

“You’re so smart Dowoon, thinking of buying tickets in advance when all I can think of is finishing finals.”

“Of course.” He said that with a rise of his eyebrows and quirk of his lips.

“Oh look the Viking!” You rushed forward a little, leaving a chuckling Dowoon behind as he watched the childlike joy spread out over your face.

“Dowoon quickly come!” You turned back and held out your hand – which Dowoon gladly took as you took off down the street with him in tow.

-

For the rest of the day both of you rushed around the entire amusement park trying to try as many rides as possible and you held his hand most of the time. You squeezed tight when you sat on the thrill rides – his warm and strong hands served as your anchor to the world. Other times you refused to let go because you were afraid of losing him in the crowd – you were worried that he’ll find you annoying because of this. So when the crowd dwindled as the evening settled in, you quickly let go of his hands.

“Ok we can let go now.”

“But why? I like it like this.”

Before your fingers could slip through his, Dowoon closed his fingers around yours and placed your hands deep within his jacket pockets.

“Hey how about we go to those funfairs over there? I’ll show you my sharp shooting.”

“Ok.” Your last word came out as a breathless whisper and if Dowoon wasn’t watching your lips closely, he would have missed it.

Walking under the street lamps together, Dowoon continued holding onto your hand even though he had his other hand full with bags of your soft toys that he had won for you earlier. With your free hand, you fed him cotton candy on the stick and at one point of time both of you had ate the cotton candy together.

“Did we just have a cotton candy kiss Y/N?”

“I guess you could say so.”

You then pulled him to a stop before eyeing him closely.

“Who are you, and what have you done to Yoon Dowoon? Poor boy would be blushing by now but you look so carefree now… jubilant even!”

“All I can say is that I have a great teacher.”

You shook your head in disbelief – gone was the shy Yoon Dowoon that you knew from before.

You kissed him goodbye on the cheek that night and as he lay in bed unable to sleep and missing your touch, he decided he had learnt another thing today: He liked holding your hand, but he liked your kisses much more.

**Step 5:**

You were backstage before the school finals and the rest of the boys had gone off for their lunch break, leaving Dowoon and you alone in the room.

“Ok so here’s the last course Dowoon.”

“So what is it?”

“Eye-contact.”

Dowoon visibly gulped – how could he possibly sit through this without doing anything silly?

“The eyes are the windows to the soul and to me they are the most intimate form of contact someone can have with someone else. So if you can survive this, I can officially say that you’ve graduated from my course haha!”

You bent down to his eye level, your faces mere inches from one another.

“10 seconds starts now.”

-

With each passing second, Dowoon could feel his heart speeding up, his breath hitching whenever he realized how close you were. Dowoon was trying so hard to focus on not kissing since that day at the amusement park but the situation right now wasn’t helping his case.

At all.

Leaning forward, he watched as your eyes grew wide from the contact, realization dawning upon you. Yoon Dowoon was kissing you on his own initiative and you wondered if you were just making this up or if this was real.

But when he placed his hands on your face to pull you closer, you knew it was real and you kissed him back with the same amount of passion, lips melding together. Dowoon only pulled away for oxygen and you announced in a shaky voice,

“Yea you’re definitely ready to graduate.”

“I think I might as well have earned a master degree with that move just now.”

“Yea I think so too.”

-

That day, Dowoon played without a hitch at the school festival and when he kissed you again, he learnt another thing – that his girlfriend’s lips tasted extremely sweet and all he wants to do is kiss them for the rest of his life.


	16. Untold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Wonpil x You
> 
> Genre: angst, slice of life, slight fluff
> 
> Words: 4.6k
> 
> Description: the unlikely friendship – and the discovery that comes with it.

 

Her voice rings in his head long after she’s gone. Now he’s just sitting alone in the classroom as the sun sets, the blinding light hitting him right in the face as the walls bathe in orange. But the piercing light doesn’t bother him one bit – the nagging unease scratching away at his heart does as he replays Ms Kim’s words over and over again.

-

_"Wonpil-ah, could you come over here for a while?"_

_"Ok, just a second." He placed the broom by the corner of the room before settling himself in the seat in front of Ms Kim._

_"I need your help Wonpil."_

_Her expression was grim, her lips drawn into a tight line. Instead of asking him for help, she made him feel as though he was about to be reprimanded for something he did wrong._

_"Is it writing for the school magazine? I can do it by next week."_

_"No Wonpil, it's something more serious than that. I need you to tutor Y/N.”_

_This statement shocks Wonpil a little – why him of all people? He wasn’t even close to you. As if she could read his mind, she answered his question swiftly._

_“I know you must be wondering why you – when you aren’t even close to her, plus you’re class president and part of the school band; you’re a busy man. I understand all that Wonpil, but you’re the only one suitable for the job. You top the cohort consistently and you have the patience to nurture and teach – I trust that you’ll be able to help her. You know she hasn't been doing well and it's more urgent this year since all of you will be sitting for your college entrance exams. Do me a favour and help her ok?"_

_Even though she ended with  a question, Wonpil knew she wasn’t giving him a choice. He simply nods in understanding as she stands to leave._

_-_

Wonpil puts his head behind his head and squeezes his eyes shut as he lets out a deep sigh.

Y/N – why does this name make him feel so bad? In his mind, Wonpil tries to conjure an image of you and all he can picture is a girl whom always had her head down, never willing to look at anyone in the eye.

A girl that was always shunned and mocked by others. Although, why again? Wonpil tries to recall if you ever did anything to anyone to deserve such a response but come to think of it, he doesn't even remember you speaking to anyone at all. He’s been your classmate since middle school and high school, but he doesn’t know anything about you. Why don’t you have friends? Why are you constantly being scolded by teachers for your tardy appearance and work? Why don’t you ever talk to anyone? His lack of knowledge about you has him balling up in shame – as class president all these years, he feels personally responsible. His job is to make sure everyone in class progresses together but has he, really? How was it that you had fallen through the cracks but he hasn’t even noticed?

_I’m going to help her in any way I can – that’s my duty._

-

Wonpil was your seatmate with effect the next day. Your eyes grew wide when you saw him in the seat beside yours, which was far away from his usual seat at the front of the class. But you quickly schooled your features back to neutral, keeping your eyes firmly fixed on the ground. You settled into your seat stiffly, ignoring his greeting.

"Y/N, if you need help with anything I'm right here."

Once again, you gave him the cold shoulder. Hesitation in his eyes, he gives you a lingering look before turning his attention back to the front. Math class proceeded as usual and Wonpil’s hands never stopped copying, his brain never stopped processing – there was simply so much to take in. So when your hands stilled, he knew you were stuck.

“Y/N do you need help with that question?”

It was as if Wonpil had set off some trigger, his words scalding your ears. Before he could even do so much as lift a finger in your direction, you snatched your book and pen out of his sight as a fierce rejection left your lips.

“No. Just leave me alone.”

Angling your body away from him, you continued to struggle on your own, adamantly refusing any offers of help from him. Still shocked by your sudden outburst, Wonpil stared wide-eyed at your back – unsure of what he had done to elicit such a response from you. But nonetheless, he remained unfazed. Over the course of the day, he constantly looked out for you, asking you if you were doing alright but you gave him a scowl each time – making it clearly known that his help was unwelcome.

This became a vicious cycle – him constantly offering to help, and you retreating more and more. No matter how many times he asked, you simply won’t let him in. In the beginning, you would still bother to open your mouth to say “No” or scowl at him, but gradually, you just began to treat him as though he was invisible. Today was no different.

-

“Hey Y/N let’s study together now? We can work on the latest Chemistry assignment together.”

With a zip of his bag, Wonpil turned to face you but you had already bounded out of the door. Unfortunately for you, you had bumped into Brian– causing your precious time to be wasted.

“Watch where you’re going.” With a backward glare thrown at you, he walked off towards Wonpil as you dashed down the hallway, not even bothering to apologize. Wonpil watched the scene unfold with unease – slightly angry that Brian had treated you so harshly. Brian plopped down on the table, rotating his shoulders where you had bumped into him squarely. He muttered something about you as detest dripped from his eyes,

“She’s such a freak. Don’t even know why she’s in such a hurry each day – she can’t even spare the time to look where she’s going.”

To make matters worse, Jae had to chip in.

“Probably rushing to be with other freaks, who knows what she’s up to anyways?” Both Brian and Jae then laughed at their mockery of you, before fist-bumping one another. Wonpil, however, wasn’t stomaching this very well.

“Quit it! Stop being so mean, what she ever done to you? It was an accident Brian, she didn’t mean it.”

Brain then snapped back – both in anger and disbelief of his defense of you.

“Why do you even care so much about her? What has she ever done for you? All you do it get trampled on by her – since when has she ever been nice to your offers of help? Just in case you didn’t notice because you’re becoming too much like her, I was the one injured in this episode, not her.”

“Yea man, what’s up with you geez. I don’t even get why you care for her so much, she’s an outcast Wonpil. Don’t spend too much time with her before you become like her.”

Wonpil was now fuming mad at both their comments and he couldn’t bear to be part of this conversation anymore.

“I can’t reason with your thick skulls; until both of you have developed some consideration for others, this conversation ends here.”

Slamming the door shut on his way out, Wonpil didn’t stop fuming until he got to his house. They’re his friends, but their words and actions were absolutely uncalled for. However, their comments do beg the question – where do you rush off to everyday after school?

-

The next day, Wonpil disappeared from class a few minutes before lessons ended and didn't come back since. Of course, you didn't wait around for his return, you simply got up and left like you always did. You dashed off in the direction of home but why does it feel like someone was following you? 

-

Wonpil didn't expect you to be _that_ fast. You threw quick glances over your shoulder every now and then and so many times, you nearly caught him. You walked exceptionally fast too and he had to literally run after you to make sure that he didn't lose you. By the time you stopped, he was drenched in sweat beneath his black hoodie. As much as he wanted to just collapse, he had some common sense to make sure that he was well-hidden behind the wall before sticking his head out to observe the scene.

“Mother I’m here.”

“Thank goodness. Dear, could you help me check the new batch of spices that just here? I need to attend to your siblings.”

“I got it.”

The sounds of loud wailing can be heard over the rumbling engine and Wonpil watched as you meticulously checked each crate before hauling the heavy boxes one by one to the back of the store. The boxes left nasty scratches down your forearms, the rough material cutting through your delicate skin – Wonpil now understood why you wore long sleeves even on hot summer days; you had something you wanted to hide. For the rest of the afternoon, he watched as you ran around the family store without rest. You either had to attend to customers or deal with your siblings, a girl and a boy that looked like they can’t be above age 8.

 

When the skies turned indigo, you pulled the shutters down over the shop with your mother but instead of leaving together, you bade her goodbye and walked away from the direction of your home.

_Where is she heading to now?_

Wonpil needed the answer to that question – and so he followed. Your footsteps led you to the back of Aurora – the most expensive restaurant in the entire city.

_So she works here?_

And indeed you do. Through the big floor-to-ceiling glass panes, it gave him a very clear view of you hurrying around the busy restaurant – a skillful balancing act of handling trays full of heavy trays of beverages and food and remembering long list of orders. Even as the night got busier and your co-workers offered to help you, you rejected them politely with a smile, waving them off as you walked around the tables. Despite the weariness that showed around your eyes, the professional smile never slipped off your face through the long night.

 

But when you trudged home that night, your sagged shoulders and dragged footsteps made it clear that you were thoroughly exhausted. Wonpil kept a sharp eye on you all the way till you passed the threshold of your house. From his position, he could see you hunched over your desk, twirling a pen in the air as you tried to do your homework. He wasn’t sure how much time passed before the light from your room was extinguished.

 

At that moment, his wristwatch read: **03:00**

 

Under the dim lighting from the rusty street lamps, he scanned the exterior of your house with its cracking and faded paint. The metal on the front gate was rusting, the paint job clearly done decades ago. The hinges of your door were falling apart and looked hastily put back together by a non-professional – Wonpil assumed it was you. The entire house looked decrepit – marks of age and neglect showing itself in all the nooks and crannies.  

 

-

Trudging home that night, a million thoughts ran through his mind, each one making guilt and frustration bubble in him.

 

_All this while I never knew that this was how she had been living. Being her classmate for so many years… why was it that I never even bothered to ask? Why did no one extend a helping hand to her, not even me? Rushing home immediately after school to help with the family and then having to work a night job before struggling with school till 3am. And the condition of her house… That’s not how a girl her age should live._

But what was more apparent to Wonpil was that you desperately needed help, but yet you weren’t accepting any.

For his lack of better judgement and inability to hold in the frustration anymore, he slammed his fist against the brick wall before placing his forehead against it in defeat.

_Why won’t you let me in Y/N? Why won’t you accept any help from me or anyone at all? What other untold stories do you have?_

**-**

For an entire week, Wonpil continues to shadow you and the same cycle repeats itself. There wasn't a day where you slept before 3am and on the weekends it seems worse - you'll work overtime and not get any sleep at all. There were so many times when he wanted to storm up to your house and put you into bed but he didn't want to get arrested for trespassing or give your mother a heart attack. He stood by and simply watched as you worked yourself to the bones - both of you helpless and powerless.

The only thing he does to vaguely help is patronize the Aurora. He'll stay for as long as you did and then secretly tipping you at the end of every night. A small bubble of happiness raises in him when he sees the small glimmer of hope in your eyes but both of you knew that the help you needed was far greater than this.

He stayed in the shadows all this while, silently watching over you. 

-

Until one day when you didn't turn up in school. Wonpil felt so odd that entire day - your absence screaming louder in the void of his mind. Irrational thoughts filled his head - did you drop out of school? Were you badly injured?

But it turns out that you simply sick.

"Wonpil-ah, this is Y/N address. Could you go down to pass her her work, and maybe just check up on her too."

But he didn't need the address anyways - it was already stored in his memory.

-

It took a few good moments of pacing around outside your house before he finally worked up the guts to ring your doorbell.

 

**Y/N POV**

I wasn't expecting him at all. He was the last person on earth that I expected to show up at my doorstep. But despite my usual nonchalance towards him, I still unconsciously ran my fingers through my hair, trying to tame it as much as I can. My eyes rapidly darted around as I chewed on my bottom lip; I was trying hard to look at everywhere but him.

"Hi Y/N."

"Hi Wonpil."

"Can I come inside?" 

I stepped aside to let him before directing him around my house.

"Just step where I step. The rest of the floorboards are rotting."

I faced the front quickly before moving on - I can't stand to see his look of pity that I knew would surely come. Pulling out the wooden dining chair for him, I poured him a cup of water before setting it down in front of him. 

"Here. I'm sorry but this is all I have to offer."

Staring at the tin mug and plain wooden furniture, I thought about how this was all such a stark comparison to the comfortable lifestyle that Wonpil has. My entire house is rotting and the interior is threadbare. Everything must look so pathetic and I became very self-conscious of this as I sank back further into the kitchen counter, my nails carving half-moons into the soft wood. A heartbeat later, his answer came. 

"Don't be sorry, this is alright."

I snapped my head up to look at him and his eyes do not betray his words. In them, I saw no judgment and prejudice against me, only genuine concern. 

_Why is he being so nice to me? I don't understand._

He must have noticed my furrowed eyebrows because he was now doing the same.

"Are you ok? Do you need a rest?"

"No I'm fine. But what brings you here?"

"School work and..."

Both of us waited in silence for him to continue speaking and when he did, it was so full of sincerity that I continued hanging on to the last wisps of his words, desperately wishing that he'll say more.

"And I wanted to check up on you to make sure that you're doing alright. I was...worried about you." He then fiddled with his fingers, he himself unsure how the words he just said came out.

_Worried for you._

Those words sounded so foreign. When was the last time that someone apart from my mother cared about me? Perhaps none. And now, a boy that I barely know says he's worried for me, that he cares about me. I knew better than to sink into this flitting sense of bliss but a part of me couldn't help but keep his words stored in my heart, caressing it like how a mother would to her precious firstborn. I let myself indulge in this delusional bliss before replying him.

“Thanks…”

“Don’t go to work today.”

“How do you know I work?”

The color drained from his face rapidly but he managed to give me an answer nonetheless.

“Oh I was at the restaurant some other night and I saw you working. I didn’t greet you because I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Oh.” _That is possible, he can afford to dine there and that fact is no secret._

“Promise me you won’t work today.”

Now my hackles were raised, and my defensive mode was on.

“Why? Why are you so adamant trying to stop me from working?”

“You’re sick Y/N! Look at you! You can’t even stand up straight, how can you expect to work tonight?”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I don’t own you an explanation!”

His constant prying was now pissing me off and the pounding headache wasn’t helping my case.

“Y/N…”

“Just please… stop asking and leave now.”

His clenched jaws and defeated eyes told me that I had won – without even saying goodbye, he left and when the door closed shut with a definite click, I allowed myself to collapse to the floor, the exhaustion and pain leaking out from my eyes.

Pressing my palms against my eyes, I kept repeating the same lines mentally over and over again.

 _You don’t understand, you don’t understand, you don’t understand_ …

This constant reminder of my helplessness didn’t make me feel any better and as sobs wrecked my body and grief takes it hold around my throat, I dig my nails into my face, hoping the pain would go away.

**Wonpil POV**

Rooted to the ground, I continued staring at her house at my wits end – what else must I possibly do to make her open up?

“Don’t take it personally young man; she treats everyone like that. Poor child… ”

I turned to face the source and I found an elderly man watering his plants next door, a look of resignation on his face as his eyes travelled between Y/N’s house and me – he must know something that I don’t.

“What do you know about Y/N?”

“Nothing but pain for the young girl – she didn’t grow up in a good family.”

“What do you mean?”

“Her father ran off when she was young, leaving the family in debt. She’s been helping her mother clear off the debts her father left behind ever since she could work. She might be cold but don’t blame her or judge her for it – she didn’t grow up being taught how to love the world when it’s so cruel to her.”

All I could do is mumble out a feeble “thanks” before turning to stare back at her house. That piece of information didn’t make me judge her more – it made me understand her better.

-

Needless to say, you didn’t pay heed to Wonpil’s words. At 6pm sharp, you left your house in your white working blouse and black trousers and as you stepped through the kitchen doors, you took a deep breath, bracing yourself for the night ahead.

From his spot on the second level, Wonpil had a clear bird’s eye view of the entire place and it didn’t take him long to find you with your distinctive hairstyle. He cursed and swore mentally – berating you for being so stubborn. But he couldn’t just drag you out from the place; you’ll have a hard time explaining to your manager if he did that. Despite his growing frustration, all he could do was sit and wait, hoping to catch you later on the way home instead.

The night steadily grew busier – a never-ending line of customers leaving and entering the place. You rushed around from place to place, sweating even under the strong air-conditioning. The crowd was beginning to get wild and it was simply too much for you handle; it was only a matter of time before you made a mistake.

You didn’t even know how it happened – your tired eyes misjudged the distance and when you let go, the shrill sounds of successive crystal glasses smashing into a million pieces silenced the entire place. Customers and co-workers alike waited in bated breath for your verdict and all you were aware of was your ragged breathing, rapid heartbeat and the sight of the broken crystals shards. Before you could make another move, you were yanked out of the restaurant harshly by your enraged manager.

From above, Wonpil squeezed past tables of people, not caring about the rude words and stares that he had gotten – just to get to you.

-

**Y/N POV**

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU Y/N? HOW COULD YOU MAKE SUCH A BIG MISTAKE?”

“I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to -” Before I could even explain myself, he held up a hand.

“I don’t care about your bloody reasons Y/N. You’re going to have to pay $2000 for those cups.”

I felt like my whole world has just came crashing down. **$2000.** That’s my family’s living expenses for 6 months. I don’t have that kind of money.

“Please, I don’t have that sort of money. I’ll work extra!”

“I SAID I DON’T CARE Y/N. JUST PAY UP NOW!”

From my right, a few bills were thrown into my manager’s face before a familiar voice reached my ears.

“If you want your money so much, take it.”

Before I could open my mouth to say anything, I was dragged away from the scene by Wonpil.

-

Wonpil dragged you all the way home and he only let go of your wrists when he was outside your gates. Turning to you with disappointment and mild anger, he was about to scold you but he stopped, unable to carry on at the sight in front of him.

Tears were brimming in your eyes as you trembled like a leaf on a frigid November night, your footing unsteady. Gulping, it took you so much effort before you croaked out a few words.

“Are you…are you the one that’s been tipping me this past one week?”

“Yes.”

You made a choking sound before running your fingers through your disheveled hair, burying your head in your hands as you tried to squeeze the world out.

Stepping towards you, Wonpil called out softly to you but what he wasn’t expecting were your fists. “Y/N…”

“DON’T TALK TO ME KIM WONPIL! Why did you do it? Huh? Why did you help me? Did I ever ask for help?”

With each sentence, you punched his chest with your fist as you stepped forward; and he simply stepped backwards each time, letting you vent your anger.

“Why? Why do you keep doing the things I told you not to? WHY!” By now you were in hysteria, shaking the angry tears away as you repeatedly rained your fists upon him.

In  a swift movement, Wonpil caught hold of both your wrists and pulled you into him, trapping you between his arms and chest. You continued to resist him for a few moments but your intense outburst had burned you out and realizing that there was nowhere to run anymore, you simply let your defenses down as you sobbed freely into his chest.

Wonpil didn’t say a word or make another movement – all he did was stand there as he tried to hold a broken girl together to keep her from falling apart.

When your sobs evened out, Wonpil then spoke up, his words travelling to the depths of your heart.

“I know about your family situation Y/N, don’t ask me how, just trust me when I say I do. I don’t claim to understand what you’ve been through or how you feel because I don’t but I just want to ask you something – why don’t you accept help from anyone?”

He could feel it when your delicate lips moved against his collarbone, your answer so faint it stayed between the two of you.

“My family is in this state because of debts. I don’t want help from people because I don’t want to own anyone anything.”

“Then I want you to know this Y/N: you don’t own me anything. I don’t do these things in hopes of getting some sort of return from you – no, I don’t. Also, it’s alright to accept help when you really need it – we’re all not superheroes that can solve all the problems. Sometimes, it’s ok to ask for help even after you’ve tried to solve something by yourself. Remember what I said before?”

“That you’re here if I ever need anything?

“Yes. I’ll do good on that promise.”

Another heartbeat passes before he speaks up.

“Please just… let me in… I don’t want to see you struggling alone anymore. I won’t try to change you, but I will try to help you in any way I can. But first you got to let me in ok?”

When your arms wrap around his waist, Wonpil doesn’t have to hear the words to know you’ve said “yes”

-

**Epilogue**

You rub your hands and press them to your lips as you scanned the list of students on the board. When you found your name, realization slowly dawned upon you…

_I can go to college. I have to tell Wonpil!_

Squeezing past the crowd of clamoring students, you found Wonpil leaning against the wall, smiling ever since he caught sight of you squeezing through the crowd.

“You did well didn’t you? I knew you could do it!”

Too overwhelmed with emotion, you simply threw yourself into his arms as you hung onto him tightly, as though he was your one and only lifeline to this world.

“Why are you being like this?” His tone was half amusement, half concern as he ran his hands up and down your back in a soothing motion. When he felt his shoulders getting wet, that’s when he gently pried you off before looking at you.

“Why? What’s wrong? Please don’t cry, you did great Y/N!”

“It’s…not…because of that.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I’m crying out of happiness. Thank you Wonpil, just thank you…” You muttered a few more “thank you” before Wonpil had to stop you.

“I know Y/N, I know. You did great and I’m proud of you! Smile a little ok!” He held onto your face gently as he wiped the tears from your eyes, and you nodded, telling him that you understood.

“Don’t cry anymore, I got something else to tell you.”

You opened your eyes in time to see him dive in, feeling the press of his warm lips against your forehead.

Then, you heard your own words reflected back at you.

“I love you Y/N.”


	17. Bass Pulse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Young K x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, romance
> 
> Words: 2.3k
> 
> Description: when the bass reverberates within you, there’s no fighting it – the story of how Young K tries to teach you bass
> 
> Author’s note: The opening scene is inspired by the story “Paris for One” by Jojo Moyes – highly recommend her books if you’re looking for romance and slice of life stories rolled into one!

 

**Y/N POV**

I’m at my wits end. I’ve been trying for hours, but I still couldn’t get this particular chord progression right! No matter how many times I’ve listened to the same piece over and over again, certain that I’ve already memorized the timing and correct sequence of chords, I still couldn’t get the right timing and I end up messing up the rest of the song. I fumble with pressing and plucking the right chords and by now, my fingers were raw, the tip of them stinging with pain on the cold winter night. I set the bass down for a while, sinking into the soft sofa as my hands shivered from the overexertion, the slight tremors a sensation unwelcome by my body.

I glared at my bass guitar with loathing and hatred, as though it was his fault that I couldn’t play it well.

_One more time. One more shot at this. If I still can’t get it, then I’m calling it a day._

-

**Young K POV**

I’m not going to lie. That bass guitar playing was really awful.

I was on the way back to the dorm after spending the entire studio cooped up in the studio practicing bass with cups of black coffee to get me through. I managed to leave with my fingers red but heart satisfied; the method of keeping me awake and sane once again tested and proven. I was expecting a quiet, peaceful walk back but as usual, life likes to surprise you a little. The window was open so I could hear each chord that broke through the silent night very clearly. The pre-chorus started out very well – the progression were smooth and on time, staying through to the original composer’s idea of the song. The chorus was where he or she messed up really badly. The timing between each chord was off and the note didn’t come out the way it should – it sounded like a piece being haphazardly put together, like patches on a piece of quilt work.  Towards the end, the player was just playing however she liked and I’m not even sure if I can call that music anymore – it seems more like individual notes being put together in desperation. When the song ended, the sound of a dying whale can be heard from the open balcony and I had to place a hand over my mouth to prevent myself from laughing out loud.

_Let’s try something now…_

Unzipping my bag, I took out my bass, and simply began to play the exact same song.

-

**Y/N POV**

_Nope, I still can’t get it._

Letting out a strangled cry from my throat as I buried my head in the hands, I berated myself for the poor playing just now – wondering how on earth I am going to be presentable for new performance, _Maybe I should call Megan and tell her that I can’t do it._

I had typed out the message swiftly and was all ready to press send – until I heard the sound of my savior.

The first few chords started out low and deliberate, giving me the feeling of a predator creeping up on a prey. With the hairs of on the back of my neck standing and nerves tingling, I went out to the balcony and looked down below at the source – and I was captivated the moment I laid eyes on him.

He played the bass like he owned it, the guitar doing his bidding with every pluck and press of the strings. His entire body swayed with the music, his face a mixture of concentration and ecstasy as he switched between carrying the music, and letting the music carry him instead. It was like watching a magic show, him the magician and me the audience; I completely submitted to him, the magic of his music ensnaring me within his grasp.

When he ended, he turned to look at me, clearly aware that I was watching him all this while. He then tried to suppress a smile as I stared with my mouth agape. He then opened his mouth to say the words I’ve been wanting to hear.

“I can teach you how to play bass if you want to.”

I closed my mouth and nodded – I wasn’t going to let this chance slip away.

-

The next day, you ended up outside a studio with your bass slung around your shoulders before you knocked on the door.

A familiar voice came through – “Come in!”

Peeking a head through, you greeted Brian before stepping into the threshold. He hastily cleared away empty coffee cups and scattered pieces of paper filled with black ink.

“Rushing a deadline?”

“Yea, it’s just pure madness at this point in time. I’m so sorry you had to see this mess.”

“It’s alright, I’m used to such a sight.”

His raised eyebrows indicated that you should probably explain yourself.

“I’m part of a school band and this is how it looks like on days when we aren’t practicing.”

“Ah~ you can hand me your bass now.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll just do some tuning for you, I could hear some loose chords last night.”

Without another word, you slung the bass of your shoulder and passed it to him. You leaned against the table as he sat down on the sofa, placing the bass against his thighs. Craning his head forward, he begun plucking the strings.

Brian didn’t know why he was so casual about giving bass lessons to someone he barely knew – it was intangible and he couldn’t put the feeling into words but he just didn’t have that guard up around you. He didn’t even know he did what he did last night! Before he knew it, you were already exchanging numbers and here you were now watching him. But still, he had to be sure that you didn’t know his true identity.

“Hey, do you know a band called Day6?”

“Yes. I listen to them and I think my friend likes them.”

“Then do you know of the members?”

“Nope. I just like their songs but I hadn’t had the time to really find out more about the members yet.”

“Hmmm”

_Great, she doesn’t know my true identity._

Brian seemed so casual asking you those questions but you were a mess inside. Here was a ridiculously attractive man helping you tune your guitar and you were failing terribly at trying not to stare at him so openly. You watched as his fingers moved expertly around the bass, the look of concentration on his face making him look a hundred times hotter.

_Stop it Y/N! Stop being so thirsty for men gosh what’s wrong with you?_

“All done. Now we can start proper.”

He then smiled sweetly at you and you swore under your breath – if it weren’t for the table, your knees would have given way.

-

Since that day, you’ve been spending every waking hour with Brian in some sort of way. If he wasn’t teaching you bass physically, he was texting you. He would randomly send you photos of his day, but mostly photos of his new hair color and food. You would always smile and giggle to yourself when you look at his funny captions or comical facial expressions over the screen, happy that he allowed you to be part of his world. As for Brian, he was happy that you’ll always reply his messages because you sincerely wanted to know about his day. He didn’t know how something as simple as teaching you how to play could turn into friendship and now, something foreign but not entirely unwelcome was stirring up within him. Was this what an inkling of love felt like? Brian wasn’t sure yet, but he was sure that he liked spending time with you.

And so every night, both of you would lie in bed wide awake, talking to the moon and wondering if the other felt the same way.

-

Today, Brian was going to challenge you with a particularly tough piece but you still weren’t confident in playing in yet.

“Brian I’m going to practice a little first. You can carry on with you other work.”

“Sure. Let me know when you’re ready.”

Licking your lips in nervousness, you began plucking the strings tentatively but your insecurity was showing – both you and Brian knew this fact. Yet, you refused to ask Brian for help, worried that your heart would go into overdrive if he came close. However, his actions weren’t for you to decide and when you heard him get up from the chair to come behind you, you began to brace yourself for the mad blushing that would come.

Placing his head beside yours, he gently closed his hands around yours before guiding your fingers on how to pluck the correct strings with the correct amount of strength. But by now, you weren’t paying attention to his lessons anymore – you were more focused on trying to calm your wild heart and steady your breaths. His sweet breath in your ear sent shivers down your neck and his warm hands over yours set all your nerves on fire – and suddenly, every sensation you felt became magnified by a thousand-fold.

“Do you understand now?”

You nodded your head slowly, not trusting yourself to be able to make another sound.

“That’s good.”

As both your hands shivered slightly from the close contact, both of you were will well aware that the shivers weren’t due to the cold and it dawned on both of you that there was no turning back now.

_Oh shit._

-

 **“Bri”** lighted up on your phone screen and you swiped the green button.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N sorry to bother you, were you asleep already?”

“Not at all. What’s up?”

“So erm… I have this new song that I just wrote and I was hoping that you’ll sing a part of it?”

You couldn’t believe your ears – you, singing, for a Brian track?

“I would love to but…”

“But…?”

“I don’t want to make people go deaf!”

“No you won’t! I’m sure you’ll do fine! Please just try…?”

You know that he wasn’t going to force you if you didn’t want to but you could hear the pleading tone in his voice – after all that he’s done to help you with playing bass, the least you could do it is help him out right?

“I’ll help you but if I suck you have to tell me honestly ok?”

“Thank you Y/N! WOO!”

You smiled to yourself – you can already imagine him jumping up from the chair and leaping around the studio.

-

“This is a really sweet song. A special someone I suppose?”

“No, they’re just experiences from others that I’ve tried to put into words.”

“Ah… Let’s start recording? I think I got the feeling of how this goes.”

“Sure.”

You gave your all into recording the song, and you enjoyed the experience of doing it with Brian and at the end of the song, you let pure joy spill forth as laughter as both you stared into each other’s eyes and realizing how much you appreciated being with the other.

In that moment, everything was picture perfect, except that you didn’t know that you were singing about yourself.

-

**Epilogue**

Day6 had just dropped a new album and your band mates were the first to get their hands on the album and here the five of you were – seated in the studio as their new songs played over the speaker.

Everything was going fine – until you heard your voice over the speakers.

“Wait is that…” Lisa, your friend had only began to speak until Emily shut her up. All eyes were now of you as your voice played over the speakers and the laughter at the end – that was unmistakably you. You recognized the song – this was the track that you recorded with Brian a month ago. Before anyone could pepper you with questions, you confirmed your own suspicions yourself.

“Show me a photo of Day6.”

Lisa didn’t need telling twice. She immediately showed you a group photo and there he was staring back at you – those unique feline eyes and angular features definitely belonged to the Brain you knew.

“Look, more proof.”

“Give me that.”

You began to scan each line of Brain’s “Thanks to” (or should you say Young K) instead and the last line confirmed your suspicions.

**_“This is for my greatest muse – the last track is for you.”_ **

“Excuse me, I have to go.”

Legs racing and heart pumping, you didn’t stop till you got to his studio, where you burst into his studio without even knocking.

“You’re Young K from Day6!”

Amused, Brian chuckled. “Took you long enough to figure that out.”

In slight anger, you smacked the bassist across his shoulders.

“How could you lie to me!”

“I didn’t lie! I really am Brian! But perhaps I just left out the part where I am a member of Day6?”

“ARGH BRIAN!!!”

“Calm down Y/N! I suppose you heard the song already?”

“Yes I did – gosh – you!”

“What about me?”

“You just confessed publicly and now the whole world knows and I feel like a fool for not knowing your true identity!”

You covered your face in embarrassment, horrified at how dense you were.

Gently prying your hands from your face, Brian replaced them with his own as he made you look into his eyes.

“One, yes I just did. Two, it doesn’t matter if the whole world knows, I want the whole world to know that I love you. Three, you’re not a fool, you’re just really innocent. Four…”

“What’s number four?”

“Do you feel the same way?”

“After you just publicly professed your love, I don’t think I have the heart to say no.”

You watched as he grinned from ear to ear before pressing his lips against yours.

“Now I can finally say that I know what loves feels like.”


	18. Liquor, love and lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Young K x You
> 
> Genre: romance
> 
> Words: 1.6k
> 
> Description: bartender!au
> 
> Warnings: Some suggestive content ahead – please do not read if you are uncomfortable with such themes.

Title: Liquor, love and lust

Characters: DAY6 Young K x OC

Genre: romance

Words: 1.6k

Description: bartender!au

**Warnings: Some suggestive content ahead – please do not read if you are uncomfortable with such themes!**

**\---**

_I’m heading for the bar the moment I get there I swear._

That was the one and only, most important, singular thought that ran through your mind as you got dragged out for a crazy night out with the friends to a raving club. For a girl that was too afraid to even step into the arcade as a child, a club seemed to be this big black hole that was ready to swallow you up whole.

And that thought was terrifying.

But you just couldn’t say no. A promise was made years ago to do this once all of you had graduated from university and as much as you regret your decision now, you couldn’t back out. The only thing that could make this worse was that they had decided that this would be a week-long celebration.

Which means that you’ll be visiting the club every night.

_Somebody please save me now._

Unfortunately, there was no one to save you and you were thrown into the crazy mess filled with people on the dance floor and pounding music that was simply too loud for your liking. One by one, as your friends slowly found themselves their new boy toys for the night, you skillfully extricated yourself from the crowd and ran all the way to the bar to hide for the rest of the night. Settling into the high chair, you finally let yourself breathe for the first time that night.

“What can I get for you tonight?”

You looked up and found yourself face to face with the bartender. Unique feline eyes stared back at your brown orbs as he continued to wipe down glasses with the white cloth in his hand. He had platinum blonde hair that was gelled back nicely, revealing his forehead. A long earring hung down his left ear and he was dressed in black slacks and a white button-up with the sleeves folded up till his elbows, revealing an array of metallic bangles on his wrists.

And you thought to yourself: _God could not have made a more attractive man._

Waiting for a response for too long – the bartender finally prompted you again.

“Your drink, miss?”

“Oh, sorry. Erm soda, please.”

A few silent moments passed between the two of you before the bartender cracked a smile, shaking his head lightly in light of your inexperience.

“You’re at a bar Miss, we don’t serve soda here. Do you drink any liquor?”

Your cheeks burst into flames, realizing how stupid you sounded seconds ago when you actually asked for _soda_ from a _bartender_ at a _damn bar_.

“I’m sorry – I don’t – I don’t drink liquor.”

“Would you like to try?”

“Since I’m here, might as well. Have you got anything for me?”

“For beginners I’ll usually start off with a Shandy – it has low alcoholic content with a tinge of fruitiness. Is lemon fine with you?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect. Thank you.”

You watched in amaze as the bartender skillfully made your drink – his hands never stopping as he made the drink to perfection, concentration radiating off his entire being. That made you feel weak in the knees – men that are hardworking, serious man are so attractive.

“For you.”

You took a sip off the drink and surprisingly, you found that you liked it. You wanted to thank him for making your drink, until you realized that you didn’t know his name.

“I still don’t know your name.”

“Younghyun, Brian or Young K – take your pick.”

“I’m sticking with Brain. Thanks for the drink – Brian.”

“What’s yours?”

“Y/N.”

“First time here?”

“Hmmm”

“Then why aren’t you on the dance floor?”

“Not my kind of thing – I’d prefer to stick to the bar and my drinks.” _And my type of man._

“Any friends?”

“Yea but they’re all getting rather ‘well-acquainted’ with some other people here – if you get what I mean.”

“I think I do.”

“We always joke about how we’re going to come as four and leave as three, or less.”

It was meant to be a self-diss at your group of friends but the fact that Brian laughed at the joke made butterflies flutter in your stomach.

“Well, since you’re going to be here all night with no company coming soon, let’s get to know another better?”

“I’d like that.”

-

For the rest of the nights, the same cycle repeated itself. Your friends would busy themselves on the dance floor and you took refuge in the bar. Occasionally the one that was still sober enough to remember to that you were here with them would pop by the bar but they never stayed for more than 10 minutes, leaving you in the hands of Brian for most of the night.

When he wasn’t busy, both of you would chat more and crack jokes as he made you try out new drinks. You found out that he was a business major by day, bassist and bartender by night. Not only was he sinfully good-looking, he also had the brains. Life was so good to him it was unfair.

When he was busy, that’s when your mind wanders into places where it shouldn’t. When he walks around the bar serving other customers, you would admire his sculpted physique from top to bottom. Those hands that can play bass and make sinful drinks – you wondered how they would feel against your own. Those lips that were always worn in a smile – they look so kissable that you unconsciously wet your lips whenever you thought about that. Basically, you found yourself thinking about all the things that you’ll do to him – even though you knew you shouldn’t.

When you had a little too much to drink and the guards come down a little, that’s when you decided to flirt a little more. You would trace your finger down the shell of his ear, his earring before your fingers ghost over his collarbones as you comment about how gorgeous that earring looked on him. Was it just your mind playing tricks on you – or did you see his breathe hitch? You’ll also twirl the bangles around his wrist – leaving fairy touches that make Brian want more but denying him the satisfaction of it. Brain was having less and less self-restraint when it came to you with each passing day and you don’t miss it when he takes revenge by constantly whispering into your ear and letting his fingers travel down the delicate skin of your neck when he tucks your hair behind your ear.

Both of you were clearly into one another – it was now simply a waiting game to see who would act first.

-

“Hey Y/N.”

Your blood ran cold when you heard the voice that announced the arrival of someone unwanted. But still, you had to be civil.

“Hi Jaebum.” Jaebum was that one senior that was obsessed over you but he didn’t seem to get the hint even after multiple rejections. Afterwards, he just got annoying and you avoided him at all costs.

“What brings you here?”

“Got dragged along by the crazy bunch; the usual.”

You willingly let the conversation die off but Jaebum didn’t seem like he intended to move away. So, you had to do something to _make him move._

“Hey babe.”

That was your cheeky nickname for Brian and he responded with an “Hmmm” before walking over to you. He sensed the difference when you leaned close to him, your hooded eyelids conveying another sort of feeling.

“Play along with me” was the last thing he heard before you pressed your lips against his, moving them with such skill that he didn’t know you possessed. Your nails dug deeper into the flesh of his skin as you pulled him closer to deepen the kiss, moving your lips more deliberately. Things were starting to heat up by now. When he finally got the flow, his hands weaved themselves into your hair, his lips moving softly against yours. From the corner of his eye, Brian could see Jaebum visibly stiffen and the final glare that Brian shot Jaebum made the latter up and leave. Sensing the presence of one last person, you broke the kiss but Brian wasn’t quite done with your little stint.

“Come with me.”

He closed his hands around your wrist, leaving you with little choice but to follow.

-

“What was that all about?”

“I needed to get rid of him.”

“I know, but that kiss. What is the meaning of that? It wasn’t just as simple as making him leave.”

You visibly gulped – you were caught by him. Sensing a perfect opportunity, you did indeed take your time to enjoy the kiss, finally doing what you wanted to do all this while. But how were you going to admit that to Brian? You’d die from embarrassment! To divert the attention, you began to tease Brian – humour was your natural defence after all.

“You were so vanilla just now Brian.”

And that was the worst thing that you could say to a prideful man like him.

“Really? Me, vanilla?”

He pressed his body closer to your, effectively trapping you within his clutches. Putting his face right in front of your, lips merely inches from one another, he continued.

“Oh baby you haven’t seen the rest of me yet.”

Pure courage rose within you and you let recklessness take over; after all, you weren’t one to turn down a challenge.

Matching his sultry gaze, you looked up from beneath your hooded eyelids and dared him with your gaze.

“Shall we found out then?”

A growl came from deep within his chest before he whisked you away upstairs.

“Looks like your friends are going back with one less person tonight.”


	19. Rosebud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Wonpil x You
> 
> Genre: romance, pure, cheesy fluff
> 
> Words: 1.3k
> 
> Description: florist!au
> 
> Authors’s note: Inspired by my friend's cute job at the florist

 

Flowers

Everyday.

It was a tradition.

They were for your mother that loved flowers very much and you never failed to get her some before heading home. You always stopped by the same florist everyday – the same old lady that would always share a few jokes or kind smiles with you during your short visits there. But today she wasn't around – and in her place stood a young male about your age. Upon seeing you, he stopped whatever he was doing and greeted you with the biggest gummy smile ever. 

"Hello! What can I get for you today?"

"Hello. I'm getting flowers for my mother. By any chance, do you know where the old lady went? She's usually here..."

"Ah she’s gone into retirement so I'm taking over starting from today. She's my grandmother by the way, and she's told me about you."

"How so?"

"She told me about how you come by every day to buy flowers. Would you like me to pick out the flowers, or would you like to do it yourself?"

"Why don't you pick them out for me?"

"Give me a just moment."

You followed the boy at a distance as he traveled around the shop - picking up one and then putting it down again, flitting around the shop like a hummingbird in search of the sweetest flowers.

"These seem perfect for the spring days." Finally satisfied with his pick, he proudly held up a bunch of daisies in shades of white, yellow and pink out to you and you smiled as you gathered them in your hands.

"They're absolutely lovely."

The cute boy grinned widely and you couldn't help but smile along with him.

"It'll be 10 dollars." You paid up and you decided that you wanted to know his name. 

"What's your name?"

"Oh those are daisies. Pretty aren't they?"

You let out a carefree laughter at his cluelessness and Wonpil decided that it was a sound he wanted to keep hearing forever. 

"No, I meant your name."

"Ah! Wonpil hehe" He then scratched the back of his nape in embarrassment. 

_Cute…_

"What's yours?"

"Y/N. Goodbye for today Wonpil." 

You waved goodbye but before you could even to leave, he called out for you again.

"Y/N wait!"

“Hmm?” You watched as the mop of brown hair disappeared behind the counter before he appeared again with a white camilla in hand.

Shyly, he passed it over.

“For you…”

“Thank you Wonpil. What does this mean?”

Upon hearing your question, he blushed the deepest shade of pink as he tried to look anywhere but your eyes. Finally, he whispered,

“You’re adorable – that’s what they mean.”

Now, it was your turn to blush too.

-

You formed a quick friendship with Wonpil. The boy’s cheery self and cute innocence made him someone that was very easy to talk to – and the way he gets all excited when he talks about something he’s passionate about has your heart swelling with happiness.

At first, you didn’t know why you began to stay longer in the shop – it started with trying to prolong your daily trips there but taking a long time to choose the flowers, at times simply calling Wonpil over to ‘help’ you. Gradually, you began to pop by the store without reason until you began to make up reasons for yourself like – “helping you arrange the flowers” or “I concentrate better when I study if I’m here.” But after a while, you realized that what you truly wanted was his comforting presence. Over time, that warm stable boy called Kim Wonpil was your reason to smile a little brighter each day. He was like a sunflower – radiating his warmth to everyone around him.

 

If you thought you were clingy, Wonpil didn’t lack in that department either.

 

Tapping your pen against your temple, you pondered hard over the math question staring back at you but from the side of your eye, you could spy a little Wonpil openly staring at you.

“Wonpil stop it.” That knowledge caused your cheeks to dusted a light baby pink and you squirmed  a little under his watchful eye.

“Why?”

“Because I can’t do anything when you’re looking at me like that…”

“But I want to look at you – I love looking at the beautiful you.”

“Stop being so cheesy!”

With the tip of your pen, you pushed Wonpil away by his forehead and he gladly backed out of your personal space.

Staring at his back view now, you wondered if this was what pure love felt like – wanting to admire someone whenever you got the chance to.

-

“Another flower today?”

“Yup – he always give me an extra one.”

“Y/N, I think he really likes you. Have you ever thought of asking him about it?”

“No…” The thought of admitting your love for Wonpil to the man himself was too much for you and you wanted to squeal like a high school fan girl whenever you thought about it.

“I honestly think you should.”

“Why?”

Thumbing the flower in her hand, your mother shot you a serious look before continuing.

“He seems like a really sweet guy – always giving you flowers, and sending you home whenever it’s late at night. These flowers, they mean something you know?”

“I do know what they mean. The yellow tulip from the day before meant ‘there’s sunshine in your eyes’, the mignonette from yesterday meant ‘health’ and this purple lilac…”

“It refers to the first emotion of love. Y/N, I’m telling you this boy is a keeper. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and all these flowers every day without fail for an entire year? He’s making it so obvious already; you got to do something about it.”

“Maybe I will, if he doesn’t beat me to it.”

But as usual, Wonpil always wins when it comes to the love department.

-

The next day when you entered the shop as usual, you could immediately sense the nervousness in Wonpil’s body posture. He was quite obviously hiding something behind his back and you couldn’t help but tease him about it.

“What are you hiding behind your back?”

“Nothing!” Sweat was forming around his hairline, and he kept shifting his weight left and right.

“Come on, show me what you have.”

“Promise me you’ll give me a clear answer ok…?”

He held out his pinky for a pinky promise and you sealed it with a stamp.

“Now what is it about?”

He said nothing, but presented you with a bouquet of flowers instead. You immediately recognized the flowers – they were a mixture of the flowers that he had given you over the past year.

 

But most importantly, the message behind each one.

 

Each flower was a variation of good thoughts – some representing happiness, some health, others loyalty and devotion. You understood immediately that this was Wonpil’s confession – he was borrowing the language of flowers to tell you how much he treasures you. But the rose in the middle was the most telling – it meant “I love you”

“So...?” He had asked with a thoughtful tone in his voice and you knew of the best way to answer him.

“Wait here.”

Running around the shop, you went in search of the flower that could properly express your answer and when you finally found it, you presented it to him without hesitation.

“Ambrosia, they mean… ‘your love is reciprocated’! OH GOSH Y/N IS THIS A YES?”

The boy was giddy beyond happiness and when you finally nodded with a smile on your face, he pulled you into his arms and gave you the softest hug of all time.

“From now on I’m going to give you roses every day.”

“Why?”

“To remind you that I love you each and every single day.”


	20. My Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Young K x You
> 
> Genre: romance, fluff
> 
> Words: 1.7k
> 
> Description: doctor!au x Christmas themed

 

You knew you should have said no. Since the morning on the way here, your gut feeling had already told you that you shouldn't have been a smart aleck and agreed to help Wonpil with the Christmas decoration.

Now as you sat on his porch in the biting cold cradling your foot, you cursed and swore at yourself.

"What happened?"

"I slipped on some snow and fell. I think I might have twisted something."

Wonpil sat beside you to inspect your ankle and it was swelling by the minute.

"What do we do..."

"I guess I'll just put some ice on this and visit the doctor tomorrow. No one's going to open on Christmas."

Wonpil furrowed his eyebrows in deep thought before lighting up into a grin.

"Ah I know someone!"

Before you could ask who, Wonpil had already whisked you into the passenger seat of his car.

-

"Hyung!" 

"Ah Wonpilie! What brings you here?"

The moment you saw who his friend was, your brain went: _Oh shit_

Standing right in front of you was Brian Kang and you fought the urge to slap Wonpil right there and then. Of all people, he had to bring you to Brain Kang. 

_Curse your damn luck._

For the longest time now, you've had a crush on Brian. How it all came to be seems stupid in your head but it was the truth. Brian was the resident genius of Wonpil’s group of friends – having been the only one to enter medical school. Between juggling medicine, he still found the time to play bass for the group and when he had time, he’ll play for the school basketball team. Being Wonpil’s friend, you had the privilege of getting to know him on a more personal level and seeing the way he interacts with the boys and the sweet smile meant only for private settings pulled you deeper in than you thought it would.

Also, did you mention that his ridiculously good looks are a bonus?

Basically, Brain Kang was a full package and you had to have a lot of willpower to not fall for that guy. You initially brushed it off as an infatuation but as time went on the feelings didn’t fade – and you eventually resigned yourself to a silent, one-sided love.

_Until you got drunk one day and you accidentally revealed your love for him._

You didn’t even know you did it until Brian stared at you with a glint in his eye the next day and Wonpil revealed the whole episode to you. Apparently, you had picked Brian as the guy you would kiss and you even made kissey faces at him. Since then, you had actively avoided Brian at all costs and it didn’t help that he was constantly trying to know you better. You knew he meant no harm but the embarrassment from that incident made you turn tails and run whenever you saw him. Even when Wonpil revealed later on that Brian felt the same way, you still brushed off his comments as ‘silly’ and continued to avoid Brian at all costs.

Until now – where you were in no position to run away.

Brian gave you a knowing glance before directing his attention back to Wonpil. 

"You know Y/N right? She twisted her ankle."

"Of course I do. Bring her in." He opened his door a little wider and you hopped in on one foot, all the while cringing a little inside.

_Someone save me now._

"Wonpil-ah bring her to the study room."

"Ok!"

When Wonpil placed you down on his study chair, that’s when you decided to punch the poor boy on the shoulder.

With a hushed tone, you hissed at Wonpil.

“Why did you have to bring me here! You know I have history with that guy!”

“God you’re still thinking about that? Come on! I’m sure he’s already forgotten about it and besides, he’s the only doctor I know that will help you on Christmas Day. Cheer up Y/N!”

“When my leg heals you are getting one big whooping kick from me.” As you said that, you watched as the color drained from Wonpil’s face but thankfully, he was saved by the entrance of Brian.

“Hyung! The Christmas decorations aren’t done yet so I’ll head back home first. Bring Y/N over later ok?”

“Gotcha.”

When Brian turned his back on the door, you drew a slashing line against your neck at Wonpil, who simply smiled sheepishly and darted from the room.

“Let’s take a look at that leg shall we?”

When Brian flashed you a smile as warm as the hearth on Christmas night, it melted the ice around your heart and you braced yourself for the onslaught of sweetness as you warned your brain to not do anything stupid.

_Here we go…_

-

“So how did you land in this state?”

“I slipped on some ice.”

“And how does Wonpil come into the picture?”

“I was helping him with the Christmas decorations for the party today.”

“Ah… perhaps I should thank the snow and Wonpil.”

“Why?”

“Well, because of them I get to spend time with you like this even though you injuring yourself pains my heart.” And of course, the next most Brian thing to do is throw in a flirty wink; you had to grip the armrest of the chair to make sure you didn’t fall off the chair.

“Brain, stop it.”

“Stop what?” He feigned innocence and gave you one of those sweet smiles that reached his eyes.

“Don’t act dumb. You know what I’m talking about.”

“I’m sorry, what? I can’t hear you.”

It happened so quickly you didn’t even notice until his face was right in front of yours. You could see your shocked face reflected in his bright feline eyes and you could feel his breath fanning over your lips. His hands were clasped over yours, trapping you between him and his chair. Very slowly, his eyes dropped from yours to your lips and slowly he leaned in...

Closer…

Closer…

Until he pulled back in one swift movement and watched in amusement as you opened your eyes.

_Damn you Brian Kang._

You watched him chuckle at his little trick on you – knowing that he still has your wrapped around his finger.

“You’re good to go.” Patting your ankle lightly, he stood to leave with his supplies in hand and the moment the door closed shut, you ran your hands through your hair as you let a strangled cry escape your throat.

-

You thought the suffering would end once you were at Wonpil’s house with the rest of the boys around but Brian was still being as obvious as ever. Having a twisted ankle suddenly meant that you’re out of commission and Brian took it upon himself to help you throughout the evening – although you knew that he didn’t do it with pure intentions in mind.

You don’t miss his side way glances or the way his gaze lingers on you a little longer whenever he walks by you. Plates of food and beverages are passed with fingers brushing afterwards. When he sits beside you, he makes sure to maintain some sort of contact with you – knees are touching or his arm is on the sofa behind you. The constant contact made you squirm a little inside and it wasn’t like you hated it – your heart still was aware of its affection for the man but your mind was screaming otherwise.

“Hyung move! I want to sit beside Y/N!”

“Ok Wonpil, she’s all yours.” Brain then moved to the seat in front of you as Wonpil filled his space and you were glad for the little break your heart was getting.

“Gentlemen and 1 lady, welcome to 2017’s gift exchange segment!” Jae then spread his arms out wide and everyone clapped before Jae turned rabid at the lack of response.

“We shall go in no particular order starting with me.” Jae then bent down to pick the biggest one under the tree, certain that it would the best one around. The boys took turns and finally, we were down to Brian Kang.

“Brian, take the last one.” He then stood and bent down but decided there and then that he wanted something else.

Or rather, someone else.

In two big steps, he stood in front of you before picking up bridal style, announcing something along the lines of “I choose you.”

He then went back to his seat whilst settling you comfortably on his lap as the boys let out a chorus of WOAHHHH

“Brian Kang, just what exactly do you think you are doing?”

“I choose you as my Christmas gift.”

“Excuse you, I’m pretty sure I’m not part of the gift exchange.” You raised an eyebrow at him, and he raised another back at you daringly.

“Well, the rules were pick a gift but they didn’t specify which one.” Another wink came flying your way and this time round, you rolled your eyes without hesitation. Amidst your bickering, both of you were too engrossed in winning the argument to see Jae’s sneaky move.

“Both of you look up.”

Right on top of your hands, in all its glory, was the mistletoe.

And this means…

“We kiss now Y/N.”

And gosh, who could say no when a handsome, sweet man was staring at you like you were the most loving gaze in the world?

“You won’t play me like you did just now, right?”

“I promise I’ll do it for real now.”

As he leaned in closer, you squeezed your eyes shut – waiting for the impact of his lips upon yours.

But none came.

Instead, you felt something soft press against your forehead as the boys jeered in the background, unsatisfied with his forehead kiss. As the boys lost interest and got down to ripping the packaging off the presents, Brian tightened his hold around your waist as he whispered into your ear.

“Are we a couple now?”

“I guess…”

“Great – now you can’t avoid me anymore.”

Jae then let out a squeal of excitement as he held a new Macbook in his hand, courtesy of Wonpil, and that’s when Brian stole another kiss from your cheeks.

“Brian!”

“Can’t help it – also, I’m saving the best for the last. Merry Christmas babe, am I your best gift this year?”

And instead of replying with words, you answered him by kissing him on the lips, beating him as his own game.


	21. Proud of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Young K x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life, humour
> 
> Words: 1.9k
> 
> Description: happy, tipsy Brian :’)

Title: Proud of You

Characters: DAY6 Young K x OC

Genre: fluff, slice of life, humour

Words: 1.9k

Description: happy, tipsy Brian :’)

Inspiration:

Author’s note: For the lovely – this one is for you – for being such a great friend and supporter

\---

_Tap. Tap. Tap_

_Drum. Drum. Drum._

_Click. Click. Click._

All around you, students were waiting in anticipation for the announcement that would signal their freedom for the next three months. With every student around you playing with the objects around them, your surroundings turned into a cacophony of mismatched sounds, amplified by a hundred fold. To your left, Jae was continuously clicking on his pen, sending the tip in and out of its casing. To your right, Sungjin was shaking his leg against the table, sending mini tremors to your side. To your diagonal right, Wonpil was drumming his fingers against the table and on the other side, Dowoon was tapping his pen against the table, creating a new beat.

And right in front of you was your best friend Brian Kang, which you can see swaying his head to the imaginary music playing in his head.

As the presiding examiner turned to face the front, the entire hall transited into pin-drop silence, everyone waiting with bated breath to hear the words leave his mouth.

 “The examination is over, and all of you may leave now. Happy holidays to all.”

On cue, the dragging of hundreds of chairs across the polished wooden floor filled the entire hall and the excited chatters followed soon after. As you got up to leave, you caught wisps of people’s conversations; exciting plans for the holiday and new year ahead.

As you picked up your bag to leave, Brian’s voice boomed through the horde of students to reach you.

“Y/N! Are you up for karaoke tonight? I’ll call you.”

A smile spreading over your face, you showed him a thumb up sign before turning to leave.

-

“I’M LIKE TT, JUST LIKE TT!”

“Ok Brian that’s enough, you’ve had too much to drink.”

Completely intoxicated and incapable of coherent words, all Brain did was laugh really loudly before collapsing in a heap beside you, hands still clutching the karaoke mic firmly. With your hands, you tried to extricate the microphone from his fingers gently so that he wouldn’t notice. But the alcohol seemed to have heightened his senses instead – so even before you could actually touch him, he had snatched the mic back before screaming into it.

“Y/N…you…NEOMUHAE NEOMUHAE! Don’t take my mic away from me!”

With that being said, he passed the mic to Jae for safe-keeping before taking a swig from the bottle in his other hand.

As you stared at Brian with daggers in your eyes, the boys tried to stifle their laughter in the background although Wonpil was already on the floor, rolling in silent laughter.

Jae was the first one to speak up amidst the chaos.

“You know something, Y/N?”

“Hmmm?”

“Just let Brian let loose for tonight, it’s the end of the exam season and the new year is starting in a few hours anyways so…”

“So…?”

“So for tonight, just let everyone go wild, and you should let your hair down too. I know that you’re naturally a very nervous person but for tonight, just take a break. Don’t worry too much about the aftermath – I’m sure it’ll be better than the calamity.”

Before you could reply him, Brian’s excited voice broke through the system, leaving you to swim in your own thoughts.

_Jae’s right, when’s the last time I took a break?_

Sinking back against the soft leather couch, you blocked out Brian’s singing and transited into your own world as you reflected upon the last year.

-

As images of the past year flashed past in your head, some brought tears to your eyes but some left a smile on your face.

Having just entered university, you had a hard time adapting. This entire year passed in a blur and somehow, all you remember is sitting down in front of your readings and papers completely exhausted before tears of frustration came. Despite being near your breaking point, you refused any help from your friends, insisting that you needed the time to do work instead of taking a break. This vicious cycle eventually took a toll on your health and you felt your string slowly snap by the second.

But… despite the bad year, there were good moments to look back on as well.

Nights spent with your best friend Brian walking along the riverside as you talked about anything between the sky and earth, being able to watch their night club gigs from the front row and more recently, meeting a bunch of lovely coworkers at your new workplace.

It then dawned upon you that whilst you might have had a year filled with more downs than ups, it’s the little moments that make life worth living. Those small, little things that make you happy everyday – be it the cute little puppy that decided to walk over to you today, or a kind stranger that held the lift for you, it’s all these small, kind gestures that made the world of a difference.

And you also realized that it doesn’t pay to keep studying – someone once said: “Work hard, and play harder.”

This time round, you decided to take the advice.

So when Brian passed you the mic to sing a duet with him, you didn’t object.

-

For the rest of the night, you did exactly what Jae said: Take a break and let your hair down.

After another 2 bottles of alcohol, happy, tipsy Brian made its appearance and before you knew it, both of you were decked out in rainbow wigs and sunglasses, screeching out notes into the mics (at this point in time none of you were singing anymore). Being the good sport he is, Brian broke out into dance moves that you didn’t know he possessed.

“Y/N.”

“Hmmm?”

“Watch this.”

Trailing a finger gun down his body, Brian ended it off with a hip jerk and being the extra person that he is, he had to end it off with a lip bite at the end.

“KANG YOUNGHYUN! WHAT WAS THAT?”

“Nothing, just a little sexy dance for my best friend HAHA”

“Who are you, and what have you done to my best friend?”

“Gone is your best friend, for he has now decided to worship the dance deities as his master.”

With that being said, Brian stripped off his outer wear before flicking the material at you with a smirk on his face, leaving you breathless from the wrecks of laughter. He then continued to dance around the room by himself, seducing the boys to join him.

One by one, the rest of the boys decided to join in the fun and Wonpil’s booty dance at the end had you screaming in embarrassment as you covered your innocent eyes. Before you knew it, the boys were twirling their hips together, flinging things all around the room in a private stripping show for you. This is the wildest they had been and needless to say, you had everything videoed down to be used as blackmail in future. After all, what are best friends for if not to embarrass you from time to time?

Despite the chaos around you, your heart felt full. Seeing the boys enjoy themselves, you didn’t stop the bubble of laughter rising in you and for once, you let yourself truly feel happy without worrying about the future. You might not have had the best year, but at least you had the best night.

-

“Thank you. You can keep the change. Brian we gotta go…”

“I’m sorry…what?”

“Brian, you’re drunk. Let’s just get you out of the car first.”

Lifting his arm over your shoulders as you supported his waist with your other hand, you dragged him to his porch before seating him on the porch. He was simply too heavy for you to handle alone, and you needed a break. Placing him between the railing and yourself, you leaned him against the metal railing so that he wouldn’t collapse face first into the floor.

You saw the colors flash across his face before hearing the boom of the fireworks. Turning to look at the beautiful spectacle that lighted up the night sky in the colors of the rainbows in various shapes, your attention was only broken by Brian’s breath against your shoulder.

“Happy New Year Y/N and I’m so proud of you.”

“Happy New Year too Brian, but why are you proud of me? I haven’t accomplished anything great this year, and you know that.”

“You did, just that you aren’t able to see it.”

“Then tell me about it.”

“You might not have achieved your version of success but for those watching like the boys and I, we can see how hard you’re working. Despite the negativity, you never gave up.”

“But still… that isn’t something very note-worthy…”

“It is! Will you stop putting yourself down?”

Snapping his head upwards, he flicked his fingers against your forehead, causing you to let you a howl of pain as you slapped his chest.

“Stop abusing me!”

“I need to knock some sense into your stubborn brain. Would you just hear me out?”

“Ok ok! Carry on, your Highness, geez.”

“It doesn’t matter if all you did this year was simply to get through it. That in itself is an achievement. Have you ever wondered why everyone celebrates the new year, even if they aren’t, say, great politicians? Why, say, ordinary people like you and I see cause for a celebration when the new year arrives? That’s because we’re grateful to have been able to live through another year – and that in itself is enough. For trying your best this year to overcome your challenges, that in itself is enough – don’t you see? I’m proud of you, best friend, for getting through this year, even if you felt like all you did this year was survive.”

All this while as he spoke, you gave Brian your full attention, your eyes never leaving his face. You watched closely as your best friend poured out his inner feelings to you, sincere and absolutely raw. By the end of it, tears were dripping down your face as you hastily tried to rub them away.

“I hate you Brian Kang.”

“Hey! Why?”

“I hate you for making me emotional on New Year’s Day.”

“Wait, are you crying?”

“Yes! Thanks to you…”

“Awww don’t cry…” Cupping your face between his hands, Brain wiped your tears with the pad of his thumbs whilst whispering comforting words to you.

“Do you need a hug from me right now?”

Incapable of words, you nodded as Brian opened his arms and you gladly ran into them, soaking his shirt with your tears.

“Stop crying you silly girl…”

“Blame yourself for making me such a sobbing mess.”

“Are we really going to do this now?”

“No…”

For a few more moments you let silence envelope the space between the two of you until you spoke up again.

“Thank you Brian…”

“What for?”

“For putting up with this mess known as me.”

“I’ll always be proud of you, and I meant every word I said, you know?”

“I do, and so for that, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I love you best friend.”

“Love you too Burger Kang.”

Perhaps Brian is right.

It doesn’t matter if you haven’t achieved your version of success yet, you’ll get there someday. Even if all you did this past year is survive, that is something to be proud of.

 


	22. One, Two, Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jae x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, romance
> 
> Words: 500+
> 
> Description: How he slowly wanders into your heart in one, two, three.
> 
> Inspiration: I Loved You

 

There was just something about you that tugs at his heartstrings. He doesn't know what it is, but he knows it's there. Jae has always prided himself for being that ice cold guy that never seems to be interested in girls. Don't get him wrong, he is equally interested in the opposite sex as they are with him, but no one really moved his heart like you did. He wanted to see you more, and so he did. 

-

First was the peek through the window. He loves watching your side profile, noticing how that few strands of hair escape your hairband and fall in such a way that it frames your face perfectly. 

 

Second was the silent approach. Walking in with a slight bounce in his steps, Jae approaches you quietly and lands in front of you like how a butterfly would when it finds the perfect flower for itself.

"Hello! What can I get you today?" You greet him with a smile on your face and Jae has to bite the inside of his cheeks to prevent himself from grinning widely. 

"This please." 

He then points to the menu with a slender finger and your face lights up as you acknowledge his good taste. Shy from your compliment, he looks down quickly before focusing on your face again, a hand going to scratch the back of his head in embarrassment. It might be a simple gesture, but you don't miss the meaning behind it. 

The "I'm shy when I'm with you", "You're really pretty I can't stare at you for too long before I blush crazily" look.

"Take a seat first, I'll bring it over." 

When Jae stands on his spot without moving, you laugh a little before repeating yourself. The boy finally gets the hint and he decides that he wants to hear your laughter all day and night. 

 

Third is the smile. When you bring the drink over to him, he sips on the drink absentmindedly as he stares at you from beneath his blonde locks, watching your every little movement and finds everything about you so goddamn perfect. When the thought hits him, he lets a smile as he shakes his head. He thinks you don't notice but you do. 

You know that look. 

It's the "I love you so much it's crazy" kind of look. 

You think to yourself: I must be pretty crazy too, because I think I like you too.

-

"Wait."

Jae turns back to look at you, his breath catching as you run over to him.

"Hi."

"Hello."

"What's your name?"

"Jae. What's yours?"

"Y/N."

"Y/N." He tests out the words a few times, and he likes the way it rolls off his tongue, how it sounds so right to his ears. He decides then: I love your name.

"Well Jae, drop by more often won't you? I'd like to see you again." You give him a small smile before returning behind the counter, and Jae decides that he will. 

Because you asked so nicely. 


	23. And every night I pray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Young K x OC 
> 
> Genre: angst, slice of life
> 
> Words: 2.7k
> 
> Description: “Until peace finds us both, I will pray for you every night.”
> 
> Warning: Some religious themes – please do not read if you are uncomfortable with such themes.

 

**Cheryl POV**

Cracking the huge oak doors open by a fraction, I slipped my body through the space before closing the door after me. It shut with a hollowthud and I listened as the sound echoed through the empty hallway. Rising my head, I marvel at the structure that still leaves me breathless whenever my eyes are laid upon it. The entire dome structure is formed from bricks – the simplest form of construction in the modern age but it can still make the entire place look regal. The ribs that start from the tip of each pillar converge into an intricate design of leaves at the center of the roof. Electric lamps illuminate the high ceiling in cream and gold, adding grandeur to the entire place.

Wobbling forward, I took a seat. Resting my head against the back of the chair, I closed my eyes and tried focusing only on my breathing.

I think to myself; _Peace, at last._

I’m not a religious person, but for some odd reason, churches give me a sense of peace. There was just something about how others come here to find peace within themselves that makes me feel like I could do the same.

And so I do.

Whenever my heart feels troubled, this is my remedy. Come out here, sit here for as long as I have to, feel the peace and quietness around me before heading back to face reality.

But tonight, that peace that I desperately seek evades me, and I find myself praying even though I have never done it before.

_God please help me…_

\--

I was 12. I remember talking really excitedly about something I was passionate about until someone yelled, “Shut up! Your high-pitched voice is so annoying!” The people around me sniggered under their breaths and in that moment, it feels like I’ve been stabbed in the heart. I found myself thinking if it was wrong; a crime, to talk about things I love. Since then, I’ve shrunk and became quieter, learning the hard way that my silence is more precious to others than my passion. When the world tells you that you’re too loud too young, my sensitive heart can’t help but feel hurt, and since then I’ve carried that little scar with me, feeling like an unloved toy with a dent at my side.

-

I was 14. I remember sitting among a group of people I called friends back then. Pictures were taken and suddenly, people were all huddled all over a phone, snickering under their breaths. I didn’t know what was happening and naturally, curiosity took over.

“What’s going on?”

“Look at this photo; she’s such a bitch isn’t she?”

A photo was shoved in my face and in that moment as expectant eyes lay on me, watching my reaction,  I had no choice but to play along.

“Yea she is…”

After the words left my mouth, I immediately felt disgusted at what I just said. How could I bear to agree to such a horrible statement? All I remembered thinking was: How can you call her your friend and yet treat her like that behind her back? At the same time, I felt ashamed of myself. Bearing witness to such atrocities, how was it that as I did was sit by and watch without doing anything? In that moment, revulsion at myself was the only emotion appropriate to describe how I felt for inaction was as good as condoning the act. As they continued to laugh around me, I found myself completely unamused by the scene, like an alien for not doing what they did.

Right there and then, I decided that these were not the kind of friends that I wanted in my life. So when the time to say goodbye to them came, I didn’t feel sad about it – a little glad perhaps.

But such events have left a mark in my life. I found that I can never look at people the same way – even those that I called friends. I’ve learnt that it was best to put an iron wall around my heart to prevent myself from being wounded by people.

It has never come down since.

-

I was 16 when I began to hate myself. I hated myself for all the things that I was not, constantly wishing that I could be better. _Why am I so useless? Why can’t I do more? Why can’t I be better?_ I remember thinking like that every day, feeling as though I’ve lost my worth as an entire person because of one thing that I couldn’t get right. With my pillows stained wet each night, I remember wanting to be free from all this pain.

And I didn’t care whether or not I could open my eyes the next day to see the new sunrise. I just wanted to be free from the pain, free from all my worldly expectations and pressure, Like glass, I could see the little cracks forming in my soul but there was nothing that I could do to mend the pieces  back together.

-

Now at 18, I grew to have a sharp tongue and short fuse. My mother had just came home from work and she was reprimanding me for leaving the house in a mess – and I just snapped. We got into a heated argument over it and I just took off to my safe place. I ran and ran and ran, until my lungs can take no more and my legs broke down.

\--

And so, here I am.

Sitting here, it dawned upon me how much I have grown.

But yet, I didn’t grow in a way that I wanted myself to have grown.

When we were younger, we looked up at the adults around us and think to ourselves, I can’t wait to grow up. But growing up, it feels as though I’ve known sadness more than happiness, pain more than joy. Sure, there were still days where I felt like I was at the top of the world – but not enough to make me believe in the goodness of the world. I’ve grown up to become cynical and I fear that for the rest of my life, I’ll continue to view the world with tinted eyes – believing that I didn’t deserve anything good that the world had to offer.

_What have I become?_

Before the first tear could slip through my lashes, the silence around me was broken by someone else.

\--

 “That’s a rather odd position to be praying in.”

“Sorry?”

Snapping my eyes open, I found myself face to face with a boy about my age. His black hair was chopped messily around the edges, giving him a very rugged look. His black, wrinkled clothes were draped like a curtain around him, a single cross-shaped earring hanging down his right earlobe. His dirty sneakers squeaked against the pristine tiled floors, leaving dirt marks on it. He looked like that sort of troubled youths you see in TV shows with a devastating backstory – I was fairly certain that he had one. For a good long while, his bright feline eyes searched mine until he broke the silence again.

“So, what’s your business here?”

When I didn’t answer him, he chuckled before speaking again.

“Do you think I’m some ghost to hunt you from the depths of the church? Relax, I’m not. You can touch me to see if I’m real.” At this moment, he held out his open palm for me and I brushed my fingers lightly against the surface of it, relieved when I could feel flesh and the heat radiating off it.

“Convinced now?”

“Yes.”

“Great. My name is Brian, what’s yours?”

“Cheryl.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Cheryl.” He took my hand in his and shook it firmly.

“So what brings you here to pray tonight Cheryl?”

“I’m not here to pray. I’m just here to find some peace and quiet.”

“Hmmm, that’s rather interesting. Troubled heart?”

“Very. But let’s not talk about depressing things. What about you? What brings you here?”

“Same reason as you, just that I thought I was the only one to do so.”

Right at this moment, he takes out a cigarette from his back pocket and proceeds to light it up.

“Hey don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Well, we’re in a religious place? We’re not supposed to do this sort of things in a church, it’s disrespectful.”

His next response threw me off, and got me thinking hard about how I should treat the people around me.

“Why does it matter? We’re all sinners. It doesn’t matter if we do it in front of the gods itself or somewhere out of their supposed sight. We will receive judgement at the end of the day – faking it doesn’t make us better people. It’s what we do consistently both in front and away from people’s eyes that makes us who we are. There’s no point in faking to be something that we’re not.”

With that, he proceeded to take a drag of the cigarette before letting out a puff of smoke into the air, completely unabashed – all the while as I watched him.

\--

As I let my view pane over to his hands, I noticed purple, angry bruises forming haphazard patterns around his entire hand and at the tip of his fingers, lay a single rose.

“Who is the rose for?”

“It’s for my mother.”

“And how did you get these bruises?”

“They’re from my mother as well.”

The meaning of what he said hits me a few seconds late.

_The rose is for his mother, whom also beats him._

The uncanniness of this paradox unsettles me and I blurt out the words before my mind could even process them.

“Why would you buy roses for someone that has hurt you…?”

I expected that he would lash out at me, turn rabid for daring to insult him at all. But instead, he gives me a soft smile before proceeding to explain himself.

“Don’t judge my mother too harshly before you hear about her story. She came back home today and something written in her facial expression told me that things didn’t go well today. Without even asking about her day, all I did was continue to smoke as I lay in the pile of mess I made around me. You don’t know this but my mum is a very neat person so seeing that mess and a smoking son ticked her off. She raised her voice a little and I did the same. So for a good 15 minutes we were a screaming mess until she decided to hurl things at me. Naturally I blocked and hence the bruises…”

He let himself trail off, tongue darting out to lick his lips before carrying on.

“So like you, I ran out of the house to come here, only to bump into her boss on the street. And guess what he said to me.”

“He said that she had a bad day at work…?”

“It was more than just a bad day at work. He told me to tell her that he was sorry for having to fire her.”

The weight of the revelation felt like huge boulder had just landed in my stomach, making me feel sick at my insensitivity towards his mother earlier on.

“I’m so sorry…”

“No don’t be. It isn’t your fault. If anyone was to be sorry, it should be me.”

Another pause filled the space between us – until he opened his mouth only to close them back again.

“Is there something you want to say Brian?”

“I – I do. My point is: be understanding to your parents. We grow up and get old and sometimes I think that as children we tend to forget that our parents are getting older too. All these years of taking without giving causes us to take them for granted.

As we mature, I feel like we need to understand our parents from their point of view. Before we speak, consider what they might be feeling right now, or what they have gone through today.

We should also care for them – we don’t have to do big things like throw them a party, simply asking how their day went or not making them worry can make a huge difference.

It isn’t easy being my mother – I’m not the best son, as you can see. So this rose is my meager way of saying sorry.

Don’t lose your temper at your parents easily; you don’t know what they are going through sometimes. Life tells us that we should be kind to our friends – and I’m starting to realize that the same kindness should extend to our parents as well.”

And for the second time that day, Brian has amazed me – and caused me to nearly burst into tears again with the value of his words.

\--

“Did I scare you with the long, solemn speech just now Cheryl?”

“No, you’ve taught me a lot instead, so…thank you Brian.”

“I’m glad.”

Right at that moment, the alarm that he set on his phone went off and Brian turned to face me.

“Well, it’s getting late and I should probably get home before my mother worries. You should to, you know? Goodbye Cheryl.”

“Goodbye Brian…”

As he stood to leave, he extinguishes his cigarette – and for the rest of the way home, I wonder about the symbolism of the image.

\--

Back home, I see my mother waiting up for me.

“Hi Mom.”

“Oh Cheryl, you’re back home now. Go get some rest.”

Rising from the sofa, she headed for her room but before she could walk past me, Brian’s words ring in my head and I call out to her.

“Mum.”

“Hmmm?”

Without another word, I launch myself into her arms as I apologize to her.

“I’m sorry for the tantrum I threw you at you just now, I’m really sorry and…”

“And?”

“And I hope you know that I love you very much even though I am not the best daughter.”

I feel her smooth a hand over my hair before she says,

“I love you too, don’t worry about just now – I’ve already put it past me. From now on, we can learn to become a better daughter and mother together. Good night darling, get some rest now.”

With one last affectionate pinch of my cheek, the door of her room closes as the light inside extinguishes seconds later.

Feeling a little bubble of happiness rise within me at the resolution of our conflict, I head to my room to prepare for the night’s rest. As I shrug off the huge coat, a white piece of paper flutters out from the pocket before landing softly on the cream linen of my bed.

\--

_Who is this from?_

Opening the letter, unrecognizable handwriting stares back at me but the words sound so much like him – I could almost hear him saying those words right beside me.

**_“Cheryl,_ **

**_We didn’t talk much about you but I can tell that you are a troubled soul just like I am. Whatever has happened to you, I hope you know that it doesn’t make you a bad person. You and I, we aren’t bad people. We’re just lost youths, trying to figure out our way in this confusing world. One last piece of advice: It’s our choices that we make that define us, not our past. You can choose to start anew each day, to make efforts to become a better version of yourself. I pray that one day, both of us will find peace within ourselves. Which I am sure we will. Until that day arrives, I will pray for you every night. -_ ** **_Brian”_ **

At this point in time, my vision blurs as hot tears flow down my face, droplets of them forming wet spots on the paper and smudging the ink. Amidst the million emotions running through me, I manage to form one coherent thought:

_Thank you Brain, and every night I will pray the same for you._


	24. Fight or Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: DAY6 member x You (no names mentioned – feel free to envision who it may be)
> 
> Genre: angst
> 
> Words: 1.5k
> 
> Description: my heart still asks for you sometimes; heartbreak is an addiction

 

_"Hi hello. How have you been recently?”_

These are the words that I want to tell you now, watching you stand in front of me. You're within an arm’s length reach...so close that if I stretch out my hand now I'll be able to feel your skin underneath my fingertips, pull you close enough to feel your warm breath against my neck, stare deep into your dark orbs in hopes that I still have a place in them. 

 

Even after all this time, I don't deny that you still have a hold over me.

 

Even after all this time, you still have my heart in your hands. 

 

Even though... you never cared for it.

 

-

Do you still remember the first time I told you I loved you? It was a Friday night; we were lying on the rooftop garden, stargazing, me listening as you told me about the constellations and how stars collide in a beautiful explosion of fire to burn brighter together.

And then I said;

 

"I hope we can collide as beautifully and burn as brightly together."

 

I hear your breath hitch beside me and I hoped that you'll feel the same way. I had hoped that you will say something back to acknowledge my feelings. I had hoped that you will sweep me off my feet and make me feel like you and I can take on the world together so long as we have one another.

But hope gives rise to disappointment and I remember feeling like I couldn’t breathe when all you could say was; 

 

"Shall we go Y/N?"

 

_That's it? That is all you have to offer me after what I just said to you? After working up years of courage to finally be able to admit how I feel about you, all you did was sweep my feelings under the rug and pretended that they don't exist?_

Hot tears threatened to spill forth but I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, hard enough to draw blood, before I trusted myself to speak again. 

 

"Let's go."

 

If you didn't want to acknowledge my feelings, what can I possibly do to make you accept them? 

That night under the stars, you left me with a goodnight kiss on the cheek and I cried myself to sleep, trying to pretend that your actions don't mean a thing.

Trying to pretend that my feelings towards you don't exist.

-

**After the confession comes the confusion.**

Every day and night, I question your intentions.

The way your hand always brushes past mine when we walk side by side. 

The sweet texts and pictures that you’ll send to me through the day.

The way you'll look at me as you pour your heart into singing those love songs. 

 

_Oh you're so good at this game, always tricking me into thinking that you loved me when you never did. But by the time I knew, it was too late to put myself back together – for I had already fallen past a point of no return._

**After the confusion comes the anger**.

For a long time now, you've led me through this labyrinth. I play games and solve riddles to find the way to your heart but I become more and more trapped as you lead me on further. As I turn in circles around you trying to figure you out, the confusion builds into anger that refuses to be contained, my vengeance marking you as an enemy.

 

So this time when you reach out to touch me, I pull back. 

"Don't. Don't touch me."

"Why, Y/N? What’s wrong?”

My words taste like acid, burning my tongue as they are spoken but I don’t stop.

“Why? You have the audacity to ask me why?”

The tough set of his jaw and steely eyes tells me that he knows the answer to my question – just that he’s much too prideful or stubborn to admit it; I don’t know which it is.

“Y/N… don’t…”

“Don’t what? At this point in time what am I not allowed to do? After all that you’ve done to me?”

Maybe he sees something in me crack, because now his eyes are a little softer around the edges, his voice a little gentler. He reaches out to me again.

“Y/N…”

“Don’t look at me like that. Don’t call me with that tone in your voice. Just go, if not I will.”

When his loving gaze becomes too much to bear and the pain in my chest becomes too much to be ignored, I take flight down the street.

I keep running, until his voice and footsteps fade away.

Later on when both the anger and weariness hits me, I fight them no more – and let my tears flow.

 

**After the anger comes resignation.**

You can’t stay angry at someone you love for long – maybe that’s why I seek you out before you do, even though I’ve been hurt more than you have.

I’d know that I’ll find you there; I just wasn’t sure what I was expecting to see.

 

Both of you stand there in a tangle of limbs – your hands are on her waist and her legs are wrapped around yours. You hate it when someone messes with your hair, but she has her fingers treading through your hair, playing with the soft strands at her fingertips. She throws her head back at something funny that you said, and when I saw that smile on your face and the glint in your eyes, I knew the difference between her and me.

I watch as the air around the both of you shifts to something heavier, something that speaks of untold emotions, of something you and I will never have together.

 

It takes a great deal of willpower to not fall apart on the spot when she brings her lips to yours – even more when I realise that you’re kissing her back with the same passion.

 

I must love to be in pain because I keep watching as both of you share that intimate kiss, feeling something stir deep within me.

 

It feels like a slap in the face, a punch in the gut when I figured out what that feeling is – I am the outsider in this whole situation.

 

You glance over in my direction and I know that you’ve seen me. You look like you’re about to do something but then when her hands and lips call for your attention again, you shower them with all the love in this world, leaving me to fend for my broken heart with what little sanity I have left.

 

That night, you walk me home as usual. The space between us is heavy with unspoken words, our calculated footsteps heavier than usual; almost as if both of us are treading across a minefield.

When we stop outside my door and you take my hand in yours, I don’t fight you anymore. For a long while you run your thumb across my knuckles and against my will, a choke escapes from me. Finally gathering enough courage, I say the words I have to – even though it kills me inside.

“Be happy with her.”

“Thank you…”

Even under the dim moonlight, you see the tears shining in my eyes but that doesn’t stop you from hurting me even more.

Bringing your lips to my forehead, you press a kiss against them before letting go off my hand.

Even now, you hesitate a little before letting go of them, almost like you don’t want to.

“There you go again – playing with my heart.”

He doesn’t defend himself – for he knows I’m right.

 “I’m sorry I can’t love you the way you loved me.”

“Then why? Why do you keep leading me on when you knew this was the outcome?”

My voice cracks as a tear slips down my face, but he doesn’t even bat an eyelash at my misery and anguish.

“Maybe I’m just a selfish man.”

“You are.”

“Goodbye Y/N…”

Without another backward glance, he walks away from me as I take off down the same street again.

 

This time round, I don’t hear his footsteps or his voice. He doesn’t run after me anymore. He doesn’t care anymore.

-

Even among the sea of people in this square, all I see is you. She’s still attached to you – it’s been 5, 6 years since? I’m happy for you, although a part of me still hates you for what you’ve done to me.

I’d admit, I don’t think of you as much anymore, but you still linger in the recesses of my heart like a ghost, an occasional tune or colour would remind me of you.

I’d naively thought that a few years away from you would make me forget about you; make me forget about the pain. But I was a fool – for I have been and always will be.

Worse still, I will always be _your_ fool.

Even though my heart knows that you’re the one that broke it,

My heart stills asks for you sometimes. 

And I'm not sure if it'll ever stop – forever stuck in a place between fight or flight.


	25. I. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Young K x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life
> 
> Words: 2.3k
> 
> Description: enemies to lovers! young k

 

All he could see ahead was miles and miles of cars, their blinding red rear lights distorting his vision. The exhaust from other cars made it hard to breathe and in his mind, he was cursing and swearing at those with cigarettes hanging from the tip of their fingers outside of their car windows; he didn't need the second hand smoke to accelerate his death.

 

His meeting was in 15 minutes and the cars in front of him were crawling forward at a snail's pace. Frustrated, he raved the engine of his motorcycle and tried to manoeuvre in the tight space between your vehicle and the car beside you. He moved forward at great speed but by the time he realized what was happening, it was too late. The front of his motorbike collided with the side of your car, the impact sending his bike sideways before he got thrown off his bike.

 

Lying on the sidewalk, the pain in his hand and leg began to set it. Using his left hand to clutch onto his injured right hand, he hissed in pain as he shot you a glare but the sight of you left him in absolute disbelief. Instead of showing care and concern for someone that you injured (like he expected you too), he found you inspecting the dent in the side of your car. He was sure the furrow in your brows was due to the pain of having to pay the high price for the car repairs, and not out of worry for him.

"Hey! You right there!"

"What!"

You finally turned around only to snap at him, and his jaw dropped open further, letting out a scoff at your attitude.

"Lady, you've just injured someone and you're more concerned about your car than a living human being? You're amazing."

"Hey, it's not my fault that you came hurtling at my car out of nowhere so stop using that tone at me."

"Have you no sympathy in your heart for an injured man?"

"I have none for rude and irresponsible people like you."

Nonetheless, despite your sharp tongue, he could see you whip out your phone to dial for the ambulance before you came over to secure his bleeding arm for him.

\--

When the ambulance came, two men rushed to him. Between their moving figures that blocked you from his view, he could make out your busy figure in the back of the ambulance as you set up the equipment to test his vitals.

"She's a nurse?"

"Who are you referring to?"

The young male with sharp angular features that was tending to his arm caught onto his question and was now staring at Young K with bright doe eyes, his hands working on the procedure that he's done repeatedly for years.

"I’m referring to that girl in the back of the van. She's a nurse too?"

"Y/N? Yea she's one of us, but she’s a doctor, what about it?"

"How did she even get to become a doctor?"

The young male (whom he now knew as Wonpil - courtesy of his name-tag) was now staring at Brian as if he's grown an extra head.

"What has she ever done to you?"

"She? She's the reason that you're here right now! She knocked me down and she cared more about her car than me!"

"Well, I guess that means you're a pretty shitty person."

Wonpil then carried on with his work nonchalantly and all Brian could do was roll his eyes in response, both his arms immobilized.

Amidst the drawl of the traffic around them, your clear voice cut through the din to reach the trio.

“Wonpil-ah!”

“Yes?”

“Is he done?”

“I haven’t taken a look at his leg yet!”

“It’s ok. Load him into the van first. We got to clear the tunnel. I’ll deal with his leg, you drive. Dowoon, take my car please.”

Both boys nodded in understanding before Wonpil grabbed Brain by the arms and loaded him onto the stretcher and the van.

When the door slammed shut and you turned to face him with daggers shooting out of your eyes, Brian felt like a piece of meat ready to be devoured by the female tigress.

\--

“I need you to sit back and relax.”

“Lady, you really expect me to when you’re looking at me like you want to murder me?”

“My job to save lives Mr Bigshot, not snuff them out, in case you haven’t realized.”

Again, you fixed him with your signature stare.

Still, he refused to and instead, crossed his arms as he fixed you with an equally hard stare.

This time round, you gritted your teeth and made sure to slam the bottle of saline solution **hard** to prove your point.

Seeing that you meant business, Brian slowly unfolded his arms and leaned back as he was told to before you proceeded to roll up his pants to inspect his leg.

He watched in silence as you went about cleaning his superficial wounds, occasionally letting out a hiss when you hit a fresh wound. He noticed how he pursed your lips tight whenever you got to a particularly nasty wound, and how your breath immediately slowed, almost as though you didn’t want to disturb the patient. He continued watching as your eyebrows furrowed before you stood to give him his diagnosis.

“Your calf and ankle are swelling rather badly, especially your ankle. We’ll need to get an X-ray on that.”

“How bad is it?”

“I can’t say for sure but it’s got at least be a hairline fracture.”

The van then skidded to a stop before the doors flew open and Brian was transferred into Wonpil’s reliable hands again.

“Get him into an X-ray room, I’ll be there once I’m dressed.”

And so Brian lay there waiting on the hard metallic table for 10 minutes before you finally showed up.

\--

“Finally you’ve arrived Good Doctor, thy patient has died from excessive bleeding.”

“Oh stop being so dramatic you wimp, I was only gone for 10.”

Even through the thick black glass separating you and him, Brian could spot the scowl that was clearly drawn across your face as you aggressively punched buttons on the panel to get the machine working.

“Excuse me, I don’t think a patient should be left alone at any point in time?”

Before he could even fully crane his neck to look at you, you screeched at him through the speakers.

“Would you stop moving around? I can’t get a good scan of your leg!”

For the second time that day, Brian laid back and shut his mouth on your orders and from the corner of his eye, he could see Wonpil stifling his laughter behind his fingers.

\--

As Wonpil was putting the cast around his leg, Brian decided to interrogate him again.

“Is she always like that? Crazily snapping at people?”

“No. She’s pretty ok on normal days.”

“But she snaps at me all the time?”

“See, this is why she snaps at you all the time. You ask too many stupid questions.”

 _Curse this redhead and the Lady_. _I got to make them pay._

Looking out of the window, he spotted your scratched up car and he knew _just_ the thing to do.

\--

Within the next hour, you were back in his room to check on his vitals and that’s when Brian breached the topic.

“Hey Lady… about your car…”

“I haven’t gotten a quote on how much insurance you need to pay me, we’ll talk about this another time.”

“I never said I was going to pay.”

“WHAT?”

Your pen slid past the entire page, leaving a thick, ugly line across the paper.

“You heard me. I never said I was going to pay.”

He then popped a grape into his mouth and sunk back into his pillow, his arms comfortably placed behind his back as he watched your livid facial expression with glee from beneath hooded eyelids.

“You can’t do that.”

“Well, if I don’t want to pay, what can you do about it?”

_And he has a point. I can’t win this fight with brute force._

You did the mental math in your head and you decided that you needed him to pay. Buying that car had drained you of your savings and you couldn’t afford another thousand dollar repair. Besides, it was partly your fault too. You should have looked before swerving out.

“How about we strike a deal?”

“Excellent! That was exactly what I had in mind.”

“So what is your proposition?”

“Be at my beck and call for my 3 day stay in the hospital. I promise I’ll pay for the insurance after that.”

After 10 minutes of unsuccessful bargaining, you left the room with a newly printed chart and a verbal promise by Brian to pay for your car repairs.

\--

True to his word, Brian kept you busy for the next 3 days.

Unless he was sleeping, you had to be the runner for all his errands.

By the end of the first day, you had already gotten him sashimi for lunch, and picked up his books from his friend, Jae, just so that he can read them all.

On the second day, he texted you for an Iced Americano for his morning breakfast and apart from accidentally spilling it all over your white satin blouse, you had also sprained your ankles as you stumbled over the curb by the parking spot. So, apart from ruining your outfit, you had to spend money on 2 Iced Americanos.

“That took you long enough Lady.”

“Yea, yea I know. Here’s what you asked for.”

“Thank you. Eh? What’s with that brown stain on your coat?”

“Nothing. Does your leg still hurt?”

“No but-”

“Good. Can’t talk, I got other patients to attend to.”

Were his eyes playing tricks on him, or did he notice a hobble in your step and some redness around your ankles?

\--

“Could you pass me a cookie Wonpil?”

“We ran out but you can have mine.”

“Thanks.” You took his Subway cookie and took a bite out of it before exhaling.

“Why are you so busy these past 2 days?”

“Got to…do…stuff…”

“Stuff like?”

“I’ve been running errands for Brian.”

“Is that why you have a stain on your favorite satin blouse and a swollen ankle?”

“Yes.”

“The heck Y/N. Why are you still doing it for him then?”

“We had a deal and I feel bad for injuring him.”

“Well, that’s his problem! He swerved into your lane.”

“Ah it’s ok Wonpil. He’s only going to be here till tomorrow anyways. I can last another 24 hours. Thanks for the cookie! By the way, aren’t you supposed to be at the children’s ward by now?”

“Oh yes. Catch you later! I’ll patch up that ankle of yours.”

“Thanks Wonpil.”

Just as Wonpil moved into his sight, Brian moved into the shadows and immediately dialed for his friend.

“Hey Jae. Do you think you can get me a new female blouse and a pair of slippers for me? And no, don’t ask me why, just do it, please.”

\--

When you came hurtling into his room with a few strands of your hair astray, Brian had to stifle his laughter.

“Oh God, Brain, are you ok?”

“I’m fine!”

“What? Then why did you press the button for?”

When he smiled knowingly at you, you marched up to him as he put up his arm in defense.

“Woah Lady-”

“Kang. Young. Hyun. This button is not for you to play around with! It says “For Emergency Use Only” This isn’t an emergency!”

You snatched the red button out of his hands and slammed it down beside his bed before you proceeded to tuck a few strands of hair behind your ears.

“What do you want?”

“I just wanted to talk.”

“Just wanted to talk – pfft. I’m leaving.”

“No I’m serious, wait.”

Before you could take another step away from him, he caught onto the ends of your sleeve and you decided to grace him with just 5 minutes of your attention.

“You have 5 minutes. Shoot.”

“I heard your conversation with Wonpil today-”

“You mean you eavesdropped on us.”

“It was unintentional! I just happened to be wheeling myself along the corridors-”

“It’s fine, just carry on.” You had said as you waved him on with a flick of your wrist.

“That means I heard about your morning misadventures and I got you these as an apology. I’m sorry.”

“What are these?” You questioned as you peered into the bag.

“Just open it. You’ll see.”

You reached in and felt the smooth satin material against your fingers before you pulled out the blouse.

“I don’t think it’s the exact same one as the one you are wearing now but I hope it suffices. I also got you a pair of flats – thought it would be better for your ankle.”

“Thank…you. Anything else that I should know?”

“No – wait, actually yes.”

You raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

“If I ever asked you out, would you say yes?”

“I’ll… consider.”

Watching your retreating back, he smiled softly as he thought to himself: _At least she didn’t flatly reject me._

\--

The next day, when you came back with his form of approval for discharge signed, Brian was already sitting by the edge of the bed, waiting for you.

Placing the form in front of him, you said, “Here you go Mr Bigshot. Hopefully I’ll never have to see you again.”

“Aww come on, don’t be so mean. Give me your hand.”

You opened your palm without hesitation and he placed a pink slip of paper in it.

“Do I read it now?”

“Go ahead.”

The front was a simple IOU of the car repairs but the essence of his message was written at the back, in which it said:

**_“Next Friday after you end work? I’ll pick you up here. Dinner’s on me; I promise I’ll pay!”_ **

When you looked up, Brian was holding out his pinky figure towards you and you hooked onto it with your own tightly, an eyesmile forming on his face as you did so.

“Promise.”


	26. II. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Wonpil x You
> 
> Genre: angst, slice of life, (slight) fluff
> 
> Words: 3.8k
> 
> Description: enemies to lovers!wonpil

 

**_2010_ **

April 28th.

It was my birthday, and his.

It was also the first day we met.

Nothing seemed odd about him at first. He was of an average height, had some pretty sharp features and a billion watt smile; the kind that you see in toothpaste commercials. The girls started buzzing among themselves – he was a catch alright. But when the teacher asked him to introduce himself to the class, that’s when we all knew that he was a little different from the rest of us. I mean, who else would use paper and not his voice to a self-introduction?

“Hi everyone.”

Flip.

“My name is Kim Wonpil.”

Flip.

“I can’t speak because I’m deaf.”

Flip.

“But I will work hard to communicate with you during conversations and group projects using this booklet.”

Flip.

“Please do take care of me! I hope to be friends with everyone here!”

Flip. And that billion watt smile was on again. Everyone clapped, but you can feel a definite shift in the air. People were less enthusiastic about the new kid; the claps were merely a sign of courtesy. I had known from an earlier conversation with the teacher that I was to be his buddy and honestly, I don’t mind. I’m not the type the judge much – unlike the others. Although getting close to him might be a concern for me. When he sat in the seat beside mine, he immediately flipped to a fresh sheet of paper and hurriedly scribbled something on it.

“Hi, Y/N! Nice to meet you! I got your name from the teacher just now.”

“Hi, Wonpil. It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Let’s be friends ok?”

“Ok.”

And my life has changed very much ever since that day.

\--

Wonpil is a very curious and bright kid by nature so every 5 seconds in class; I would have his paper shoved into my face, a query written in bold black ink. When I couldn’t answer, he’ll need a little more time for his question to be answered by the teacher – which earned groans from the class – but of course, he can’t hear them. Gradually, everyone came to detest Wonpil a little – not because he was rude or unfriendly or anything of that sort – but the fact that he was different and required a little more time in this fast-paced world slowed them down, and they didn’t appreciate it.

No one was really willing to hang out with Wonpil at all – except me and my other friend Eva. On the days when even I got annoyed with Wonpil, Eva was the only one that could continue to keep up with his pace, and sincerely took time to be his friend. I guess this was also the reason why Wonpil’s world in school came to shrink to just me and Eva – but more of me since I spent almost all my time in class with him.

I don’t know why I was so blind; why I was so ignorant to his feelings. But my clouded perceptions ruined everything henceforth. My friendliness turned to tolerance, and that tolerance eventually turned to loathing. And till today, I can never really forgive myself for the way I treated him.

\--

I felt something cool press against the back of my hand. Cracking open my bleary eyes, I brushed my fingers against the cool plastic of the banana milk carton before focusing on the person standing behind it. He held his booklet in his hand which had said, “For you. You haven’t been eating well these days so you should at least drink that!”

I wrote in my own booklet before showing it to him.

“Thanks Wonpil but its ok. I really don’t have an appetite now.”

“No! You must at least drink that!”

Without waiting for my confirmation, he poked the straw through the metal sheet on top and passed it to me. Despite the obvious frown on my face, I took the drink from his hands and sipped on it bit by bit. Pleased, he sat down beside me again before engrossing himself in his own work. I merely glanced at his book but the contents made my do a double take.

_Musical notes? How can he write music?_

Out of curiosity, I tapped on the shoulder before showing him my question.

“How do you make music? You can’t hear the notes…right?”

“I used to be able to hear when I was little; maybe till I was 6? Despite the little memories I have of music, it is my first love. I remember enough to write some music and I’ve been doing so since I was 13. I know it’s funny – I can remember music but I can’t remember words.”

At that point in time, I merely nodded but the part of me chose not to believe what he had just told me.

\--

“Have you seen Wonpil’s music book yet?”

“Uh huh. What about it?”

“Well? Don’t you think it’s fascinating? How someone can’t hear but can still create music.”

The words were out of my mouth before I could even assess the weight of it.

“Personally I find it quite incredulous. How can someone produce music without being able to hear it?”

“Y/N!”

“What!”

“Are you hearing yourself now? When did you become one of those judgmental people in school? You can choose not to support him in what he’s doing but it’s wrong to ridicule him for it!”

Eva then picked her bag up and with one last glance at me, she stormed out of the bathroom  and let the door slam shut, leaving me to drown in my thoughts. Bent over the sink, I took a deep breath before I could form a coherent thought again.

_She’s right. Since when I have I began to judge Wonpil for who he is?_

Since that day, our relationship has entered the point of no return.

\--

No matter what Wonpil did, it just ticked me off in every way possible.

Everything he did felt like a bother to me – it’s like I’ve come to label Wonpil as “annoying” and the mode around him would be “avoid at all costs”

Whenever he tried to let me listen to his music, I would come up with some excuse to not listen to it, convinced that I could never possibly like it.

Whenever he asked for help with schoolwork, I’d lied and said that I didn’t know how to solve it, hoping that he’ll go bother someone else with his questions.

Whenever he asked to hang out on the weekends, my standard response was “Sorry I can’t, I got to study.” – That wasn’t a lie but surely I could have spared some time to spend with him?

Gradually, I think he took the hint because I stopped receiving questions or requests from him – he’d just go straight to the teacher or Eva. Eva was spending more time with Wonpil now than I do but that was fine with me. It just means that I get more time to study alone in peace –which was exactly what I needed now.

I thought I could hold it all in but the dam finally broke one day.

\--

Everything about that day felt so cold.

The dark skies were pouring down relentlessly, the giant raindrops sounding like rocks being thrown at the window. I was staying back in class for night study class and I was the last one left. My stomach growled in protest – the last time I ate something was… 9, 10 hours ago? Being too engrossed trying to get my sums right, I completely forgotten to eat until I felt the sting of the gastric setting into my stomach.

I looked at the clock: It was 10 minutes to 9, which means that I would have to leave school soon. The last math question stared back at me and I decided my growling stomach could wait another 10 minutes for me to be done before being satisfied.

_Just 10 more minutes, I can do this._

But the heavens have a terribly clever way of ruining my plans. On cue, Wonpil stepped into the classroom with a dinner box in hand and judging by his purposeful steps towards me, that dinner box was surely meant for me.

True enough, the sticky note on top of the box made his intentions very clear.

“Please eat this now Y/N. You haven’t eaten anything since morning’s break. You’re going to make yourself sick at this rate.”

At this point in time, I couldn’t even be bothered to waste time to write a response. Instead, I merely pushed the dinner box back into his hands, wishing that he’ll just leave me alone. But for someone like Wonpil that never gives up, this was just another challenge that he will surely overcome.

Sure enough, he placed the dinner box in front of me and for the next 5 minutes or so, we played the push and pull game.

Until I just snapped like a cold wire on the frigid, winter night.

“WONPIL PLEASE STOP! WHY WON’T YOU GET THE HINT!”

The need to hurl something was too overwhelming and as the surge of anger rose within me, I picked up the closest thing to me without thinking twice, I hurled it into the corner at the other end of the classroom with all the strength I could muster in my entire body.

“Why don’t you get it? Why won’t you just leave me alone? Why must you always poke your nose into my business? I’m 16; I can take care of myself just fine! Why do you always have to be so annoying? WHY MUST YOU MAKE LIFE SO DIFFICULT FOR ME!!!”

When I finally opened my eyes – that was when I knew I had ruined everything. Food was strewn all over the classroom and I slowly followed the trail of food with my eyes…

That egg with the lopsided yolk…

The cherry tomatoes that was cut into the shape of flowers…

And lastly, the beef that was slightly burnt around the edges.

I’ve seen Wonpil cook a few times before during Home Economics class – and I recognise it. The craftsmanship in the food was undoubtedly the work of his hands.

But the most heart-breaking thing was seeing that look of agony on his face.

When our eyes met, it was like… it was like… like…

He couldn’t recognise me anymore.

_What have I done? I have to leave before I cause more damage._

Slowly backing away from him, I picked up my bag and fled the scene as a bright flash of lightening illuminated his lonely figure in the class.

Later that night as I lay in bed, the scenes from that night played like a never-ending trailer in my mind, the sorrow reflected in his eyes becoming the highlight of this burning red film. But the realisation of another fact felt like a sword being impaled into me and I cried myself to sleep that night.

_Wonpil is afraid of the dark – and I had left home alone in that cold, dark classroom._

\--

When I went back to class the next day, everyone was going about their daily activities as usual – as though no one knew of the terrible things that happened there last night. The room did not give itself away either, the interior bare from all traces of the wreck I had left behind. The floors were clean and my books were kept away neatly under my table. From the corner of my eyes, I could make out Wonpil’s figure at his usual spot beside me in class.

I sat down quietly – and he did nothing. No greetings, no smile or no new things to share with me. He was behaving exactly how I had wished he would for the past few months but his cold mannerism made guilt rise within me like sickening bile.

But the guilt was gone as quickly as it had come as I recalled the times he had invaded my personal space and made my personal business his.

I remembered that I hated him – and I decided with finality that I would give him the cold shoulder.

\--

That was how we had lived for the next semester in school – never speaking to one another, pretending that one another didn’t exist.

\--

“Y/N, want to go the summer festival next week?”

“Sure. Who else is coming along Eva?”

“Hmm, just you and me for now.”

“That’s cool with me.”

“Should we…”

“Should we – what?”

“I want to invite Won-”

“No.”

“Y/N, don’t be so stubborn.”

“No. I don’t want to see him there. I don’t want to see him at all.”

“This is where you have to stop living in that little bubble of yours Y/N. I hate to have to do this but there is something you need to get straight. Wonpil wasn’t trying to purposely get in your way by doing all the things he did – he was merely trying to help you. You’re ignorant to this fact because you are so engrossed in your own world but anyone around you can see you working yourself to the bones. Your appetite’s gotten smaller and sometimes you forget to eat entirely. You don’t sleep well and you think caffeine is the solution to everything – you drink that stuff like its water. You try to overtax yourself by working nonstop without any breaks.

I get it. I get that you’re hardworking – I’ve known you for so many years now. But what you need to do for yourself is to stop being so narrow-minded and see the world in different perspectives.

Try to stand in his shoes and think for once.

Is it easy for him to express himself with words? No. But he tries – and he tries the hardest for you. Because he can’t use words easily like most of us can, he expresses his concern through his actions. Everything he’s done for you was done painstakingly with time and effort.

But now back to you Y/N. Ask yourself – what have you ever done for him? A simple thank you would have sufficed for him I suppose – but you didn’t even do that.”

_I detest it. I detest the fact that Wonpil has always been the bigger, better person amongst us two. I detest the fact that he’s made me look like a fool. I detest the fact that he’s such a perfect guy._

_But most of all,_

_I detest the fact that Eva is right – and that I’m actually feeling sorry towards someone that I’m supposed to hate._

Anger has always been my defence against the pain and this time was no different from the rest.

“So? So what if you’re right Eva? So what if he’s just trying to help me? It doesn’t change the fact that he made me irritated.”

“You’re right – it doesn’t change the past. It doesn’t change the fact that he made you angry or irritated. I never meant to invalidate all that with the things I’ve just said. I said all that in hopes that the future will change. Maybe you’ll finally see things in a different light now – and try to be more understanding towards him next time. Anyways, I’m inviting Wonpil to the summer festival. You can decide if you want to come or not.”

\--

That summer, I watched the fireworks from my bedroom window as I practised sign language.

_I’m going to do it. When I see him again, I’m going to say all the things I should have a long time ago and…_

_Try to be understanding towards him for once._

\--

Beep.

“Wonpil” then flashed on my screen a second later.

_Hi Y/N. Are you free to meet today? I’ve got something that I got to tell you._

_Today? But I’m not ready yet. I haven’t learnt enough yet._

**Not today Wonpil-ah. I’m busy.**

_Not even for 5 minutes? I really want to tell you this in person._

**Not today Wonpil…I’m sorry.**

_Ah, it’s ok then._

And a new message from him came a few minutes later.

 **Goodbye** Y/N.

It was such a simple word – but I never realized the weight of it until it was too late.

\--

He wasn’t there anymore. The seat beside mine was empty once more, the desk underneath cleared of its content. Gone was the packet of sweets that he’ll always have under the desk; no more crumpled papers with scratched out lyrics littered the floor or mini figurines that he’ll make with leftover eraser dust sitting on his table.

The place was clean – like no one’s ever been there in the first place. I search all his old hunts – the big tree at the back of the school garden, the benches by the field, and even the rooftop.

And then I bump into Eva in the hallway – the only other person that might know where he is.

“Hey Eva did you see Wonpil? I tried searching around the whole place – why are you staring at me like that?”

Her eyes had grown wider, her facial expression morphing into one of grave seriousness. When she finally spoke, her tone changed drastically – like she was trying to calm a scared child.

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“He didn’t ask to see you over summer break? He didn’t text you or anything of that sort?”

“Well he did ask to meet me once and-”

“Did you say yes?”

“No I didn’t. I wasn’t ready to face him yet-”

“Oh God.”

“Why? What’s going on Eva? Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something I should know? Did something-”

“He’s gone Y/N.”

“He’s gone? What do you mean he’s gone?”

“He moved away Y/N.”

When she said that, I could feel physically feel my knees buckling under me. Everything around me faded into white noise, even Eva’s consolation. I was only aware of the sensation of loss within me as the grief threatened to crush me.

_That’s why he said goodbye. It was a forever goodbye._

_And I didn’t even get to give him a proper apology and goodbye._

I don’t know how long I cried for. Hours, days maybe. Years later, the pain still hasn’t gone away.

\--

**_2018;_ **

8 years.

It’s been 8 years since I last saw Kim Wonpil. A boy I knew for such a short time still remains lodged deep into my heart – that unspoken apology still hanging by my lips.

We’re so far apart – emotionally and physically – but I still catch myself thinking about him sometimes. Maybe I caught sight of the pencils he used to use back then, or unconsciously ate his favorite candy or snack.

Sometimes it becomes even more ridiculous – when I start thinking about how I should have listened to his songs back then when he wanted to show them to me.

It’s on those nights where I need an escape – and a cup of warm butter beer and good music always seems to do the trick.

I walk into the club, sit down and have my usual drink served to me approximately 3 minutes later; the owner’s a university friend.

I can hear instruments being set up on the stage behind me – this must be one of those live club days that I’ve gradually lost track of; heck I don’t even know who’s playing tonight. But it doesn’t matter – if they sing well I’ll just turn around, catch a glimpse of their poster hanging somewhere and listen to their songs in the comfort of my home.

The first few voices sounded vaguely familiar and in the depths of my memory, I must have heard them play here before so… nothing new.

But when the chorus comes in – that’s when I hear the most unique voice in my life. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone with such a vocal colour.

I turn around.

And I see him again.

After so, so, so long.

_But… he’s singing? He can’t hear, how could know to form words?_

The same shock must have registered within him for he has stopped singing too.

I want to go up and say all the things I couldn’t tell him before – but my legs wouldn’t move. I follow him absentmindedly with my eyes as he makes his way over to me and his band continues on without him. Soon, he and I and the commotion we have caused are forgotten by the crowd as they become enraptured in the raspy voice of the main vocalist.

When he stands in front of me again after 8 years, we size one another up like kids used to do on the playground in elementary school as the world narrows down to just me and him.

All I’m aware of is him right now – is this even real anymore?

As if he’s proving his point that he’s always been the bigger, better person, he greets me first.

 “Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Wonpil…”

“Weird to hear me speak isn’t it.”

“Yes.”

 “You know, Y/N, since I left I’ve always been hoping that I could see you again and gosh this is all so crazy but I finally have my prayers heard.”

_He’s still the same. Still rambling on about his interests without thinking too much about them but mine too, Wonpil. Mine too._

“Where have you been Wonpil? How can you…”

“How can I speak again? I went to the States for treatment before coming back to Korea and after many rounds of speech therapy, here I am now.”

He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck – an old habit of his that has still stuck around.

“It’s been a long while Y/N. Sorry for not being able to tell you that I was leaving 8 years ago…”

“That was my fault, don’t apologize.”

He lets out a nervous laughter before his eyes find mine again – but this time, I beat him to it.

“Sorry for all the terrible things I’ve did before Wonpil. I’m sorry this apology came so late. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’m sorry…for many things…”

I swiftly turn my face away as the first tear drops and I let him when he draws me into his arms.

“It’s ok, don’t cry please. I’ve put them all behind me – why are you still berating yourself for it after so many years?”

“I was a really terrible person Wonpil, how are you still so kind to me?”

“Because you were my first friend there – regardless of how things changed over time.”

I stay enveloped in his embrace for a few more minutes before he speaks again.

“It’s been a really long while Y/N. I believe that we are meeting again for reason so…let’s become friends again? It’s time to right the wrongs done and make up for lost time, don’t you think?”

This time round, I cling on tightly to his shirt as I agree.

“Yes, let’s do that. I’m not letting you go – not ever again.”


	27. III. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jae x You
> 
> Genre: slice of life, fluff, romance, bff-ery
> 
> Words: 6.1k
> 
> Description: enemies to lovers!jae
> 
> Warning: slight (very slight) swearing

 

School.

It’s one of the things you have a love-hate relationship with.

You love coming back to once again immerse yourself in the subjects you enjoy studying for but at the same time, you hate having to back among the crowd of raucous boys – and you’d thought that college-aged boys would be more mature than that. You could go on and rant for days about how much you couldn’t stand all the rowdy people in school but there was just one thing that would beat all of that – Park Jaehyung.

Boy was a plague that should be avoided at all costs.

He would always have some trick up his sleeves, each one more drastic than the last one. It baffled you how he managed to get away with all his jokes and you were beginning to think that he possessed some sort of magic that would allow everyone around him (including the teachers) to forget his antics.

 

You’d always been the prim and proper one, the kind that never stepped a toe out of line. As all your friends called you, The Perfect student Y/N: always on time for handing up your assignments and being where you should be.

Naturally, for people that do not fit within these neat rows, you tended to avoid them. Not because you looked down upon them, but simply because you knew that you wouldn’t click well with them. Therefore, it can be said that you didn’t go out to find trouble, trouble found you instead.

-

“What’s on your lunch menu today, Y/N?”

“I’m going to go with some Japanese food, been craving that stuff for days now.”

It was a normal queue experience; save for a few pricks that always cut the queue. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the sight – why can’t these people just queue up like everyone else? But alas, in life, there are bound to be pricks around so you just let it slide.

“What’s with that long face?”

“Queue-cutters is why.”

Your friend Rachel merely gave you a small smile, twirling her fork in the air a little before saying, “Just let it slide.”

“I would, but when you only have a 30 minute break and these people take up 10 minutes of your time, surely you would be bothered.”

She suddenly stopped twirling her fork in mid-air before focusing on something behind you.

Or to be more accurate: someone.

“Hey Y/N?”

On instinct, you reacted to your name and the next sensation you were aware of was someone’s lips on yours.

And that certain someone was Park Jaehyung.

In the beginning there was the sensation of your brain going numb from the shock and all you’re aware of is the feeling of his lips on yours – they feel soft? Like really soft; think marshmallow soft. But once your brain got past that stage and alarm bells went off in your head, you were harshly pushing him off and acting on instinct.

 

A sharp crack resonated through the entire canteen and you only realized what you had done when you felt the stinging pain on your palm.

 

Half of you were angry at him for pulling that prank on you, but the better half of you was feeling guilty for hurting him.

 

Before you could work out an appropriate response to the scene that both of you had caused, Rachel was dragging you away from the cafeteria and for the rest of the day, when you caught your reflection in the mirror, you found yourself involuntarily remembering the feeling of his lips against yours.

-

It didn’t help that you had many shared lessons with Jae (reason why you knew he was so infamous in the first place)

Seeing him gave you terrible flashbacks of That Day and the snickers from the rest of your classmates weren’t helping very much. In a bid to reduce your chances of being the target for his next prank, you chose a seat right at the back of the classroom, which was far enough from him, in your opinion.

But it seems that fate loves to deal you a shitty card so within the next 15 minutes, you found yourself face to face with him, your official designated partner for the year end History project.

Just as you were lost in your own thoughts (cursing and swearing at your terrible luck), you saw a hand waving in your peripheral vision followed by a snap of the fingers that brought you out from your trance.

“Huh?”

“A penny for your thoughts?” Jae asked with a quirk of his eyebrows. He then stretched out his arms along the length of your desk before propping himself up with his elbows as his cheeks rested on his knuckles. He then used the fingers on his free hand to drum lightly against your desk and for the first time, you notice the thin black band on his middle finger.

You leaned back in your chair, backing out of your own personal space now that he has taken over that space. You frowned a little, baffled at his behaviour.

_How is he so…calm? After that prank that he pulled and the fiasco that he caused, how is he so calm around me?_

But seeing as to how he didn’t seem fazed at all, you decided that you would not be the one to make things awkward, and opted to put that incident behind you.

“Nothing. Let’s get started.”

“Sure.”

The next hour went by uneventfully as both of you decided on your thesis and you thought that, maybe, _just maybe_ , that you could possibly work with him.

 

Well, you thought wrong.

-

Jae was an absolute PAIN to work with.

Nothing about the project went to plan – all thanks to him. His research always came late and he was never on time for your discussions. You were seething inside – but – enough time had been wasted.

It was in these moments that you decided to put your intelligence to good use – so – cost-benefit analysis right? You decided that the cost of wasting time reprimanding him was less than the benefits of making headway for the project so you simply settled for rolling your eyes at him before getting started on the project. After a couple of such incidents, you were now used to him running off mid-way during your discussions, leaving you to burn the midnight oil just to get through your thesis bit by bit.

 

Day of submission was finally approaching and with your knowledge of Jae performing for the upcoming school festival, you knew he wouldn’t have time left to meet you so you merely left him a text, asking him to get the last few paragraphs out over the weekend at his own time. You got an “ok” emoji back from Jae a couple of hours later and you left it as that. But when you checked back on the document the morning before submission, you nearly spit out your coffee all over your pristine white laptop.

 

The document was blank, entirely BLANK. Submission was in 10 hours’ time and the document was…BLANK? Fury surged through your veins and right at the moment, the devil called.

 

“YAH Park Jaehyung!”

“Y/N it’s 8am in the morning, why are you screaming into my ear?”

“You’re unbelievable. You have the audacity to ask me WHY I’m screaming at you at 8am in the morning? Tell me Jae, what do you think I’m screaming at you for?”

“Eh…that’s because the document is still blank?”

“Thank you for your response, I see you still at least have half a brain left to give me the correct answer.”

“Look, I’m sorry, band practice ended late last night because we had some loose ends to tie up. But thing is I’m calling you now…”

“You’re calling me because?”

“I need help with the thesis. I’m at the Coffee Time, could you come down to help me out…?”

Getting no response from your end of the line, Jae decided to use the magic word.

“Please?”

You took a deep breath as you closed your eyes to do a quick analysis in your brain.

  1. You do not help him and the cost is that you get a bad grade for History – you might even fail.
  2. You help him and in that manner tacitly condone his deplorable behavior.



As much as you hated yourself for it, you knew the decision was a clear one.

“I’ll be there in 30 minutes. But you sir, better get something out in the meantime because I will give you hell later when I see you.”

“Gotcha sweetheart, thanks.” You heard him make a vague kissing noises before the line went dead. You positively gagged before hauling yourself to the bathroom to make yourself look presentable.

You found him in the corner 30 minutes later sipping on black coffee with 3 other empty cups around him.

“What are you running on – pure caffeine?”

“Unfortunately so for the next 10 hours, I’ll crash properly once we hand up this assignment.”

Right at that moment a cup of green tea latte was placed in front of you and you couldn’t even mutter out a thank you before the waiter disappeared behind the counter again. Then the afterthought hit you: you hadn’t even ordered anything yet so what was this?

“Jae, did you order this?”

“Honey, you’re asking the obvious.”

“Just checking…how’d you know I usually get this though?”

“That’s, like, the only thing you get whenever I have to meet you here.”

“Didn’t think you’d have noticed…”

“I notice everything. I just don’t necessarily comment on it.”

In response, you raised an eyebrow before taking a sip of the familiar sweet drink.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Ok but I really need help with this thesis, could you come over here and look at this real quick?”

Shifting your body over to sit beside him, you focused your eyes on where he was pointing at on the screen and you did a quick scan of the paragraph he just wrote.

"I think you can explain further on what motivated the Soviet Union to end the Cold War. There are more reasons than just these."

"Like?" 

You'd then spent the next 15 minutes explaining it to him before he finally got what you were saying. As he nodded in understanding, you were about to scoot away so that he had space to type but soon you were trapped within his arms. 

Instead of asking you to move, Jae simply moved his long arms over your body before letting it settle by your side. So there you sat for the next 10 minutes, trapped between his chest and his right arm, as he typed out the paragraph. As much as you wanted to critique as he wrote the paragraph, the close proximity of your bodies was too distracting for you. Those 10 minutes also gave you sufficient time to realize how your small frame fitted nicely between the crevices of his body; he didn't even seem awkward typing with your whole body stuffed between his. You made a mistake of glancing to your left and you caught a glimpse of his milky white collarbones, realizing your height difference just by sitting down. 

_I'm probably only around the height of his shoulder._

"Done. Help me check?"

You merely nodded, and you finally could breathe again after he kept his arms back to himself. 

"This seems fine."

"Woohoo yes baby."

"Yea just keep typing. I'll move back."

"No just sit here. It's more efficient if I type and you check at the same time." 

Tugging you down by your wrists, you found yourself wedged between Jae and his arm once again and the cycle repeated itself for the next 5 hours until he finally got the last word out. 

"And...we're...done! Alas!"

Jae then raised his arms above his body in a stretch before allowing himself to sink against the comfortable plush seat. You'd let him catch a few moments of rest as you scanned through the document one last time. As much as you hated his lax attitude throughout the process, he was able to produce quality work in the end and you suppose you can't really argue with that. 

"Oi Jae." You slapped his biceps as you tried to shake him awake.

"Hm?" 

"We need to get this printed and in his letter tray within the next 2 hours."

"So?"

"So let's get this stuff printed!" 

"Alright relax. We can get it done here."

"What, in the cafe?"

"Yea. Gimme a moment." 

Taking the thumb drive from your hands, Jae disappeared behind the counter into the kitchen and reappeared a few moments later, as promised. 

"Done. Let's just wait here for the next few minutes." 

"How'd you even..."

"That, darling, is called connections."

"Ok I get that but we need to establish something: you need to stop addressing me with all these terms of endearment. I have a name that you can use, you know?" 

"But that's so boring!" 

"Excuse me; are you insulting my given name?" You peered down at Jae's figure that was now sprawled out all over the couch, narrowing your eyes at him as you placed your arms on your hips. 

Jae, unfazed as always, merely cracked an eye open to look at you before shutting them again.

"No, that isn't what I meant. I think you have a great name Y/N, I sincerely do. It's just that everyone calls you that and I wanna do something different, ya know?"

"And, what for?"

"Well, just because I am original."

You were in the middle of formulating your thoughts when a stack of papers landed beside you.

"Jae, your papers."

"Oh thanks Wonpil."

You cracked a small smile at the red-haired boy and he gave you a nice eye smile back before disappearing behind the counter again. 

"Let's hand this in and call it a day."

-

When both of you finally placed the document in your lecturer tray, it felt like an entire weight had been lifted off your shoulders. 

Walking along the largely empty hallways, Jae brought up the idea of dinner and you were bickering with him about suitable dinner options when you froze as your grip on Jae's shirt tightened. 

 

Coming straight in your direction was your worst nightmare. It felt like death was coming - you could almost feel the icy cold fingers of death wrap around your throat. Why now - after all your effort to forget him? 

 

Your cheating ex was currently walking towards you and by his side was the girl that he cheated on you with. It felt like getting shoot. Twice. It took you a year to forget the humiliation, to be able to walk down the school hallways comfortably without feeling like everyone was either staring at you in pity or disgust. It took you another 6 months to stop thinking about him daily, and another 6 months to start meeting new people again, to start being alright with talking to someone of the opposite gender. 

 

It took you so long, so, very, long to finally settle into a new routine and get back to living your life like how you used to. 

 

But just the sight of him sent your house crumbling, leaving it in shambles again. 

 

It was all too much to take in and you swore you stopped breathing all the way until you felt someone tug your chin towards them. 

 

"Hey Y/N, stay with me and listen to me ok? We're just gonna stay like this till they're gone and I'm gonna talk to you. I'm gonna laugh, I'm going to say nonsensical stuff. All you gotta do is play along but if you can't do that, just nod your head when you hear me say something." 

"Ok."

"See, that's it. You're doing great. So back to the question: what's for dinner today?"

"Eh. Eh. Eh...sushi."

"Sushi. Perfect. What's your favorite sushi?"

You were about to open your mouth when their loud peals of laughter broke your train of thoughts. You physically winced at the noise - like that noise hurt you. You swear you heard Jae curse under his breath and now he was pulling your hair from behind your ears to cover your ears before he whispered into them. 

"Ignore them. Just close your eyes and lean your forehead against my shoulder if you need to. Don't look at them, don't process their presence." 

Right at that moment as they walked past, Jae took you into his embrace, his hands deliberately covering your ears and his shoulder obstructing your view of them. When he was sure that they were gone, he then let you go slowly before peering down at you from his superior height.

"So we were saying: sushi for dinner?"

"I want to drink."

-

So there you found yourself a few hours later, empty plastic containers lying in the sand around you, a bottle in hand as you took another chug from the lip of the glass.

“So you’re the type to drown your sorrows in alcohol.”

You let the bitter liquid burn through the back of your throat, your face turning into a grimace. With tear prickling the edges of your eyes, you turned your profile towards Jae before saying,

“I found that it’s the most *hiccup* effective *hiccup* way *hiccup* of drowning out one’s sorrow.”

“Ok you’ve had enough for tonight, give me that.”

Jae proceeded to take the bottle from you before placing it down on the sand beside him.

“Also…I’m not crying because of that asshole…it’s just the alcohol…”

“Ok you’re babbling nonsense now Y/N.”

“No I’m serious!”

“You just downed 3 bottles because you saw him today.”

“Do you always have to be so brutally honest?”

“I just am towards you because I know you can handle it.”

“Prick.”

“I might be one, but at least I’m nice enough to drink with you.”

And to that, you didn’t have a defense so you just turned back to face the sea, watching the moonlight illuminate the surface of the midnight blue sea.

“If you wanna say something, I’m all ears.”

You scoffed a little, not quite sure how to respond to Jae’s offer.

“I don’t even know where to begin.”

“If you have no destination in mind, where you start doesn’t matter. You can start anywhere and end up anywhere and be alright. I’ll just wait here.”

“True. It’s just that…it’s just that I’ve been trying so hard, but I don’t think I can ever fully let go of what he’s done to me. And it scares me to have to live with this baggage for the rest of my life because it makes me feel like I’ll never be able to find love again. I know it sounds silly – because he’s just 1 guy out of the billions of people that make up the male population in this world. But once is enough to make me scared. But I don’t want to be scared.”

Jae merely hums in understanding and this goes on for the rest of the night – you spilling all your fears and secrets out, in which the only witnesses are Jae and the moon. At some point you ended up crying (though you don’t remember why or how you started) and soon you were breathing in the familiar cologne scent as Jae gently slips into the space beside you and holds you close.

Close enough to make you feel comforted, and almost close enough to help stick your broken pieces back together.

Jae didn’t know why he was so kind to you – almost everyone else was just a subject of his pranks but he felt so strongly for you. Admittedly, you were once (and only once) a subject of his pranks, but for Park Jaehyung to partake in the act of comforting someone? Even Jae knew that was something out of his league.

But he felt compelled to do so; maybe even obliged to do so. He wanted to make you feel better, and to stay by your side to make sure that you were alright.

-

You thought you would be able to get rid of Jae once the project was over but boy wouldn’t even leave you alone for a second. Your phone would blow up every minute, the screen displaying some notification from him. He was literally everywhere – blowing up your social media and messaging applications. Jae would also “mysteriously” appear at the café whenever you were studying there, claiming that he was “coincidentally” there when you were. That happened a couple of times – until you called him out for him and very publicly told him that he could have just asked if he really wanted to study with you. From that day onward, study sessions became official. On most days they were fine, but you hated days when you had to deal with Jae that was running low on caffeine. Those were the days where you bickered with him so much, it felt like both of you were enemies once again. He would also turn into the most distracting thing in the whole world, successfully earning dirty glares from patrons around you. Once, it got so bad that Jae, with a quarter of his mind still functioning, had asked you to strap him to the chair with a cable tie.

“Strap me.”

“What?”

“I said strap me!”

The whole café immediately turned to stare at the both of you; even Wonpil had stopped making his coffee because of what Jae said.

“Jae, would you stop being so loud! Now people are going to think that I’m some kinky girl holding you hostage!”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize how loud my voice would be. But please, Y/N, could you just strap me into the chair? If not I swear within the next 5 minutes I’m going to run back to the dorm, waste my entire weekend away, and fail this test on Monday.”

“Are you serious about this?”

“Yea! I even came prepared.” He held out a bunch of white cable ties in his hand and you gingerly took some of them.

From your spot under the table, you hissed at Jae,

“Seriously who taught you this?”

“No one. I was just staring at the loose cable ties Sungjin had on his table and decided that I could put that to good use.”

“This is why I would never let you make the plans.”

“This is also why you’re smart – because no one ever lets me make the plans.”

-

Everyday your interactions with Jae stayed the same but gradually over time, something changed. And it took a whole lot of stumbling and falling (literally) before Jae realized what had happened to him.

 

You felt someone step on the back of your shoes and the next sensation you're aware of is falling forward. Judging from the gasps around you, you figured you must have had a pretty nasty fall even though you don't feel the pain yet. 

Just as you managed to get yourself up into a sitting position, someone was already by your side and you'll be able to recognise this voice even from a million miles away. 

"Give me your hand."

Without even waiting for you to say anything, Jae was tugging your wrist gently towards him as he slowly poured water over the wounds on your palm. It stung, and you tried to suppress your hiss of pain by biting onto your lips. 

"I've washed off all the dirt for now; we'll get that dressed at the infirmary. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

You shook your head and proceeded to stand on your own, only to fall again if it hadn't been for Jae's hand supporting your waist. 

"And someone said she wasn't hurt anywhere else." 

"I'm not lying! It really didn't hurt just now until I tried to apply pressure on it..."

Looking at you with his eyes, Jae sighed a little before crouching down before you, his wide back towards you. 

Tapping his shoulder, he said, "Get on. I'll carry you to the infirmary."

"Wait, what, no!" I can walk there myself!"

"Don't make me-"

Just to prove your point, you tried to take a step towards the school building but all you did was yelp in pain. 

"OK I'm doing it."

Before you could register what was happening, Jae was carrying your bridal style. 

"Eppp!" Unused to the feeling of being off the ground, you involuntarily let a yelp slip through your lips as you buried your face into Jae's neck. 

"Scared of heights?" 

"Yes..."

And of course, it wouldn't be Jae if he didn't decide to tease you a little. 

He proceeded to toss you into the air before letting you drop lower into the ground, just to get a reaction out of you. 

"Jaeee!!!" 

"Ok, ok I'll stop...let's go for real now."

You don't show your face for the rest of the trip to the infirmary and naturally, you miss the soft smile on Jae's face when he feels your grip on his neck tighten as he holds you a little closer to him.

-

Setting you gently down on the bed, Jae then walked around getting supplies from the different cabinets around. 

"How do you know this place so well Jae?"

"Let's just say I'm a frequent visitor to this place due to my pranks that go awry."

You nodded in understanding as he makes his way over to you with his hands full of supplies.

"Hand."

You stretch it out as you did just now and Jae gently applies the ointment on for you, blowing at it every few seconds to ease your pain. The sensation of his breath against your wrists causes you to shiver, which earns a response from him. 

"You cold?"

"No..."

He raises an eyebrow, says nothing else and goes back administering first aid for you. 

"Better now?", he asked, as he smoothed the band aid over your wound. 

"Yea."

"Don't move. I'm gonna get the nurse over to check on your leg."

In 3 jogs, he was out of the infirmary, leaving you behind, slightly missing his touch. 

 

"No walking for a week."

"What?"

"Yea you heard me right young lady. No walking for a week. That was a pretty bad fall. Anyone you can call to pick you up?"

"No. They're out of town."

"Relatives."

"None either."

"Well then, guess I gotta keep you here till someone can come and get you."

You fiddle a little with the sheets, unsure of what to do next. You didn't expect to be spending the night here...in your gym clothes...

"I'll stay with her."

By now you don't ever botherb

"By all means, Jae. I'll be back tomorrow morning to check on her. And you young man, better keep your hands to yourself."

"What? I am hurt Mr Kang, how can you have such a bad misjudgment of me?"

"You're not known for being the Troublemaker King for nothing. See you two tomorrow!" 

With a click of the doorknob, Mr Kang left the two of you alone, for the night.

Seeing as there was nothing better to do, you decided to lie down on the bed and ignore the dull ache in your ankles. 

"I'm going to stay right here, so just call me if you need anything."

Jae then tried to settle into the bed next to you. Keyword: tried. 

 

"No, not there!"

"Why?"

"Too close." You then made a shooing gesture with your hand, and Jae finally got the message. 

Rolling his eyes a little, Jae slid off the bed into one further away, leaving a gap of 1 bed between the both of you. 

With his back facing you, he said in mock amusement, "Is this ok for you now, Your Highness?"

"Yes. Stay like that and don't face me."

He said nothing and merely stuck a thumb in the air to signal "ok"

But once he heard the rhythmic rise and fall in your breaths, certain that you had fallen asleep, he quietly turned over to face you, a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips as he watched the way the moonlight softly lit up your face, making you glow like a fairy.

 

And in that moment – something within Jae snapped. Why was he smiling? Why does his heart feel so full watching you finally at peace? Why does this moment feel so sweet – sweetness that can rival even the sweetest, most diabetes inducing candy in the world? Jae tried to put the pieces together: that overwhelming need to protect you, that urge to be in touch with you every single day, the small sense of loss whenever he doesn’t…

And the urge to want to hold you close and call you his forever.

Jae understood what that all meant immediately.

 _I’m in love. Holy shit I’m in love with Y/N_.

-

Once you finally got better, you were back to your daily routine of studying with Jae at the cafe. Although he didn’t seem to be studying much these days; he always seems distracted by something, and was a lot more fidgety around you as compared to others. He couldn’t look you in the eye anymore, and his hands would immediately retract the moment they made contact with yours. He was constantly tapping the end of his pen on the pages of his books, or humming the occasional odd tune. It was driving you crazy and – you snapped.

“Park Jaehyung what is wrong with you?”

“Nothing!”

“Oh really, it’s nothing? You’ve been fiddling around with things for the entire day! And you’re telling me it’s nothing!”

“I’m serious, it’s nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me! I know something is wrong so would you please just say it and then get it over with?”

“But there is nothing to say.”

_I don’t have time to play guessing games with him. I am this close to ruining that pretty little face of his._

“Fine. If you don’t want to say it and your heart isn’t into studying today, you can just go, you know?”

He chewed on his lower lip before throwing his hands up in the air.

“Fine, Y/N, if you’re so angry with me, I’ll leave.”

“What? Jae I’m not angry at you, I’m just saying that if you can’t focus today, maybe you could use a break.”

“Now I’m going to throw your words back at you: don’t lie to me Y/N. I know what you truly mean when you said that.”

“Ok, then leave. You’re just being completely unreasonable now Jae.”

“I am.”

And without another word or so much as a backward glance at you, Jae took off down the flight of stairs, leaving you exasperated. That felt like the final blow dealt to you and for the rest of the night you tried to fight back the tears whenever you thought of the fight you had just now.

It wasn’t the first time you’ve fought with Jae ever since you knew him – but why did his words just now hurt and sting so much?

-

For the rest of the week, none of you said anything to one another, both your pride being prized much more than the friendship. But you won’t deny it – you missed hearing his voice, missed hanging out with him. When he wouldn’t even acknowledge you when you walked past one another in the hallways; not even a glance in your direction, it felt like the ghost of your past relationship was catching up with you again. The fear struck deep into your core – what if this is really the end of your friendship with Jae? You wondered: _was it killing him as much as it is killing me?_

The answer: Yes.

For the past one week, Jae also had to battle with his inner feelings. Whenever he saw you, he wanted to run up to you and just hold you tight but he can’t do that – not after his outburst, and not before he could figure out what it was that he wanted to say to you.

 

After much debate and self-berating, Jae decided that the best thing to do would be to _just say it_. So he decided to call you one night, and he knew you missed him as much as he missed you when you picked up on the first ring.

“Hi.”

“Hi Jae.”

“Hey, erm, can we talk?”

“Maybe not now…I’m still the café.”

“Why are you still at the café? It’s already 10pm, you should be resting.”

“No I can’t rest yet…”

The weariness in your voice was evident but Jae knew what was on your mind. You were having one of those moments again – worrying too much and doing too much, so much so that you’ll neglect yourself. It was these moments in which you’d knew Jae to pull you out from the cage you’ve trapped yourself in; your own mind.

“Y/N I’ll be there in 5 minutes. Don’t move.” And he didn’t even wait for your response to know that he’s been given the green light before he sprinted off in search of you.

 

When he got there, the whole place was empty and he found you sitting by the corner, at the same table both of you would always use. He found you with your head against the table and he treaded over carefully.

“Hey.”

You lifted your head slightly and he could tell you were in bad shape. The circles under your eyes, your pale lips and the lines along your forehead all said too much – though he could see the fire in your eyes as you fought to keep that flame alight.

“Hey.” He tried again to reach out to you, this time holding your hand in his and he used the other to tuck your hair behind your ear.

“Hi.”

“You need sleep.”

“I look that terrible, huh?”

“Yea you do. Come on, let’s get you home.”

He then proceeded to stand before he got pulled down by you again.

“No I haven’t gone through this chapter yet, if it comes out tomorrow-”

“You’ll answer it just fine Y/N. You’ve already gone through this once when you taught me, remember?”

“That doesn’t count.”

“It does. Come on now…”

“No I can’t.”

“Y/N, please stop making me worry, I love you and-”

“What?”

“What?”

“Whatever you just said – say it again.”

“What did I say?”

“That 3 word phrase – say it again.”

“I said what?”

“You just that you loved me.”

You watched as his eyes grew wide and he slapped a hand over his mouth. That’s when you heard a very muffled “shit” come from his mouth.

You stood up to face him closer and said,

“Did you mean what you said?”

“I messed up, this wasn’t how I planned it in my head but since I’ve already said it, let me finish it.”

He tugged you by your wrist towards him before trapping you in his embrace.

“Y/N – I love you. With all my heart, I do. Fate and time has brought us closer together and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve managed to find someone that I want to protect and treasure for the rest of my life – and that someone is you. I’m usually good with words but in case – screw it. In case you can’t hear my thundering heartbeats, I’m going to tell you now that it’s racing at a hundred miles per hour and this is the best confession I can think of right now. I promise that with more time, I’ll become better with my words but for now please accept my heart.”

“I hate you Park Jaehyung.”

“What? I just said that I love you very sincerely-”

He was cut off by a very sudden attack on his lips and his mind that was already goo became even goo.

“I hate you because you chose the worst time to tell me this. How am I supposed to sit for the exam without this moment replaying in my mind?”

His face lit up at your comment but that smile immediately turned into a smirk,

“Well, in this case, maybe I should make things harder for you.”

“Jae, no! This much for a night is enough.”

“Just kidding – I need you to do well so that we can go on our date in a good mood.”

“Date?”

“Yea, of course! I need to bring you out on a date! Park Jaehyung not bringing his girl out on a date to show off as to his friends? Unthinkable.”

Concern washed over your features and Jae immediately lifted your chin and connected your foreheads together.

“What’s wrong?”

“This…this isn’t a joke right? This is not another one of your pranks right?”

“No, this isn’t a prank. I’m done with those. This is real, this is true, ok?”

“Ok.”

You smiled very softly and Jae connected your lips once, twice, then again and again. He did it again and again, until it was enough for you to see the truth behind his words.


	28. IV. Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Dowoon x You
> 
> Genre: enemies to lovers!6
> 
> Words: 4k
> 
> Description: Sometimes what you need is one less competitor, and one more friend instead.

 

Yoon Dowoon.

Just the mention of his name ticks me off. That perfect…all-rounder…argh. Boys look up to him as their idol and almost every girl has a major crush on him; or at least they agree that he is cute. It’s almost painful for me to watch people sing praises about this guy – seriously, what’s so good about him? Ok fine…I concede: maybe I do know why people admire him so much.

He’s an effortless charmer.

He was blessed with good looks – he has this distinctive baby face with puffy cheeks that makes girls want to pinch them and care for him, although I am sure that he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He excels in his studies – the type of sleep through the whole lesson but still is able to answer the question correctly when teachers call upon him. At times, I honestly wonder how he gets all this information without ever paying attention; was he born with it? He also plays for the school soccer team and is their star player. He’d already proven his talent at soccer since he was a freshman, and rumour has it that team captain Park Sungjin even had to chase him down to make him join the team – simply because he was _that_ good. The list does not end here. He’s also a multi-instrumentalist, although he’s best at the drums. Last I saw him; he was playing both the acoustic guitar and keyboard. And who knows what other hidden talents he has up his sleeves?

The fact that he was so perfect didn't help because for as long as I remember, Yoon Dowoon and I had been rivals. We had both been together since kindergarten, progressing on to the same primary, secondary and now, the same tertiary institution. Even if he wasn't in the same class, we pretty much took the same subjects so there was lots of room for competition.

And competition it was indeed.

Teachers we had in common compared us to one another for our brilliance, and we were often on opposing teams during school competitions. It also doesn't help that our parents are colleagues with one another, so I get compared to him even at home. It sparked the competitive streak in us and we immediately became rivals; no official declaration of war was needed and there was the implicit knowledge that our goal was to beat one another at every chance we get.

School exams became the best arena for us to pit ourselves with one another and I really hate to say this but...each time...he beats me. On the rare occasion that I do better in a certain subject, he still has a better overall score than I do. The guy never slips, and it's so annoying.

Yoon Dowoon has always been a cut above the rest, and simply being the best is not enough for him. He has to gloat about it – but only to me just to piss me off.

In the beginning, he was just a minor irritant in my daily life. It is unfortunate that the school library is situated right next to the soccer field and so every time that I am there, and the soccer team is having training, I would be “graced” with Dowoon’s presence during their breaks. He would either having a teasing joke hanging by his lips, or he’ll just refuse to budge, letting the sour smell of body odor stink up my entire area and leaving me unable to concentrate for the next few minute as the smell dissipated. When he was cheekier, he’ll steal my textbook from right under my nose, and then I’ll have to chase him before I finally get it back.

Afterwards, there were very subtle hints of competition. He always gives me that knowing smirk when he knows that he has gotten a better score than me, or after his team has won a competition against mine – a smirk that says, “Hah! Beat you again!”

However, he was the most annoying during exam season – or more specifically, during the reveal of results. He always makes sure that I knew my school ranking very well for major exams – he’ll always check for both of our names before finding the golden opportunity to make eye contact with me. Then, with the famous quirk of his eyebrows, he’ll raise both hands to form the numbers of our rankings side by side and I only needed to read his facial expression to know that I had lost, as usual.

That just made me feel horrible inside. It was one thing to do well, but to have to shove it in my face? Not cool Dowoon, not cool at all. He always gets the last laugh because he indeed does better but for once… I would like to not be laughed at, or be made fun of.

_For once…I just want to prove Yoon Dowoon wrong. Just once; I want to be the one to have the last laugh._

Finals were the next arena to battle it out and this time round it isn’t going to be any different. I am _seriously_ going to beat Yoon Dowoon, no matter the cost.

-

In order to achieve my goal, sacrifices have to be made. It became easier for me to reject friends’ request for outings, or my parents call to have a family day during weekends. My flashcards became a constant companion during meal times and my hand never stopped moving. If they weren’t holding a pen or pencil to do questions on paper, they’ll be stuck in air, forming letters and numbers to the question in my mind instead. I hardly saw sunlight, I was constantly stuck in my room like a cavemen. It had slipped from my notice that I was gradually eating lesser and smaller meals, sometimes missing them entirely. Everyone, but me, could see that I was gradually reducing myself to nothing but skin and bones.

I’d thought that I was strong, that I could do this – but the human body has its limits, and one day it seemed that I had pushed it too far.

I was at the school rooftop, eager to get away from the crowds in the canteen. The school bell rang, signalling that it was time to head back down. Closing my books, I stood up but when I did, the blood rushing to my head knocked the wind out of me and white flooded my vision. I could feel my knees buckle under me and I had absolutely no control over my body. I braced myself for I expected to the feel the sharp crack of my skull against the hard floor but nothing came. The last thing I saw was the familiar side view of someone’s raven black hair and his puffy cheeks.

When I came to, the first sensation was the ache that was coursing through my entire body. With some difficulty, I tried to raise my neck to relieve the tightness there and from my periphery, I could make out the blurry image of Yoon Dowoon with his head beside my hand and the heavy weight on my wrist made me realise that he was holding onto it.

“Dowoon-ah”

He awoke with a jolt before saying, “Oh you’re awake! Let me get the nurse.” Just as he stood from the chair, the curtains around my bed swung open and he was chased out while the school nurses checked on me. I expected him to leave now that his business was done here, but he didn’t. I could see his silhouette through the light green curtains. They did some simply physical checks on my body before ascertaining that I was fit to leave. But of course, I wasn’t let off the hook by the stern Ms Park.  

“You’re a clear sign of over exhaustion. Take breaks and most importantly, eat your meals. You passed out due to low blood sugar levels. I do not want to see you back here again, understood?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good. Yoon Dowoon-sshi!”

“Yes?”

“Send the young lady home, and make sure she eats.”

“I’ll make sure of it. Thank you.”

The nurses then left, and picking up my bag with his free hand, he offered the other to me. As much as I would not like to be in the presence of Yoon Dowoon, I couldn’t push him away because I knew I would collapse if I did so. Instead, I gently took his arm, and he led me out o the room. We walked in awkward silence before he stammered my name.

“Y-Y-Y/N-ah.”

“What?”

“We’ll get dinner now; I know this really good samgyetang place. Let’s go?”

Even though he ended with a question, I knew I was not being given an option. Instead, I weakly nodded my head. Besides, I was hungry. I last time I ate was…12 hours ago?

-

When we finally sat down at our corner seat, Dowoon ordered a large portion without hesitation.

“Yah Yoon Dowoon.”

“Hmmm?”

“You ordered so much food; you better finish all of it.”

“No, we’re going to finish it. Nurse’s orders, remember? It’s my job to make sure you eat.”

Any other day I would have rolled my eyes at him but now I was too tired to even do that. Instead, I let him be stubborn, and left him be.

Throughout the rest of the night, Dowoon did everything for me, and wouldn’t let me lift a finger to do anything except feed myself. “You should conserve your energy.” he said. I watched as he wolfed down his half of a chicken, and asked for more rice afterwards. He ate 4 bowls of rice, and meanwhile I couldn’t even finish my half of the chicken.

Just as I was poking listlessly at the chicken, he took the bowl from me and headed to the front counter to have it packaged and pay for it.

“Yah.”

“Yes?”

I watched as he stuffed his change into his wallet before asking, “How much was the meal?”

“It’s ok, my treat.”

I proceeded to take the receipt from his hand but he quickly threw it away.

“Yah Yoon Dowoon! I want to pay for my own meal.”

“You can, but next time. Come on, let’s not fight. I want to bring you somewhere else. Can you stand by yourself?”

“Of course I can. I’m not that incapable.”

“I was just asking.”

Once again, he picked up my bag like it weighed nothing before taking my wrist in his hand, our goodbyes to the store owner drowned out by the din from the dinner crowd around us as he led me through the maze of people. The road to our destination was vaguely familiar and soon I found myself standing in front of an arcade.

“Isn’t this…” I couldn’t finish my sentence, memories of our younger days rendering me speechless.

“The arcade that we came to when we were younger? Yea it is. Do you still like the claw machine?”

“I do but…”

“Ok!”

He then brought me all the way to the one filled with Pooh bears inside.

“How do you know that I like Pooh Bears?”

A soft smile lit up his face before he turned to me to say, “Elementary school, remember? You’d always have something Pooh related on you: bag, pencil case, soft toy and so on…I’m assuming you still like them?”

“I do…”

“Ok, then today I’ll win one for you today!”

Just as he was about to slot a coin into the machine, I stopped him.

“No, don’t! You know these machines are rigged right? You’ll just end up wasting your money.”

“It’s ok, I think I figured out how to get one with as little tries as possible. Just…try to let loose today ok?”

I then slowly let go of his hand and watch him as he tried to pick up the Christmas version Pooh. I knew he meant more when he said his last sentence, but what exactly does he mean?

-

After numerous rounds, Dowoon was left with an almost empty wallet. Meanwhile, I had gained 5 Pooh plush toys for free. Through the night, I hadn’t been able to forget his last sentence, and I ended up replaying it over and over again in my mind, trying to figure out the real meaning behind his words. The words were out of my mouth before I realized that I had said them.

“What did you really mean when you told me to let loose tonight?”

Dowoon halted to a stop in front of me, causing me to bump into his wide back. Turning around, he peered into my eyes before answering with a question of his own.

“Can I ask you a serious question?”

“What…is it?”

“When was the last time you went out with friends?”

The odd question stunned me but as I racked my mind for the answer, I found an even more shocking revelation – I can’t seem to remember the answer to his question.

Sucking in a breath, I narrowed my eyes before answering. “I don’t really remember… maybe in May? I only remember that it was to celebrate Caroline’s birthday.”

“How about spending time with your family? When was the last time you did so?”

Once again, I can’t remember. I thought long and hard about the last memory I had of seeing my family, only to conjure up sketchy and blurry images. “June…I think…to celebrate Grandma’s birthday…why can’t I seem to remember correctly?”

When I look up at him, I find him staring at me with a somber expression, plump lips set in a thin line as the lights in his eyes dimmed. He almost looks like he’s in pain.

“It’s been a long time since you last spent time with your family or friends, hasn’t it? You couldn’t see it, but everyone else can, and I can as well. We could all see your effort, but it pains us to see you tear yourself down, to see you bleed yourself dry through ink and paper. The rest of the world might not have seen it, but knowing you, I can safely assume that you must have kicked, and cried and clawed at yourself for not being good enough. I guess you must have broken down at night, only to put your pieces back together by yourself when the sun rises. You’ve been running so hard, that you’ve forgotten that even the best needs a break sometimes. ”

We’re not friends, but he does know me so well. With each line, images of nights spent crying alone in the toilet alone flashed through my mind and _I remember_. I remember what it felt like to stifle my sobs because it was late at night and I didn’t want to wake my parents up. I remember how tired I felt when my parents asked about my puffy eyes after I cried; and I simply lied to avoid having to answer questions, or to see the look of pain on their face. I remember the times when friends asked me if I was ok, and I would lie that I was fine, even though I clearly wasn’t. I remember their kind gestures, because they knew I was struggling but that I was also too stubborn to give up.

_I remember it all now._

I remember how everyone tried to help me, but yet I kept putting myself down. By the time he was done, I was in tears and I don’t resist when he steps forward to wrap me in a tight hug. Smoothing my hair down, he comforts me.

“It’s ok, let it all out. You’ll feel better afterwards. You’ve done well Y/N-ah, you can take a break now.”

At this point, I was completely in tears and they wouldn’t stop, causing his school shirt to become wet. It took a few more minutes of him rubbing my shoulders and smoothing my hair before I finally calmed down and released my grip from him. Finding the ability to speak again, I finally croaked out.

“You said that I can take a break, but how can I when I haven’t even achieved my goal yet?”

“You won’t be alone, I can help you.”

“We’re enemies, remember?  You’re not supposed to help me; you’re supposed to _defeat_ me.”

“One more friend is better than one more enemy. I don’t want to be enemies anymore. We don’t have to be friends but we can start with being acquaintances. We can…study together. We can help one another, sharpen each other’s thinking. Sounds good?”

“You’re crazy Yoon Dowoon. Which opponent become friends with their enemies even before the fight has begun?”

“No one. Which is why no one has won, but I might.”

“What are you hoping to win?”

“A friend. So what do you say? Let’s shake on it?”

I’m worried that he’s lying, that is all just a ploy to let me put my guards down but I shake his hand nonetheless. When I see his genuine smile, I know that he’s not lying, and perhaps better days lie ahead.

-

Just as he said, studying together really was better than studying alone. We sharpened our thinking skills together, coming up with better ways to solve problems. Thrashing out theories with him also helped me find loopholes in my own argument, as he did with his. Now that I get more done in a shorter period of time with him helping me, I also begin to spend more time with family and friends, and everyone seems happier to see the old me back, including myself. One thing still remains the same though – we still haven’t lost the competitive streak. Sometimes we get into heated arguments over what we insist is right, but we always make peace before the day ends. With each passing moment, we learn a little more about one another and most endearing fact that I’ve learnt about him was perhaps his love for animals.

When he walks me home, and he’s telling me some interesting story, he never finishes it. He would always abruptly stop mid-sentence and with wide eyes, run towards the stray cat or dog. One evening, I got particularly jealous. When Dowoon went to pat the fifth stray cat that we passed by that night, I recognized the cat as Mr Grumpy, the oldest cat in this neighbor with a terrible temper. Despite me feeding him for years, Mr Grumpy never lets me pet him. The best acknowledgement I ever got was him finishing the food I gave him and that night, I swore Mr Grumpy appeared in my sleep to tell me, “Thank you for the food, you peasant. At least it was acceptable.”

But what was Mr Grumpy doing now? He was rubbing himself all over Yoon Dowoon’s leg.

“You’re really lucky Dowoon-ah.”

“Why?” From his squatting position, Dowoon peered up at me through his black fringe, as he continued giving Mr Grumpy a back rub.

“This is the neighborhood's resident grumpy cat, and he’s notorious for never letting anyone touch him. Not even me, someone that’s been feeding him for years. And now he’s all over you, someone that he just met for the first time. You’re really good with animals.”

“Thank you…” Dowoon immediately looked down and from beneath the fringes of his hair, I could see his ears rapidly turning red, and he turned his face downwards, further from me.

_Was he shy about receiving compliments, or is he just shy about receiving compliments me?_

A smile makes it way to my lips and I capture the sight in front of me with my eyes, to keep as a memory. It was little moments that made me realize how endearing Dowoon is; he is a pure soul. And maybe, just maybe…a small piece of me falls in love with him with each passing day

-

Just like that, both of us journeyed towards finals together and at long last, the end was near. Finals start tomorrow and both of us were now on the way home after being chased out of the café, and he’s walking me home, like he always does.

I keep my eyes to the ground as I walk so I don’t notice when he stops, and I bump into his back again. That moment felt like déjà vu except that when I look up, I am smiling instead of crying.

Dangling from Dowoon’s fingers right in front of my eyes was a keychain. It was a Pooh bear holding onto a honey pot and right in the middle of the honey pot was a four-leaved clover.

“What’s this for?”

“A good luck charm for finals and it’s for you.”

“Thank you...you didn’t have to.”

I took the keychain from his hand as I watched him scratch the back of his head.

“But I wanted to…”

“Thank you, I really like it.” Standing on my tiptoes to reach his cheek, I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and when I pulled back; his whole face was red, right to the tips of his ears and the base of his neck. I tried to suppress my laughter but a small giggle still escaped me. He raised a hand to fan himself and he tried to open his mouth to speak but his mouth betrayed him and no words could come out. I waited for him to calm down before he spoke.

“Let’s broker a deal.”

“And what sort of deal would that be?”

“Think of it as payment for me helping you study.”

“Ok. What’s your deal?”

“If you beat me at finals, you have to grant me my wish.”

“And what might that wish be?”

“I’ll think about it after finals. But is that a yes from you?”

“Ok. You have yourself a deal.”

Throughout finals season, I hung the keychain on my pencil case and when in doubt, I’ll look at it, remember Dowoon and all his tips and when I walked out of the hall after the last paper, I felt a little more confident than I usually did.

_It was indeed better to have one more friend than one more enemy._

-

The most heart-pounding part was finally here – the revelation of the results. This time, it was me that ran to the front to get a glimpse of the results. Working my way down the list, I found my name quickly enough.

_Y/N…5 th…._

_Yoon Dowoon…6 th _

_I did it!_

Just to tease Dowoon and give him a taste of his own medicine, I turned back to find Dowoon already looking at me, before I raised the number 5 and 6 and gave my best Dowoon smirk impersonation. He bowed his head and chuckled to himself, knowing that he had utterly lost.

Making my way through the crowd towards him, he immediately greeted me with a word of congratulations.

“Well done Y/N, how do you feel?”

“Pretty good, but I must give you credit too. Thank you, study sessions with you really did help. So about your wish, have you thought about it yet?”

Upon mention of his wish, he turned a deep shade of red and for a moment I thought he might collapse right there and then.

“Dowoon, are you ok? You’re really red now.”

“I’m ok! Wait I mean I’m not but I’m ok!”

“Ok so you’re ok. But I just asked you what your wish was so you have to tell me what it is?”

Instead of answering me like a normal person would, Dowoon had to shut his eyes, bow his head before he mumbled his response.

“willyoubemygirlfriend?”

“Sorry, what did you say? Say that again, but slowly.”

Taking another deep breath, he replied after a nervous shake of his head and a grin spread over his face.

“I would like you to be my girlfriend.”

This time, it was my turn to grin widely before I jumped into his arms.

“Of course I would! So, Mr.Boyfriend, how about going on our first official date now? This time, I’ll pay.”

“Well, I can’t defy the queen, so as you wish.”

“Let’s go!”

Later that night as he gives me a shy peck on my cheeks, I vow to remember every moment spent with him.


	29. V. Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Sungjin x You
> 
> Genre: enemies to lovers!6
> 
> Warning: some cursing and swearing
> 
> Words: 5k
> 
> Description: There is always more than meets the eye

_I’m late, I’m late, I’m late, shit!_

You repeatedly mouthed the words to yourself under your breath as you squeezed past the throng of people crowding the hallways, occasionally throwing an apology across your shoulder if you bumped into someone. Opting to not take the front entrance into the lecture hall, you ran up flights of stairs to reach the back entrance. By the time you reached the top, you were gasping for breath, your thighs were burning and you could feel the first beads of sweat roll down your back. Slipping through the crack of the heavy wooden door, you settled into the closest empty seat, trying to steady your breathing as your pants became too loud within the enclosed space.

_Deep breaths Y/N, deep breaths..._

You internally heaved a sigh of relief when you saw the empty podium in front, glad that your professor for this class will not have a bad impression of you.

But your relief was short-lived as the booming voice right next to you soon commanded for attention.

“Alright let’s get started, now that the last student is here.”

As he walks down the flight of stairs to reach the podium, it gives you enough time to observe the authoritative figure. His black leather jacket and ripped black jeans made him look exceptionally tough, and you swore you saw some male students flinch when he walked past them. His hair, which was the colour of warm chocolate, was too long and brushed against his eyelids.

 _He looks like a model that has just stepped out of a Harley Davidson advertisement_.

But you mentally berated yourself for the inappropriate thought, and proceeded to haul it out of the window.

When he stepped onto the podium, he surveyed the whole room before starting again.

 

“Good morning. My name is Park Sungjin and I’ll be your TA for this semester and for this class.”

 

Ah, so this was the legendary Park Sungjin that you had heard so much about during your first semester. He was famous for being the top student of the graduating batch, with an impeccable portfolio to match. Apparently, he’s so good to the point that many companies and graduate schools have offered him a place among them. But, he is also notorious for being a tough TA and everyone’s advice was to just stay away from his bad side if you ever had the fortune (or misfortune) of being in his classes.

All you wanted was to pass this class peacefully so you made it your goal to not cross the line.

However, when he opens his mouth to give the next set of instructions, you knew that you were already on the wrong side of the line.

“So now, if you’re ready Ms Y/N, I’ll begin with the introduction on the topic.” Giving you one last hard glance, he turned to face the screen. Everyone else was furiously copying down notes, but not you.

_He said my name, he knows who I am. I’ve been singled out._

It felt like someone had just passed you the death sentence.

-

A week passed by uneventfully and you tried your best to not attract attention to yourself in class. You were on time, and you were attentive in class. You never gave Sungjin trouble – or Mr Park, as you know him by now. Yet, such tactics did not work on him. You knew that you had his full attention when he stares at you from the front as he is giving lectures, even if you’re sitting in a last row. He’ll always linger a little longer behind you as write answers to the mini quizzes in class. You made the mistake of looking up at him once, and you nearly combusted under his hard gaze. What’s worse is that you can’t decide if he approves or disapproves of your work. Perhaps that was the most agonizing part.

Today was no different. After handing up your papers for the quiz to the front, you attempted to slip away with the crowd but you just couldn’t slip past Park Sungjin’s attention.

“Y/N, could I have a word with you?”

You halted in your steps, his monotone voice sending chills down your spine.

_Why me…_

Squeezing your eyes shut and taking in a shaky breath, you turned around to face him before walking in his direction. Your steps were a little too hesitant and you were obviously clutching onto your bag too tightly because this was the first thing that Sungjin said when you finally stood in front of him.

“You can loosen your grip on your bag strap, your knuckles are turning white.”

“O-o-oh. It’s a habit, sorry.”

“What time do your lessons end today, Y/N?”

“6pm. My last lesson is Introduction to Psychology.”

“Good. Meet me at Conference Room 2 of the Social Sciences block, 6.30pm sharp.”

“Yes. Anything else…?”

“That’s all. You may go now.”

Giving Sungjin a curt bow, you scurried out of the lecture hall as fast as you could, dreading the time when you had to see him again.

 

6.30pm came too early for your liking, and you soon found yourself face to face with Sungjin once more. A thick stack of papers were sitting by the corner of the table beside him and you knew immediately.

“I’m here to grade papers?”

“More or less; I’ll be giving the final grade and you can help me critique.”

You simply nodded before assuming the seat in front of him.

The next time you looked up, your neck popped up with a loud crack and the clock read 12am. Sungjin kept you thoroughly occupied for the past few hours, papers being presented to you in a systematic manner. You’ve said more words to him a few hours than you’ve said to all your professors combined last semester. While disguised as ‘extra exposure’ for you, deep down you knew that this was Sungjin’s special torture method – and you finally understood what others meant by getting on his bad side.

But the torture didn’t end there.

“Y/N, don’t forget that we have an assignment due the next day. Oh, and don’t be late. See you tomorrow.”

Everything sounds really innocent but you knew what Sungjin really meant was “Don’t mess up tomorrow Y/N.”

You wanted to let out a sigh of frustration but instead you swallowed it and merely replied with a spirited “Yes” before leaving the office.

 

-

And this went on for months. Every single time Sungjin gave your class a quiz, you would find yourself in the conference room with him grading papers; sometimes at the expense of your own work. It gradually extended to grading papers from his other classes, but never once did you complain. You knew better than to argue with teachers, much less Sungjin. Every time he looks at you, your words die in your throat; how on earth were you supposed to hold an argument with him? But, of course, when you were back in the comfort of your dorm, which was when you were cursing and swearing at him. At one point in time, your roommate almost called an exorcist, thoroughly freaked out by the way you were flaying your limbs in the air as you continued screaming in frustration.

Needless to say, the late nights left with less sleep, and little energy to pay attention. You were up till 4am last night (or should you say morning), rushing out assignments due today for 2 different classes. You had burst into Sungjin’s lecture hall a good 20 minutes late but in your state, you didn’t care anymore. As usual, you settled into the closest seat you could find, one hand combing through the tangles in your hair, the other rummaging through your bag for your lesson materials. But you were so thoroughly exhausted that you fell asleep 10 minutes later, you pen stopping midway across your paper.

The next time you regain consciousness was when Sungjin’s voice calling your name rang through the speakers.

“So, Ms Y/N, what do you think of the question I just raised?”

You awoke with a start and you scattered your stationary across the floor in the process. You could hear the whole hall snickering at your blunder; save for the few kids sitting around you that helped you pick up your stray pens.

 _What was the question even?_ That was the most urgent question for you to answer. You shot a hard look at Sungjin, one that said, “How dare you call me when I’m in this state because of YOU.”

You were sure that he understood your gaze, but he merely raised an eyebrow, as he always did. It was the one that you recognised as “Go on, I’m waiting for your answer.” You knew that there was no way out of this except to answer his question. Panicking, you stared at the last word you wrote in your notebook before rattling off.

“The most famous poem from the Old English period, widely recognised by most is Beowulf. And for – ”

“Oh Ms Y/N, I didn’t know that Scandinavians spoke Old English in the late 10th century. Clearly, someone needs to keep her eyes and ears open. Also, I asked for your opinion, not of those from the 10th century.”

From beneath his long locks, Sungjin gave you a mischievous glint and smirked at you as the entire hall erupted into raucous laughter. Everyone was laughing, except you. Everyone found this funny, except you. Everyone was in a good mood, but you were livid.

_How.fucking.dare.you.Park.fucking.Sungjin. I’m suffering in class now because of all your stupid “extra exposure” work after school. Yet you purposely picked on me to answer your question, knowing full well that I can’t. Why do you like picking on me so much? Why do you like embarrassing me in class so much? WHY PARK SUNGJIN!!!_

You might have felt better if you actually said it out loud, but you didn’t. You just kept repeating this thought to yourself like a mantra until the end of the lesson.

_It’s ok Y/N, just another 30mins of sitting in this hall and looking at his face. Afterwards you can leave and get yourself some ice cream to make yourself feel better. Yes, that’s right… everything is going to be ok Y/N..._

But that day, things were not ok and you left the hall in a foul mood. For the final project of the year, you were paired up with Song Jihyo, the girl in class that was notorious for not doing her work.

 _Its official, Park Sungjin hates me and wants me to burn in Hell._ That day, your whole body ached at the thought of more late nights and instead of eating your ice cream, you remembered hurling it at an innocent, nearby tree.

-

Everything that you thought would happen did happen. It’s as the saying goes, “Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.” And in this case, you were helpless against its happening. The only time that you talked to Jihyo was deciding on the thesis and after that, she was virtually uncontactable. You eventually gave up trying to arrange a time to meet to do up the thesis; you merely assigned her parts – which, to be fair, she did do. But they were of such poor quality you ended up deleting most of it and redoing it yourself. But no matter how hard you tried, nothing seemed fresh and you decided to bite the bullet and ask for help.

Lucky for you, Mr Kim was in class today and you immediately ran to him for help.

“Good morning Mr Kim. I have some questions about the final project thesis, is it alright if I ask a few questions?”

“Ah Y/N aren’t you? I’ve heard so much about you from Sungjin! I’ll be glad to help, let me take a look.”

Eagerly, you showed him what you had done so far and when he smiled, you felt a small smile creep onto your face, silently happy that you had gained his approval. But soon, the smile was wiped off your face.

“First of all, an excellent thesis choice, I must say. I remember Sungjin doing something similar for my class 3 years ago, why don’t you ask him for help? He is in a better position to help than I am.”

“Yes sir, I’ll ask Sung- I mean, Mr Park. Yes, I’ll ask Mr Park for advice. Thank you.”

With a light pat on your shoulder, he left you alone and when you turned, you found Park Sungjin standing right in front of you.

“I heard you need help?”

“Yes...” You hated it; you hated having to admit that you needed help from Park Sungjin.

“Hand it over.”

Reluctantly, you passed him your phone and turned to the side, not wanting to see his face further.

When he finally passed back the phone to you, you didn’t feel any more enlightened.

“You can do better than this.”

“What do you mean? That isn’t helpful!”

“That’s all I have to say. You know what to do, so do it.”

“I don’t! I don’t know what to do, which is why I’m asking for help!”

“Then sit down and figure it out.”

_So that’s how it’s going to be – you won’t give me a consultation when I need it the most. Fine._

But that was not what you said. You said this instead, “Ok, I’ll figure it out.”

From then onward, without help from anyone, you trudged through the group thesis yourself. This was on top of the individual thesis that each of you had to prepare for. You were literally typing so much (or rather, punching) your keyboard so hard that one of the keys fell out and you had to send your laptop for repairs. Not only was school draining your sanity, it was also draining your money. Due to the delay in repairing your laptop, you were left with a week to finish half of your thesis.

The outcome: later nights and heavier eye bags. By now, you were too tired to curse and swear at Sungjin for the terrible grouping since it was already taking insane willpower from you to even show up in class. You merely bottled up your indignation, and kept working to avoid thinking about it. After placing the stack of papers in Sungjin’s letter tray, you went back to your dorm and crashed for 12 hours straight.

This signalled the start of your 1 week break, and one week of not seeing Park Sungjin.

_Thank goodness._

_-_

The next time you saw Park Sungjin, you were glad that it was the last time that you would have to see him. After all the torture he had put you through for the past semester, you were glad that you’ll be done with him now.

Yet, as always, Park Sungjin manages to make your life a living hell till the end.

**Group Thesis: C**

**Individual Thesis: E**

**Overall: D**

**Comments for Individual Thesis: Clear presentation of key ideas and mostly factually correct. Choice of thesis could be better.**

**Signed: Park Sungjin**

C _hoice of thesis could be better. Park Sungjin failed me, just because he didn’t like my topic._

You were brought out from your shock by a large shove from behind. Whipping around, you found a smiley Jihyo in front of you and her next words made you want to punch her in her perfect little teeth.

“Thank you for helping me pass the class Y/N! How much did you get?”

Without your consent, she ripped your papers from your hands before handing them back to you with a frown.

“That’s odd; we had the same choice of individual thesis, why did you do worse?” But Jihyo had no time to contemplate on the answer to her question when she was dragged away by her friends to celebrate their good grades.

_I can tolerate everything that Park Sungjin has put me through, but not this._

Running up to Sungjin, you stopped him from leaving before asking to see him.

“Do you have time now?”

“Yes. What is this about?”

“This is about my thesis, can we talk somewhere else?”

“Conference Room 2 of the Social Sciences building in 10 minutes, I need to talk to Mr Kim first.”

“Ok.”

You were going to clear this once and for all.

-

“So, what is it about your thesis, Y/N?”

“You failed me just because you didn’t like my topic, didn’t you?”

You’ve rehearsed this part many times in your head and this wasn’t how it was supposed to sound like. It was supposed to sound polite and less accusatory, but fuck that. You wanted answers, and if you had to demand it from him, you will.

“Yes, I did. What’s the issue with it?”

“It’s not fair.”

“Nothing is fair in this world Y/N; I thought you’d know that by now.”

“Yes, I do know that. But what you’re doing is not only unfair, but also downright discriminatory.”

“How so?”

“Jihyo told me that we both had the same choice of thesis, and I got and E and she got a B. My grades are clearly a personal attack against my character. You never liked me from the start, I get it. But it’s wrong to simply disregard my entire thesis because you didn’t like the topic! What is wrong with this topic? It’s within the list of topics that you’ve given us, I met the word count, I met deadlines. I did everything!”

“And I’m supposed to give you a A for that?”

"I’m not saying you have to give me an A for it. I'm just trying to prove the fact that – "  
"A fact is already a fact, you don't have to prove it."  
"God damn it Sungjin! Would you just lay off me for a second? Would it kill for you to not correct my grammar for once? Would it kill you to not pick on me for one second?"  
"It's Mr Park, for you. It still is. And no, I won't lay off your grammar – you are an English language major that has taken my class, there is no way that I'm allowing you to continue to speak with bad grammar."  
"I hate you."  
"That can technically count as swearing at a teacher. Are you testing my patience?"  
"No. I'm just saying that it's not fair for you to give me a bad grade just because you did not like my choice of thesis. That's just being biased."  
"I'm not changing your grade."  
"I can't fail this module Sungjin! I need to pass this module to go for the Advanced English module. Yes, it's not a perfect thesis but I don't deserve to fail for this!"  
"Welcome to the real world Y/N."  
"I hate you Sungjin. I really fucking do."  
You pick up your bag and slam the door on your way out. That night, for the first time, you cried. And you hated the fact that you were crying over stupid Park Sungjin.

-

The next day, you awoke with puffy eyes but nonetheless, you showed up for lessons. You nearly bumped into Sungjin on your way to Psychology but you immediately detoured. You couldn’t get close to him – you might just punch him and be charged for assaulting a teacher.

That evening, you had just ended lessons when your phone buzzed and Sungjin’s name lit up on your screen.

**Mr Park: You have another chance to redo your thesis and not fail the class. Deadline is January 20 th, 2 weeks from now. Papers in my tray at 6pm sharp; don’t be late for the submission. **

You swiped his notification away quickly, but you remembered the words and that night, you began sourcing for more ideas for your individual thesis.

For the next 3 days, Sungjin just wouldn’t leave you alone. Your phone buzzed with his name every now and then, and he was so distracting that you nearly wanted to block his number.

**Mr Park: Are you going to resubmit your thesis?**

**Mr Park: Have you chosen a thesis yet?**

**Mr Park: What is your choice of thesis? How many words in?**

**Mr Park: Do you need help? Just drop me a message; I can help you check your thesis.**

_Help me with my thesis? Is he playing saint now? As if I’m going to accept help from him._

As you turned your attention back to your screen, you found that a shadow has fallen in front of your laptop. You found yourself staring at a pair of familiar, battered, black Converse and looking up only confirmed your suspicions. The man was here in person – Park Sungjin.

“Why aren’t you replying my messages?”

_Why must I hold myself accountable to you? Buzz off._

You continued typing, completely ignoring Sungjin. You heard him sigh before inviting himself to sit in front of you.

“Y/N, what is your thesis? Hey, answer me. I came all the way down here to find you.”

“You came here voluntarily, I didn’t ask for your help. You can leave.”

“You’re still angry at me?”

_Of course I am, you asshole. You’re just asking the obvious._

With each thought, you punched the keys on your keyboard harder.

“Stop typing so hard, you’ll spoil your keyboard. Working in spite is not going to produce quality work Y/N.”

Without your consent, he lifted your laptop into the air and onto his lap and scrolled through your entire document for 15 minutes. Passing it back to you with a smile, you stared at him in shock for 5 minutes.

_Park Sungjin never smiles; did he just smile at me?_

“You did it.”

“What did I do?”

“You figured it out. This was the choice of thesis I wanted you to choose in the very first place. Furthermore, you’ve chosen the correct area to focus on.”

“Thank you… I thought…”

“What did you think about?”

“I thought I might not be on the right track. But your words makes me feel a little more reassured now.”

“Well, I’ll leave you alone now.”

Park Sungjin then took his leave, but he was lying when he said he’ll leave you alone. He never did. Till the submission deadline, he visited you every alternate day.

As expected, you got an A for your individual thesis.

-

When you got an email from Mr Kim saying that he wanted to meet you, you thought you were doomed; most likely a disciplinary case on your head after what you said to Sungjin. But turns out, it was an interview for the Advanced English course, and they passed you immediately. When you walked out of the room still stunned that that you had entered the course of your choice, you found Sungjin waiting outside for you, almost like he knew you were going to be there.

“They passed you didn’t they?”

“Huh?”

Hearing his voice reminded you of what Mr.Kim said to you just now:

**“We’ve received high commendations of you, Ms Y/N. All the professors pushed for your recommendation into the course, and Sungjin, especially. He was the first one to mention offering you a place in the course. He spoke of your remarkable working attitude.”**

**“May I ask something?”**

**“Yes, anything at all.”**

**“What exactly did Mr Park say about me?”**

**“He mentioned that you work well even under immense stress and long hours, catching up really fast even if you fell behind. But, most importantly, he spoke of your willingness to try again after failure. That is the most important quality that we are looking out for: tenacity. We have no doubt that you’ll be a suitable candidate to enter this demanding course. We would love to offer you a place, should you choose to accept.”**

**“I would love to, thank you. Thank you to the faculty and professors for having me.”**

_Sungjin hates me, why would be recommend me for the course?_

“Follow me.”

Taking him by the wrist, you dragged Sungjin all the way to the bridge in the school park before letting him go.

“What’s with the rush, Y/N?”

Hands on your hips, you turned to face Sungjin with wide eyes, your lips set firmly in a thin line.

“I don’t understand you Sungjin. First, you torture me in lessons by making me so many extra work and now you’re putting in good words for me and recommending me for my dream course? Did you suddenly decide that you like me more now overnight?”

“Ah, so they told you everything I said. Mr Kim promised to not tell, I should have known he wouldn’t keep to it.”

“You’re still not answering my questions.”

“I’m getting there. First of all, that extra work was not torture, they were a test. I loaded you with many things to see how much you can handle before you snapped but thankfully and luckily for me, you never did.”

“I did silently curse and swear at you.”

“That is a given. But you didn’t say it out loud, so it doesn’t count. You’ve proven to – ”

“To be able to work well under immense pressure and long hours.”

“Yes. That is an important quality for taking any Advanced courses. I took the same course with the same professors that you’ll be having so I know how intense it was. I had to put you under pressure to see if my bet was correct.”

“I was your bet?”

“Yes, I was betting on you all along. You have great potential.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh? I thought someone hated me before.”

“Like you said, that was before. I don’t anymore. What you put me through was tough, but they did teach me more about myself and my limits. So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now that I’ve managed to help you get a place in your course, I think it’s time to return the favour?”

“What’s your proposal?”

“Come to my graduation ceremony next spring. It’s in April.”

“Ok. That’s all?”

“That’s all for now.”

But when a soft smile lights up Sungjin’s face, you knew there was more in store for the both of you in time to come.

-

**_April 20 th _ **

You had come early to get front row seats and as you watch Sungjin give a speech representing the graduating batch, your heart swells with pride. You’ve seen him work very hard for the past one semester and to see him being handed his graduation certificate made you feel like all his efforts paid off.

You were the last to greet Sungjin because there was simply too many people crowding around him. You watch from afar and you giggle when you see Sungjin frantically asking Kang Younghyun if he’s seen you around. He does this thing where his eyes grow big like saucers, so big that you thought they were going to pop out of their sockets. You could also hear the fear in his voice – he speaks a little faster and slips into the Busan dialect. So when you greet him by gently tapping him on the shoulder, he whips around so fast the wind nearly knocked you over. But when you see his facial expression melt from one of worry into one of happiness, you nearly melt into a puddle there and then. You’d given anything to see those sparkly eyes and sweet smile.

“Ah finally you’re here Y/N! I saw you in the front row just now but then afterwards I didn’t so I was worried that you left but I haven’t got a photo with you yet. I was so sad  because I haven’t asked you my question yet – ”

“Calm down Sungjin! I’m here now right? Also, happy graduation! I got this for you.”

Proudly, you hold up the bear plushie you had custom made for him, decked out in the exact same graduation gown that he had on right now.

“It looks like you, right? I named him Bang!”

“Why Bang?”

“Because you always say goodbye in a very cute manner and Bang seems like a cute name to capture that cuteness. Also, I gave him eyelashes! When you observe the details, he really looks like you right?”

When Sungjin finally notices the eyelashes, he bursts out laughing and you swore your heart nearly stopped. When he finally stopped laughing and took over the bear from you, he finally remembered the question he wanted to ask you.

“Y/N- ah…”

“Yes?”

“If I ask you out…will you say yes?”

Just to tease him a little, you decided to look up at the sky, and contemplate your answer for a little while.

“I don’t know…maybe?”

“You can’t do this to me! I waited so long to ask you this question!”

“Why did you wait so long then?”

“I had to wait till I graduated. It wouldn’t be right for a teacher to ask his student out right?”

“That’s true…but I still don’t know if I’d go out with you. How about we make a bet?”

“With what?”

“With a coin. You flip a coin and I’ll decide. Which side are you confident of getting?”

“Heads, I always flip a head.”

“Ok, go ahead then. Heads for I’ll go out with Park Sungjin and tails for…”

With utmost concentration, Sungjin flips the coin and slams his palm over it when it lands. Opening his palm, his face immediately becomes crestfallen: staring back at him was a tail.

But you haven’t finished your sentence yet.

“Tails for…I’ll still go out with you anyways!” you said, as you gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Really? You would?”

“Ask any more questions and I’ll reconsider.”

“Ok, ok I won’t ask any more questions! What do you want to eat?”

“Fried chicken!”

“Oh, I was betting that you’ll say fried chicken!”

“Betting on fried chicken is great Park Sungjin, but you’re my best bet till date.”

This time round, Sungjin turns to give you a peck on the cheek.

Not only was he your best bet, he was your favorite bet too.


	30. Wide Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Dowoon x You
> 
> Genre: bff, fluff, high school AU
> 
> Words: 1.6k
> 
> Description: In which you find a much better way to stay awake

There are 3 types of students during an exam period. 

  1. Those that are naturally smart and get by with minimal effort. 



These people can be found sleeping or chatting away in class, and you'll rarely find them studying in public. Instead, you can bet a billion dollars that they'll be at home, playing a perfect balancing act of juggling both their studies and social life. 

(Ok fine these people do study but you get my point - they seem to get their grades easier than the rest do.)

  1. The people that doesn't even bother to study



Much like the former, but not quite. Can also be found sleeping or chatting away in class - basically doing anything except paying attention to the lesson. Sometimes they don't even show up for lessons. Can be found in your neighbourhood PC cafe (or alternatively they'll be gaming at home) Crams everything the night before – so they may or may not do well.

  1. The type that willing gives up their body and soul for a single examination. 



The ones that takes down every word that the teachers says in class. Always shows up for lessons and always prepared for lessons. Can be found in your cafes or libraries studying from dawn till dusk. The kind of friends which you take a look at, notice how dark their eye circles are and you wonder if they've even slept the night before. 

 

Unfortunately for you, you belong to Type 3 so it was not a surprise that you were making your way to one of the cafes on your university grounds. When you entered, it was obvious that everyone had been busy camping out in these cafes littered around the university grounds, each group of friends claiming their stake at their own table, at their cafe of choice. 

 

Books covered every inch of the table, highlighters and pens of various colors strewn haphazardly around the table, forming a unique pattern. For those with a more severe sleep debt, several cups of coffee can be seen lining the edges of the table. Quoting your dear friend Nayeon that works at the cafe, it can be said that "one day we'll have a caffeine addiction epidemic."

 

Quite aptly put, you thought.

 

Settling yourself at your usual table (courtesy of your friend Nayeon), you began to take out your supplies, arming yourself with them to get through the thick stack of notes and worksheets today. It was only 8am, and you weren't planning to leave till at least 12 hours later.

 

You'd just flipped to the first page of your readings for cellular functions when Nayeon plopped down in the seat beside yours, a hot latte in hand. 

"This is for you."

"Thanks Nayeon. I'll pay you for it later."

"Don't bother. I just got my paycheck yesterday so this, I can afford. I would ask you out for dinner but you're so busy these days; I didn't want to disturb you."

Smiling sheepishly, you muttered, "Sorry...after this exam season ends you'll be the first one that I ask out!"

"Are you sure you aren't going to ask Dowoon out first?" Nayeon quirked her eyebrow at you, the corners of her lips tugging into a teasing smile.

"Pffft, him? I probably won't even get the chance to see him – he runs off faster than the wind to play Fortnite with Jae at their dorm after every major exam."

“You sure about that, honey? Pretty sure I see him waiting for you outside the exam venue these days, as subtle as he tries to be, that doesn’t escape my eye.”

“That only happened once, and gosh Nayeon, give the poor boy a break! He positively squirms when he sees you.”

“One, I just keep looking at him to see if he’s with you. Two, you got to admit – that boy is cute. And every girl needs a little eye candy, right?”

“I’m definitely telling him that you said that.”

“You wouldn’t!” Nayeon made a face of fake horror at you, her eyes growing to become twice their usual size as a hand flies to her chest. Before you could reply you, someone from downstairs hollered for her attention.

“Ok I got to go! Take care, and don’t drink so much caffeine. Also, please get some sleep, for goodness sake.”

“I’ll try.” Waving goodbye, Nayeon rushed down the stairs and you caught sight of her dip-dyed, green tresses before she disappeared from your sight. Right at that moment, something else that was green replaced her in your line of sight.

You recognise the familiar light green hoodie before you matched it to the person wearing it. Shuffling towards you, he plopped down in the seat directly opposite yours, rubbing his eye as he greeted you.

“Morning.”

“Morning. You’re early today – you usually aren’t up before the sun is half-way up in the air.”

“That’s usually the case on weekends, but when duty calls, you got to answer.”

“And what might that very important duty be?”

“That would be finishing half the Biology syllables today – because I haven’t done anything for the past 3 days.”

With a shake of your head, you fixed your eyes on your own Biology textbook before saying,

“You’re so screwed Yoon Dowoon.”

“I know – but I’ll salvage what I can.”

Despite your jab at him, you know Dowoon would do just fine for the Biology exam. It was his favorite subject and luckily for him, he belonged to Student Type 1 – which meant minimal effort, but maximum output.

For the rest of the day, both of you worked in silence, only breaking the rhythm when either of you needed help with a question. This is the reason why both of you preferred studying with one another over anyone else – both of you could remain completely focused in each other’s comfortable presence.

As the day dragged on and your brain starts to feel the first wave of exhaustion around noon, you excused yourself to get another cup of coffee. The second cup of coffee served you well for the next 5 hours, until you decided to excuse yourself again to get another cup.

“Ya, Y/N.”

“What?”

“That’s your third cup of coffee in the day, that’s too much caffeine.”

“I’ll be fine; I do this on a daily basis.”

His face morphed into one of concern and mild anger, the purse of his lips and furrow of his eyebrow that gave him away.

“What, you didn’t know that I do that?”

“No…”

“Well, ok, now you know. This is normal for me, during exam season at least.”

Before he could question you further, you ran down the flight of stairs and started to feel sweet relief when the dark liquid began working its magic again and your headache subsided.

-

As the minute hand draws closer to 9pm but the stack of unfinished work is still too much for your liking; unease and worry coursing through your system, you decided that you’ll have the burn the midnight oil again.

Which meant that you needed to enlist the help of your best friend once again – caffeine.

Before you could even stand from your seat, you heard Dowoon slam his pen down before he fixed you with a stern glare.

“You’re not getting more coffee.”

“You don’t understand, I need that stuff, if not I’m never finishing this stack of work today.”

“Then sleep. Wake up earlier to do it if you have to.”

“Then I’ll be backlogged and the same thing will happen tomorrow. There’s no point delaying this stuff.”

“Y/N, this is a sign that your body needs rest more than anything else so would you just listen to it and rest? You’ve done enough for the day.”

“I can’t, Dowoon. This is something I can’t help.”

You know what he was trying to do; reason with you using logic. But over time you’ve learned to successfully counter his logic attacks, although you know that he is always right.

But – what you’ve forgotten is that – when logic fails with Dowoon, brute force comes into play.

“Fine.”

Caught completely off guard by his fast reflexes, you could offer no resistance and _it just happened._

You saw a flash of brown hair before you felt his breath against your skin, his eyelashes seemingly magnified by a thousand fold with it right in front of you. His light squeeze on the back of your neck brought you back to reality – and that’s when you felt something soft and sweet against your lips. The sweet substance tasted like strawberry and bananas – wasn’t Dowoon just drinking a drink just like that? When he moved his lips ever so gently, you knew it was true.

Yoon Dowoon was kissing you – and yea, you were _definitely_ wide awake now.

Pulling back slightly, he whispered against your lips,

“Is that better now?”

Your body went on auto-pilot and you reacted before thinking. So you nodded your head – only to realise your mistake.

“Shit, no I meant –”

Your words got lost in your throat when he felt him kiss you again, this time bolder, and with a bit more force.

“Should I kiss you again?”

“No, wait I don’t know, maybe yes.”

This time round, he smashes his lips against yours, accidentally clashing with his braces. You fisted his green hoodie with your hands as his hands made their way to your lower back. When you finally broke apart for breath, you gulped before saying,

“Yea, this works way better than the caffeine…”

“I told you so. So if you ever need help staying awake, just call me over. Besides, you can save more money – my services are completely free of charge.”

“Cheeky, but if you insist.”

Without warning, you connected your lips once more, smiling as you felt him smile into the kiss.


	31. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Young K x You
> 
> Genre: basketball!youngk
> 
> Words: 2.7k
> 
> Description: When the familiar road back leads you to a new home

It was the same path home every day.

Get out of the station, walk past a few blocks, cross the street, walk down a few more blocks and past the basketball court, and there home awaits. You’ve been walking that path for a decade now; you could practically walk home with your eyes closed.

Along the way home, the basketball court was always the most happening spot. Regardless of the time of the day, there would always be people in there. Sometimes it was the father and son pairing where the father would try to teach the son how to play, but mostly it was filled with friends that were there after school for a round of game as a stress reliever. Every time the groupings would change – you can tell by the colour of their school uniforms – but there was always someone that was there. You first spotted him among the crowd because he was the odd one out. While everyone was decked out in proper basketball gear, he was the only one playing in his black, ripped jeans and battered pair of Converse. You would always silently laugh to yourself when you spotted him: _How does he play in that attire? And how does he stand the heat in those black jeans?_ You wanted to know the name of this comical guy, but the closest you ever got to know his name was through the clues on his shirt. His school shirt reads “B.KANG” and you always wondered what the B stood for.

Every single day, rain or shine, he’ll always be there. Whenever you passed by the court, you would always try to look out for him, and seeing him was like a constant in your life, although you never stopped to ponder more about the boy.

-

Today, things were different. You had a terrible day in school, and you were thinking about the incident that happened again, and again, and again. You couldn’t forget what she said, and your response to her words. You could feel the anger threatening to rise in you again, the blood rushing to your head. You were, of course, very distracted and hence, when the ball came flying right in front of your face, you were shocked. But your shock soon dissolved into anger that sent you into a rage.

_First, I had a bad day. And now I almost got killed by a basketball. What a fantastic day._

Rolling your eyes, you turned to yell at the irresponsible player without even looking at his face.

“YAH! Did you have to throw it so high that it went over the fence? Don’t you have eyes to see where you shoot? Can’t you play properly? You nearly seriously injured someone, did you know that!”

When you finally stopped shaking and your heaves slowed to breathes, you finally got a good look at the player – and it was none other than _him_ , the guy that is always here. Today was no different for him, just that you didn’t notice before. Whenever you saw him, he was always smiling that bright smile with a radiant glow on his face.

But all of that was gone now, replaced by wide eyes and an open mouth. He was clearly stunned by your sudden outburst, and you were embarrassed because of it.

Gripping onto the straps of your tote bag even tighter, you tore your eyes away from his face and marched off in the direction of home, all the while mentally cursing yourself and your hot temper. It didn’t take long before you heard someone’s footsteps thundering behind you, and a voice calling you.

“Wait!”

A familiar pair of Converse entered your sight as you looked down on the ground and you slowly lifted up your head to look at him. Before you could open your mouth to apologize for your sudden outburst, he beat you to it.

“You’ve had a hard day, didn’t you? Do you want to shoot some hoops? It might help you forget your anger.”

He then passed you the ball in his hand, and his brilliant smile was on again.

-

After multiple attempts and having the back of your shirt completely soaked through, you finally got a shot in and you did a little victory jump on the spot. You heard loud claps and cheers coming from behind and when you turned, you realised that the noises were coming from him. He was cheering for you with all his might, with his hands cupping the sides of his mouth to amplify his shouts.

“WOOOOO!!! Well done!”

You quickly put a finger to your lips, signalling to him to quieten his voice down. It was already 11pm, and he was going to wake up the entire neighbourhood! But despite your attempts to shush him, he kept up with his efforts and you eventually had to go over to cup his mouth with your hands.

_Why is he so annoying? Why does he have to be so loud!_

After he finally promised to keep quiet, you moved your hand and plopped down on the spot right beside him. He then leaned back too and made himself comfortable beside you.

“Are you always this…loud?”

“Yes, but it’s good to cheer people on when they’ve accomplished something, right?”

“It’s just one out of the hundreds that I did tonight; I don’t think that’s very impressive.”

“It is! Come on, just celebrate with me!”

You turned your head to smile at him before saying,

“Thank you… Idon’tknowyourname.”

“Oh right! I’m Younghyun! Kang Younghyun.” He then flashed you that bright smile again and your felt your heart swell a little inside.

“I’m Y/N. Younghyun is a nice name but what does the B on your shirt stand for?”

“Oh, B.KANG? It means Brian Kang. Brian is the name that I chose to use in Canada; I lived there for a little while before coming back.”

“I see… So, do I call you Brian or Younghyun?”

“Either is ok.”

“Young…Younghyun then. Younghyun is good.”

“Sure Y/N. Are you feeling better now?”

“I’m feeling much better, thank you.”

“So…what was bothering you just now?”

“I...did something stupid in school.”

“Really? Let’s hear it.”

After taking a deep breath, you begun to speak.

“Well, we were in class today and there’s this annoying classmate that we all really dislike. A stuck up, basically. No names so let’s call them A.”

“A for Annoying, I see what you did there Y/N.”

“Stop it! That wasn’t what I meant!”

You furrowed your eyebrows at Younghyun as he chuckled at your expression.

“I’m sorry, but please carry on.”

You then turned to face the night sky full of stars before continuing your story.

“Today was no different. I had asked a question because I didn’t understand what the book was about and once again, A had to make a comment that nobody asked for.

A said: That’s such a simple question, how can you not know the answer to your own question?

That got me completely riled up. I began to think, _Why? Is it wrong to ask when you don’t know?_ In that moment, I felt very wronged and indignant and the words came out of my mouth before I even knew I was saying it.”

“What did you say?”

“I said this: Since you’re so smart and you know the answers to everything, why are you still here? Why aren’t you in the Advanced class? Better yet, how about you answer my question for me?”

Younghyun’s eyes grew wide at what you said and he turned to you with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Tell me! What did A say?”

“Nothing… A just turned to face the front with a red face…”

“Well done Y/N, really. Well done!” He then shot you two thumbs up in the air.

“Why? Why is that good? I must look like a gangster now, trying to pick fights with someone!”

“No, you did the right thing by standing up for yourself. No one should belittle anyone, especially in a space where everyone is there to learn. You need to learn how to not let people trample over you, and today you took your first step towards that.”

“Thank you. Now what I did doesn’t seem so bad.”

“You handled it well Y/N. If it were me, I would have walked over and punched them in the face.”

“Have you actually done it before?”

That was how the both of you ended up talking for the entire night until the lights at the basketball court went out.

-

Such occurrences with Younghyun became a regular thing for you. Whenever you were feeling upset, you knew you would find him at the basketball court and he’ll just shoot hoops with you until your exhaustion made you too tired to remember your negative emotions. When you were happy, you’ll go biking and eat lots of good food together; when you’re with Kang Younghyun, food is sure to be found in abundance. When you just needed to talk someone, you knew where to find him – and your footsteps took you down the familiar way home again.

Younghyun treasured all those moments with you very much. He knew you as a reserved person, and understood that you sharing your stories meant a great deal of trust in him. But no matter how overwhelmed you were – he always appreciated the fact that you would never fail to ask him about his day and thank him for listening to you. You were one that knew that a friendship required both give and take, and he felt extremely lucky to have found a friend in someone like you.

It was the small moments that stirred up big waves of emotions in him – and he could only fervently hope that you feel the same.

_I’ll tell her when I win. I’ll tell her when I win the basketball championships._

You had promised to come and watch – and he vowed to tell you immediately after.

-

Younghyun had been training so hard for this. He sacrificed sleep and food just to have more time to train, and ignored his body signals to rest. He continued playing full games even with his swollen ankle; he needed to make sure they were in the finals.

He hid it so well from everyone, especially you. He knows how much you worry, and he wanted to give you one less thing to worry about. He would always hide his grimace behind a smile and channeled his pain into a hug for you. Just like that, with your sweet smiles and tight hugs, he took those as the encouragement to get through the finals.

And they were finally down to the last 5 minutes of the final game. His ankle was screaming for mercy and he was finding it hard to focus. He was seeing double – and that was when he knew that perhaps… he had pushed himself too far.

But both schools were tied now, and did he mention that he was stubborn? Rushing forward, he intercepted the ball passing overhead before passing it to a teammate that sealed the goal that brought them victory.

Younghyun smiled but when he wanted to cheer, no sound would come out. He could feel himself falling, but he couldn’t stop it. The last thing he heard was your voice before the darkness dragged him in.

-

When you arrived at the hospital, you saw him lying on the bed. You wanted to run to him, but the four boys held you back as the doctors ran checks on him. They reassured you with soft voices and small gestures; that there was nothing wrong with him, and that he passed out due to fatigue.

“Younghyun, is he really ok?”

He must have heard you call him, because he stirred. With a groan, his eyelids fluttered open and they immediately lit up when they found yours. The lights in his eyes were dim today, but they still twinkled with adoration for you. The doctors were called in to run the last check and their final orders were an overnight stay to monitor his condition and his leg before letting him go. The four boys then let you pass, before leaving the room with the doctors.

You wanted to smack him for scaring you like that, but you opted for scolding him instead.

“Kang Younghyun, why did you do that? You were already injured and you still pushed on till the last game? You’re…unbelievable.”

He bit his lower lip. He knew how sharp your words can be when you’re really angry, and he waited for them in bated breath.

“You’re…unbelievably strong. Really, when you want something, you’ll stop at nothing to get it. Now I know how much you _really_ want to win the championship.”

“I want to win the championships, but there’s something that I want more than winning the championships.”

You raised a single eyebrow at his statement – what could be more important than the championships for him to ruin his body like that?

“It was a promise I made to myself, a promise that if I win the championships, I’ll be able to ask you this.”

“What did you want to ask me?”

“I wanted to ask if you’ll go out with me.”

“Of course I will. I’ve – ”

“Not in that way. Go out as…a couple.”

He stared at you unblinking, waiting in anticipation for your answer. He couldn’t read the blank expression on your face.

“You’re unbelievably strong, but also unbelievably stupid. Of course I would go out with you Younghyun. I would have said yes even if you didn’t win the championships.”

Your shoulders deflated as you shook your head at the idiot lying in front of you. But, oh wait; he was _your_ idiot now.

To prove just how senseless he was, he attempted to get up from his bed while still attached to the IV drip and you had to rush over to push him down by the forehead before he caused more damage to himself.

With your finger still on his forehead and your face hovering above his, you stared him down with your wide eyes to get your point across.

“You, Mr Kang, are going to stay in bed like the doctors say until you can leave. Understood?”

“Yes Mrs Kang.”

“Mrs Kang? Yah you – ”

Taking advantage of your moment of confusion, Younghyun lifted his head up to place a soft peck on your lips before settling into his pillow with a smug smile on his face.

“So this is what it truly feels like to win.”

“I hate you Younghyun.”

“I love you Y/N!”

And he had to do that in his annoyingly cute voice, but it still made you smile.

-

**[0236]**

Younghyun lay awake in bed, turning to his side for the nth time that night. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find a spot that was comfortable enough to fall asleep in. When his eyes finally landed on your figure lying by his side, his heart ached a little. Your neck was positioned in an odd angle, and he was sure that you’ll wake up with a sore neck tomorrow. You were using your arm as a pillow, so that was sure to hurt too. The frown on your face told him that you were sleeping in a very uncomfortable position in the chair so he decided to gently rouse you.

“Y/N-ah…”

“Why? Do you need something? Are you hurting?”

“No, it doesn’t hurt but I do need something.”

“What do you need?”

“Come here.”

Younghyun then shifted to make an empty spot next to him on the hospital bed before patting the space. You must have been tired because you did not even consider the meaning or consequences of your actions. You just did as you were told and quietly climbed into the space he had made for you.

Tucking your head into the crook of his neck, he whispered,

“Is this better now?”

You didn’t even open your mouth to answer him; you merely nodded your head.

“Silly girl, why did you sleep on the chair? You must be tired, sleep well baby.”

He then pressed a soft kiss on your forehead before drifting off to sleep in an instant.

Both of you were finally home – home in each other’s arms.


	32. Warm my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jae x You
> 
> Genre: angst (if you squint) fluff, just pure fluff to fuel my day6 soft hours
> 
> Words: 2.3k
> 
> Description: When the cold winter turns unexpectedly sweeter and warmer

 

Staring out of the window of your 9th floor dormitory room with a wistful smile painted on your lips, you let your eyes wander along the white winter wonderland below you; the snow falling from the skies above completely changing the landscape before you. It formed a powdery carpet on ground, and turned the fern trees from green to white. You watched the snow fall onto the ground in a mesmerizing manner, and for a moment you got so lost in your thoughts that you almost forgot about your family.

 _Family_ – what a bittersweet word for you this year.

Usually by this time of the year, you would be at your grandparent’s home either found in the kitchen helping prepare the family dinner, or out in the front yard playing with your younger siblings. This time of the year, it was usually a time filled with warmth and laughter for you but this year… things were different.

Your family had run into some financial difficulties and between funding your university education and paying for your grandparent’s medical bills, your parents could not afford a plane ticket home for you. With air fares pushed sky high during the holiday season, it was nearly impossible for you to go back home for the new year. You tried saving for your own plane ticket home but it still wasn’t enough after paying for your dormitory fees and living expenses. Alas, you came to accept that it’ll be a quiet New Year this year for you on the campus grounds, with all your friends’ home for the holidays.

It wasn’t the first time that you had spent the New Year away from home; the last time was during your second year of high school where a school field trip over winter break saw you counting down in front of Taipei 101 surrounded by friends and teachers.

But that was then, and this was now. You willingly went on the Taiwan field trip, self-assured with the knowledge that you’ll be seeing your family within 48 hours. But this time round, the wait before you could see your loved ones seemed endless. And to make matters worse, the quietness surrounding you amplified the loneliness in your heart and you could feel your chest involuntarily tighten as tears welled up in your eyes. Burying your face in your hands as you tucked your knees closer to your chest, you let your tears fall onto your sleeves, not caring if they got stained.

Between your tears and watching the snow outside your window, you missed the first knock on your door. You brushed it off as a figment of your imagination – who would be knocking on your door on New Year’s Eve? Everyone had long gone home for the celebration and festivities, there was no one left on campus!

The second knock came seconds later, and this time, you were sure that you were _not_ imagining it. So you got up, wiped your tears and opened the door and the figure standing before you left you speechless.

Park Jaehyung – what was he doing here at this hour?

Sweet Jae was a fellow student like you in the same year. You had met him at the beginning of the academic year through a compulsory module you both had to take. A few conversations, meals and a project later, you had become friends with him. He would occasionally drop by the school library where you worked and that’s when you had your precious 5 minutes conversations with him as you checked out his books. You’ll occasionally drop one another texts just to make sure that the other party is sane and alive but showing up at your doorstep like this? It’s not something you expected Jae to do and to seeing him in flesh just cemented your shock even more.

You didn’t move until Jae waved a hand in your face.

“Y/N? You there?”

“Oh yes! Jae! What brings you here? Shouldn’t you be home…?”

“Well, I was… but I’m here now…I mean- I shouldn’t turn up unannounced but I called and you didn’t pick up so I decided to just drive here to pick you up.”

The image of your phone screen lighting up in your peripheral vision flashes through your mind and you mentally berate yourself for missing his call.

“I’m sorry, I was busy with something just now…”

“It’s alright Y/N. But may I?”

He gestured towards your apartment and for the second time that day, you mentally berated yourself for being so muddled.

“I’m so sorry Jae gosh…but please do!”

You opened the door wider and shifted your body to make space for him to enter and you closed the door before turning to face him.

“What brings you here, Jae?”

Upon hearing your question, Jae’s cheeks became dusted with pink and all of a sudden, his fingers became a more interesting subject than your face.

“Erm…actually…well, you know… it’s New Year’s Eve…and I know that you’re spending it alone this year…and Ididn’twantthat so I decided to ask my parents if I could invite you over for dinner and theysaidyessoirusheddownandhereiam.”

Jae may have rushed the last part of his sentence but only having to travel through the small space between the both of you, each word sounded crystal clear to you and your heart swelled at the thought of someone _bothering_ to remember you; especially more so when they’re supposed to be busy with family and friends.

You paused for a moment to catch your breath before calling for his attention again.

“Jae, are you really inviting me to your family dinner?”

Jae’s neck snapped when he heard your voice and the words left his mouth before he could even process them.

“Yes. Yes I am.”

“Ok then just wait out here for a little while? I’ll change into something more presentable before we go.”

“Ok Y/N.”

You gave Jae a soft smile before retreating into your room so of course, you miss the small smile that lights up his face and his soft whisper into the air that said, “You already look perfect Y/N.”

-

The 20 minutes ride was supposed to be short but it felt like an eternity to you – probably because you were nervous. But it made no sense to be nervous! You and Jae weren’t dating so it wasn’t like you were on your way to meet your future in-laws! But the bundle of nerves jumping around in your stomach weren’t going away and it must have shown on your face because you felt Jae give your hand a reassuring squeeze the moment he pulled over.

“Don’t worry about it Y/N. No one is this household is going to give you a hard time.”

“I’ll try to not worry about it.”

The moment you saw his family, you knew that your fears were unfounded and all feelings of nervousness were banished from your mind. His entire family has enveloped you in a warm hug even before you had set foot into the house before whisking you away from Jae and towards the dining table. For the rest of the evening, his family treated you like one of their own, piling up your plate high with food and engaging you in their conversation. Being the attentive guy that he was, you saw Jae checking on you from time to time and each time, your smile got a little wider and your gestures bigger; proof that you were slowly easing into the conversation and truly enjoying yourself. You were happy, so Jae felt reassured. He couldn’t voice it out loud but oh, how he wished that every family gathering for him would be _exactly_ like this.

At the end of dinner, both you and Jae had offered to do the dishes but were promptly banished from the kitchen by his mother, stating that both of you should be out on a pretty winter night like this. So with nothing to do and nowhere else to go, both of you headed outside, and stepped into the winter wonderland.

-

“Did my family scare you just now? Sorry about that, they can be enthusiastic sometimes. Wait, scratch that. I meant _overly_ enthusiastic.”

“It’s alright Jae, I loved it. It feels really nice to be able to spend the holidays with someone instead of being alone and I was greeted so warmly. My heart is full right now thanks to you so thank you very much for that!”

In your attempt to be funny, you grabbed onto Jae’s hand with both of yours before giving his a mock 90 degree bow and you could hear Jae’s chuckle from above you – but it was short lived. Jae’s laughter ceased abruptly and you could feel your hand being turned around by his larger ones.

“Why are your hands so cold…”

“Because it’s winter…? And also I have poor blood circulation so that makes matters worse.”

You let out a laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood but the crease on Jae’s forehead was not leaving. He looked genuinely worried and it was scary, because you’ve never seen Jae this serious before. The frown on his face deepened as he gnawed on his lower lip and it was only erased after he spotted the convenience store right behind you.

“Wait here, I’ll be back in 5 minutes!”

Jae then took off like a lightning bolt into the store and got swallowed up by the racks. It had only been seconds since his hands left yours, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t miss his touch and warmth already.

True to his word, Jae reappeared in front of you in 5 minutes; right down to the second – this time round with a hot pack in hand.

“Here, take this. Your hands are deathly cold and I’m really worried so please use this. It works wonders, I promise.”

“Oh! You really didn’t have to but…thank you.”

You were too shy to do anything much except to give Jae a soft smile; it was one that simply lifted up the corners of your lips but it was already enough to make Jae’s heart skip a beat.

Continuing to walk along the streets, the hot pack was indeed starting to warm up your hands but it still wasn’t enough. From the corner of his eye, Jae caught you blowing your breath into your hands. It seemed like a simple act but it took Jae a few heart-pounding moments before he mustered up your courage to do it.

“Y/N.”

“Yea?”

“Hand.”

Without another word, Jae dug out his hands from his pockets and opened his palm towards you’re your eyes widened at what he was suggesting but you immediately caught on the drift. No doubt, you were shy – your face was most likely bursting into a million colours now and your heart was beating so quickly you were afraid that Jae could hear it. You’ve never held hands with Jae before and somehow, the idea was both thrilling and terrifying. However, thoughts of his soft, warm hands from before won over and lacing your fingers with his, Jae immediately stuffed your intertwined hands into his coat pocket.

“What’s this all of a sudden?”

“I call it the Accelerated heat warming method – invented by yours truly. The additional body heat from me should warm up your hands faster.”

Jae then gave your hand a small squeeze and this time round, it was your turn to blush pink. Though Jae was not faring much better by himself; with that goofy grin spreading over his face.

-

Jae deliberately drove slowly back to your apartment just to delay the inevitable goodbye but still, both of you found yourself in front of your apartment soon.

“I’ll walk you up.”

“But my apartment is right there.”

“No, I want to. Besides, it’s late.”

It was honestly the lamest excuse in the rule book one could use but Jae was willing to play the fool just to see you more and make sure that you were safe. Unable to fight against him, you went up to your place with Jae beside you.

But even with both of you right outside your doorstep, it was evident that neither of you wanted to say goodbye. But someone had to do it – and you decided that it would be you.

“Thank you for tonight Jae, I really, really appreciated it.”

“You’re welcome. Wish we could have more time, but sadly…”

“All good things must come to an end.”

“Indeed.”

You then looked down at your feet, unsure of what to say next but at the same time, not wanting to leave him either.

_How does one prolong time?_

In such a situation, there seemed to be only one option.

“Jae, I’m still feeling a little cold. Could I get a hug?”

Silently, Jae opened his coat wide; an invitation into his arms and you semi-ran into that space before he wrapped his coat around you.

With your face pressed into the soft fabric of his turtle neck, your voice came out a little muffled but Jae could hear you nonetheless.

“What’s this new method called?”

“Let’s call it the Ultra, Accelerated heat warming method – a combination of body heat plus residual heat.”

“Sounds great to me.”

One minute passed, and then another. And another before you broke the silence.

“Ok I guess I should go…”

But Jae was unwilling to let you go, and he tightened his grip on you instead.

“Let’s just stay like that for a while more…maybe forever…”

“Well, maybe not forever…but for as long as we can.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You’re smart, you’ll figure it out Jae. But for now, good night and thank you – for the dinner and for sending me home. Get back safely!”

Standing on your tiptoes, you gave Jae a quick peck on his cheek before disappearing inside your apartment.

Jae stood outside your apartment dumbfounded, the spot where you kissed him burning and his heart warm.

You were right. Jae was smart and Jae did decipher what you said in minutes.

All he had to do now was make it official.


	33. Magic touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Dowoon x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, romance
> 
> Warning: borderline smut; please do not read if you are uncomfortable.
> 
> Words: 1.9k
> 
> Description: your touches are light but you swallow me whole

 

_He’s not even focusing on the movie._

For the nth time that night, you rolled your eyes and finally, decided to take matters into your own hands. Snatching up the remote control that lay between the both of you, the television went dead with a burst of static as you aggressively punched the button. You then turned to face Dowoon with a huff, your arms crossed in front of your chest as you watched him through narrowed eyes.

“Y/N, why did you turn off the television? We were watching it halfway…”

“Just based off your lackluster response, I can already tell that you’re not even paying attention to it right from the start. What’s wrong Dowoon?”

“Nothing is wrong…” With hesitation, his eyes traveled up the length of your body slowly before settling on your face. But the moment he made eye contact with you, he snapped his head to the front to avert his gaze from you, the tips of his ears turning red now.

He played with his nails as a way to avoid the tension in the air, but something was clearly bothering him – and seeing him so bothered made you soften.

With a soft sigh, you rose from your position and padded lightly across the carpet towards him. You stood right in front of him, hoping to get his attention. But he defied all expectations and simply kept his head down, with no intention to move at all.

_Fine._

Kneeling down, you gently placed a hand on his knees as you used the other to make him look at you. Responding to your touch, he finally lifted his eyes to meet yours as you caressed his cheek with your thumb. With a feather’s touch, he wrapped his fingers around your wrist and leaned into your touch.

“Dowoon, really, is anything wrong? Are you sick or- ”

You were abruptly cut off mid-sentence when Dowoon pressed a kiss to your wrist, and you sucked in a sharp breath at the sudden close contact. Lips never leaving the delicate skin of your wrist, he mumbled against it, the movement of his lips and the vibrations of his voice tickling you slightly.

“Nothing’s wrong – really. Just lie down with me?”

That was the shared code for cuddling and you nodded before you felt yourself being lifted off the ground and onto the sofa. Amidst the twisting and turning to find a comfortable position to cuddle in, Dowoon somehow ended up hovering on top of you. Whilst it was the first time that both of you were in such a…compromising…position, it wasn’t the close proximity that caught you your attention.

It was the  _look_  in his eyes. And the way he was looking at you.

Still, the look wasn’t entirely foreign. Admittedly, you’ve seen it on display a few times this week. It was the look that he gave you when he stared at you for prolonged periods of time – when he couldn’t even look you in the eye in the past. It was the look that he gave you when he kissed your knuckles repeatedly this week – when he couldn’t even hold your hands in public in the past without blushing.

And now, it was this exact look at he was giving you when you are pinned underneath him, extremely vulnerable and exposed.

You understood everything clearly now. Dowoon craved your touch, and he was bothered by his desire for  _intimacy_  with you; an intimacy that both of you had never threaded in before in the course of your relationship. Lo and behold, his next words confirmed your suspicions.

“I thought it would go away…”

To make him less nervous, you decided to play along.

“What was supposed to go away?”

“This…weird…feeling…”

“What weird feeling?”

In a bid to help him loosen up, you slid your hands up his biceps before locking them behind his neck as your fingers played with the short, cropped hair at the nape of his neck. Dowoon’s words get lost in his throat because your movements were very comforting, and they were lulling Dowoon into a state of bliss – even though it was also intensifying the feeling that he had been trying to desperately to shake off. Unconsciously, he pressed his body closer to yours, wanting to get closer to you. Just the slight brush of skin against skin set his senses on fire, and he clenched his fists that were resting by the side of your head in order to prevent his hands from wandering to places where they shouldn't, but wanted to. Without much thought, he voiced his thoughts.

“Y/N-ah, your actions are making things worse…It’s getting harder to restrain myself…”

But you knew he regretted what he said when you saw the tips of his ears burst into flames.

“I’m sorry Y/N, forget that I ever said that. I’m weird right?”

“No, you’re not weird. You think you’re weird because you think that you’re the only one feeling this way.”

“Huh?”

This time round, it was Dowoon’s turn to be confused by your sudden change in behavior and you had to resist the urge to kiss him senseless; those pink lips that were parted slightly now were starting to look really inviting.

You were only human – and a human with  _desires_ , at that.

You hated to admit it, but seeing Dowoon in a sleeveless shirt always does things to your heart and mind. It was hard to shake the images of his strong arms from your mind and at times, you wanted to just make out with him on the spot; although the presence of people around you always prevented you from doing so. Breaching the topic of this new level of intimacy had been something that you wanted to do – but you were never sure if Dowoon wanted it.

But knowing now that he wants it as much as you do, it gives you reassurance, and a new found confidence in testing out boundaries with him. And so, you finally have the conversation that you’ve been putting off for so long.

“Dowoon, let’s get some things out of the way first. One, it’s perfectly normal to crave intimacy in a relationship. You and I, we’re only human. Craving physical touch does not make you weird. Secondly, if it makes you feel better…know that the exact same thoughts run through my head sometimes too, ok? I just never knew how to breach the topic to you…but we’re here now and…did I also mention that I really like this haircut of yours?”

After processing your words, Dowoon finally found the heart to laugh.

“You really like this haircut?”

“I do!”

Confused Dowoon from before was now replaced by Shy Dowoon, and the poor boy buried his head in your shoulders, which gave you easy access to his neck.

And so, you grab the chance.

Leaning up slightly, you press a chaste kiss to the back of his ear. But you didn't stop there. You gave his earlobe a small nip and immediately, you felt Dowoon stiffen and his neck muscles tense.

When you finally leaned back to look him in the eye, he wore an unreadable expression on his face.

“Are you sure it’s ok to do this Y/N? We don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable.”

“No, I’m fine with this. Let’s just…test the waters and see what we’re both comfortable with, ok? We’ve been in a relationship for years now – I think we’re finally at a point where we’re both emotionally ready to take it to the next level.”

“Ok. We can try things out now.”

Craning his neck down, Dowoon placed a soft kiss on your lips before deepening it by applying more pressure. But soon, he found another softer target and before you knew what was happening, his lips had moved past your lips, and were now placing soft butterfly kisses along your jawline. You involuntarily let out a sigh; you never knew that Dowoon was that good with his lips. Honestly, had you known, you would have made out with him more often, people or not. Now that you've known what pleasure felt like, you were not going to hold back in future.

When his lips started travelling down your neck, you arched your neck to give him better access and Dowoon took it as a cue to become bolder – and the soft butterfly kisses were now replaced by wide, open mouthed kisses. When he finally started to pay attention to your collarbones, you could feel the last visages of self-restraint melting away and you found yourself slipping your hands underneath his shirt, leaving light scratches along his chest to egg him on.

But the real tipping point came when he reciprocated.

Sensing that you were now comfortable with where this was heading, Dowoon lifted up the hem of your shirt and slid his hands up the soft skin of your stomach before wrapping his warm hands around your rib cage, lightly applying pressure to heighten your senses. Much to your dismay, his lips left your collarbones and you wanted to protest but the words were promptly replaced by soft moans when his lips brushed against the skin of your stomach. He took his time working down your stomach, allowing his lips to hover above your soft skin before pressing against them. He alternated between light kisses and harsh ones, taking his time to suck and nip at your skin where it made you feel good. His hands that had left your face were now resting on your inner thigh and occasionally, he'll give them a squeeze, which elicited more melodies from you.

By now, your body were heading into overdrive and you had to stop Dowoon before you lost control.

“Ok Dowoon, my turn now.”

Flipping him over with a strength that you never knew you had, you were now straddling him and you kept him silent by paying attention to his lips. This time round, you decided not to hold back, and you tugged on his lower lip. Moving on, you decided to attack his sweet spot – the patch of skin below his ear. Instead of the soft kiss that you gave him just now, you were now sucking lightly on the skin, which earned you a low groan from him, right beside your ear.

And you had to admit it – hearing such sounds from the usually reserved Dowoon was quite a turn on.

You then made it your task to elicit such sounds from him again, and you started to work on his neck and shoulders, grazing your teeth lightly over the skin just to tease him. Pull on his hair slightly, and you could watch him slowly come undone. By now, Dowoon was singing a melody into your ear and you had no intention to stop.

But if you thought you were good at the teasing game – so was he. Even though he had let you take control now, he was still tipping you over the edge with his actions. His hands that were playing with your hair had travelled down your shoulders before settling on your lower back for a little while. But being the big tease he is, he brought them to the side of your body before tracing the outline of your body with them.

His touches were light, but they had the ability to arouse primal emotions from you. He was driving you insane, and he loved it.

But before your lips could find his again, his phone on the coffee table rang, effectively ruining the mood.

You heard him curse from under his breath, and you laughed out loud. You had never seen Dowoon so upset before; and to make things funnier, it was at a phone call! He was getting upset at a phone call!

“I’m going to ignore it Y/N.”

“I don’t think you should because apparently, ‘BraK’ is calling. Isn’t he supposed to be back from Switzerland today?”

“Ah right. I’m supposed to pick him up at the airport.”

“Yoon Dowoon, I can’t believe you forgot something so important. This session is over; you go pick him up first.”

Lifting yourself up, Dowoon reluctantly let go of his hold on your hips and visibly sighed before picking up the phone call. Annoyance evident in his voice, they conversed for a little while before he finally got up from the couch with a heave.

Stepping up to you, he lifted a hand to hold your face before moving his thumbs across your cheek.

“Do I really have to go Y/N?”

“Yes. Yes you do. You can’t leave him stranded there.”

“There’s always the other hyungs…”

“But you made a promise! So you got to keep it!”

“Ah, fine! Sorry about that, I’ll be back real quick.”

“Ok sweetheart.”

Pecking your lips quickly, he headed for the door at record speed, clearly eager to quickly get there and back. And being the tease that you are, you decided to give him a little  _incentive._

“We can continue the session once you get back.”


	34. Ghost of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jae x You
> 
> Genre: angst
> 
> Warnings: mentions of death; please do not read if you are uncomfortable.
> 
> Words: 3.5k
> 
> Description: too young, too dumb, to know things like love.
> 
> Insp: 5SOS Ghost of You. Please listen to the concert mix version before the studio version.

 

No matter how many times he relives it, Jae will never get used to this.

The sharp beep of the alarm clock disrupts the peaceful morning atmosphere and pierces through his eardrums. When the alarm keeps ringing, it starts to give Jae a throbbing headache – like the incessant beating of the pedal against a bass drum. Despite his apparent discomfort, he continues to sleep it off, confident that you will wake him up in due time once the alarm has stopped ringing.

You always do – and today will not be any different.

Jae starts the countdown that he has memorized by heart.

“5…4…3…2…1.”

The beeping stops as soon as the words leave his pouty lips, the sound fading away. The soft chirps of the birds through the window sound crisp to his ears; so Jae relishes in the feeling and sinks further into dreamland. It feels like lying on top of a cotton candy cloud; so sweet that he does not ever want to leave.

But an all too familiar voice calls out to him; yours, actually.

_Jae, it’s time to wake up._

“5 more minutes sweetheart…”

_Baby, you’re going to be late for work. You have to get up now._

“I don’t want to…”

He hears you sigh behind him, and the slight shift in the air tells him that you’re about send a retort his way.

Acting instinctively, Jae turns around one hundred and eighty degrees so that he’s now facing you, and throws an arm over to pull you close so that you’ll stop bugging him to wake up.

But his hands find nothing instead, and the harsh contact of his wrist and the bed springs sent his hand recoiling back, the sharp pang of pain jolting him awake.

His eyes fly open, and instead of finding your face staring back at him, all he sees is the empty side of your bed, the sheets pressed so neatly that not a single crease could be seen.

It’s like you weren’t home last night – and that could not have been closer to the truth.

 

_She's gone. She's gone._

Not wanting to believe that you were no longer in his life, Jae tries to convince himself that you were still here. Slowly, he lowers his hand onto your side of the bed, eyes trained on the spot where his hand usually comes into contact with your waist. He could still see your sleeping form clearly in his mind; the way you would always inhale through your nose but exhale through your mouth with a little puff of air, the way you'd unconsciously frown in your sleep and how he would always use his thumb to smooth over your wrinkles so that you'll relax. Somehow, your pajamas were always a size too small so in the middle of the night, through all that tossing and turning, your shirt would always ride up a little, exposing a small strip of skin. Jae always loved holding onto that part when you two of you cuddled. He relished in the feeling of your skin against the palm of his hand; the warmth telling him that you're present and alive.

He lets his hand hover over the bed sheets slightly, clearly hesitating. He's afraid to put it down, terrified of the realization that comes with that one, simple action of his.

Before he loses his resolve, Jae slams his hand onto the blankets – and it feels like hitting a brick wall.

Cold, hard and painful.

It was all the things that you weren't, and it further cements the reality that you're no longer there. He runs his hands over the sheets,

once,

twice,

thrice.

No matter how many times he does it, Jae cannot feel the residual warmth that you leave behind. But that wasn't the worst part; the worst is the knowledge that what he does will never bring back the warmth that you brought to the bed that both of you used to share. Even though you were no longer physically there, somewhere in his mind, Jae pictures your self hovering over him, yanking the blankets away from him and throwing open the windows to let the sun in. When you do that, he knows that his time for lazing around has officially ended, so Jae pushes himself to sit up on the bed, the act causing him to lose consciousness for a moment.

When his vision restores, among the clutter in the room, Jae somehow manages to focus on the one thing that reminds him of you.

That one chicken cup placed on top of the coffee table.

Jae smiles slightly at the memory of how you got it, the corners of his lips lifting ever so slightly as he pictures your smiling face when you presented it to him.

Both of you had decided to exchange wedding gifts, and you seemed to be very proud of your choice. _You hid it behind your back all the way, refusing to let him see it until he closed his eyes in order to surprised him._

_"Ah...wae...! Can't you just show it to me now?"_

_"No! It has to be a surprise and in order for it to BE a surprise, you have to close your eyes Jae!"_

_"I refuse to! I don't want to close my eyes!"_

_"I really don't remember agreeing to marry a baby; please don't let me question my life decisions."_

_"Wow. If you say it like that how am I supposed to win?"_

_"You don't."_

_You then flashed him your sweetest smile and Jae finally relented and closed his eyes, albeit begrudgingly._

_Inching your face closer to his, you made sure that he wasn't peeking through his lashes before slowly, bringing the cups from behind your back and placing them gently in his outstretched hands. The cool sensation of the ceramic cups against this skin caused his eyes to fly open and the moment he saw the printings, he burst out laughing, using the back of his hands to cover his mouth. He continued laughing for the next 5 minutes, completely unable to stop his laughter at all. Between hiccups of laughter and gulps of air, Jae managed to croak out a sentence._

_"So this...HAHAHA...was your...oh sweetheart help me I can't stop laughing...idea of a surprise?"_

_"Why... is it not good?"_

_One look at your crestfallen face and pouty lips was enough to make Jae stop laughing and start to take the cups seriously. It was obvious that you had gone to great lengths to have the cups custom-made; Jae was convinced that no one would ever mass produce cups of this design. Right below the Mr and Mrs print were the Chicken Little designs and you even had the original, male version of Chicken Little edited to look like what the female version of Chicken Little would. It was undeniably cute, Jae would certainly admit that but the most endearing part was the childlike excitement that you had while presenting it to him. Wanting to see the same light in your eyes, Jae knew just the thing to do to cheer you up._

_"Thank you, sweetheart. It's is the best wedding gift ever."_

_"Well, you're only going to get one in your entire life so of course it has to be the best."_

_"You're so smart...what do I do with you?"_

_You finally cracked a smile and cupping your face gently with both hands, Jae pulled you in before giving a long, sweet kiss._

-

Years have passed since that incident, but Jae still remembers it as though it happened yesterday. Turning the cup around in his hands, he finds your usual lipstick stain on the rim of the cup. It was fading with time and he knew it wouldn't be long before it would completely disappear. The color was now faint but Jae could still make it out - it was the peach colored one that he loved. Your lips always looked so irresistible in that shade and Jae always had to steal a kiss or two. Over the years, he has lost count of the number of times he's kissed those soft lips; there were the short pecks that he'll steal from you on the train, then there were also the sweet ones spent savoring your lips and last but not least, the deep ones where he took his time exploring your mouth and his hands roamed all over.

But all it took was a split second for those happy memories to be shattered and replaced with jarring images; suddenly all he could see was your pale chapped lips and...blood. Lots of it. It was flowing and flowing and Jae didn't know what to do. Placing the cup down with shaky hands, Jae repeatedly slammed his wrist into his head, hoping to beat the pain away but to no avail.  No matter how much he wanted them to stop, the images kept invading his mind and before he lost consciousness, he managed to stumble out of room, tripping and falling along the way.

Yet, the next place he entered wasn't necessarily the happiest place. Instead, it was a place that brought back terrible memories. Stepping inside the kitchen, he notices the counter chairs lying askew; it looked as if people had pushed them out hastily, and in Jae's clouded memories of that day, it was likely to have happened.

 

He pushes the chair back slowly, remembering how you always hated the house to be in a mess. His eyes accidentally wander over the broken plate in the sink and it feels like he's reliving the moment again.

_Fumbling his cuff links, Jae enters the kitchen already in a foul mood. Not the best way to start the day, especially since he's perpetually been sulky for the past few months. Business was not going well for Jae, and the smallest things irritated him. Today was no different. Sitting down in front of you at the counter, he started shoveling eggs into his mouth with neither a single greeting nor a glance at you. Life as a married couple didn't use to be this way for the both of you, but you've come to accept that perhaps, things have now changed. You were well aware that anything not related to saving his business was the last thing on his mind right now so you've decided to let him do his things and be the supportive partner. You really tried your utmost to not bother him but you had to tell him **this**. _

_"Jae."_

_"What?"_

_You were taken aback by his curt tone and you felt your determination shrivel. He clearly was not in the mood to listen, and you weren't sure if you still wanted to tell him. He could simply acknowledge the news, or he might throw a fit. Both didn't seem like the rosy scenes that you wished to face._

_"Never mind. It's fine, forget that I said anything."_

_"Don't pull this on me Y/N. You either say it or you don't. Don't tell me that you're going to say something and not say it."_

_The sudden surge of anger caused Jae to react without thinking, and he shoved the empty plate with too much force; so much that when it collided with the metal sink, it cracked into pieces. Jae saw you flinch at the sudden sound, but he didn't bother to apologize._

_"Jae, if you're going to react so badly to all that I say, what's the point of me telling you what I was planning to in the first place?"_

_Now, Jae too, was dumbfounded by your words. You hardly raise your voice at him and he recognizes this particular tone. It was the tone that you used when you were royally pissed off and Jae should know better than to argue with you. But he intends to do it anyways. His mouth opened to form a response but his phone screen lighting up stole his attention instead. Completely forgetting about the ongoing debate, Jae hurriedly answered the call and stood from his seat._

_You wanted to let him leave, but a single thought had you shooting up from your seat and latching onto him._

_No, he has to know. I have to let him know._

_Running after him that was already by the door, you held onto his wrists and whisked him around._

_"Just spare me a minute Jae. You have-"_

_"Y/N, please just stop distracting me. This is a really important deal. We can talk about this later when we're home."_

_He sees the light in your eyes die and when he feels your hand falling from his wrist, he turns to leave the house, slamming his door on the way out._

 

Then the memory ends and Jae cannot remember what happens for the rest of the day until he got the earth-shattering call. The call that changed his world forever. That was also the last time he saw you, alive and well.

_Was this way you left?_

The more he thinks about it, the more certain Jae was the he was the reason you left and the argument was the breaking point. Jae needed to take out his anger, and the nearest object became the victim of his fury. Swinging his arm back as far as he could, he hurled the broken pieces across the living room and each piece broke into a million smaller ones, littering the entire floor with shards of ceramic. He tried to scream above the cacophony that he created, hoping that the sounds would drown out the demons in his heads. But even as the screaming ceased, the demons in his head didn't. Jae needed to escape, and he knew only one thing that would work.

He needed you. He needed the refuge you provided, to hold onto to some part of you to keep him sane. Eyes wandering, they finally landed on the speaker that you loved so much. Trudging over, Jae presses the play button as soon as his hands come into contact with the cold metal buttons and the first song that plays is a familiar piano tune; the one that you and he always used to dance to.

_The song helps him recall joyous memories. Each dance session would always start the same way. You would play the song innocently, and this is how the conversation goes:_

_"This tune again, Y/N?"_

_"I just wanted to listen to it again, nothing much."_

_"Ok sweetheart."_

_Both of you then busy yourselves around the house, each trying to not seem suspicious to the other. Yet, Jae would always end up in the living room, looking out at the city below as he back faces you._

_He pretends not to know your true intention, and waits in anticipation for you to approach him instead. It doesn't take long for his prediction to come true, for he hears your footsteps behind him soon. With each step that you take closer to him, his heart races faster. He keeps listening for how close you are, so he practically has your footsteps memorized now._

_They always start out tentative, slow and unsure. When you're finally convinced that he's unaware of your intentions, they become faster and surer and it would take exactly 3 seconds from the time that started before he would feel your arms wrap around his middle, and a tender kiss pressed below his ear; right where his mole was._

_"Dance with me?"_

_He always replies with a affectionate kiss on your cheek and he takes your hand in his, and you lead him onto the carpet in the middle of the room. There, the two of you slow dance to the song. Neither of you being too much of a dancer, the dance was always filled with awkward steps on each other's feet and sweet kisses shared to make up for it. Or, simply to express your deep love for one another._

As the memories become clearer in his mind, Jae tries to remember the feeling of holding you in his arms. It was agonizing because he remembers – he’s very much aware of how it feels like to hold you; your curves fitting right into the palm of his hand. But the agony soon becomes a searing pain that slices through his heart because he knows how it exactly it feels like to hold you, but it was impossible to physically do it.

Jae thought it was inconceivable for a single person to bear so much grief in their body but when the music stopped and he hears your voice through the speakers, a new found anguish leaves him in an absolute wreck.

“Hey baby. Oh, my big baby.”

The sound of your voice cracking sends him into another spiral of emotions as it finally dawns upon him, how much you’ve been enduring silently all this while by yourself. At this point, his jaw goes slack and his face contorts, but no sound comes out from the open mouth that belongs to him. He stands there motionless as he listens to your recording, left completely at the mercy of the demons inside his head.

“I probably will not get the chance to tell you this in person and hence the recording, so just stay with me till the end, ok?

The past few months have been nothing but difficult for you, and I understand that. I tried to support you in any ways that I could but… I guess it wasn’t the kind of support that you needed. For that, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being able to find more ways to make your situation better. I’ve come to realize that maybe I was a distraction and so I’ve decided that maybe we could use some time away from one another. I’ll be living at my parents for the time being so you know where to find me if you need me. I have faith in our marriage so don’t disappoint me Park Jaehyung.”

And that was when it happened. The Accident. They said you were leaving with your suitcase in tow and the truck came barreling out of nowhere. Someone heard you scream ‘baby’; you were calling out for him when you needed him but he was too late.

Before he sinks further into the abyss, you let out a laugh here – but it wasn’t genuine. Jae knows this move; you’re just using humor to cover up the serious issue at hand. He hears the tapping of your feet in the background and he’s certain that he’s right. It was your habit when you’re nervous – and you’re clearly nervous about something now. He imagines you holding your breath at that moment, and he waits in bated breath for your next words.

It was nothing that he expected; the kind of things that makes his blood freeze and his heart stop beating. The kind that makes his world stop spinning – and wish that he was dead too.

“I’m pregnant Jae. About 2 months now. That was what I had been working up the courage to tell you about this morning but that obviously didn’t go too well. I know this news is probably unwelcomed when we’re not in the best position to raise a child but please, don’t hate the child. He or she is innocent. I love this unborn child with all my heart and I’m sure that someday you will too. It’ll take some time to accept… but we’ll figure it out. Here’s the baby’s heartbeat that I got at the scan this Monday, I thought you’d like to hear.”

Then it plays, loud and clear over the crisp speakers. The rapid beating of the baby’s heart that was extremely fast but rhythmic. His hand flies to his chest as he clutches his heart hard with a bone-crushing force. That was what he intended to do – crush it so hard that maybe it’ll stop beating so that he’ll stop feeling. It was too much, simply too much to bear.

But the excruciating pain only intensifies with the hazy memories of the past few days forming clearly in his mind now.

 _“We tried our best, I’m sorry for your losses Mr Park.”_ – the way the doctor chose to use the word loss in plural instead of singular, armed with the knowledge that you were carrying a small life inside of you.

Your frequents trips to the washroom early in the morning and the heavier eye bags – it must have been hard adjusting to the new changes that came with being pregnant yet Jae wrote it off as stress, never once asking if you were alright.

The way you held onto your belly as they wheeled you into the ER after the horrible accident – you were begging them to save the child, not you.

The way that you screamed ‘baby’ – you were crying out for Jae, and your unborn child.

It was the one thing that you tried to tell Jae even with your dying breath, but he never listened. He only listened when it was too late, and now he was left listening to your last gift to him.

“It’s not a forever goodbye Jae. I can’t live without you, not anymore. You’ll be fine – and I’ll be back when things are better, or whenever you want me to. I love you Jae, don’t ever forget that you big baby.”

_Sweetheart, you said that you cannot live without me, but how am I supposed to live without you? If you were here right now, you’d tell me that I’ll be just fine. But I never will be. I can’t live with the guilt, and without you. Where are you now? All that’s left is the ghost of you – close enough to feel but never enough to hold._


	35. Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Wonpil x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, romance
> 
> Words: 2.8k
> 
> Description: lonely hearts wander – and wander right into one another

Regret.   
It was instant regret.   
The moment you clicked the "Confirm" button, you wanted to haul yourself out of the window and delete your entire existence.   
_Holy crap. What have I signed myself up for?_  
  
Well… to answer your questions in the literal sense, you had signed yourself up as a travel partner on a website. It was a website meant specially to match solo travellers together and the concept behind it was really simple. Submit your itinerary online and they'll help you find the closest match.   
Theoretically, such an idea isn't too bad. All you have to do is offer yourself as a travel partner and let them do all the work – just remember to turn up at the right place and time when the day comes.   
But. But. But. Realistically speaking (and when you have an overly active mind that likes to overthink), things appear more complex. What if you meet a serial killer, or a pervert? What if both of you travel to some secluded area...and you never come back? Goosebumps broke out across your skin, causing you to shiver violently despite the warm heating in the apartment.   
  
Right at that moment, your cousin burst into her apartment with a flourish, a stark contrast to your dampened look. She stopped humming the tune that she was swaying along to just now, before walking over to comfort you.   
"What's with the long cucumber face?"  
"I might die within the next few days."  
Having grown up with you, your cousin was well-accustomed to your penchant for drama and exaggeration so all she did was laugh at you as she patted your stomach.   
"Oh~ the ever so dramatic Y/N makes an appearance again~"  
"I am not dramatic!"   
She cocked an eyebrow at you, causing you to kick the air, thus further solidifying her point.

“And this is the person trying to convince me that she’s not dramatic.”

“Oh, just leave me be to wallow in my misery.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I just signed myself up as a travel partner. Argh.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Yes! What if I meet some psychopath and die in this foreign land?”

“Oh come on! It’s not that bad! You do know that they work with immigration officers to vet the applicants for criminal records right? You’ll be in good hands.”

“Ok, then what if I meet some horrible travel partner that has some really gross habits, like plucking the skin on his or her feet?”

“In that case… I can only say you have terrible luck.”

She then shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, causing you to launch a pillow at her – one that she unfortunately, managed to dodge successfully.

“Geez, so violent Y/N. But really though, in all honesty, try to think positively. It could be one of the best times of your life; you might be able to meet someone that you can really click with. Besides...”

For an added effect, your cousin had flipped her hair over her shoulders before winking at you.

“That was how I met my lovely boyfriend.”

“And this is coming from someone – that called me dramatic just now.” You mimicked her previous reaction to your exasperation in a sing-song voice, causing her face to morph into one of mock hurt.

“I am offended Y/N. How could you?” She then picked up the forgotten pillow on the floor before smacking you on the butt with it. You turned around, a retort hanging by your lips but you missed the chance to fight back. Within a matter of seconds, she had left her apartment as soon as she came, phone plastered to her ear as you heard her call out to her boyfriend sweetly over the line. Once again, you were left in her empty apartment once again. You lay on her bed for a few more moments in complete silence, before the vibrations of your phone pierced through the still air, causing you to jump slightly.

The message was pretty self-explanatory, and you didn’t have to read twice before reality sunk in.

**_Dear Y/N,_ **

**_Congratulations! We have successfully found a travel partner for you. Kindly turn up at Denkyu University’s West Gate on 26 th April, Friday at 1pm. Happy travelling_**!

_Oh gosh it’s ha_ _ppening…_

You proceeded to toss your phone to your side before burying your head in a pillow, before letting out a long, muffled groan.

_May Lady Luck shine on me radiantly tomorrow._

-

**26 th April – 0800 **

“Stop chewing on your fingernails Y/N! You’re practically chewing off your entire nail.”

“Sorry I can’t help it! It’s a habit…”

“Come on sweetie. He or she can’t be so bad. You need to have faith and confidence that you’ll have fun on this trip!”

You weren’t really paying attention to your cousin’s words so when she suddenly turned around to punctuate her words whilst fixing you with a stern look, she startled you, causing your keys to her apartment to slip from your sweaty palms, clattering against the hard pavement. After recovering from your initial shock, you had bent down to retrieve the keys but someone else had beaten you to it.

You saw a head full of fluffy brown hair before sparkling doe eyes met yours as he looked up at you. It takes you a few moments (ok maybe more than _a few_ ) to register his presence because gosh – there was just so much to take in. He had sharp angular features with high, handsome cheekbones set atop his strong jaw. His pink ~~kissable~~ lips were slightly agape, two pearly whites peeking out beneath them. He’s gorgeous – there’s no denying that and you didn’t think it was possible for him to look more attractive than he already is but he did. The black shirt and maroon coat he wore over it made him look smarter and more alluring to you and it wasn’t until he was standing right in front of you before you snapped out of your stupor.

“Here, I believe this is yours.”

“Oh…thank you.”

You shyly open your palms for him to place the keys in your hands, the feather light brush of his fingers against your palm left tingles against your skin. He sent a soft smile directed your way, and off he went, leaving you staring at his retreating figure.

“Oh what do we have here~ someone’s star-struck~” Your cousin folded her arms across her chest as a smirk painted her facial features.

You quickly patted your cheeks with your fingers as you frantically questioned your cousin.

“My face isn’t red, is it? Tell me, is it red?”

“Your face is so red; you’re practically burning scarlet right now!”

She stuck out her tongue at you to tease you further before taking down the length of the street, causing you to run after her in an attempt to stop her from sprouting more nonsense.

-

**26 th April – 1300 **

_He or she should be here anytime soon…_

As the time to meet drew closer and closer, you could feel your heartbeat quicken and your breaths become shallower. Your body began to shiver, both from the anticipation and nervousness. _What kind of person would I meet? Would they be nice?_ Such thoughts raced through your head rapidly, it almost felt like the Japanese bullet train was running through your mind. Occupied with your thoughts, you could barely feel the soft tap of a finger against your shoulder through your thick coat. You didn’t respond so another tap, with a greeting this time.

“Hello, are you my- ”

You turned around so quickly that you gave yourself whiplash, and you frightened the poor boy so much that he leaned back in shock. When you finally saw him, the immediate reaction was relief – because a familiar face was staring back at you. But the next emotion the followed was fear – because you were going to make a fool of yourself for the next five days in front of this handsome man. Your sense had already went into full shut down with your short interaction just now, how were you going to spend the next five days in his presence without a full mental meltdown?

You wanted to greet him brightly but his sweet smile made you weak in your knees, and you felt your voice die in your throat.

“Oh! It’s you! The girl earlier on in the morning! It’s fate that we’re meeting again like this right?”

_Fate…? Good Lord, someone hold me now!!!_

“Yes…” A huge grin threatened to break out on your face but you clamped down on your bottom lip hard – you were NOT going to appear like a creep on your first proper meeting with him. The boy didn’t even give you time to gather your thoughts before he surprised you again with his sudden burst of energy.

“Now it’s time for proper introductions! Hello, my name is Kim Wonpil but you can call me Pil or PiriPiri too! What’s your name?” He then displayed his bright smile, the one that showed off his neat rows of teeth and made his eyes disappear behind a beautiful crescent.

“Hello…”

You paused for a long while trying to decide which of the 3 names to address him by but the answer was obvious – it had to be the cutest one for such an adorable person like himself.

“Hello PiriPiri! My name is Y/N, and yes, I am your travel partner. Sorry if I scared you just now, I didn’t mean to!”

“Aigoo~ it’s ok! Let’s go now! Where to?”

“Shall we go see the cherry blossoms? It’s a really lovely afternoon today.”

“Let’s head to Ueno Park! I’ve been there last year and they have really great spots for you to see the cherry blossoms!”

He kept pace with you throughout your short walk to the park and even during your visit to the park, he always made sure to give you ample time to capture the cherry blossoms with your lenses. Both of you kept wandering along the flower path until you reached the fringe of the park. Taking a seat on the wooden bench together, you heard him inhale a breath before muttering something to himself. You couldn’t hear him very well over the rustle of the cherry blossoms, but did he just say that he was glad that his travel partner was you?

Maybe that was just a figment of your imagination but one thing was for sure – this truly was the start of one of the best moments of your life.

-

Over the next 5 days, Wonpil always managed to put a smile on your face. His childlike wonder as he viewed the trinkets sold by the street vendors leading up to the Asakusa Temple always amazed you – and greatly appreciated by you. Not many can comfortably express their emotions with someone they just met but with Wonpil, there were no reservations involved. He would always be ready to show you his range of emotions and facial expressions, from elation to his pouty face – mostly after accidentally scalding his tongue on the hot soy sauce drenched over his favourite mochi-on-a-stick snack. No matter how many times you’ve seen it over the course of the five days; you will always stop to look at him express his extensive array of emotions – all that is so scarce in other men due to the image of masculinity that they are expected to display.

Not only did he make you happy, he also made you spontaneous. Your younger self would never have dreamt of doing such a dangerous thing – but here you were right in the middle of the major Shibuya crossing, posing for a photo as everyone brushed past you in a flurry of activity. Yet, you focused on Wonpil and his camera – both of which were now reduced to tiny dots in the distance from his position at the Starbucks which gave him a fantastic view of the Shibuya crossing.

And you.

As the green lights began to blink and the countdown timer started, you gestured wildly for Wonpil to hurry up with his shot and when he finally gave you the thumbs up sign (though you could barely see it) you dashed back towards the Starbucks as the first car missed you by a hairline.

As you bent forward to catch your breath, you could make out his figure running down the flight of stairs and past the huge glass doors to you.

“How was it Y/N? Thrilling, wasn’t it?”

“Yea! It was! But WOAH the car was so close!”

“But you’re ok Y/N, don’t worry!”

“Yea I’m ok…woah this really feel exciting, liberating actually. Do you want a photo too?”

Wonpil got so excited at your offer that he did a little jump on the spot and you took the camera from his hands before racing up to the 2nd floor of the same Starbucks. From your vantage point, you could see him pause in the middle of the sea of people and you quickly snapped a few shots, although you did fumble a little when you saw the countdown start. You watched as he ran back the same way you did, with what you imagined to be the same look of fear on your face just now. Your heart clenched at the memory, the feeling of the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins once more.

When you met him at the first floor again, he let out the biggest exclamation, scaring a few passer-by’s in close proximity and earning a few sharp looks from them as well.

“WOAH! THAT WAS EXTREMELY EXHILARTING! Y/N LET’S DO IT AGAIN!”

You quickly put a finger to his lips, managing to quieten him down instantly.

“I don’t think we should do this again… we’re going to get pelted with stones by the public at this rate – we’re too noisy!”

“Oh…” Then it was on again – his cute little pout.

“Awww what a cute baby~” You pinched his cheeks good-naturally, causing his cheek to lift up into a smile.

When you finally let go his face, he looked around before zeroing on the tall, red and white building in the far distance.

Clapping his hands together, his face lighted up with the glint that you have grown to love over the past few days, his spontaneity infecting you again.

“Y/N, let’s go to Tokyo Tower!”

You nodded enthusiastically in response and he took your hands in his as he led the way to your destination. It just seemed so natural to him, even though you were blushing madly behind him.

-

“Wah…the view is so beautiful…”

The moment the lift opened to let you off at the observatory, you were immediately drawn to the city lights down below, like butterflies were to flowers. There was an invisible line tugging you towards the city lights and Wonpil lets go of your hand, allowing you to make a beeline for the huge glass panels that granted you the view of the shimmering lights down below. He stands behind you at the distance, silently admiring the way your face brightens as you soak in the magnificent sight down below.

He doesn’t even notice but the corners of his lips tug upwards to form a soft smile as a warm fuzzy feeling buzzes through his body

Slowly walking forward, he comes to stand beside you. The city lights below were gorgeous, but nothing could compare to the beauty standing right beside him – you. Leaning against the glass, his fringe falls softly in front of his eyes as he crosses his arms to look at you. With dreamy eyes, he says it in a breathy whisper.

“Beautiful.”

“Huh? Oh you mean the city below? Yea it’s really pretty, isn’t it?”

“No, I’m not talking about the city below. You’re beautiful Y/N – you truly are.”

You turn to look at him, searching for that glint of playfulness in them.

“Yah Kim Wonpil, you better not be joking…”

Seeing that you don’t believe him, Wonpil drops his head and lets out a small laugh before taking your hands in his.

“I’m serious. You’re really beautiful Y/N.  It was a really happy five days spent with you and… I hope to be this happy for a long time.”

“Are you…confessing to me now?”

“If I say yes, would that scare you away?”

On cue, you become a huge blushing mess, trying to look anywhere but his eyes staring so earnestly at you, or his hands that are holding yours tightly.

“No… I’m j-j-just not sure what to do with your confession.”

“It’s ok; you don’t have to do anything. You just have to accept it and let me shower you with love on cute dates.”

He had his adorable grin on his face but his eyes were serious. And so, you decided to take a leap of faith.

 “Ok, so when are you taking me to for our first official date?”

“We can start now...where do you want to go?”

“As long as I’m with you, anywhere is fine.”


	36. teacher!day6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Day6
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life
> 
> Words: 2.5k
> 
> Description: how Day6 would be like as teachers!

For context;   
Kindergarten: Ages 3 to 6  
Primary school: Ages 7 to 12  
Secondary school: Ages 13 to 17  
Tertiary education: Ages 17 to 19  
University: 19 onwards   
\---  
SUNGJIN

  * ..seeing leader as a teacher for a particular age group is hard
  * Because I feel like he'll be good with all ages
  * I can see him being the father-like teacher that admonishes the young ones cutely
  * But at the same time I can also see him being stern with the older ones
  * .............................................
  * Just for leader............................
  * I'm not going to specify which age group he's teaching HAHA
  * Sungjin as a teacher would just generally be the "father" teacher
  * He’ll scold the kids when he has to
  * Even though he really does not like doing so
  * Might accidentally make the young ones cry with his stern look
  * but when that happens he immediately softens and pats their hair / offers them a warm hug to soothe them
  * The little ones will always rummage around his bag for snacks just because his bag is practically BURSTING with them
  * But removes them from his bag fairly quickly – Sungjin as a teacher is still fiercely protective of his food HAHA (imagine a mother bear picking up her cub by it’s nape – that’s what it looks like when Sungjin removes the kids from his bag)
  * But ok jokes aside
  * Sungjin as a teacher is really caring
  * He might express his emotions very well
  * But he does care very deeply for his kids
  * Sends them away on their last day of kindergarten with a smile on his face
  * But sobs buckets later at home when he reads the cards they give him with their cute handwriting and drawings
  * Sobs more when he sees them draw him as a bear
  * Because he cannot decide if it’s cute or tragic that they see him as a bear after all the years of teaching them
  * Sungjin with the older ones which generally be more stern
  * Less smiles
  * Because he’s got an image to keep
  * The most the kids will see from him is his odd facial expressions when his slides / mic messes up when he lectures
  * Most are too intimidated to approach him
  * But for the brave few that do
  * They are pleasantly surprised
  * Because it turns out
  * That prof Sungjin is actually a pretty approachable guy with a wealth of knowledge to share with his students
  * And eventually this evolves into that sort of relationship where the kids begin to see him as a friend outside of lessons
  * Which leads to the most ridiculous encounters EVER
  * For example
  * ‘hey prof’
  * ‘I can’t believe you called me to fix your heater’
  * ‘it’s winter! And the student services centre wasn’t responding’
  * ‘the things I do for you guys’
  * ‘thanks prof!’
  * Grumbles about coming out on a winter day during term break
  * But still fixes the heating for his kids nonetheless
  * But don’t worry
  * They repay his efforts by treating him to food when school starts again ;)
  * Overall
  * Sungjin as a teacher is generally one that does not show affection openly for his kids much
  * But deep down
  * They all know that he truly cares for them
  * Both academically and non-academically



JAE

  * Tertiary educator
  * Jae would be that really chill prof that the kids love alot
  * He’s not going to bother them too much even if they enter lectures a little late – he understands the tertiary education is tough and well, waking up late once in a while is not a sin
  * Probably not the type to bother them too much even if they doze off in his lectures – as long as they catch up on their own
  * He accepts it if they have a tardy appearance or are disorganised – he was like that as a student as well
  * But he will not accept tardiness in the work
  * Will get an earful from him if they slack off / hand in work late without a valid reason
  * If a student is constantly missing school
  * He’s going to check up on them constantly
  * And follow up with them regularly to make sure they get the help they need and are coping well from there on
  * Even though he’s a strict teacher
  * He always reminds his students that their mental health is more important than their studies
  * Which is why his students feel comfortable going to him for advice when they’re troubled with anything
  * And when I say anything
  * I really mean anything
  * From anxieties about their studies
  * To relationship problems
  * Jae listens to them all
  * And adjusts his response accordingly
  * If he has to be firm to snap his students out of their own self-deprecating mindset
  * He will
  * But for those that can’t handle his toughness
  * He will opt for being gentler with them
  * But no matter what
  * He will stick with his kids till the end and see them become a better version of themselves
  * Jae takes mental health very very very seriously
  * And his students appreciate him very much for that
  * Because he feels like one of the very few teachers that care about them
  * For who they are
  * Beyond their grades
  * But serious stuff aside
  * Jae is a fun teacher
  * Always bringing props to class to demonstrate a concept
  * Working in videos into his lectures to make sure the lecture is less boring
  * Probably the type of prof to bring in a soft toy and tosses the soft toy to a student when he wants them to answer a question
  * Tries to work in field trips when he can
  * But he’s not just all fun and games
  * He’s definitely very willing to stay back after lessons to help students work out the knots in their head
  * The only time students get scared of Jae:
  * When he debates too fiercely with them on model UN
  * Sorry
  * It’s in his blood
  * He loves arguing for a living
  * He will argue at every chance he gets
  * Even against his students
  * But other than that
  * He’s a very chill teacher
  * To sum it up
  * Teacher Jae is very much like Teacher Sungjin
  * Not much emotions in class
  * But outside of class
  * He will do anything for his students
  * He will stick by them
  * Until they become better and believe in themselves



  


 

YOUNG K

  * Secondary school teacher
  * Honestly Brian as a teacher is the easiest to write for so here goes!
  * Young K as a teacher would be so well-loved by eveyeone
  * but not because he's overly lenient / overly nice to them
  * He's well-loved for the right reasons
  * As a teacher he's the right mix of tough and soft
  * At this awkward of age learning to be a teenager, most kids will have a hard time adjusting to new bodily and emotional changes and I feel like Brian as a teacher would be really helpful with easing students into being an teenager
  * For this bunch of awkward teenagers still trying to find their identity, his honest advice would be really helpful in getting them to understand themselves and the world that they're still trying to figure.
  * He'll also be really attentive to those that get left out, always remembering to include them in class discussions by for example, calling them to answer questions. Similar to how he'll always laugh at Wonpil's jokes even when others are not paying attention.
  * He'll also be really good for this age group because he's very aware of the feelings of his students, which helps at this stage when some of them might still be sensitive.
  * When a student makes a joke that might potentially hurt another, he knows how to rein in the former without hurting them as well, thus saving both groups of students from potentially being hurt emotionally.
  * he also has enough child-like wonder in him to keep up with the enthusiasm of some boisterous students
  * As teenagers, they'll still get easily excited about things and Brian would help to fuel that excitement / passion by participating in their activities.
  * For example, if they ask him to act silly with them for class performances, Brian would surely join in and be willing to be as silly as he can possibly be with them. (Cue Old K outfit from Youth Encore concert)
  * Overall, Brian's personality is so versatile which is perfectly suited for the wide range of personalities he'll meet in teenagers
  * It really helps him connect with all of them
  * And this emotional connection in their formative years will make him a very memorable and well-loved teacher for years to come  
  
WONPIL
  * Definitely a kindergarten teacher
  * There is no doubt on this
  * Nope
  * No one can change my mind on this
  * Not one bit
  * Wonpil just has so much child-like energy in him he is the PERFECT fit for being a kindergarten teacher
  * When the kids show him something they made / drew, he'll have the ability to match their level of excitement and make the children feel so loved and validated for their efforts
  * Which i feel is extremely important since kids began forming impressions at this stage and Being ignored might lead them to gradually close off / lose their passion for their interests
  * Wonpil will be that beacon that keeps the flame of passion burning bright in their little bodies
  * Always asking them what each item they drew is
  * Why they chose to write this poem on this particular subject
  * But this also means he’s prone to burn out at the end of the day because he does his best to give his utmost attention to each child
  * But no worries
  * Come a new day
  * When they greet him with a enthusiastic greeting early in the morning after their parents drop them off
  * Gone is his fatigue and all that’s left is a warm fuzzy feeling in him and a wide smile on his face
  * Might occasionally lose a kid when out on field trips because there’s just so many of them and only one him
  * But no worries
  * Turns out the kids are just playing hide and seek with him and they eventually come out of hiding
  * Finally feels like he can breathe again when he sees them
  * Carries the little rascal in his arms for the rest of the field trip
  * Until everyone else clamours to be carried by Teacher Wonpil
  * That’s when all hell breaks loose
  * But thankfully
  * He’s got a good team of teachers to help him rein in the little ones
  * Also the type to stay back in the centre till late at night until the parent of the last child comes by to pick their child after working overtime
  * Never complains though
  * Just sends a smile their way and reminds them to rest early before cleaning and locking up
  * Also the type to look out for any kids that might have trouble interacting with the rest of them
  * Coaxs them out from their corner using every method possible
  * Magic, acting silly – you name it, he’s done it
  * Really gives his whole soul and body into making sure every kid under him feels loved and included
  * When they cry
  * He holds them close and pats their back until they’ve stopped crying / they’ve fallen asleep
  * During naptime
  * Tucks each child in so carefully that other teachers try so hard not to shed a tear watching how much care and love he gives each kid
  * Cries every Teacher’s Day when his kids shower him with so much love and presents
  * By the end of the day
  * His eyes are puffy and red from all the crying done
  * Meanwhile his hands are full with all the presents he’s gotten over the course of the day he struggles to even wave to say goodbye to his kids
  * All in all
  * Kids love him
  * Parents adore him to bits
  * The other teachers consider him the real gem on the team
  * Wins ‘Best Teacher’ award every year
  * But the other teachers aren’t even jealous
  * Because they all know he truly deserves it



DOWOON

  * Drum teacher
  * Sorry but I can’t see this cute fluffball as an educator in a formal setting
  * As a drum teacher
  * Dowoon is chill
  * Like super chill
  * Has a lesson plan
  * But does not follow it strictly
  * He teaches his kids the basics
  * But lets them free later
  * They can play whatever song they want
  * But the moment they start singing along and lyrics contain profanities
  * His eyes get wide
  * His ears get all red
  * And he immediately turns down the music before telling them that they can’t sing that song
  * Sweats bullets for the rest of the lesson
  * With the young ones
  * He’s very patient
  * Teaches them step by step until they get it right
  * If they need more help
  * He’s willing to give them extra lessons
  * At no extra charge
  * As long as the student truly wants to learn
  * He will put in the same effort to help them excel
  * For those that are slightly better
  * He challenges them with tougher pieces
  * The tempo is faster
  * There is more variation in the beats
  * By the end
  * This kid is probably sweating buckets and completely tired
  * But when Dowoon extends the bottle of water to them before shooting them a thumbs up
  * They are ready for round 2
  * Very accepting of students of all abilities
  * He makes it a point to include every single student at the annual drum concert
  * And when I say every single one
  * I really mean every single one
  * No one gets left behind under Teacher Dowoon
  * He might seem forgetful
  * But Teacher Dowoon actually has a great memory
  * He prepares small gifts and cards for each student during their birthday
  * Often times it is an encouraging message appreciating the student for their efforts
  * Which motivates his kids to continue to work harder
  * Even years after they’ve graduated from his dance academy
  * They still thank him in their award winning speeches
  * And sends their kids to be taught by him
  * Just like how Dowoon is loved by the entire universe
  * His students love Teacher Dowoon in the same way
  * And he truly asks for nothing more
  * Then for his students to be happy doing what they love and to grow up being a good person




	37. I'm Serious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Wonpil x You
> 
> Genre: 95% angst, 5% fluff
> 
> Words: 5.1k
> 
> Description: I’m serious. My eyes say that I like you. Why don’t you feel it?

 

**[Final year of high school]**

You remember where it first started. Under that big willow tree by the corner of the school field.

"Done!"

"Yay! Thank you!"

I turn around to face a grinning Wonpil as he passed the marker back to me.

"Now that you've signed my uniform... what else is there for you to do? Oh yes! The book!"

He raises his eyebrows at you as you rummage through your bag, presenting to him a notebook and pen.

"Write a small message in the book for me? I want to remember everyone that has been with me on this high school journey."

"Sure."

"First page, left the biggest space for you."

Wonpil bursts out laughing at the sight of his big face plastered on the first page. But soon he calms down, thinking long and hard about what to write in your book, chewing on the ends of your pen as he thinks.

There's so much he wants to say...but he's afraid he'll scare you away. How to be subtle yet clear about it?

He blushes furiously as he pens down the words sincerely, biting onto his lower lip the entire way to prevent himself from grinning widely.

"Done! You can read it now."

"Now?"

"Yea." A nod and a grin.

The notebook returns to your hands and you find the page easily, reading through it slowly.

In his classic long-winded style, Wonpil starts with how he first met you in middle school, then goes on to basically narrate your entire friendship through middle school and high school. Yet the essence of the message is in the last line.

_Let's hang out more over summer break? Namsan Tower? We can take a stroll along the bridge with love locks!_

He looks at you expectantly, awaiting your favorable reply yet your reaction is not one that he expects.

"Yea we can go Namsan! See the pretty summer foliage but love locks? Ayyy why would we go there? We're not a couple!"

You punch him in the shoulder zestfully, hoping to lighten up the heavy mood that threatens to suffocate the both of you.

"Ayyy you're right, what was I thinking? Love locks? Pffft it's kind of overrated. Let's not go there. When do you want to go to Namsan?"

"Next week? But then again I've got plans elsewhere too..."

You rattle on and on about your schedule and plans for the summer holidays, but at this point, Wonpil was listening only halfheartedly.

_So... I guess you're going to just laugh it over huh?_

\---

**[Present day; sophomore year in college]**

"Yah Y/N!"

You jump at the sudden loud voice, wondering why on Earth Kim Wonpil was still in school at this ungodly timing.

You hear footsteps thundering towards you as you turn, finding a mop of long brown hair right in front of you soon after.

"Why are you still here?"

"Waiting for you."

"Why? We didn't arrange to meet for dinner today right?"

"We didn't. I wanted to wait for you so we could go home together."

"You didn't have to-"

"Y/N!"

Another voice interrupts your conversation with Wonpil, and you both turn to look at the new participant.

"Hi Jinyoung, not heading home yet?"

"No, I wanted to say bye to you before leaving."

"Oh...you didn't have to! I was still inside talking to Prof Oh about the project, you must have waited for a long time."

"For you, it's ok. Get home safely Y/N! Your friend?"

"Oh, him? Yes, since middle school. Wonpil, meet Jinyoung! We take classes on digital design together."

"Nice to meet you Wonpil. Jinyoung."

"Nice to meet you too Jinyoung."

_Something is off._

There was nothing wrong with Wonpil's greeting but you know he's not acting like himself. Wonpil would always greet people with a smile, not like this with a stoic facial expression.

_Does he not like Jinyoung?_

Jinyoung shifts his eyes nervously between you and Wonpil, sensing the tension in the air too. Eager to leave, Jinyoung breaks the silence first.

"I'll make a move then. Get home safely Y/N!"

Jinyoung ruffles your hair as a parting gesture but from the corner of your eye, you can see Wonpil shooting daggers towards the both of you. More specifically, at Jinyoung and the hand that lay atop of your head. His smoldering gaze follows Jinyoung even as he moves further away from you, turning to wave goodbye to you.

"Wonpil ah, did you have to stare so intensely at Jinyoung? You scared him."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. I was just making sure he wouldn't try anything funny with you, some guys out there are scary."

"Not Jinyoung, he's fine."

"You two are close?"

"Quite? We're design assistants under Prof Oh now so I see him often."

"Is he nice to you?"

"Well. Yea. He's sweet, he buys me dinner sometimes when I'm busy and I forget. He stays back to help me when I hit a creative block. Small things like these that touch the heart. He's actually a pretty good guy."

"Woah really? Wow my little friend Y/N is all grown up now!"

"Oh would you stop teasing me? I just said I might, not I would."

"Just asking for fun. If you had to choose someone to date, who would you choose? Jinyoung or me?"

"How can I possibly choose? Both of you are equally good guys."

"Come on, that's not an answer!"

"It is! Besides, it's not a serious question. You just asked for fun right?"

_I'm trying to start a conversation to figure out how you feel, masking it as a joke so you wouldn't know. Yet it seems like I'll never get an answer from you._

"Ah forget that I ever asked. I don't have to know the answer anyways."

He sticks out his tongue to make a face at you, and you do the same to spite him. The bus ride is silent as you fall asleep on his shoulder, Wonpil barely moving an inch to make sure you won't wake up.

Back home, he flops down on his bed with a heavy heart, puffing up his cheeks in annoyance as his mind replays your answers to his questions.

 

_Why can't she just give me a straight answer? Is she really going to continue to be ambiguous?_

 

His phone buzzes with a special tone, and he flips it over immediately, knowing it was a message from you.

 

**Thank you for sending me home today. I’ll get you some patches for your shoulder tomorrow, sorry about that ^^’’’**

 

_It’s ok, I got them at home. Rest well princess_

 

His thumb hovers over the heart emoji, wondering if he should include it in the text.

_If I do this, it’ll be very obvious right? She’s so oblivious, I got to make it obvious._

 

_It’s ok, I got them at home. Rest well princess <3_

 

He added in the heart emoji for good measure, placing the phone screen down on his chest as he waits for your reply. He envisions a getting a cute text back, and he has to use the back of his hand to cover his mouth, lest his giggling noises arouses suspicion from his family. He didn’t have to wait long for your text back, but his smile immediately fades when he sees your reply.

 

**Princess? BLEH :P Rest well too Piri! See you tomorrow.**

 

No hearts, no emojis, no nothing. Just plain text. With nothing else left to reply, he locks the phone screen and tosses it to the side of his bed.

_Wah I’m really going crazy here. How do I get her to realize my feelings? I’ve left so many hints! What else more should I do?_

With no answer to his questions, Wonpil is left staring at the ceiling again as he runs his hands through his hair and face in frustration, just like every other night.

\---

“Yah Kim Wonpil. You need to look away. If you don’t, either your eyes will pop out of their sockets first, or both of them will go up in smoldering flames.”

“What?”

Wonpil hears Sungjin’s voice, but does not register what the older says. Rolling his eyes, Sungjin shifts left to sit right in front of Wonpil, effectively blocking his view of both you and Jinyoung.

“Hyung!”

“Why do you keep looking? Just leave them be. Staring at her isn’t going to magically make her fall in love with you. So you either go out there and do something, or else you give her up.”

Sungjin then takes a look at his beeping watch, uttering out farewell to Wonpil with his mouth full of sandwich before hurrying off to Physics Lecture.

_Perhaps Sungjin has a point, maybe I should give her up?_

 

The thought eats away at Wonpil for the rest of the day, earning him a earful from his lecturer when he was caught not paying attention. And later on in the day, another earful from Sungjin during band practice when he messes up the keys for the song transition. Even as he lies on his bed at 1am attempting to fall asleep, he finds his mind wandering back to you. Memories of you that start way back in middle school surfaces in his mind, each giving him more and more reason to like you.

Your hardworking self; never missing class clean-up duty even if that means you have to rush back from consultations with teachers.

Your kind self; volunteering your free time at animal shelters, orphanages and elderly care centers. Sometimes you even go the extra mile for them, travelling to far flung places when they are short on manpower.

Your brave self; standing up against friends and elders who do not realize that their actions are wrong.

Yet, Wonpil is also well aware that you’re not perfect.

You can be quick to anger; blowing up at people just because you were cranky that morning.

You can be blunt sometimes; not really thinking about the weight of your words before saying them.

You can be unreceptive to feedback; you might pull a black face the whole day, just because someone said something you didn’t quite agree with.

Despite your flaws, Wonpil sees redeeming qualities. Over the years, you’ve acknowledged your flaws and you’ve been slowly improving on them. Small things like apologising at the end of the day after yelling at someone, makes you more endearing to him.

_I like her because, and I love her despite. How could I possibly give up on someone like that?_

 

Yet Wonpil only sets himself up for heartbreak - for not being to let you go.

\---

At the end of each day, Wonpil goes home to nurse a bruised heart. All day long, he has to watch you and Jinyoung get all chummy with one another. The smiles shared between one another, the hand holding and all that sort of stuff he doesn't even want to think about.

But the worst part comes when he's with you, and yet he doesn't have your attention.

Barely able to hide the annoyance in his voice, he asks,

“Who are you texting?”

“Jinyoung.”

_Him again. Why won’t you just pay attention to me for once?_

Wonpil’s jaw tighten and his fists clench, his lips now set in a straight line as he watches you with sad eyes.

You spare him a quick glance from the corner of your eye, noticing the change in his mood but yet you still want to reply Jinyoung, so you try your best to bid for some time.

“Sorry, let me just reply to this one text real quick…”

You type out a speedy reply, promising to text Jinyoung again tonight before you turn your attention back to Wonpil.

“Sorry Piri! What were you saying?”

“What time do you end tomorrow in school?”

“You’re planning to wait again? I’m going to be late though, got a project meeting with Prof Oh till 9 and then I’m seeing Jinyoung for a short while after.”

“Jinyoung? What for?”

“I have no idea but it probably won’t take long.”

“I’ll wait for you then.”

“Really Pil, you don’t have to.”

“But I want to! Will you just not argue with me and agree to it?”

“Alright! Geez what is up with you?”

You land a light punch on his stomach, and Wonpil finally laughs again at your cute antics.

_It’s so easy for you to make me happy but when will it finally be my turn to make you happy?_

\---

**[2100, outside Prof Oh’s office]**

Jinyoung and you bade the professor goodbye as she locks up her office, and Jinyoung waits till she’s out of earshot before turning to you.

“Y/N.”

“Yea? Oh right, you said you wanted to tell me something.”

“To be exact, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Go straight ahead.”

“Hand?”

“Hand? Why’d you need my hand?”

Despite your doubts, you trust Jinyoung so you give your hand as you he asks, looking away for a moment to see if Wonpil has arrived. You snap your head back when you feel cool metal against your skin, the sound of small charms tingling in the air.

“Oh what-”

“It’s a gift, and I was hoping you’ll wear it to the year end dinner and dance.”

“Ah so this is what it is all about… Park Jinyoung I didn’t know you were that sneaky. Luring me in.”

“Well, I can’t show all my skills at one go right? So is this a yes?”

“Yea I would love to.”

You watch as Jinyoung smiles from ear to ear, before he leans forward to place a kiss on your cheek.

Yet, instead of feeling all warm and fuzzy after the kiss, you are left wide-eyed with shock, your system not welcoming the sudden kiss at all. Your first instinct is to remove yourself from the scene, and the first person you thought of was Wonpil. You wanted him close to make you feel safe, yet he was nowhere in sight.

 

_Wonpil...where are you…you’re supposed to be here..._

 

Unbeknownst to you, he was there, just not in your line of sight. From his well-hidden spot behind the pillar, he could see and hear everything. Anger bubbled within him when he realized that he lost to Jinyoung _again,_ and he nearly crushed the supper he had so painstakingly made for you after his own dinner. But the fatal stab to the heart was the kiss and he took your inaction as acceptance. The image sears in his mind, the dreaded feeling of losing you crawls under his skin.

He leaves the scene, leaving the broken pieces of his heart scattered around. Maybe you’ll finally step on one, and notice his unwavering heart for you when it’s too late.

\---

The last contact you had with Wonpil for the past 2 weeks leading up to dinner and dance was the supper he made for you after the incident. You had got home late after trying to shake off Jinyoung, and by then the soup had gone cold. He left you a note that read:

 

_To: Y/N:_

_Sorry for not turning up in school, I wasn’t feeling too well. But Mum made some soup and had me bring it over. Heat it up before you drink it and don’t stay up too late._

 

But you could taste the lie in the soup. Only he would know to put carrots instead of celery in the soup, knowing how much you disliked the latter.

 

_Why’d you have to lie?_

 

Yet you knew he must have his reasons so you decided not to question him. You barely saw him in school; he seemed to be busy, always rushing off to places after a quick greeting to you along the corridors.

 

But you knew you had to find out why he lied, so you sent him a message, hoping he would finally be willing to talk to you again.

 

**Come over at 5pm tomorrow? I need help.**

 

The message was instantly read but the “Online” status quickly went off. Despite not getting a response, it was a good start that was enough to give you hope.

\---

"You called me all the way over here - for this?"

"To be fair... I called you because you were the only one that lived close enough to help me with this. Come in and close the door behind you."

_Why do I do this to myself..._

Despite the pain in his heart, all Wonpil did was let out a soft sigh of exasperation, before entering your room and shutting the door behind himself.

"What do you need help-"

He turned around to face you, only to find the door to your bathroom closed, light shining through from the bottom slit.

With nothing else to do, he sat down by the edge of your bed, eyes scanning your room aimlessly. Upon closer inspection, he found something amiss about your room. To be precise, there were new additions to your room - additions that were an absolute eyesore to look at. Lying on top of your desk, was the bracelet Jinyoung got you. He recognized the rose quartz charm, your birthstone for a Cancer baby.

But even now, and like all the previous occasions, Wonpil could only watch as his heart clenched in pain, nails digging into the palm of his hands to stop himself from dismantling the bracelet. He had to admit, it was a smart move by Jinyoung. Something you would wear all the time, so you would be constantly reminded of Jinyoung. Wonpil didn't realize how intensely he was staring at the bracelet until you stood right in front of him to get his attention.

"Wonpil? I called you 5 times and you didn't even respond, what are you preoccupied with?"

"Oh- I-I was just...you know. Admiring the bracelet."

He then gestures vaguely in the direction of that...thing he so very much detested before letting his arm drop back heavily to his lap, the corners of his lips lifting into a stiff smile just to make sure you would not suspect a thing.

But you saw through him; the stiff posture, the tight lines around his eyes, and the happiness that wasn't reflected in his eyes.

_He saw. He saw it that day. But why is he acting this way?_

Then the realization slams into your head, and it was the only possibility left.

_Was it possible...that he...that he...still had feelings...for me..?_

But you nip the thought in the bud before shoving it to the back of your mind.

_No he can't still have feelings for me. It's been years since we last said those words to me._

"Help me?"

"With what? You haven't told me since I got here."

He's standing by the end of the sentence, and you've turned around to have your back facing him.

"Help zip me up?"

Wonpil's words die in his throat at the sight of your exposed back and he has to take a deep breathe before answering, afraid that the tremors in his voice might give him away.

"Sure."

Still, he is hesitant. This is such an intimate act, especially when he's so hopelessly in love with you. Yet he's the only one that's so bothered by it. You sweep your hair over your shoulder, casting him a side way glance when you realized he hadn't made a move since; a look that said "What are you waiting for?"

With no other option but to go forth, Wonpil takes half a step closer to you before holding your dress in one hand, and his fingers on the other pinching the zipper between his hands. Very slowly, he draws the zipper up and electricity charges the room. As his eyes traveled over the expanse of your back, intrusive thoughts fill his mind; your fingers tangled in his hair, his hands travelling down your back as his lips finds purchase along your neck, feeling your pulse throbbing against his lips.

Meanwhile, you were having a hard time keeping your heart from racing as well. Wonpil was taking a painfully long time zipping up your dress, and you could feel his eyes on your back as he slowly made his way up. That made you more self-conscious, and goosebumps broke out all over your arms as you tried not to shiver under his gaze. He was your best friend for goodness sake, why were you feeling so hot and bothered around him?

When you felt the zip come to an end at the back of your neck, you lifted your gaze from the floor, only to find Wonpil already staring at you back in the mirror. As always, his eyes are filled with stars, they twinkle under the soft lights in your room. But the sparkle is dimmer now, shrouded behind a heavy emotion. It was a huge, dark storm of swirling emotions; disappointment sat in the center of the storm whilst sadness and anger made the violent storm rage wilder. It was the look of pain that you wear when you look at something you pine for; a situation where you look at something that you want but can never have.

 

_Oh God. He still hasn't gotten over me. He never did._

 

You gasp a little when you feel his hands rest lightly against your hips through the fabric of your dress. You catch his gaze through the mirror and you have to remind yourself to breathe with the way that he was looking at you. Pressing his lips beside your ears, your gasp escaped your lips, sounding a little too loud for your liking.

"You look beautiful tonight Y/N." _And I wish that I was the one taking you to dinner and dance instead._

He detaches himself from you with a soft brush of his lips against your ears, giving your hips a very soft squeeze.

Yet you don't let him go, capturing his hands in yours to place them on your waist before swivelling around in his arms to face him.

Unsure of what to do in such a compromising position, you hesitate for a moment before placing your hands against his shoulders, admiring how sturdy they feel under the skin of your fingertips.

You lock gazes with Wonpil, heavy silence in the air. Neither of you dared to speak first, afraid that once the status quo was broken, everything would spiral out of control. Your relationship could either become a spectacular show of fireworks, or burn to ashes in the deadly flame.

Wonpil tried his very best to keep himself in check, taking swallow breathes in order to not breathe in your intoxicating scent. He knew that if he allowed more of you to invade his senses, he might just tip himself over the edge, acting on desires that might end what little he has with you.

He may never have you as a lover, yet he certainly does not want to lose you as a friend.

He will keep his distance now, just like he always has.

 

He kept his hands firmly locked on your waist, his eyes travelling to safe space. Like your eyes. But now... maybe they weren’t so safe anymore. Your eyes that always held such strong emotions, were now asking him one simple question.

And the answer to that question, was one that he hoped to spend the rest of his life proving and showing. He wanted so badly to just press his lips to yours now, whispering between kisses and breathes how much he loved you. But he knows that it is not his place to shower you with love unless you allow him to. So he takes that thought and shove it away until your break the silence and bring it to the forefront of his mind.

“Do you...still...like me...?”

Wonpil lets out a small chuckle at your question; was it really one that needed to be asked? Releasing a hand from your waist, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ears before cupping your jaw gently,

The pad of his thumb hovers above your skin for a moment, hesitation still evident in his eyes. He would hate himself if you chose to walk away at the end of it all...but he would hate himself more if he didn't try. Softly caressing your cheek, he takes his time admiring your features, committing them to memory. He may never get the chance to do this ever again, so he basks in the moment; the one time he has your undivided attention. He gazes into your eyes lovingly, never once breaking eye contact before pouring all his emotions into those heartfelt words.

“It seems like the whole world knows this except you but I do Y/N. I like you. I love you. Nothing has changed since the last time I told you under that big willow tree in high school.”

He pauses to compose himself before continuing.

“But it’s ok even if I’m not the one you love. It might take some time but... I'll get over you. Someday. Somehow. I don't ask for your love, I just ask that you be happy."

He gives you a weak smile and your resolve breaks apart. It lets out a torrential flood in its wake and the only thing stopping you was the feeling of his arms around your back as you surged forward into his open arms. You tighten your arms around his neck, and he soon feels water dripping down the column of his neck.

"Y/N...? What's wrong?"

Instinctively his hands reach up to smooth your hair, like he always does when he has to comfort you after hard times. You bite on your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying out loud, willing the tears to stop flowing so dramatically.

"Shhh... It's ok now Y/N... It's ok... I got you, I always got you..."

It's true. Nothing's changed. Even though you brushed his feelings aside many times, he never put yours aside. You many have broke his heart, but it's clear that the broken parts still beat for you. These thoughts made you choke out a strangled sob, and you gave up trying to hold it in. You cried freely into Wonpil's shoulder at the thought of him constantly watching over you, the feelings of guilt and disappointment making you shake more violently in his arms. Holding you closer, he repeats his comforting strokes along your hair and back, rocking you slightly now in a bid to lull you into a sense of comfort so that you'll stop crying.

"Silly girl. What's wrong... please don't cry anymore..."

"Saying such things is only going to make the tears flow even more so would you just shut up and let me finish crying."

"Feisty. You're still the same... Ok then."

True to his word, Wonpil stops talking, but he continues comforting you until he hears that you've stopped crying. When he feels you push yourself off of him, he stretches over the length of your bed to reach for the tissue by your bedside before turning back around to place them on your tear stained face.

As you rub your face dry, you attempt to look him in the eye but you give up immediately, feeling the tears well up in your eyes again at the sight on his attentive face, ready to listen to whatever concern you might have.

"This is so embarrassing..."

You turn your face 180 degrees away from his, trying your best to not cry again. Yet memories of how he's cared for you all these years play again and again in your mind, making your guilt eat away at you again. A few stray tears slip down your cheek, and you hastily swat them away.

"Come here."

Wonpil's fingers are on your jaw again, turning your face to make you face him again. Carefully, with a touch that is tender and eyes full of love, he wipes your tears away gently.

"If you keep swatting your face, it's going to turn all red."

"I honestly can't be bothered."

"Come on~ you put in so much effort to look good tonight. Let's not let that go to waste."

When the mucus finally clears from your nose and you can speak clearly again, you whisper:

"How? Why? After so long your heart still hasn't changed..."

"You keep giving me more reasons to love you, why would my heart change? Besides, you know me better than myself, and you accept me wholeheartedly for that. Why would I walk away from someone I won't have to spend the rest of my life explaining myself to?"

He intertwined his fingers with yours, giving it a light squeeze as he stroked your knuckles.

"But like I said, it's ok if you can't love me. I'll find a way to let you go eventually. Even though it hurts."

It felt like a stab in the gut to admit defeat, but Wonpil rather let go with grace then to cry and whine about it. He stands to go.

But this time, it's no longer him that wants to let go.

"Stay. Let me try to love you too, Wonpil."

He furrowed his eyebrows at your odd request, wondering if his ears were playing tricks on him.

"But Jinyoung..."

"He’s not the one. I was never sure about him, but now I know he’s not the one. But I’m willing to give this a shot Wonpil, I’m willing to try."

"Really?"

"Really."

"You're not joking?"

"I'm not."

"Are you serious?"

"I'm serious."

You stare him dead in the eye and it happened so quickly that you weren't even aware until it already happened. You felt your back hit the cool glass panels of your wardrobe and Wonpil's nose press against your cheek as he kisses you deeply. The feeling knocks the wind out of you, and it leaves you breathless. This time round, it feels right. You welcome the kiss, weaving your fingers into his hair. You surrender to Wonpil, allowing him to take the lead. His kiss was full of longing, with a hint of relief that you hear in the small sigh he breathes out in between kisses. He kisses you passionately and fervently at first, leaving no inch of your lips untouched. But soon he slows down, taking his time to savor the taste of your lips, nipping and tugging at them sensually.

When he finally breaks away to catch some air, you giggle when you notice how flushed his face was as you run your thumb over his swollen lips.

"I am really, seriously, deeply in love with you Y/N."

"I am too, Wonpil. You don't have to worry about me running away anymore; I'm here to stay. And this time round, I'm serious."


	38. Three words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Sungjin x You
> 
> Genre: Angst, slice of life, fluff
> 
> Word count: 3.9k
> 
> Description: All I wanted is to here those 3 simple words and have you hold me close, but why is that so hard to do, with you?

 

I love you.

Three simple words.

Are they really very hard to say? Is it really that difficult? I hear everyone around me saying it, so why does it often feel like I have to beg him to say it before he does? Why does it seem like I am the only one begging for validation in this relationship and he’s the one that doesn’t seem to care?

Sometimes I really think that I am in a one sided relationship with him, where I constantly feel like I’m interacting with a piece of wood that can’t say anything back to me.

Sometimes I just want to beat him into a pulp but of course I won’t do that. I can never bring myself to do that. I love him too much.  

But sometimes...sometimes… I-I… I just want to feel like I’m not the only one that’s giving in the relationship.

 

Tonight, these thoughts keep me up again. Sitting up in our shared bed, I toss my hair out of face, tucking a strand behind my ear as I stare down at Sungjin’s sleeping figure beside me. He has a hand draped over my thighs, his steady breathes tickling the insides of my bare thigh. He never says “I love you” back to me ever, and the only time he’ll be willing to do skinship with me is during times like this, when he’s unconscious and off in dreamland. God knows what this man dreams off when he’s sleeping so deeply, probably not me. Working my fingers through his soft locks, I try to find comfort in the familiar action, hoping it would lull me to sleep. Sungjin stirs, responding to my touch. He nestles closer to me, his cheek now resting on my thighs. He does this all the time, but each time he does, it still sends sparks flying across my skin. Yet I bet he feels nothing.

_Sungjin ah… are we even dating? Is this even a relationship if you don’t show any affection?_

 

Helpless in my situation, I let out an exasperated sigh, closing my eyes to try to sleep. The last sensation I was aware of was being laid to sleep, the short ends of his hair tickling my forehead.

\---

Awakened by the morning heat, it took me some time to regain my senses from the lack of sleep. Stretching across the length of the bed, my legs came into contact with the bed sheets instead of Sungjin’s legs like they usually do, and I was left looking at his empty pillow, rather than his sleeping face. Reaching across his side of the bed, I bring the small digital clock close to my face, my bleary eyes barely making out the time.

_6am. He’s up early again. Maybe I should go outside to see if he’s still around._

Pushing myself off the bed, I shuffle out of the bedroom, my eyes immediately squinting to adjust to the bright white lights of the living room. As I rub my eyes, I could make out Sungjin’s figure hastily preparing the dining table, glancing to check at his wristwatch every few seconds.

“Hey darling...”

“Oh! Hey babe, it’s too early for you to be up.”

“Woken up by the heat, and I could say the same back to you. A certain Park Sungjin I know would never be up so early.”

“Did I forget to tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“That we have rehearsal today for our concert on Sunday.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be tomorrow? You told me Saturday, today’s a Friday.”

“Yea the boys wanted to have more rehearsals at the venue so we just booked the venue yesterday. Sorry sweetheart but I got to go now; I made you breakfast so remember to eat it. Drive safely on the road and remember to text me when you’ve arrived at work!”

“Yea I will. Bye, love you.”

“Bye!”

The whole conversation was over in seconds, and I don’t remember much of it. But I do remember saying  “love you.”

 

And I remember that he didn’t say it back.

\---

True to my word, I texted Sungjin the moment I safely pulled into the parking space at work. He texted back with a thumbs up emoji and the heavy stone began weighing in my chest again.

_Oh, why am I getting so worked up over it? He does this all the time, I should be used to it by now._

Turning the screen black, I toss my phone into my bag. I went about my day at work, trying my best to not think about him. Yet the stone kept getting heavier and heavier in my chest, at some point making it physically hard to breathe. Yet all I could do was let out heavy sighs; no one was going to understand how this feels like even if I told them. Neck deep in work, I only realised it was time to knock off when I began to hear the sound of bags being zipped and laptop lids being shut. Standing up, I shoulder my bag as I drop Sungjin to text to say that I’m coming over, hoping that I’ve got enough time to catch a glimpse of them before they start Round 2 of rehearsals.

\---

I pull into the stadium car park in a record 40 minutes after making a trip to Starbucks, leaving me with another 20 to catch up with them. In a measly attempt to shield myself from the rain, I place one hand over my head, the other holding onto my bag of Starbucks items. The staff were the first to greet me, and I pass them their share of snacks and drinks. Sungjin follows straight after, relieving me of the bag carrying duties.

“You didn’t have to run in the rain, why didn’t you use the umbrella in the car?”

“Sungjin, it’s fine. Besides, I didn’t have enough hands for that. How was rehearsal so far? Where are the rest of the boys?”

Sungjin begins patting my face with the towel hanging around his neck as I talk, eventually moving along to clean the rain droplets that have made their way to my neck as well.

“Firstly, keep running in the rain like that and you’re going to get sick. Secondly, rehearsal has been great so far, except for some sound issues for Wonpil’s solo stage that need some fixing. Thirdly, the boys have been waiting eagerly for you since you texted me 40 minutes ago, they’re in the dressing room.”

“Lies; more like they’ve been waiting for the food.”

“Baby, are you jealous? Ok to be fair, they are waiting for the food but they have not shut up about wanting to see you since this morning.”

“Oh really? Is that so now?”

“It is.”

Somehow, Sungjin’s hands find mine as both of us walk towards the waiting room but the conversation gets interrupted by Young K’s loud cheers upon the sight of me and the food, and Wonpil breaks the two of us up by engulfing me in a tight hug.

“THANKS FOR THE FOOD Y/N!”

“You’re welcome Hungry K~”

100% mesmerised by the food, Young K ignores my teasing, before poking the straw through the lid of his iced Americano. Letting out a dramatic sigh, he smacks his lips together as he leans back in the plush sofa, sipping on the drink like a newborn baby. Meanwhile, Jae and Wonpil engage in a fight over the last chocolate croissant, with Jae attacking by smacking Wonpil’s hands away, ultimately cementing his victory with a triumphant bite into the pastry. Dowoon remains the only unbothered one, stealthily taking his own ice blended vanilla with no one to fight him for his blueberry muffin.

“Am a the leader of a bunch of babies, or a bunch of men in their 20s?”

Despite the harsh jab at his members, Sungjin passes over his own chocolate croissant to Wonpil with a small shake of his head and smirk on his lips. Wonpil’s face lights up at the sight of the food, sticking his tongue out at Jae’s scandalized expression.

“Sungjin my good friend, you should not have done that. It was supposed to be payback for him stealing my churros the last time!”

“Hyung, you gotta let that go. It’s been months since he stole your churros, and technically he only stole one. You took the last one back.”

Jae shoots Sungjin a glare for exposing him, but soon resumes to his usual program of sipping on his drink between each bite of food. The whole room falls into a comfortable silence soon after; I didn’t want to disturb them after a tiring day of rehearsals. Sungjin strokes my knuckles with his thumb, moving back and forth along the thin skin. I thought no one would notice what Sungjin does but I should know better; nothing escapes Young K’s sharp fox eyes.

“Hyung why don’t both of you do skinship often?”

The question catches Sungjin off guard, and he nearly chokes on his drink.

“Look, my personal life-”

Sungjin attempts to defend himself, only for Wonpil to add to the mess.

“Oh it is so frustrating looking at the both of you! Can we get some action already!”

“Ya Kim Wonpil! What sort of action do you think you’re going to get?”

Sungjin’s eyes go wide at Wonpil’s suggestive statement, slamming his drink down on the table in the process. Still his hands do not leave mine, holding onto them tightly now to give me moral support.

“I don’t know! Anything is better than just simple hand holding!”

I blush furiously at their words, unsure of what to do now. Jae opens his mouth to speak and I was about to mentally thank him for saving the day but what Jae says next only makes things worse.

_I regret feeding these boys so well. I should have just let them starve so that they would not have energy to blabber nonsense._

“Sungjin, they have all made extremely valid and magnificent points. You two need more skinship and action, time to work it in! I really don’t understand how you can write amazing love songs and sing them to a crowd numbering thousands yet you can’t do anything more with your girl except hold her hand.”

From his seat at the end of the table, Dowoon nods along vigorously to everything his hyungs say.

I can see a vein pop in Sungjin’s temple, instantly deciding that now was the time to step in before the atmosphere became heavier.

“Awww come on~ let’s not tease Sungjin. I know he’s uncomfortable with displaying affection in public so I don’t ask that he does it.”

“Man Leader, you really got lucky, having Y/N as a girlfriend that would be willing to put up with your lack of affection.”

“Why are we still on this topic! Come on let’s go, you’re going to be late for rehearsals!”

Releasing my hand from his, I shoo the boys out of the waiting room. With drinks still in their hands, the boys toss out words of appreciation like “Thanks for the food Y/N!” and cheeky farewells such as “Bye sister in law!” before making a good choice to run all the way to the stage, lest Sungjin gives them all a whooping kick in the butt.

Watching their retreating figures, Sungjin mutters “They are so dead.” under his breath before turning to me.

“Darling, you should go too. They can’t start rehearsals without their leader and rhythm guitarist. They’ll be waiting.”

“Ok I’ll go. Are you going to hang around? Or are you tired? Wanna go home first?”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ears, using his index finger to outline the shell of my ear.

“Yea I’m going to hang around to watch the rehearsal.”

“Ok let’s go home together later, I’ll tell my manager.”

From behind Sungjin, I spot their manager waving him over so I quickly let him go.

“Ok we can discuss this later, you really got to go now.”

“Ok bye see you later babe!”

He whispers his last words, well aware that his manager was eyeing us now. Very quickly, he brings my hands to his lips, giving a soft peck to the back of it.

He turns and makes a beeline for his manager, apologizing profusely as he gets closer. Meanwhile, I turn and head in the other direction, making my way to the Category 1 seats where I can get a better view of the boys.

Yet my heart isn’t focused, my eyes not even looking at them most of the time. Their words keep ringing in my head, and it dawns upon me how much truth their words hold. Sungjin’s lack of affectionate displays, his lack of verbal words of affirmation towards our relationship; heck he’s already blushing furiously at the mere mention of our relationship in public.

_Could it be that...perhaps...he’s ashamed of our relationship? He’s never willing to show how he feels towards our relationship…_

My heart clenches in pain as dread spreads over my entire body, the thought making my breath catch in my throat as I fist the sides of my blouse. But when I lift my head to look at the stage, Sungjin is already looking at me, his eyes never leaving mine as they seem to shine more radiantly under the stage light. They sparkle and glow, his lips breaking into a smile when he catches me staring back.

_Was this all for show?_

The thought crushes my spirits, and I fist my blouse harder, tearing a few threads in the process.

\---

When Sungjin hops into the passenger seat enthusiastically, I fake a smile on my face, hoping he wouldn’t see through the facade. Thankfully, I think he doesn’t. Taking my hand in his again, he places a quick peck confidently to the back of my hands now, the screens on the car windows giving us a bit more privacy than the waiting room from before.

“Let’s go! Ah can’t wait to go back home and hit the sack.”

I hum out a response, releasing my hand from his to place them back on the steering wheel. The ride back starts out silent, and I was hoping it would remain as such. But my hopes are dashed when Sungjin begins to ask about my day, but I am absolutely not in the mood to talk to him.

“Hey babe, how was your day?”

“Hmmm, the usual. Mind if I turn on some music?”

Without even waiting for his confirmation, I punch a button on the dashboard, the familiar piano intro of “I Smile” filling the space in the car.  

_Life is cruel to me. All I want to do is not be reminded of a certain Park Sungjin, yet his song has to come on._

I groan inwardly, and if Sungjin heard he’s doesn’t say a thing. Which is perfectly fine with me. Better that way actually, better than me having to explain how I feel and looking like a fool afterwards for being so needy compared to him. For the rest of the ride home, the music coming from the stereo is the only sound filling the car, a effective distraction from my bad mood.

When we pull into the car park, I hop out and head straight for the door without waiting for Sungjin. He trails behind me, eyeing me the entire time but not saying a word. I know that he knows that I’m in a bad mood now, and this knowledge only makes the tension build in my shoulders, my temples straining more with each pulse of the persistent headache. Thoroughly annoyed now, I open the front door with a little too much force, kicking off my shoes impatiently. Making a beeline for the bedroom, I almost managed to shut the door in his face until his hand slips through the cracks, prying the door open with his superior strength. He’s now standing before me with furrowed brows and confused eyes, catching onto my wrist gently before I can walk away.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Is everything ok?”

He turns me around so that I’m facing him now, a tired sigh leaving my lips as I fight back the tears of frustration. Too drained to keep up the facade of nonchalance, I feel my walls come crashing down as the words come tumbling out of my mouth.

“No, it’s not ok. I’m not ok, this is not ok. None of this is ok.”

I fling my wrist away from his hands, the swing of my hands back causing me to take a step away from him.

“Babe, I’m not quite... getting what you mean. What are you referring to?”

“Our relationship! This-This-This game you play! Sungjin, it is _so so so_ exhausting to have to second-guess our relationship. Sometimes I wonder if you even love me. You won’t ever say ‘I love you’ back no matter how many times I say it. You seem like you don’t want to have anything to do with me in public, all you do is hold my hands! And that’s it! Not even a hug! I get that you don’t like skinship in public but am I really so... _repulsive_?You only seek me out when we’re home alone with the privacy of four walls; it honestly makes me wonder if you’re that ashamed to have me as your girlfriend.”

“Babe, it’s not what you-”

I hear his voice, but I ignore it, wanting to drown out the comforting timbre of his voice with my own so I won’t fall into his arms again.

“The dread that scrapes the insides of my bones when I realise that maybe, you don’t want me as much as I want you makes me want to burst into tears, at any time of the day, for every second as long as I’m thinking about it! Sungjin is there something wrong with me? Something that you’re not proud of?”

His tone turns serious now, his voice dropping an octave lower than it usually is.

“Baby, you’re going to exhaust yourself more if you keep going. Please, let me-”

“Sungjin, if you do, please tell me. I really don’t have the energy to play this guessing game anymore. I-”

My next words are promptly swallowed by the kiss he has pulled me into, full lip on lip contact. My hands are sprawled out over his chest to stop the impact of my full weight from slamming into his body, his warm hands cradling the sides of my face. The kiss lasts for a good 10 seconds as he slowly works his lips against mine, engulfing my lips with big sweeps of his expert mouth. When we finally break away for air, he contacts his forehead to mine as he opens his eyes to look at me, holding my face in place to make sure my full attention is on him.

 

“I don’t love you? Y/N, I love you, you are my entire world. Universe. Wait no, that’s not right. You mean the world to me. Ah yes, that’s the correct term. See, this is why I don’t say I love you much, I’m so bad with words. I don’t say it often, but please don’t _ever_ , from here on, doubt that I am in love with you. I will repeat it for the rest of my life if you need me to, until you firmly believe in it.   _I love you baby_ , with all my heart and soul. Every single love song is about you, you are always on my mind.

Trust me, I want you as much as you want me. Maybe even more. I want to kiss you and hold you and hug you too but not in public. I want to do it when we’re alone, I want to keep it special. Just sweet little moments between you and me, not something to be on display for others.

I’m sorry for making you doubt yourself and this relationship, you- you should have told me earlier instead of bottling up all these pent up frustrations. I promise I’ll do better to show you how much I love you.”

“Ok then. Prove it to me.”

Sungjin graces me with a quirk of his eyebrow, and I was certain that he was going to back down from the challenge. But he advances quickly with amazing speed, and I barely have time to breathe.

“Text me when you’re at work.”

A peck.

“Drive safely on the road.”

A peck.

“I made you breakfast, eat it when it’s hot.”

Another peck.

With each sentence, he has me moving backwards until the back of my knees hit the edge of the bed, my reflex causing my knee to jerk underneath me to send me flying backwards into the plush sheets of the bed. Sungjin’s hands are on the back of my head to break my fall, making sure I don’t slam into the bed too hard.

Now that he has me where he wants me to be, he crawls onto the bed with me, positioning himself between my legs. He hovers very close above me, yet he is careful to not crush me with his weight.

He brings his lips to my forehead, starting there.

“I.”

A peck on the forehead.

“Love.”

A peck between my eyes.

“You.”

A peck on the bridge of my nose.

“So.”

A peck on the tip of my nose.

“Much.”

A kiss on the lips this time, one that was less hungry than before. Still Sungjin moves with great agility, angling his head so that he gets better access to my lips. He nibbles on the upper lip before nipping at the lower lip, eliciting a contented sign from me.

Breaking away, he says in a breathy whisper, “Do you still doubt me now?”

“No…”

“Ok you don’t sound convinced, let’s try this one more time.”

Then his lips are on mine again, his hands moving under my blouse to caress the sensitive skin and sweet spots along the side of my body that he knows are my weaknesses. He moves down to place a chaste kiss on my stomach before paying attention to my lips again. I close my eyes at the heavenly sensations, my skin shivering with each touch he gives.

“Are you convinced now babe?”

“Yea. Yea I am.”

\---

Later that night, I lie in bed waiting for Sungjin, watching through hooded eyelids as he travels from the bathroom to his side of the bed, a soft smirk lifting up the corner of his lips as he catches me staring. I close my eyes when I feel the bed dip beside me, knowing that he’s by my side. He shifts around in the bed for a little while, moving closer to spoon me. I nestle closer to him, finding the comfortable spot under his chin and between the crook of his neck. Taking a deep breath of his cologne, I relax, feeling my body melt and mold to fit nicely with his. One hand wrapped around my waist, he pulls me closer with the hand that crossed over my chest, dipping his hand to plant a kiss on my bare shoulders.

“Good night Sungjin.”

“Nights baby, I love you.”


	39. Hugs and Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jae x You
> 
> Genre: Fluff, slice of life
> 
> Word count: 2.1k
> 
> Description: When you’ve had a hard day at work, and Jae is there to comfort you.
> 
> Insp: puuung1 on Instagram; do check out their work, the art style reminds me of Jae so much! :)

Pulling into the parking lot, you let out a deep sigh as you sink into the seat. As you twist your neck from side to side, you hear the sockets in your neck pop, bringing some short-lived relief from the tension that’s been in your neck the entire day. You can still feel the tightness in your shoulders, but hopefully a patch would do the trick later. Reaching over to the passenger seat to grab your bag, you wince harshly at the sharp pain from your lower back. You must have hit a nerve.

You catch a glimpse of your lock screen, a wistful smile making an appearance on your face. It was the last selfie you took with Jae 2 months ago before he went on tour, and you haven’t seen him since. Your relationship was sustained through constant texting and late night Skype calls, lasting way into the early mornings. Sometimes you momentarily regret staying up so late with him when you arrive to work dead beat, but for him it’s worth it.

_He’s finally coming back tomorrow, another 24 hours without him. You can do this Y/N._

Stepping out of the car, you made the slow walk home to your apartment, taking your time opening the door. Swinging the door open, the first thing you noticed were that the lights were on.

_Did I forget to off them this morning? Argh I must have, what a waste of electricity…_

You were about the flip the switch before the sound of thundering footsteps drew your attention away from your current task. Turning around, you spot a very familiar lanky figure with a mop of light brown hair charging towards you at full speed.

Your husband was home.

“Jae!”

You spread your arms out wide, getting ready to embrace him but you didn’t even have time to give him a proper hug before he picked you up from the floor, twirling you around the entire living room. You were now clinging onto him for dear life, peals of laughter spilling from your lips. Jae finally puts you down after making 1 round throughout the entire living room, not letting go even after your feet has touched the ground. He nestles his face into your hair, deeply inhaling the scent of your peach shampoo that he loved so much. He holds you close by your shoulders, pressing a kiss into your hair. Only then was he satisfied to release you, giving you a chance to question him.

“Aren’t you supposed be home tomorrow darling?”

“Yea but I changed my flight to an earlier one.”

“That must have cost you a lot.”

“A few hundred.”

“You didn’t have to, you know. You could have saved the money.”

“Well, yea it’s true. I do value money but I know I miss you more than I will miss the money and hence the decision.”

You laugh at his ridiculous reasoning, unable to argue with him except to peck him on the lips.

“Welcome home Jae.”

“Hmmm, I miss your kisses babe.”

“Ok, shall I give you one more then?”

“Why are we only stopping at one?”

You chuckle at his cheeky request, but you continue to indulge him with the kisses that he’s missed so much.

“Yea this feels so much better than all the flying kisses you give me over the screen during our Skype calls.”

“Of course.”

You pull back to look at his handsome face that you missed so much, tracing your fingers over the bridge of his nose before bopping the tip of it. However, Jae wasn’t enjoying it as much as you were. He frowned when he observed your face, noticing your pale complexion and darker eye bags. Removing his hands from your cheeks, he gently places his fingers on your chin, tilting it from side to side to get a better look at your face.

“Babe, have you been eating well? You look like you lost a lot of weight, your cheeks are hollower now and they’re not as fluffy as before…”

“Have I? I didn’t notice.” You bring your hands up to pat your cheeks, indeed being able to feel them sinking in more than usual.

“It’s been a rough time at work huh? My poor baby…”

“Yea.. and it’s a particularly rough day today. Tell you about it later. Let me go clean up first?”

“Yea sure babe, go ahead. I’ll run the bath for you.”

Pressing a kiss into your forehead, Jae finally detaches himself from you as he runs to the start the bath, albeit a little reluctantly. His touch lingers at the ends of your fingertips, and you’re already missing being able to hold him.

The bath is nice and warm the moment you step in, courtesy of Jae. You realise he even remembered to put in the lavender scented oil, the loud thoughts in your head becoming quiet as you breathe in the soft scent. Closing your eyes, you sink into the bathtub and let yourself rest.

\---

You had barely stepped out of your bedroom before Jae engulfs you in a warm blanket, hugging you tight through the soft fabric.

“Feeling better?”

“Much~ better thanks to you.”

Jae smiles his smile, the one that has his eyes turning into crescents and shows off his neat rows of pearly whites.

“Alright my beautiful wife, let’s go sit down then you can tell me all about your day.”

“Ok, but honey, you know I can’t move wrapped like a burrito right?”

“Gotcha.”

And that’s how Jae has both of you shuffling over to the couch like emperor penguins, him moving from side to side as he hugs you from behind, taking small steps as you try to keep up with small waddles of your own.

Settling you on the couch, Jae places his hands over your shoulders, pulling you close as he begins to comb through your hair. You, on the other hand, made yourself comfortable by placing your head on his shoulders, removing your hands from the blanket so that you can slip your fingers through his, smiling when he curls his slender fingers around yours, giving them a reassuring squeeze.

“What happened at work?”

“Where do I even begin…”

You honestly meant it when you made that comment, work had been overwhelming so far and you didn’t know how to piece it all together to make it coherent.

“You know Jackson went on paternity leave for 2 months right?”

“Yea, what about that?”

“So I had to cover his duties and truth to be told, it’s not fun at all. Having to do 2 people’s job for 2 months has been insanely tiring. I didn’t even occur to me until you mentioned it just now but sometimes I get so busy that I work overtime and miss dinner entirely. Despite all the effort put in, I _still_ messed up. Sigh.”

“Come on baby, it mustn’t have been that bad right? You’re always thinking that you’re doing a bad job when you did great.”

“No this time round, it’s _real_ bad. Like, even you would agree with me when you hear it.”

“Let’s hear it.”

“So we had a meeting with our suppliers today and usually Jackson’s in charge of it but you know, since he’s away, the responsibility falls on me now. I was supposed to come up with a renewed business proposal, which I did but here comes the worst part: I could not answer their questions during the Q&A session. I did not do enough research on the current market condition and overall, I just made it seem like my company did not know what it was doing. Needless to say, I got a pretty terrible lashing from the boss afterwards and then...there was the really rude intern I was telling you about that just had to make my day worse.”

“What did he do to you?”

“He didn’t say anything to me, he just glared at me and started slamming things down to show his displeasure at me when I corrected the way he was preparing documents. There are certain procedures to follow and things to be checked but he just skipped all those critical steps. He may be the nephew of our duty manager but that’s no way to go.”

As you talked, memories of today’s happenings slowly floated to the forefront of your mind, making all the bitter indignation rise like sour bile in your throat. You push back the tears of frustrations that threaten to fall, and opted to stay silent lest Jae heard your voice cracking and gets all worried. He just got back from a tiring tour, you wanted him to not have any worries for the moment.

“Baby, you did a great job and you did the right thing. No matter what others see, you know how hard you’ve worked for the past 2 months. You might have messed up on a big event, but it was just this once. Look at me, look at us! We make mistakes on stage as a band all the time but it’s ok. Give yourself credit for all the other things that you have been able to accomplish successfully in the past 2 months, alright? As for the intern, it’s just a pity that he can’t see how you’re trying to guide him to become a better person. All I can say is good luck to him, the real world is going to be harsher.”

“Jae, that’s so mean.”

“It’s the truth! You know I never sugarcoat my words.”

“I do… thanks for listening to me Jae.”

“No problem babe. Remember, you did a great job my beautiful, lovely, hardworking wife.”

Jae places a kiss to your forehead with each word he says, and it almost feels like a chicken pecking on it’s grains and you laugh at the mental image in your head. When Jae pulls back, you see a glint on his face and you know he’s got an idea.

“Jae… what are you thinking of?”

“I was just thinking of ways to cheer you up; hey wanna see my baby photos?”

“Baby photos? Where’d you get them from?”

“Mum brought along a bunch of photo albums with her when she came to the airport to see me today. Said she found them when she was cleaning the house recently. You got to see them, some of them are really funny. I didn’t even know she had these photos!”

You settled yourself by the coffee table as you wait for Jae to pick out his photo albums. You watch as he bends to flip through them, choosing which ones to show you. He comes back with an armful of them, proceeding to spread them out all over the table.

“I get to choose any one of them?”

“Yea!”

You choose the one that looks the oldest; you could smell the dust that has settled deep within the pages, the cover already yellowing with age. It was your best bet to find some golden photo of Jae as a baby and true enough, the first photo you laid your eyes upon already had you crooning at how adorable he was.

Jae had his feet laid straight in front of him, holding onto a Pooh toy as his mouth opened into a wide “O” shape. Clearly, something was making him very happy.

“Is this the same Pooh bear that lying in your studio now?”

“It is.”

“I can’t believe you kept it for so long! How is it not falling apart after so many years?”

As you continued talking, Jae had settled behind you, pulling you to sit between his legs as he places his chin in your shoulder.

“You did taekwondo as a kid!”

“For a short while. I lost interest after some time and moved on to badminton.”

“That’s so cool though… I got myself a talented husband.”

You turn to nuzzle your nose into his cheek and Jae scrunches his nose at the ticklish feeling.

“Of course you did. Oh wait! I actually have a funny story to tell you about taekwondo, it’s so ridiculous, you won’t believe it!”

Hours pass as Jae continues telling you story after story that has you doubling over in laughter, laughing till your stomach aches and tears are prickling the side of your eyes. As Jae closes the cover of the last album, fatigue envelopes you like a soft blanket, lulling you to sleep right there in Jae’s arms.

“Thank you for cheering me up Jae.”

You angle your head to the side to plant a lazy kiss to his jaw and Jae reciprocates by dipping his head to place a soft kiss on your cheek.

“Anything for you angel. Rest now, you did well today.”   



	40. Picture perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jae x You
> 
> Genre: fluff, slice of life,
> 
> Word count: 2.3k
> 
> Description: photographer!jae AU

**[Jae POV]**

She is beauty.

She is beauty, and grace and everything in between.

She is the soft caress of the morning sun on your skin, warm and bright.

She is the dim glow of the moon through the clouds, hidden at time, but still greatly felt.

She is the calm lapping of the waves against the shore, comforting and cool.

She is everything that is good in this world.

Someone that is too good for me.

I think of all these things as I look at the photo I just took of her during the school carnival event. The sun was shining radiantly on her, making her skin bask with a light glow. Her hair glittered in variations of gold and browns, eyes lightening from their usual shade of chocolate to caramel. In that moment, she was a sight that demanded to be looked at, a picture perfect moment that must be captured.

It was unfair you know, the universe always conspires to make her look so beautiful and lovely. Which makes her seem even more unattainable yet it makes me fall harder for her at the same time.

She catches me staring, and raises a single eyebrow in my direction before marching over.

_Oh no she’s coming. Be still heart...be still…_

The little pep talk doesn’t work because with each step that she takes towards me, I can hear the pounding of my heart getting louder in my ears, feel the warmness spreading over my cheeks.

“Jaehyung ah, got any good shots yet?”

“A couple!” I answer with a little too much enthusiasm, and I mentally slap myself in the face for losing my cool.

“Let’s see them.”

Hastily, I punch the little knobs on the body of the solid black DSLR camera, quickly showing her some shots I got of the students and teachers. She squints her eyes to take a closer look, and I quickly pull back once she’s done reviewing them.

“That’s all?”

“Yea…”

“That’s too little! We’re the only 2 on duty in this area so we need to work harder to take more shots each. Focus Jae.”

She taps me lightly on the head with the body of her camera, scrunching her nose and setting her lips into a thin line. Even though she’s annoyed at me, I still think she’s adorable.

“I’m sorry, I’ll pay more attention.”

“I’ll be watching you Park Jaehyung.”

She shoots 2 fingers at me, trying to act serious but the smile on her lips give her away. She’s not really angry at me, she hardly is at anyone.

“Gotcha.”

Courage surges over me in a sudden wave and I throw a wink in her direction. The corners of her lip lift up just a little bit more, and she’s off to the other side of the field, trying to get some good shots of the Ares House.

_Y/N-ah, the more you look at me, the more I won’t be able to focus._

But the last thing I want to do is make her angry, so I put my focus back on the event, chasing after the beautiful shots that could possibly rival her beauty.

\---

“Ya Jae, you know that staring at her photo won’t make her fall in love with you, right?”

“Shut up and stop snooping on what I’m doing!”

Jae slams the screen of his laptop down, throwing one of his used tissue papers at Younghyun. He doesn't care if it’s unhygienic and filled with his mucus; better for him if Younghyun gets sick too. Only when he’s lost his voice and immobilised in bed will he finally shut up about you and Jae.

“EWWW!!!”

Younghyun lets out a high pitched noise that sounds more like a screech than a scream and before gingerly pinching the waste tissue and letting it drop onto Jae’s bed on the lower bunk.

“That was disgusting yucks. Besides, I was hardly snooping. Your laptop screen was on with full brightness, anyone can see what you’re doing it.”

“Basic courtesy Younghyun. You don’t look at what others are doing on their laptop.”

“Couldn’t pass on an opportunity to tease you.”

“As if you don’t do that enough.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just ask her out already.”

“Why are you so concerned with my love life?”

“Because we live together and you’re my friend so your life automatically becomes my life. It’s part of Bro Code. Duh.”

Younghyun narrows his foxy eyes at Jae, raising both hands in a noncommittal gesture. Jae rolls his eyes at Younghyun, settling for that as a retort. He’s not going to what little that’s left of his energy on Kang Younghyun. Jae never wins, and he’s not about to give his roommate that satisfaction again. Younghyun was about to turn and lie down when Jae’s phone rang, immediately catching his attention.

Jae’s eyes widen ten times at the sight of the caller ID, snapping his head to shoot a warning glare at Younghyun.

“It’s Y/N isn’t it?”

“I swear, if you make any inappropriate comment when I’m-”

“Relax I won’t. Just pick up the call.”

Jae has his eyes trained on Younghyun the entire as he swipes the green button; still Younghyun does not give up, mouthing ideas of how to ask you out to Jae from his spot on the top bunk.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hey Jae, where are you?”

“Am I supposed to be somewhere?”

“Yes. And that somewhere is the photography room, editing photos from the school carnival.”

Jae’s eyes blow to the size of dining plates when he realised that he’s forgotten the appointment he’s made with you today, guilt chewing away at his conscience when he realised he’s left you alone.

“Y/N, I am so sorry! I’m rushing over now.”

His saliva rises violently in his throat, triggering a violent round of coughs that nearly tears his throat apart.

Your eyes widen as you listen to him hecking away for 5 minutes over the phone, realising that he was sick.

“Jae, are you ok? You don’t sound well.”

“Yea I’m ok -”

Another round of coughs and aggressive blowing of his nose.

“No mister, you are not ok. Do not leave your room, I am coming over.”

You don’t give him time to protest before ending the call, slipping your phone into your jeans pocket as you dash out of the photography room towards his dorm.

\---

You haven’t even knocked on the door when it was thrown open, a dishevelled looking Jae greeting you. Younghyun waves at you from his spot on the bed and you wave back before he flops onto his bed and proceeds to scroll through his phone. Jae notices, then decides it was better to shut the door to make sure Younghyun does not get more blackmail material. Stepping closer to you now, you can feel the heat radiating off Jae’s body even from an arm’s length away and you instinctively reach up to touch his forehead, moving your hand under his mop of fringe.

“You’re running a fever. Did you see a doctor?”

You move downwards to place the back of your hand lightly against his neck and Jae visibly stiffens, your touch sending shockwaves through his entire body. Jae’s cold body feels hotter now, and it’s not because of his fever.

“I’ll be fine after popping some pills, give me 1 minute ok? I’ll be out in a flash, then we can head to the photography room.”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t say anything about going to the photography room.”

You cross your arms in front of your chest, tapping your fingers against your elbow as Jae gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in an distractingly attractive manner.

“Isn’t that what you’re...here...for…?”

“No Mr Park Jaehyung, I’m here for your camera so _I_ can head back to the photography room to edit the photos, whereas _you_ , are going to stay here and rest.”

“I can’t let you do all the work Y/N.”

“This isn’t open for discussion.”

Both of you engage in a staredown, and you know Jae has relented when he lets out a sigh.

“Alright give me a minute, I’ll bring the memory card out.”

He slips through the door and you catch Younghyun’s smirk from his spot on the top bunk. Younghyun always looks like he knows something you don’t when he catches you and Jae together; just what exactly is up with that guy?

Jae comes back out exactly a minute later, his grip on the memory card not loosening even when it’s in your hands.

“You sure about this Y/N? There’s a lot to go through.”

“Yes I’m sure Jae. Now hurry inside and rest!”

Gently, you give Jae a shove before he can get another word in, closing the door after yourself.

\---

_Alright, let’s get down to work._

Slotting Jae’s orange memory card into the reader, you expected to find a bunch of folders from the various school events. Yet there was no mistake; only a collection of photos was found. And the collection of photos all had the same subject:

**_You._ **

The very last photo you found dated back 2 years ago, when Jae had just joined the photography club and you were still with the school dance team. You were on the floor holding onto your ankle as your members crowded around you, yet you managed a smile through the grimace. You remember that particular dance - you had landed wrongly during the acrobatic move, causing you to sprain your ankle.

The caption below wrote: **_It pains me to see you hurt, but you’re so brave for putting on a smile._**

The photo later got featured during a dance special for the school magazine, highlighting the strong spirit of the dance team. You always wondered who took the photo; half of you wanted to punch the person for taking such an ugly photo of you, another half was thankful that the person decided to send in the photo, giving the editorial team a good story to work with. Now that you know it’s Jae, you’re definitely going to tackle him first, but hug him later for the good shot.

Scrolling further up, there was another photo of you during orientation camp; speaker in your hand with green streaks on your face. You looked so happy in the photo, and it brings back fond memories of the adrenaline rush you felt when you saw your group working hard on their cheers.

**_Your smile is so infectious, I found myself smiling like an idiot looking back at this photo._ **

Upon viewing the other photos, you found the same concept being repeated: it was you in various moods and events, with a small caption at the bottom about how Jae felt about you. With each passing photo, your heart swelled with emotions, in absolute disbelief that you always had a guardian angel watching over you all these years.

The final photo; the one he took at the school carnival last week was the one that sealed the deal.

**_They say that one takes photos of those they’re afraid of losing, and for me, I hope I’ll never lose you._ **

\---

You rap on his door thrice, wiggling your toes in anticipation as you heard the sound of foot thumping against the ground on the other end.

The door swings open with a whoosh, revealing Jae with an even messier bird’s nest resting atop of his head now.

Passing the memory card back to him, you confidently said, “All done.”

“A-A-Already? But it’s only been an hour!”

“Well truth is… there was nothing to edit in the first place.”

“Really? But I’m sure I hadn’t done anything yet.”

“See for yourself.”

You hand the card over to him and Jae slots it into his laptop to check, very sure that you had made a mistake. The moment the window pops up, he slams the laptop screen down for the second time in the day, groaning as he squeezes his eyes shut and wills himself to disappear in a poof immediately.

But no such luck.

He cracks an eye open to peek at his side and there you stood calmly, with your hands behind your back, your head tilted slightly to get a better look at his face.

“You saw.”

“Mmmhmm. But don’t you have anything else to say to me?”

 _What am I supposed to say! You know everything! I can’t confess properly now; the fact that you’re aware of my feelings just makes the bundles of nerves in my stomach grow tighter_.

Jae’s conflicting feelings show on his face, and you decide to be nice and not put him in a tough spot.

“I thought someone was afraid of losing me.”

“I am! I just...never knew how to...you know...”

He can’t. He just can’t bring himself to ask you the question; afraid of hearing a different answer.

“Ask me to be your girlfriend?”

A nod.

“Well, you could start by asking me out.”

“How? You’re so...up there and I’m so down here and I just-”

You quickly place a finger on Jae’s lips, stopping him from criticizing himself further.

“Ok then let me demonstrate, alright? For example: Hey Jae, I’m going to the aquarium this coming weekend to get some shots for the marine biology club, care to join me?”

It’s silent between the 2 of you for a while, Jae unsure if you were being serious with your request.

“I’m absolutely serious Jae, and I’m still waiting for an answer.” You then show off your biggest smile, a clear indication that you were being genuine with him.

“I would love to Y/N.”

His face then lights up with a smile that easily rivalled your own, one that is bright and warm and dazzling.

If you could take a photo of Jae, now would be the time - because this was a picture perfect moment that you want to remember forever.


End file.
